The Second Time

by Jade Winters

  When she reached her office, her heart pounding as if she’d run a marathon, she closed the door behind her, and leant back on it, eyes closed, breathing deeply and slowly to try and regain some composure. She let out one final deep breath then went to her desk, dropping her folders, and sinking into the plush leather chair.

  A knock on the door brought her back to the here and now.

  ‘Come in,’ she said.

  Eric opened the door and stepped through, closing it behind him with a click.

  ‘What can I do for you, Eric?’ Madison said, feeling her heart going into overdrive again.

  Eric sat, uninvited, opposite Madison and crossed his arms, leaning back in the chair.

  ‘I think you are making a big mistake, Madison.’

  ‘How so?’

  ‘Well, if Silver Lining are awarded the contract tomorrow, regardless of whether you vote or not, there will be accusations of favouritism. I think you are showing a great deal of bias toward the Silver Lining bid and it will be shown to be an unfair process. I also think your … activities … with Darcie are indicative of that bias and have no place in this company.’

  ‘And what activities would they be, Eric?’

  He looked wide-eyed for a moment and stumbled over his reply. ‘I … you know… well … I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. Such … proclivities … have no place here.’

  Madison regarded the old man in front of her with cold eyes, suddenly and mightily angry. She breathed deeply and with a Herculean effort, managed to roll back the anger and talk civilly to the old man in front of her.

  ‘Are you saying that my being gay has some bearing on the way I will run this company? If that is the case, and I won’t embarrass you by making you admit it, then you need to be aware that, not only am I gay, but Bette from Gaze is too, while Laura, with whom I’m sure you have become well-acquainted,’ she raised questioning eyebrows at Eric, who could not meet the stare, ‘is in fact bisexual.’

  Eric lifted his head and stared back now with a look of puzzlement on his face. ‘She’s—’

  ‘Yes, that’s right, Eric, Laura sleeps with women too. Now, I am going to make a deal with you here. With a dinosaur attitude like yours, I can never see us working together, can you?’ Eric shook his head.

  ‘So, it’s between me and you. If the board think me being the figurehead of this company will be a negative, I will announce that I will be leaving Clover Ltd and selling my share of the business as soon as I can.’

  Eric’s face brightened considerably.

  ‘On the other hand, should the vote go my way, I will be issuing a press release announcing that regrettably, due to … shall we say ill-health … you have decided to retire from the company with immediate effect. Does this sound fair?’

  Eric looked up from where he had been examining his hands in his lap. His eyes seemed dimmer than they had before, defeated. ‘Very. I think you’ll lose the vote Madison, but I have to say,’ he stood, walked around the chair, then leant on it with both hands, ‘your uncle would be proud of your decisiveness. Listening to you talk was like listening to him thirty years ago. Good luck.’

  Madison held his gaze for a second, desperately trying not to tell him to go fuck himself, then Eric turned on his heels and left.

  Madison lifted her hands from her lap and held them out in front of her. Both were quivering, and she felt sick, but after a few moments the quaking stomach and flickering hands subsided, and she was left, sitting in her chair, exhausted, hoping that Darcie would appreciate what she was doing for her.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Darcie unlatched the front door of her flat then walked shakily back to the sofa in front of the TV. The sound of some ludicrous mid-afternoon game show filled the air, and she waved Emma in when she stood in the doorway looking at her aghast.

  The dark-wood, low, coffee table in front of Darcie had an almost empty bottle of wine on it. Next to it sat a glass that was half-full, several empty crisp packets, a chunk of cheese on a cutting board along with a sharp knife, and a full packet of chocolate digestives.

  ‘Fuck me, Darcie. What the hell is going on in here? It looks like you had a party with a bunch of scruffy students.’

  Darcie lifted her head from the back of the sofa and perused the mess on the table. ‘Just a snack is all.’

  ‘Aww, bloody hell, Darcie. You’re pissed as a fart and it’s only …’ Emma pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans, ‘one-thirty in the afternoon. What’s going on?’

