Break Through Your BS_Uncover Your Brain's Blind Spots and Unleash Your Inner Greatness

by Derek Doepker

  It’s easy to talk about “receiving” as if it’s a simple and universally agreed upon idea and start spouting off cute quotes about “be open to receiving,” but you must truly appreciate the many games, or else your mind might trick you into deluding you into thinking “taking” is “receiving.”

  Now that you can see how “receiving” is an act of “giving” something, let’s talk about receiving even more of what you want.

  How To Actually, Like For Seriously, Get What You Want In Life

  Are you reading this book because there’s something you wish to have in your life?

  Do you want to learn how to turn your dreams into reality?

  Do you want to experience freedom from your limitations?

  Do you crave to know the secrets to receiving anything you desire, like more happiness, great relationships, shit tons of money, a successful business, and excitement?

  Why?

  Why do you care about any of those things if you have nothing and will gain nothing?

  Why do you care about that stuff if you can choose to be happy right here now with what you “have?”

  Or are you still playing the mind’s game of getting more and never having enough?

  Still, I wouldn’t be writing this book if I didn’t have something to gain from it, and you wouldn’t be reading it if you didn’t have something to gain, right?

  I won’t sell you on the idea that neither of us have something to gain from our journey together, but what we have to gain might not be what we think…

  Do you want to know how to get what you want?

  It’s simple…

  Don’t ask, “How can I get?” Instead ask, “How can I give?”

  #YouProbablyHadThisFiguredOut #IPrettyMuchSpelledItOutLastChapter #ItBearsRepeating

  If you ask, “How can I give,” then you will start to find your answer to receiving what you desire. Just remember, one must let go of all expectations of getting anything in return or else you get caught up in “give and take.”

  Gee Derek… thanks for nothing. I already know to give without expecting anything in return. That’s common sense. The problem, like all this self-help stuff, is that it’s easy to say “give without expectation” and “let go of attachment,” but it’s not so easy to do. Why don’t you offer some practical advice that I can actually use instead of all this vague, overly emotional bullshit. #RealTalk

  Well, there the mind goes playing that game again. Oh, by the way, these little sections aren’t what I imagine you’re saying, it’s what I say to myself. It’s my mind’s bullshit put on page. You weren’t assuming it was anything else, were you?

  To respond to my own mind, I’d say this…

  Great point, mind! I appreciate you for bringing this up. I really love how you remind me of these things and keep me on my toes. You’re such a great friend and ally. It IS easier said than done sometimes, isn’t it? This means I need to do it more than I say it. What if it’s not about how much I succeed, but how much I strive to succeed? What if it’s not about what I do, but how I “be?” After all, my doing comes from my being. How do I need to be? What character trait can I cultivate to mitigate my selfish tendencies and go beyond my mind?

  Well, I don’t have all the answers, but a wise mentor of mine, Brandon Broadwater, told me that gratitude cures selfishness. Looking back, every time I was feeling grateful, I wasn’t caught up in wanting to “get” anything but rather wanting to give out of gratitude. I felt like I had so much already that I was happy to give some of my surplus. I seem to have proven to myself that this works.

  So how do I cultivate even more gratitude? I suppose I can ask my heart and soul, “What am I grateful for?” Then really keep exploring all kinds of variations of this question like, “What should I be grateful for? What can I be grateful for that I’m not seeing?” Looks like this is a great question that I can sit with and explore… always and forever. Thanks for the reminder mind!! You rock! #ILoveYourChallenges #BestiesForever

  Now you’re a smart person, and I know this because you’re reading this book. You’re a cut above the rest if you read a Derek Doepker book. You may be starting to put some pieces together. So what if I asked you, “How do you receive more?” What would your response be?

  Using a little basic logic, if the way to receive is to give, then you probably guessed the way to receive more is to give more.

  Now wouldn’t a good question be how to give more?

  In order to know how to give more, you might consider, “What is the source of my giving?”

  You’ll note that I told my mind that gratitude is the cure for selfishness. Gratitude switches the source one gives from. If you don’t give from the right source, you can never totally get out of the “give and take” game. Even I, quite regularly, draw from the wrong source.

  When I catch myself giving from the wrong source, that’s when I must think… Just remember the parable of the greedy giver. What was their source?

  The Parable Of The Greedy Giver

  Each day, villagers from nearby cities would make the trek out to the river of Limitless Supply to fill their containers with water. The river was given this name because in the thousands of years that people had occupied the area, never once had the river run dry.

  One day, a modest villager was making her way to the river when she came across a man lying on the ground, exhausted from thirst and dehydration.

  “Please, do you have any water you can give me?” he cried out.

  The villager, looking with pity on the man, said, “I would give you water, but I have none.”

  The villager then proceeded to the river of Limitless Supply.

