A Necessary Lie

by Lucy Farago

  She stopped pacing when she saw Ellis come through the ER doors. He’d volunteered to stay back and wait for the police. Mrs. Danielle hugged her eldest son. She’d gotten her wish. Her lost baby had returned home. And if he lived, maybe she’d have her answers. He had to live.

  “Grace, come and sit.”

  “No, thank you, Mrs. Danielle. I’m better standing.” She needed to move in order to process everything she’d heard while pretending to be passed out.

  Jessie had a son. Yet something else her best friend hadn’t told her… or her parents. Explaining a son would’ve meant explaining how that son came to be and that was one secret Jessie couldn’t tell. Not only had she been violated, but she’d gotten pregnant, given birth, and given the baby away without her parent’s knowledge.

  Then there was Cowboy. Jessie had had her reasons. But him? She resumed her pacing. What possible reason could he have to run away from home? From what she’d learned, his mother loved him. So what, his father was a hard ass. She’d grown up with the hardest of hard asses. No one saw her disappearing. And why change his identity? She could only think of one reason and it frightened the crap out of her.

  She was a cop’s daughter. She’d agreed to Cowboy’s rules for Jessie’s sake, but sooner or later she’d have told her father what he needed to help his case. He, of all people, knew how ICU worked. He’d never have demanded to know how they’d gotten their information. But this was different. This was a cold case. This was murder.

  She had no proof, but it explained a lot. For starters, Cowboy’s wanting to help find Jessie. The irony of losing her to the same family he’d saved her from mustn’t have been lost on him. His sacrifice had to have felt empty. And Jessie. How much of her keeping her secrets was for Cowboy? She’d help cover up the truth—a murder. Justified or not, that should’ve been for the police to decide, not two kids.

  Frustrated with her own thoughts, she pushed them all aside for later. She stopped at the automated doors clearly marked “No Admittance.” The man somewhere behind these barriers—fighting for his life—had thrown himself in front of a bullet meant for her. It would’ve been her in that operating room—or not. At that range, the odds of her having survived…. She’d be having no internal debate. She’d be dead.

  “Grace? Grace, honey, are you all right?”

  She blinked. Her father stood beside her, a worried crease on his brow. “I told you I was fine.”

  “Okay, but that was two hours ago. I called your name half a dozen times before you heard me. Are you sure those drugs are out of your system? We still don’t know what they gave you. Lab results aren’t back yet.”

  She hadn’t wanted blood tests, but she’d shot a man. And while the DA wasn’t going to press charges, he still required proof of what had been done to her.

  “My mind was elsewhere.” How many times had Cowboy… damn, Austin, teased her about that? Would he get to do so again? Even if she kept her mouth shut about the events that had transpired sixteen years ago, even if he made it out of surgery, what would become of them? He’d risked his life for her, but that didn’t mean he wanted a life with her. That could be who he was, a selfless cowboy who’d sacrifice himself for others. Hadn’t he already done that for Jessie?

  “Are you sure?”

  “Dad, a man took a bullet for me.” She placed her hand on the cold operating doors, remembering the last time she’d seen Cowboy. Pale and helpless were two words she never thought she’d use about the strong, sexy cowboy who’d stolen her heart. No, he hadn’t stolen it. She’d given it to him. Willingly.

  “I know, sweetie. You just have to believe he’ll make it through. He’s a good man.”

  “Bad things happen to good people. Isn’t that what you’ve always said?” Over and over again, her father had reminded her how unjust and evil the world could be.

  “Yes, but I never meant for you to see the world that way. I just wanted you to be on your guard. To see life with your eyes wide open. I may have done that a little too well.”

  “The world is a shitty place, Dad. People get shot.” She stepped away from the doors that were taking forever to open.