  ‘I’ve had one drink that’s all.’ She leant over to grab her glass but missed first time, giving Emma just enough time to grab the glass with two fingers then carry it out to the kitchen.

  ‘I’ll make you some coffee,’ she shouted through.

  Darcie flopped back against the sofa and bounced. Once she came to rest, she was very nearly upright, just listing slightly to port.

  ‘Bring me back my glass.’

  ‘No way. You’re slurring your words. If I let you drink any more, you’ll probably be sick down the front of your clothes.’

  Darcie giggled at that thought.

  ‘What’s so funny?’ Minutes later Emma deposited a mug of black coffee on the table in front of Darcie. ‘Drink that instead, you need to sober up.’

  ‘I don’t. I need to get even more pissed than I am now.’

  ‘Why? I mean I like a drink, but this just seems crazy. You barely ever drink much, and now you’re falling over drunk in the afternoon. What’s happened?’

  ‘I needed it.’

  ‘Evidently, but why?’

  ‘Madison.’

  ‘What about her?’

  ‘She did a right number on me. I bet her and that bitch Bette have been conspiring against me the whole time.’

  Darcie knew she was repeating herself but she couldn’t help it. Her thoughts were going round her mind like a loose cannon. She was hurting. Badly. It didn’t matter that her concerns had not been proven, or that she hadn’t given Madison the opportunity to defend herself. All that mattered was the evidence – Madison was the only person who had that file, then suddenly Bette had a copy. Madison must have given it to her. Which meant, when she put two and two together, there was something going on between them.’

  ‘That’s a big leap to come to that conclusion—’

  ‘What other explanation is there?’

  Emma looked over at Darcie who was by now leaking slow tears that trickled down her cheeks.

  ‘Ok, let’s say it’s true… if it is I’m sorry, Darcie, really I am.’ She paused and took a deep breath. ‘But right now we need to get that proposal in to give us a chance of still being in business by the end of the week.’

  ‘What’s the point? Bette told us she has Madison eating out of the palm of her hand.’

  Emma moved across to sit on the sofa next to Darcie. She picked up the mug of coffee and handed it over.

  ‘The point is,’ Emma said, holding on to Darcie’s spare hand. ‘We need that contract otherwise it’s all over.’

  ‘Then it’s all over, Emma. I’m not going to submit it.’

  Emma took in a deep breath. ‘I never took you for a quitter, Darce.’

  Darcie shrugged.

  ‘Darcie,’ Emma said sharply, cutting through the alcoholic fug that was surrounding her.

  ‘What?’ Darcie said back equally harshly.

  ‘You are being weak and stupid. You are letting your emotions get the better of you over a relationship you had for a few months ten years ago and for a few weeks now. You need to understand how much is at stake here. You know that I love you as a friend, Darcie, and I want you to be happy, but I also want to keep my home and let the staff keep their jobs. If this doesn’t work out, we could all lose everything, and it will all be your fault. You need to drink that coffee, sober up, get your business head on, and make a decision. When you have, you let me know.’

  Emma stood up from the sofa, pulled her jacket together and
buttoned it up.

  ‘We are all depending on you, Darcie. Please don’t let us down over something you have power over. I’ll see you. Oh, Clover called before I came out. They’ve called us in for the announcement tomorrow at one. The proposal has to be in by ten, just in case you are still interested.’

  Emma turned away and Darcie lifted her head when she heard the door slam.

  ‘I’ll show her who’s weak,’ Darcie muttered and slurred, swigging back the scalding coffee, heaving herself off the sofa, and heading for the bathroom.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  ‘No, sorry, I’m here with my friend,’ Madison said, pointing Kay out at the bar.

  ‘You sure? I could give you my number.’ The tall, well-dressed man who was leaning over Madison’s table smiled a warm smile, raising his eyebrows.

  ‘I’m sure. But thanks.’ Madison gripped her glass between both sets of fingers, fixing her gaze on the distorted slice of lemon that sat, drying out, on the thick base of the glass.