  She did as she always did. She made sure to fill up only what she needed for herself and her family – sure not to take any more than her fill. She was told never to be greedy, and she was obedient. She also realized the virtue in not weighing herself down with excess water to carry.

  Upon her return trip home, she passed the thirsty man who once again pleaded, “Please, do you have any water you can give me?”

  The villager once again looked with pity on the man. “I do not have water I can spare, for I only have my fair share. If I were to give my water away, then either I or those I love would go thirsty.”

  She returned to her village.

  Several hours later, another villager on her way to the river of Limitless Supply came across the same man.

  “Please, do you have any water you can give me?” he cried out even more desperately.

  The villager, looking with pity on the man, said, “I would give you water, but I have none.”

  The villager, proceeded to the river of Limitless Supply.

  She did as she always did. She made sure to fill up multiple containers of water so she would have extra. She always took more than her share, and some called her greedy. Yet, she felt she might as well take as much as she could from a river that has limitless supply.

  Upon her return trip hope, she deliberately passed the thirsty man who once again pleaded, “Please, do you have any water you can give me?”

  The villager, looked with pity on the man and said, “I do have water to spare. I have enough for you, and even enough for you to take and give to others. Let’s return to the village together, and should we see anyone else in need of water, we may both have water to give them.”

  End story.

  Was the villager who only took her “fair share” selfless? Generous? Considerate?

  Was the villager who took more than her fair share selfish? Greedy? Inconsiderate?

  Who was able to give more? Who was able to be more generous?

  How often are you refusing to receive more, only to find you have less to give?

  When are you refusing to ask for what you’re worth and can’t give as much to others as you’d like?

  When are you refusing to receive rest and end up too tired and drained to give yourself, others, and the world anything of value?

 
When are you refusing to receive help in an attempt to do it all yourself and can’t give the world a gift that can only be created through team work and collaborative effort?

  In our society, those who have riches are often resented. “Rich people are greedy.” “Those who want more are selfish.” “Those who ask for a lot of money must not be content with what they have because they aren’t spiritual enough and are unenlightened.”

  This. Is. Bullshit.

  This doesn’t have to strictly be about financial riches. Those rich in their relationships may be looked at with envy by those who have poor relationships. Those rich with knowledge may be looked at as snobs by the ignorant. Those rich will skills may be scorned by those who’ve preferred distractions over their development.

  Yet all this resentment and jealousy will do is keep a person from receiving what they reject in another.

  Whatever you’re resenting, you’re robbing yourself from receiving. What you resent in another, you resist having for yourself.

  Imagine someone looks at a nice house and feels, “What a rich jerk! They must have screwed over a lot of people to get that kind of money.”

  What are the odds this person will ever be financially well off? Wouldn’t they keep themselves from ever becoming a “rich jerk” by remaining poor or middle class? If they did “receive” a lot of money, how long would they keep it for before they find a way to sabotage their wealth so they don’t start to look at themselves with resentment?

  But Derek… I don’t resent others. I’m happy when I see another person do well. I resent myself for not being able to get the same things. These people must have something I don’t… good for them, bad for me. I don’t have the intelligence, charm, charisma, opportunities, self-discipline, motivation, and ridiculous good looks they have.

  Thank you for sharing, mind. I appreciate that we might not have all those inherent qualities as much as others. But even you know the part about us not being ridiculously good looking isn’t true. We’re a #SexyBeast. However, remember it’s not just about what you resent in another. Who’s to say that you and another aren’t one and the same, from one point of view? What you resent in yourself, you keep from receiving yourself. Let’s play the game of finding all the things I appreciate about myself, as I am here now. And then I will start to receive even more. After all, those people with riches probably felt the same insecurities themselves because they too have a doubting mind, and yet, look at what they’ve done when they worked with their minds. Let’s do this together!

  Side note…

  Do I try to argue with my mind and make it wrong, or do I appreciate what it has to share? I may simply tell my mind, “Thank you for sharing,” and then move on. I don’t make it “bad” or “wrong.”

  If you hate drama and conflict, what do you do in your daily life? Try to keep the peace at all times? Avoid any confrontation? Don’t speak your point of view?

  What if you love conflict? Do you embrace the chance to argue and prove another person wrong every opportunity you get?

  Whatever you do in your outer world, you do in your inner world. To treat your mind and the arguments it brings up as “bad” means you’ll either avoid what it has to say, like avoiding that one friend who you “just don’t even want to get started with,” or you’ll engage it in all kinds of “you’re wrong, I’m right” arguments. Neither works to create lasting resolution in real life, neither works to create lasting resolution in your inner life.

  What if learning to make peace with yourself is the key to making peace with others? What if learning to make peace with others is the key to making peace with yourself? What if there is no difference between yourself and others?