  “Not always. You should know we contacted the Lewis family through Ryan Sheppard. With Lyle gone, they’ve agreed to Isaiah helping Ella Stanton. The senator sent a private plane to pick them up. It would seem Isaiah has always had his suspicions about Jessie. He now knows the truth, but what remains of the Stanton family has agreed to welcome him into their family.”

  “I’m glad, for both families. How’d they take knowing their son died a rapist and not a hero?”

  “The senator suspects his wife already knew. He’s stepping down from politics and is about to release a statement.”

  “That’ll be hard on Isaiah, won’t it? Can that part be kept quiet?”

  “All parties concerned have agreed to try. No promises, though. Today’s world isn’t what it was fourteen years ago. Information leaks. And you should know that mysterious security footage I received showed one of my men helping Rick stow the Cadillac.”

  “You found your mole?”

  “I found my mole.” He leaned in and whispered, “Thank Austin when you see him.”

  Would she get that chance? She wrapped her arms around herself, not daring to tell her father she felt queasy. He’d have her out of here in a heartbeat. “And Mrs. Stanton? What about her?” She needed to be held accountable for her part in all this.

  “She’ll get a new judge and a new trial. Her prints and her blood were in that car. She’d smashed her head on the dashboard. Lyle did a good job at hiding Rick Levi, aka Richard Ashley, but the man had something his boss hadn’t counted on.”

  “What’s that?”

  “A conscience. He’s flying back as we speak to give his testimony. If the DA believes his story, that he thought Mrs. Stanton had hit another tree, then he’ll go easy on him.”

  “What are the odds of that happening?”

  “He came forward on his own. Lyle had set him and his son up for life. He gave it up to do the right thing. Odds are with Rick.”

  It didn’t mean he was telling the truth. Perhaps he didn’t want a life on the run for him and his kid. And as much as that was a possibility, she might as well concede to the possibility the man was indeed being honest. Two weeks ago she’d never have admitted it at all. She was changing. Was it the near-death experience? Or the cowboy who’d saved her? As she stood with the man who’d raised her to know right from wrong and to see the world and the people in it for what it… they were, could she make the conscious decision to deceive him?

  “How’s his family doing?” her father asked, nodding toward the group in the small waiting room.

  “They just got him back, and now they might have to face losing him. I’d say they’re not doing too good.”

  Her father regarded the Danielle family with a curious intensity that made Grace very uncomfortable. “Do you know what the true story is? I mean, he agreed to—” The chief stopped, catching himself before he admitted the real reason he’d hired ICU.

  She should tell him to stop the charade, but her father didn’t buck the system, and although he hadn’t technically broken a rule, neither had he been above board in bringing a company known for things not so black and white. “Going to finish what you were saying?” she said, testing him.

  “He agreed to put himself in a vulnerable position. You should know, I pulled up his name, his real name. Austin Danielle disappeared the same night Edward Stanton was killed. The police wanted him for questioning but could never find him. They thought he might have been the one to call it in.”

  “Really? Wouldn’t that have made him very young?”

  “Fourteen. Why the hell would a kid, from a good and prominent family, run away?”

  Why indeed? “Like you said, he was a kid. They’re not known for thinking straight. He told me he and his father didn’t get along.”

  “You’re a good reporter, Grace. Tell me, d
oesn’t it sound… off to you? He changed his name so his parents couldn’t find him. Maybe his boss didn’t give him a choice in taking my case, but he went out of his way to convince me I didn’t have a choice in his staying on. Was it as simple as hiding in plain sight?”

  “What are you trying to say?”

  He shook his head, looking as confused as he sounded. “I don’t know. Guess we won’t have answers until he wakes up.”

  We? As in she and her father, or she and the cop? She didn’t have time to ask. The doors to the OR wing opened and the surgeon walked out.

  “Chief Irvine,” he said, shaking hands with her father. “Are you involved with this shooting?”

  “Dr. Kalin. Long time no see. Grace, this man saved my life. Twice.”

  He was the doctor who’d worked on her father. Had he saved Cowboy? “Dr. Kalin, how’s Cowboy, I mean Austin? How’s Austin?”

