Trying Not To Love You

by Megan Smith

  The second bedroom was just like the master except it didn't have a whirlpool or fireplace. It had a sliding glass door that led out to a little private deck.

  In the basement, there was a pool table, a bar and a huge movie screen with two rows of couches lined up in front of it. The back wall was all ceiling to floor windows with a view of the mountains.

  "Oh Hunter, this house is just unbelievable and it must have cost a fortune. You really didn't have to do all this." I said, wrapping my arms around his side.

  "Don't worry about how much it cost; just enjoy it." He placed a kiss on the top of my head. "Well, let's get our bags upstairs."

  We walked back up to the main floor to grab our bags. After we unpacked, Hunter asked me, "Are you hungry? I could go downstairs and make us something to eat."

  "No I'm still full from earlier but I would love to try out the whirlpool." I told him. The minute I had seen it, I wanted to get in it to relax after that ten-hour drive.

  "Ok, you go get in; I'll be there in a few minutes. I'm going to go grab something to eat."

  While Hunter was downstairs, I walked into the bathroom, turned on the water and stripped out of my clothes. I was alone in the tub for a while before Hunter finally came in. For a little bit I did not think he was going to come in.

  "Hey, what took you so long?" I asked. He started stripping out of his jeans and that black t-shirt that I loved so much that stretched over his broad chest.

  "I told you I was hungry, plus what's the rush? We have all weekend to ourselves." He stepped in the whirlpool settling in between my legs, facing me.

  I felt a little exposed this way; I moved my legs up to my chest and hugged my arms around them. Hunter frowned when I did that. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to him so we were chest to chest. The second our skin made contact, I shivered; he really had no idea what he did to me.

  "This feels nice after that long drive." Hunter moaned laying his head back on the edge.

  I started placing kisses on his neck while running my right hand up his chest down his stomach and back again. He grabbed my hand, held it over his chest and then looked at me, so intently.

  "Do you feel it?" He asked.

  "It's beating so fast." I said. I broke our eye contact, laid my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

  "Every time you're near me this happens." He said and turned his head to kiss my forehead.

  He started rubbing his hand up and down my back, causing me to shiver again. I started running my hand up and down his chest and stomach, causing him to shiver this time too.

  "Hunter," I said as he kissed my shoulder. "Make love to me." Hunter stopped kissing me and sucked in a breath, slowly letting it out as he closed his eyes.

  "CC…"

  "Please Hunter," I said. "I want to be with you; I'm ready. I've waited this long to share this with you; I don't want to wait any longer."

  "Are you sure?"

  Nodding at him, I said, "It just feels right; we need this, and I need this."

  Hunter did not respond. Neither of us needed words anymore. He helped me from the whirlpool. He helped dry me off and then I did the same to him, both of us taking our time, kissing every part of each other's body from our heads to our legs.

  Looking down at me, he slowly ran his hands down my sides to my hips. A whimper escaped from me at what was to come next. He picked me up and walked me over to the bed; he carefully laid me on my back while he climbed on top of me. His knees nestled inside of mine.

  "If you change your mind at any time, just tell me," Hunter said while placing kisses on my neck. I shifted my hips so that he was at my entrance. "Let me do this for you ok? Tonight is all about you."

  Pulling back from me slightly, he rubbed his hands against my breasts. My eyes closed as he brought a nipple to his mouth and sucked lightly on it, causing my back to arch.

  I sucked in a quick breath with realization settling in. Was I really about to do this with him? I have dreamt about this day for so many years that my first would be with Hunter. I wanted it, but was so nervous at the same time.

  "CC we can stop now…"

  Cutting him off, I said, "Hunter, I don't want to stop; I'm just a little anxious but I want to do this."

  "I'm going to be as gentle as I can with you." Reaching up to him, I put my hand over his heart and felt it thumping hard. He was nervous too. Tilting my neck, Hunter bent down and started placing kisses on it. "I'll go slowly; if it hurts just tell me, and we'll stop."