  The man’s smile lost some of its warmth then. ‘At least think about it. I promise you a good night out.’

  Madison looked up at the man, he was handsome in a slightly foppish, floppy-haired, dim kind of way. ‘Sorry, you’re not my type.’

  ‘They say a change is as good as a rest. Go on, why not take a chance on me. I’m not some kind of weirdo or anything.’

  Madison’s patience was wearing thin. She’d been politely knocking back his advances for a good ten minutes and he didn’t look like he was going to be giving up any time soon. He was still ogling her cleavage while at the same time attempting to press himself up against her.

  Sometimes you’ve got to be cruel to be kind. ‘Look, if I was to say that if you were the last man left on Earth, then you still wouldn’t be my type, would that make you understand?’

  The man stared at her for a few moments. Madison glanced back over to Kay, who still hadn’t managed to get served at the bar, then back at the man. The man’s eyes repeated the glance then fixed back on Madison, this time with his forehead creased and eyes slightly hooded. Then his eyes widened in understanding.

  ‘Oh, right, sorry, I … I … didn’t realise, sorry.’ His cheeks had suddenly taken on the hue of rosy apples.

  Madison fought back the urge to snort at the man’s sudden discomfort. Now he knew how she felt. ‘It’s OK. I would appreciate it if you could leave me alone now though.’

  ‘Right, yes, course, sorry again.’ After being fixed to the spot for another second, looking like he was trying to think of something else to say, he hesitantly turned away and departed into the darkened depths of the bar.

  Kay arrived back at the table with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

  ‘Who was he? He looked nice.’

  ‘Since when did you turn bi? You went out with that guy the other day and all of a sudden you’re interested in men?’

  ‘I think I always have been deep down. Besides, I like to think being bi just means I’m not fussy.’

  ‘That is such bullshit and it gives bisexual people a bad name. Just admit that you’re just doubling your chances of getting a shag?’

  ‘Not at all. I like to look at it as a numbers game. When you are a child of sexual freedom like myself,’ Kay said, one hand over her heart and pulling a serious face, ‘it seems a shame to limit oneself to just one gender.’

  Madison sipped at her drink. ‘I’ve never known you limit yourself to one person, never mind one gender,’ she said just as Kay took a mouthful of wine, making her sputter, spitting some back into her glass, then laughing aloud.

  Once Kay had calmed herself down, she looked up from her drink.

  ‘Have you heard from Darcie? I haven’t heard you mention her name in the last twenty minutes.’

  Madison returned the stare, but the humour had disappeared from her gaze.

  ‘I haven’t spoken to her today, she wasn’t in the office when I rang earlier, so nothing has changed from when we spoke this morning.’ Madison frowned. ‘Why is …’ she hesitated for a moment, wondering whether to say what she felt in case Kay took the piss out of her, ‘… love so difficult.’

  ‘Wow.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You just admitted that you love her.’

  ‘And, so what if I do? Nothing is going to happen while all this business at work is going on, and after that I’m going to be working so hard I won’t have time to worry about anything else.’

  Madison thought back to their time in Thailand. The bedroom antics had been hot as hell, but the times when they walked and talked, happy in each other’s company, holding hands, being themselves, it was those times she remembered the fondest, times that a warmth that seemed to originate with Darcie, had seeped into her skin, filling her with a feeling that she never wanted their time together to end.

  She remembered how tough it was to leave without saying goodbye, and how she hadn’t thought of anything but Darcie on her way home. So much so that she hadn’t been able to eat barely anything on the flight, although that might have had more to do with it looking like disgusting mush, but her softer side knew that wasn’t the case.

  It had been hard to leave, and hell to wait to see her again.

  ‘Hello.’ Kay clicked her fingers in front of Madison’s face, interrupting her thoughts. ‘Earth to Madison. Earth to Madison,’ Kay said, with her hand over her mouth in what Madison guessed was Kay’s attempt at some kind of generic sci-fi voice.