  “I’m sorry, Ms. Irvine.”

  Grace grabbed her father’s arm as she struggled to catch her breath. Please, God, don’t let him be dead.

  The doctor smiled apologetically. “As you’re not family, I have to talk to his mother first.”

  “But—”

  “How’s my son?” Mrs. Danielle asked, her sons behind her.

  “He’s still in recovery. Come, I’ll take you to him.”

  Grace was sure her heart had lodged itself in her throat. Dr. Kalin was taking Austin’s mother to see him in recovery. Visitors weren’t allowed in recovery. Was he dying? She had a nasty vision of her standing in front of his grave. This was her all her fault. She should’ve gone with him to get the pizza. Had she been paying more attention…

  “Thank you, David,” she heard Mrs. Danielle say. Having lived here her whole life she obviously knew the doctor. “Can Grace come to?”

  Grace blinked. Still unable to say anything, all she could do was stare at Austin’s mom. She didn’t want to see him die. At the same time, she needed to be with him. A warm hand took hers as Mrs. Danielle gave her an encouraging nod.

  “We’re breaking the rules,” Dr. Kalin said. “But come along. Everyone else can see him later.”

  She allowed Mrs. Danielle to put an arm around her shoulder and tug her forward. She forced herself to get a grip and took in a deep breath. It should be her comforting his mother. She wrapped her arm around the woman’s waist and gave her a tight squeeze and hopefully what looked like a reassuring smile. The doctor led them down a stark hall and into a glass-walled cubicle where Cowboy lay strapped to machines.

  Except for a soft beep and the hum of the drip dispenser, the space was silent. Grace released Mrs. Danielle so she could go to her son. From what she’d been told, they’d already had their reunion but still, it brought a tear to Grace’s eyes to watch as the woman leaned over the bed and stroked her son’s face, one she’d believed she’d never see again.

  “The bullet was lodged in his spine. It took us a while to remove it without causing more damage.”

  “Damage?” the women asked in unison.

  “Lois, don’t fret now. He’s alive, and God willing, he will be for a good long time.”

  Grace now knew what it meant to say a silent prayer of thanks. He was going to live. But just what kind of life? For a man like Cowboy, would a wheelchair be a death sentence?

  “David, the truth. Don’t bullshit me. What kind of damage?” Mrs. Danielle demanded.

  “With good therapy and a lot of hard work, we’re hoping he’ll be fine. Time will tell. But he’ll have to hang up the rodeo buckle I keep hearing about. Now, don’t waste this time with your boy. I’ll be outside if you need me.” Then the doctor left them alone.

  “He’ll get through this,” Grace said, not sure she wasn’t lying to his mother.

  “Will he? The boy I knew….” She sighed. “Well, let’s just say that boy struggled.”

  Maybe, but he wasn’t that kid anymore. And she needed to give Mrs. Danielle hope that her son would recover, for her sake and his. He’d need his family now. “Did he tell you anything about where he’s been all these years?”

  “Very little. He was far more worried about getting you back.”

  Was that Mrs. Danielle’s way of saying this was Grace’s fault? If not for her, he wouldn’t be in that bed. “He’s not that same boy who left home.” Grace had called Monty earlier, believing he’d want to know what had happened. He told her Wolfman hadn’t survived this long on his own to be taken out by a bullet. She hadn’t believed it at the time, but Monty’s meaning now became clear. Cowboy was a survivor.

  “I just wish I knew why he left. Do you know?”

  “He never told me.” And if her theory was correct, she doubted Mrs. Danielle would ever learn the truth. Unless Grace turned him in. And until she herself knew the whole story, she wouldn’t do that.

  “Do you love him?”

  She’d caught Grace so off guard, she literally stumbled back.