  He started pushing through my entrance. "This might hurt some." As he said that, I reached up and dug my fingernails into his back at the first sting of pain. Once Hunter was through the barrier, he stilled inside me, giving me a chance to adjust to him. Then he started moving slowly again and the pain started subsiding. We felt like two puzzle pieces fitting together so perfectly.

  As I started moaning louder, Hunter grabbed my hands, laced our fingers together and put them above our heads. As Hunter continued to thrust in and out of me, I hitched my legs up around his hips so he would thrust deeper. I felt like I could not get him close enough. Snuggling into his neck, I started nipping as I felt the tension starting to grow between my legs.

  "Come with me CC, I want to feel it." He moaned softly in my ear. After a few more thrusts, I was falling over the ledge. Hunter thrust in two more times and then stilled as his own release hit. After a few minutes, Hunter rolled over and he pulled me against him to snuggle. Laying there, I placed my hand over his heart, feeling it beat wildly still, just like mine.

  "Are you ok? I didn't hurt you did I?" Hunter asked after his breathing went back to normal.

  Speaking for the first time since we started, I lifted my head and looked into his bright blue eyes. "I couldn't have asked for it to be better than it was." Smiling at him, I reached up and ran my hand through his hair. "Thank you." I wanted to tell him I loved him. After that, there was no doubt in my mind that he loved me and he would tell me when he was ready.

  He kissed me and then said. "Good night CC."

  "Sweet dreams Hunter."

  A few hours later, I woke to Hunter holding a warm compress between my legs. God that felt good; I was sore but not too sore.

  "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I just wanted to make sure you were ok." When he pulled the towel up, I noticed the blood on it.

  How embarrassing, I did not even think of this part. I started flushing while reaching for the towel. "It's ok; I'll take care of it." I started to move my legs off the bed but he stopped me.

  "Don't be embarrassed CC." He reached over on the end table and handed me a glass of water and some pain reliever.

  Looking at him, I had to smile. Leave it to Hunter to think of everything. "You're going to spoil me, you know that right?" I took the pain reliever and water from him. "Thank you." I handed him the empty glass back. "I think I'm going to take a quick shower."

  I walked into the bathroom and quickly took a shower, wanting to get back to Hunter. I dried my hair as best I could with the towel and put it up in a ponytail. When I walked back into the room, he had changed the sheets. Now, he laid on his back, his arm over his eyes with the sheets pulled up just enough to cover his hips. Walking over to the dresser, I reached in and pulled out a t-shirt.

  "What are you doing?" Hunter asked me.

  I turned around to face him and shrugged my shoulder at him, "Just putting something to sleep in on."

  "Don't do that." He pulled the covers back. "Come here."

  I threw the shirt on top of the dresser, walked over to the bed and cuddled up next to him.

  Hunter ran his fingers lightly up and down my back. He sighed and spoke so low I barely heard him, "You've wrecked me for anyone else."

  I didn't respond; I don't think I was meant me to hear that. I've wrecked him; he has wrecked me just as much if not more. He has my heart in his hands and I just hoped he doesn't break it.

  The next morning when I woke up, I knew before I even opened my
eyes that he was not in bed. I reached over to his side of the bed and it was cold, so I knew he had been up for a while. I threw on some clothes and went to go find him.

  When I walked downstairs, it was so silent that you could hear a pin drop. Where was he? I walked downstairs to the rec room, thinking maybe he was watching a movie and didn't want to wake me up, but he wasn't there either. I walked back upstairs to our room, grabbed my cell phone and tried to call him. As I was dialing his number, I heard the door shut downstairs. I quickly turned around and went back downstairs.

  He was all sweaty and flushed; he must have gone for a run. His shirt was wet from his sweat and clung to his chest, and his shorts rode low on his hips. "Morning handsome."

  "Morning CC, did I wake you?" He asked, walking towards the fridge. He took out a bottle of water and drank the whole thing.