  ‘What, oh sorry. I was thinking.’

  ‘Yes.’ Kay dragged out the word, ‘I can imagine what you were thinking about, or should I say who? Look, go round to her place, find out where you stand once and for all, because seeing you moping around like this is putting me off my game. Ooh, look, that guy who was hitting on you is standing over there, right next to the toilets. I think I’ll go and powder my nose and see if I can accidentally bump into him on the way back.’

  Kay stood from her seat, smoothed down her clothes and hair, unbuttoned the top button of her blouse, and headed off toward the toilet, leaving Madison shaking her head at their table.

  When she turned to look a couple of minutes later, Kay was in an animated, but friendly discussion with the guy. She ran her hand up the lapel of his suit jacket, while flicking her miraculously glossy hair over her shoulder, which was now hanging loose instead of in the messy bun she’d had it in before going to the loo.

  Madison didn’t know whether to feel sorry for the guy or not.

  When she turned back to her drink she let out a small squeak of surprise.

  Bette was in Kay’s seat, calmly sipping on Kay’s wine.

  Madison laid her arms on the table in front of her. ‘Bette, you frightened the life out of me. What are you doing here?’ Madison forgot to ask why she was drinking Kay’s drink.

  ‘I saw you in the window as I was walking by. I was going to call you but talking face to face is much better.’ Her eyes gleamed, reflecting the bright spotlights beaming down from the ceiling of the bar, but to Madison they gleamed coldly, and with cunning. Madison couldn’t help the small shudder that rolled down her back.

  ‘Well actually, that’s not entirely true. I need to ask you something.’ Bette bared her teeth in a shallow smile.

  Madison, after the initial shock, was already back in her sixteen-year-old mind, feeling like Bette had her pinned up against the wall, as she had so many times before.

  ‘What?’ Madison asked in a voice that sounded timid, even to her.

  Bette leant over and grasped Madison’s hand in hers, then forced her bony fingers to intertwine with Madison’s. She knew she should pull away, she wanted to pull away, but Bette’s eyes had her fixed and she couldn’t move under the weight of her gaze.

  ‘I wanted to tell you…’ Bette scooted her chair forward slightly, ‘… that ever since the meetings we had, my feelings for you have developed. Feelings I had when we were together in the foster home.’

  Madison’s mouth opened. If sh
e was a cartoon, her tongue would have unrolled and lolled loosely over her chin. Madison tried to process what Bette was saying to her. It made no sense. She had feelings for her? The only feelings Bette had displayed to her back then were contempt and cruelty that bordered on hatred. Remembering those times, Madison could feel her anger rising. She shut her mouth and shook her head to try and rid herself of the memories.

  ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ Madison yanked her hand away, feeling one of Bette’s nails rake along her finger. ‘You hated me back then and ever since I got out of there, I have never wanted anything to do with you and I never will. Do you understand me?’ Madison could feel her confidence building.

  Bette stared at her for a moment, that sickly grin stretched across her face until, in a flash, it disappeared as Bette sat back in her chair.

  ‘Oh, well, it’s your loss.’

  ‘You really are unbelievable.’

  ‘Am I? Somebody else had a crush on you, back then, didn’t they? Darcie did, that’s for sure. Such a shame she had to move away, and it was such a surprise you two met up again. I know you two have been … getting together … lately, but take it from me, there’s no future in it for you.’

  ‘Do you honestly think I’d believe a word you say? I, sorry we know what you did Bette…’

  Bette shifted uncomfortably in her seat. ‘Did?’

  ‘The letter you wrote to Darcie, from me! Does that ring a bell?’

  Bette dismissed her with a wave of her hand. ‘Grow up. We were kids, it was a stupid prank. If you meant that much to her she would have come looking for you.’

  ‘You really are one cold bitch aren’t you?’ Madison couldn’t believe Bette didn’t have any sense of remorse at breaking them up. For making Darcie think I would forget about her so easily.