  You must give your mind and its thoughts acknowledgement if you wish to receive its wisdom. However, don’t confuse acknowledgement with entertaining a thought. You may still wish to let thoughts go and play a different game than what the mind prefers by simply telling it, “Thanks for sharing, I choose something else.”

  Back to our main topic…

  I say that it’s bullshit to say “rich people are greedy.” But what about rich people who really are greedy? It definitely seems to happen. Just look at wealthy individuals who don’t give two shits about the wellbeing of others or the planet in their climb to the top. Isn’t it true that there are some very greedy, selfish people out there who step on the people they consider “below them?”

  If one is a “giver and taker,” then being rich opens them up for more taking. More selfishness. More fear of loss and therefore more taking and hoarding anything they can get. Pride takes over, and they’ll also attempt to take away approval from others by giving rejection and insults. There are definitely some rich jerks out there.

  Being rich simply makes one more capable of giving. More capable of giving what one is and has – for better or worse. So if one is a “giver and receiver” who is driven by love rather than fear, then wouldn’t being rich mean they have more to give for good?

  Being rich simply means you have more to give. If you’re loving, you’ll give “awesome shit” like gifts. If you’re an ass, you’ll give more “shit” to people who don’t deserve it.

  The idea that “we all have the same amount to give” is both true and false.

  On one hand, we all have a great capacity. We all have large containers we can fill at the river of Limitless Supply to have more than our fair share, so that we have plenty to give to others. Yet whether or not we fulfill the capacity of these containers is our choice.

  The notion that “we’re all equal” is both true and false.

  Isn’t it true that some have more knowledge, more skills, more resources to give to others?

  Many wish to share a message on how to live better with others, but what if they lack the skills to teach effectively? Does their empty container have anything to offer, or must they fill their container by gaining the skills of teaching and influence?

  Many wish to give money to charity, but what if they lack the money to give to charity? Does their empty container have anything to offer, or must they fill their container by acquiring more money?

  Many wish to care for those they love, but what if they haven’t cared for themselves and are too tired and empty to give care? Does their empty container have anything to offer, or must they fill their container by caring for themselves and restoring their energy?

  We all have great capacity, albeit in different qualities, yet the contents of our containers is determined by our choices.

  Most people aren’t walking around with completely empty containers, unless things have gotten really bad. Instead, most are walking around with “just full enough” containers for themselves, and maybe those they love the most. Not enough to make a great impact, just enough to get by and do mediocre things in the world. Just enough to not have to consider themselves, or be considered by others, “selfish.” Yet in this mediocrity, one would selfishly rob the world of the gift of their greatness.

  The first villager wasn’t totally selfish. She considered her needs, and then considered her family back in the village. Where she stopped was considering this thirsty man. She didn’t fill up her container enough to help this man because this wasn’t her responsibility. She didn’t have to help this man after all, and this is certainty her choice.

  She may have even chosen to help the man at the expense of herself or her family. Yet, as she rightly pointed out, this would have just led to another person going thirsty. Why would anyone need to go thirsty if there’s a river of Limitless Supply? What would even stop her from just going back and refilling her container?

  Had she gone beyond herself though, and considered a bigger mission, to make sure no man or woman goes thirsty, and considered the source of her giving was of limitless supply, wouldn’t she have decided to fill up her containers with far more?

  Are you just considering what you and those closest to you need from you? These are definitely the bigger priorities. Yet with Limitless
Supply, why would you limit yourself? Why would you limit what you receive when that means limiting what you can give?

  It’s when you have a willingness to give more, by your consideration of what’s beyond you and your immediate concerns, that you’ll receive more. You must be asking, “How can I give even more?” in order to open yourself up to opportunities that exist right now to receive even more.

  This isn’t just a feel good idea of “magically” receiving more because you give more – it’s downright practical for overcoming your fears that keep you from receiving what you want.

  When you have a big enough reason why you’re doing something, you won’t let anything stop you. When you find a cause that goes beyond your own needs, you’ll transcend the fear of losing out on your needs.

  Would you be willing to face death to save a life of a loved one?

  Your desire to do something for another gets you outside of yourself, and once you’re outside of yourself, you’re beyond the limits of the fears that exist within you. The way to overcome what holds you back inside yourself is to get outside yourself.

  The bigger your cause, the greater your courage. When you’re driven by a mission that’s outside you and beyond your needs, the fears within you no longer bind you.

  I’m able to act most boldly when it’s not about getting what I want, but fulfilling a mission. My fear becomes irrelevant if I’m barely even thinking about myself. This must be taken with the caveat that I still meet my long-term needs. I still must feed myself before I can effectively feed others. In a plane, one would be wise to put the oxygen mask on themselves before assisting a child.