  “I’m sorry,” Mrs. Danielle said. “But I saw what was happening between you at the party and his reaction when you’d been taken. Then, of course, he put his life on the line for you. As a mother, you would understand why I would hope it wasn’t for nothing.”

  Her tone wasn’t accusatory, just concerned. “Your son is a good man, but I don’t think he set out to take a bullet for me.”

  “No, of course not. But what did he think would happen if he threw himself between you and a mad man? I believe my son is a good man. But he’s not stupid.”

  “It was a split-second decision. He wasn’t thinking rationally.”

  “Men in love often don’t,” she said with a knowing grin.

  It wasn’t an act of love but… what ? Was it just who he was? What had been going through his mind when he’d killed to protect Jessie? Love? Had the fourteen-year-old boy been defending his sweetheart?

  “What is it you’re afraid of, Grace?”

  It was a ridiculous question. “Mrs. Danielle—”

  “Lois, please.”

  She nodded. “Do you remember the day we met? In the mall?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’d known Cowboy…Austin, for less than forty-eight hours.”

  “Oh, I see. And that’s not enough time?”

  Grace needed to go before Mrs. Danielle got her to admit she’d stupidly fallen for her son. Austin had said his parents loved each other. But even they didn’t have their happily ever after—her husband had died. “Sometimes nothing is ever enough.” She glanced over at the man in the bed, thankful he’d survived his heroism and even more thankful he’d have his family to help him get through this next chapter of his life. And he would get through it. Just not with her. “Why don’t I go? I’m sure your sons are anxious to see their brother. I can come back when he’s in his own room.” She turned to leave.

  “Where’d ya think you’re going?” a soft, hoarse voice asked.

  Her breath caught. “You’re awake,” she said, unable to stop herself from grinning at the sight of blue eyes.

  “So are you. You all right?”

  His mother stepped aside, encouraging Grace to move closer, but her feet remained glued to the floor. “I’m not the one who was shot.”

  “Are you all right?” he repeated, his heart rate visibly spiking on the machine. “Mom, get her to come here,” he said, struggling to lift his head.

  Grace rushed to his side. “Hey, stop that. You just had surgery.”

  “Answer the question. Did he hurt you? Grace, I’m sorry. I fucked up.”

  Grace’s eyes shot to the monitor. His heart rate and blood pressure were rising. “Mrs. Danielle,” she said, “should we get the doctor?”

  “Austin, honey, you need to calm down. My friendship with David will only go so far. They’ll kick us out.”

  “No.” He gripped Grace’s wrist far tighter than she’d have thought for a man who was supposed to be sedated. “I’m sorry, Grace. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

  “That’s ridic
ulous,” she said, trying to reassure him as the beeping grew louder. “You need to calm down. I’m fine.”

  “No. It’s my fault. I failed.”

  “Stop saying that.” If he didn’t relax, his blood pressure would go through the roof.

  “I put you at risk. I could’ve lost you. When I saw you on that fucking bed…. Fuck, I’m so stupid,” he said, growing more and more agitated.

  “What’s going on?” Dr. Kalin had returned. “Ladies, sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

  “No.” Austin’s blood pressure spiked.

  They’d knock him out to control his vitals, but the heart-wrenching despair on Austin’s face broke her. Not knowing if it would work, she cupped his face and pressed her mouth to his, and between kisses she whispered anything she could think of to get him to calm down. She told him it wasn’t his fault, that she was fine. And when that didn’t work she called him an asshat. “You put a tracker in my purse?” She nipped his bottom lip. “Women are kind of touchy about their purses.” Then she licked where she’d bitten him. “I’d say you owe me dinner after that…” She kissed his mouth and ran her fingers across his jaw. “Or at the very least, a piece of clothing.” And when the beeping slowed and she heard his mother’s heavy sigh, she kissed him with everything she had. She might not ever be able to tell him she loved him, because those were just words, but in this kiss she hoped to show him what he meant to her… would always mean to her.

  When she pulled away, they were alone. “Guess you scared them off.”