What a Sista Should Do
Page 22
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15. Why did Pam’s prayer feel like a betrayal to Yvonne? Have you ever felt a desire to keep God on your side, not your “enemy’s”? How does Christ’s exhortation in Matthew 5:44 address that dynamic?
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16. Pam is aware that Troy is trying to reach out—but she isn’t sure how to reciprocate. How has anger kept you from building bridges across relational chasms? (See Psalm 95:8; Matthew 6:14; Ephesians 4:32.)
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17. Why is Taylor so suspicious of Spencer? Does she have grounds for it? Why or why not?
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18. Yvonne describes marriage as an electric fence—once her protection and now a prison. How can the same relationship be both things? Can you empathize with Yvonne’s perspective? Why or why not?
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19. What do you think about Pam’s idea to invite both Yvonne and Taylor to Jamaica? Was she crazy or courageous? A mediator or meddler? When have you been stuck between two friends? How did you handle it?
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20. Why can’t Taylor just sit back and enjoy her date with Spencer? What do you think Spencer might do to make her more comfortable (if anything)?
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21. Is it true that “you can’t hate someone that you’re praying for”? Why or why not? How does Taylor’s prayer seem to break down some of Yvonne’s hostility?
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22. What does it mean for Yvonne and Taylor that Yvonne voices her forgiveness? Do you believe God really can open up such a relationship between two women with that kind of history? Why or why not? (See Colossians 3:13; 1 John 1:9.)
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23. The women (especially Pam) discover relief and joy in sharing their burdens instead of hiding their cares. (See Galatians 6:2.) Why do we try to do it alone?
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24. “I no longer respect this man as my husband. I don’t acknowledge his headship.” Was Yvonne right or wrong to feel so? What does it mean for her to recognize this shift in her feelings?
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25. Taylor admitted that staying at New Faith became a form of penance; now she realizes maybe she does want Spencer to judge her. Why? Why can’t she (or we) accept the grace of forgiveness?
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26. “Everybody needs a tantrum now and then.” Do you agree or disagree? How can we express the violence of our emotions in healthy and appropriate ways?
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27. Yvonne has already admitted she didn’t know what forgiving Taylor would mean. Now she is trying to sort out what it would mean to forgive a philandering spouse. What does it mean?
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28. Is Taylor right—should Pam go to Troy’s shows? Why or why not? How does 1 Peter 3:1 apply to such a decision?
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29. Why did (or do) you want to get married? What changes might be necessary for you to become a more effective spouse?
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30. Have you ever felt like Pam—that life is speeding past and you want to get it back? How can a Christian handle that feeling? (See Ecclesiastes 3:1-15; 12:1,13.)
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31. What Scriptures fill your arsenal when you (like Taylor) are swamped by negative accusations from the past or present?
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32. While Yvonne just feels worn out and broken down, Pam views her transformation into a strong and confident woman. How do such apparently negative emotions produce strength of character? (See Romans 5:1-5.)
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33. How do Taylor’s responses to both Glenda and Spencer evidence real growth in her character?
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34. Have you ever had the feeling that you were “writing the wrong story” in life? When? How did you respond?
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35. How do Yvonne’s reflections concerning the need to find herself, not another man, relate to Paul’s exhortation in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34?
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36. How do you discern between passion and obsession? What does Scripture suggest (see Proverbs 29:18; Joel 2:28; Titus 2:11-14)?
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37. Yvonne agrees to attend Luke’s hearing but doesn’t know what to say. What do you think she should do? What would you do? What insights might Scripture offer? (See Romans 8:26-27.)
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38. How do you answer tough questions (like Joshua’s) from a child—your own or someone else’s? How can you help a child come to grasp with tough realities in life?
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39. “It’s easy to be the victim,” Yvonne told Taylor, “. . . but you endured everyone’s scorn.” Do you agree: Is it easier to be the victim? How does the church minister to the guilty and the innocent in such circumstances?
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40. Troy wonders how to approach God in prayer. How do you talk to God—like a friend, a parent, a king? How did Jesus talk to God? (See Matthew 6:9ff.)
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41. A recurring theme in this book seems to be that appearances can be deceiving. How does that theme relate to our ministry to others—and our ability to allow others to minister to us?
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42. What went wrong with Pam’s visit to Troy’s show? How would you expect your spouse to handle the conflict between a professional commitment (like Troy’s tour) and your own due date?
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43. Was Luke ever a “good husband” to Yvonne? Why or why not? How do you (and Scripture) define a good husband? Is being a provider sufficient?
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44. Pam seems to have it all—marriage, children, wealth, and now a fulfilled dream—but she still feels hollow . . . sick and tired of being sick and tired. How do you encourage yourself (or someone else) in that situation?
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45. What does freedom or independence look and feel like to you? (See 2 Corinthians 3:17; Romans 6:18; Galatians 5:13; 1 Peter 2:16.)
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46. More than once, Pam has envied her daughters’ lack of inhibitions in expressing their emotions, positive and negative. How do our adult masks obstruct our relationships—with family, friends, and God? (No wonder Jesus said, “Unless you come as little children . . .”)
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47. How does your own group of sisters (Glory Girls) compare to the Sister to Sister group in this novel—for better and worse?
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