  "No but I didn't like waking up and you not being there. Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked as I perched myself on the barstool next to the breakfast nook.

  He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. "I needed to clear my head." My heart sped up, thinking he regretted last night. "Stop it; it's not what you think."

  "Then what is it?" I asked.

  Sighing, he walked over to me and turned my chair to face him. He looked like he was going to have a panic attack. "What is it? Just tell me."

  "We um," He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then opened them and looked at me. "We didn't use a condom last night; I was so caught up in you that I didn't even think about it. I'm so sorry."

  So, this was what had him acting strange. I smiled and said, "Don't worry about it. I'm on the pill. I should have mentioned it last night. I figured since you knew I didn't sleep with anyone, and you know everything else about me, that you knew this too."

  He stared at me for a minute before he responded. "Doesn't matter, CC. I still should have used one, and I'm sorry."

  "Stop it, I'm not sorry." I put my hands on his shoulders and said, "Let's go get a shower. You need one." I pushed him away and ran up the stairs laughing.

  Moaning, he ran up the stairs behind me. We forgot all about that conversation as we helped each other out of our clothes. We stepped into the shower, washed each other and spent time memorizing each other's bodies.

  I wanted him and I knew he wanted me by the way he was groaning as my hand was running up and down the length of him. Hunter spun me around and lifted me against the wall; I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips.

  He was right at my entrance, but before he entered, he asked, "You're not too sore are you?"

  "No." I answered, and then sunk down on him.

  He buried himself deep inside me and whispered, "God, you are so tight." He groaned. "This is going to be hard and fast."

  I buried my face in his neck, kissed him and lightly bit him. He thrust so hard and so fast, bringing me closer to my orgasm. Everything started to tingle and the back of my head hit the shower wall.

  Hunter threw his head back and moaned, "Let go CC" and we both fell over the edge at the same time.

  As we started to come down from our high, Hunter rested his forehead on mine and said, "I'll never get enough of this." Then he slowly kissed me a few more times before he lowered my legs.

  We cleaned up again, and he walked out of the bathroom in just a towel. When he walked back in, he had put on a pair of boxer briefs. In his hand was a blow dryer. He plugged it in, pulled me in front of him and started drying my hair.

  No one had ever done this for me, no one except for my mom when I was little. I hated when someone dried my hair all wrong, but when Hunter did it, I didn't care if he did it right or not. When my hair was all dried, I turned around, and looked up at him to tell him thank you. All I could see was love in his eyes and him smiling down at me.

  Hunter picked me up, carried me over to the bed and gently laid me down. "Now, stay here while I go make us breakfast." He walked out of the door, and a second later, he stuck his head back in the doorway. "And don't put any clothes on. Actually, don't put clothes on at all this weekend." Then he walked away again.

  I laughed, threw myself back on the pillows and reached over to grab my phone. There was a text message from Hailey.

  Hailey – 9:37am: How's the v-card

  Laughing and shaking my head I sent her a text back.

  Me – 11:02am: What v-card? Xoxo

  Then I scrolled to my mom's text.

  Mom – 10:48am: Hope you're enjoying your time with Hunter.

  Me – 11:05am: I am love u

  A few minutes later I got a text back from Hailey, or at least that's who it said it was from.

  Hailey – 11:11am: WHAT! Hope your fucking kidding?

  A few seconds later, I heard Hunter's phone ringing downstairs. Fuck! I guess Mason saw the text. I didn't hear Hunter answer, so I guess he let it go to voicemail. He walked up a few minutes later with pancakes, eggs, orange juice and a stargazer, my favorite flower. Leave it to Hunter to remember this stuff, when I never thought through the years that he had cared or even paid attention.

  "So, um," I started, but I did not want to ruin the mood. I had to make sure he knew what had happened so if he answered his phone, he would be prepared. "I think Mason knows about us."

  Looking confused, he said, "What do you mean he knows about us? He's seen us kissing and shit."

  Shaking my head, I said, "No, I mean he knows we slept together." I looked down to my hands and back up at him. "Hailey and I were texting. I think he saw the text where I said "what v-card" when she asked how it was going."

  He didn't say anything for a while. I didn't want to ruin our time alone together but he had needed to know.

  He surprised me when he spoke up and said, "We'll deal with it when we get back."

  "Alright." We ate our breakfast in bed, while we watched TV, not really talking at all.

  When we finished, Hunter asked if I wanted to learn how to play pool. Little did he know, I already knew but I didn't tell him that little secret. I quickly threw on a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. We went downstairs to the rec room and Hunter set up the balls and then explained to me how to break. The first time I missed, and he showed me again. The second time, I nailed it, exactly as I always did.

  Hunter eyed me but did not say anything. I sunk two solids so it was still my turn. All the shots for me to take were hard and I wasn't ready for Hunter to catch on to the fact that I knew how to play. I looked over at him and asked, "You going to stand there or help me?"

  Smirking, he walked over and stood flush with my body, then pointed to the one he wanted me to hit. He slightly bent me over and positioned me to hit the ball. As he pulled back, I wiggled my ass and he completely missed.

  He thrust his hips into me as I started laughing. "You think this is funny do you?"

  "No, not at all." I said still laughing and wiggling my ass again.

  He turned me around to face him then picked me up and placed me on the table. He slowly drew my tank up and off me. "I love these." He whispered, as he took the back of one of his fingers and trailed it from my cheek, down my neck and then circled my nipple. He placed a kiss over it and then did the same to the other one. He replaced his lips with his tongue and circled my hard nipple.

  He was driving me crazy doing this, taking his time with my body.

  "Hunter." I whimpered his name and arched my back when he lightly bit my nipples.

  Thankfully, he didn't tease me for too long before he started placing open mouth kisses from the valley between my breasts. He traveled down my stomach, twirling his tongue in my belly button and then placed a kiss on each of my hips before he looked up at me.

  "You ok if I do this?" Hunter asked. Thank God, Hailey and I went and had our waxes done this week.

  I could not even form words, so I just smiled and nodded my head. He placed each of my feet on the table, slid my ass forward and spread my legs, giving him access. I was so nervous, no one has ever done this to me b
efore, yeah Dominic and I have messed around but I never let him go down on me.

  As he bent down and placed his hand on my knees, he said, "CC, you're shaking baby." He kissed the inside of my knee before resting it on his shoulder. "Don't be nervous." He kissed the inside of my other knee before he placed it on his other shoulder.

  He looked at me with such intensity in his eyes. "So pretty," he whispered, before he placed a kiss on my sex. As soon as his lips touched me, I bucked my hips off the table. Hunter chuckled and then did it again and again.

  Hunter reached around my right leg and separated my folds with his fingers, then placed an open mouth kiss there. He replaced his kisses with his tongue, and my hips again bucked right off the table.

  This was too much and too intense.

  "I got you CC." Hunter groaned. "Let me taste you, all of you."

  I wanted to tell him to stop but I couldn't even think of forming words as his tongue started torturing me. Sucking and twirling his tongue was almost my undoing. I was panting and whimpering so hard, it was almost embarrassing.

  Hunter pulled his mouth from me, looked up, smirked and put a finger inside me. Then he started lapping his tongue all over me again. I was so close; my legs started squeezing his head; my fingers locked in his hair, trying to ease the intensity.

  Pulling back he whispered, "Let go CC."

  Oh God, did I. I came so hard, and so fast I was seeing stars.

  After I came back down from my high, Hunter was right there waiting for me. He looked at me with this expression on his face that I could not explain. He picked me up and carried me back upstairs to the bedroom where we both snuggled up and fell asleep.

  When I woke up a few hours later, Hunter just laid there watching me sleep. "Do you ever sleep?"

  "Yeah, but not this weekend; I want to spend every minute with you," he said, before he kissed me. "I had plans to take you to hiking, but I don't even want to share you with the trees and mountains."