Saving Grace

by J. M. Hill

  I was scared. But, not for the reason he was thinking.

  “You think I’m scared for myself, and that’s not why I’m scared at all.”

  His jaw tensed and a fiery glint flashed behind the green in his eyes.

  “And you’re forgetting a couple of things.” I could tell he was trying to keep his voice calm, but he was also clearly irritated. “First, you’re forgetting that I know you. I am well aware you’re not scared for yourself. I think we all know that. Second, you’re forgetting it was me, and Kate, and my brothers, who watched you almost die.”

  He closed his eyes as if trying to push away the memory. When he opened them again they were no longer fiery, they were anguished.

  “I thought I was going to lose you. I saw you lying on that floor bleeding. I saw what Nina had done.”

  There was an ache in my stomach as I remembered struggling to see Michael in the darkness, wondering if I would ever see him again. I stroked the side of his face with my fingers and he leaned against my hand.

  He sighed. “So, though I may not know exactly how you feel, I think I have a pretty good idea.”

  I rubbed his cheek with my thumb, feeling badly for underestimating his love for me.

  “I’m sorry,” I told him.

  He held my hand to the side of his face and kissed my palm.

  “I know you’re scared, Grace, but we’re going to get through this. They’ll find Nina and everything’s going to be fine.”

  I wanted to believe what he was saying, because I knew he truly believed it. But as I looked at him the anger stirred once again. I thought about how I would’ve felt had it been Michael on the floor of the bookstore. Or Kate. Or Garrett, or Miles, or anyone dear to me. Even though I wished it hadn’t happened at all, I would do it a hundred-times over if it meant keeping Michael and the others safe.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked.

  “I hate her,” I said flatly. “And I hate that I hate her.”

  I waited for him to ask what I was talking about, but he didn’t, he just kept watching me.

  “Because of her everyone’s having to change their lives around, and because of her everyone’s scared and worried. I hate her for that.” I shook my head fighting the sob in my throat. “We’ve found each other, but we can’t just be happy because we have to be worried and scared for each other all the time. Because of her, and I…hate her.”

  Tears came, and I swiped them away angrily.

  “Grace,” Michael said softly. “Every single day since you and Kate first came to our house, and I saw you sitting on the sofa with my big brother, I’ve been happy that I met you.” He smiled as he brushed my hair from my shoulders.

  “Every day we’re together, I’m happy. Even when I was sick with worry over losing you when you were hurt, when I look at you I’m happy. I’m happy because I love you, and I know you love me.” He smiled sweetly. “There’s nothing Nina Sandler, or anyone else, could ever do to take this happiness from me.”

  Another tear escaped my eye and he wiped it away with his thumb.

  “I’ve had hatred for Nina, too,” he said. “But hatred turns to bitterness. And bitterness is ugly, Grace, it is.” “I know.” I shook my head. “That’s why I’m so angry, because I feel that hatred at all. I don’t know how to not hate her, and I hate feeling this way.”

  He held my face in his hands.

  “Grace with all the heartache you’ve had in your life, if anyone could be bitter, it’s you. But you’ve been able to rise above that petty emotion to be the loving, and caring person you are now. You were those things before Nina, and you’re those things now. She hasn’t changed you.”

  “Then why do I feel so much hatred for her?”

  “She did a terrible and vicious thing to you,” he said matter-of-factly. “But don’t you see? With all of her money, fancy cars, and expensive clothes, she is nothing more than a miserable, lonely, bitter girl. She was jealous of you the first time she saw you on my stairs with your wet hair and grungy sweats.” He chuckled at the memory. “You have everything she wants and more. You have people in your life that love you more than their own lives. She wants what you have. Hating her for what she did is not going to affect her, it will only affect you, and I love you too much to let that happen. I’m too happy loving you to let that happen.

  “But until Nina is found, I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you safe. That’s the only thing that matters to me. Keeping you safe.”

  As I listened, there was a sense of awe with his beauty. Not his physical beauty, but the beauty of his character and his heart.

  “What?” Michael smirked. “What are you thinking about now?”

  I shook my head and pressed my lips against his neck again, resting my head there.

  “I just love you,” I whispered. “I love you so much.”

  He sighed and kissed the top of my head. “It’s late. You need to sleep.”

  I lifted my head and he rubbed the dark circles under my eyes gently. I nodded reluctantly, feeling a twinge of panic at the thought of him leaving.

  “Grace,” his voice was quiet “I want to stay here with you…if that’s okay. I know you sleep better when someone’s with you, and I’d rather that someone be me than anyone else.”

  I felt relief wash over me and I took a deep breath.

  “Thank you.”

  I stood from his lap and he smiled as he watched me pull my pink plaid pj’s from the dresser drawer and go into my bathroom, closing the door behind me. As I got ready for bed, I heard several voices outside the door, and then Garrett’s laughter. When I came out Kate was sitting on my bed with her arms folded across her chest and a scowl on her face. I couldn’t tell if she was angry or amused.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Where did Michael go?”

  “Grace Elizabeth Burke,” she said, wagging her head disdainfully.

  I waited for whatever was coming, and something was definitely coming.

  “You think we’re going to allow your boyfriend to sleep over?” Kate shook her finger at me. “Really, Grace. Shame.” I heard Garrett’s chortling from the hallway. I peered around the partially open door to see Garrett, his lips pursed in a tight line, trying not to laugh.

  I grimaced at him. “What are you laughing at?”

  He stepped inside my room. “We’ve had a family meeting, and decided that Michael will be sleeping here tonight.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Is that okay with you?”

  “Ha, ha,” I said dryly. “Maybe you’d prefer to stay again.”

  He shook his head. “No way. You snore.”

  I picked up a small pillow from my bed and whacked him on the arm, but before I could get in another swipe, he had me in a headlock. Kate left giggling down the hallway. Garrett kept me that way, rubbing the top of my head roughly. I heard Michael chuckle, and Garrett let go of me, kissing the top of my head as I blew the hair out of my face. His dimpled grin made me shake my head.

  “Night, Gracie. Love you,” he said, and turned to Michael. “Night, little brother. Good luck trying to sleep with Gracie snoring like a freight train.”

  I lunged at him, and he retreated quickly out my door.

  “I don’t snore,” I pouted.

  Michael laughed. “Of course you don’t. Garrett snores so loud we had to sound-proof his room. We could light firecrackers in his bed and he wouldn’t hear them over his own snoring.”

  Michael walked over to sit in the chair, and I noticed he’d changed into a pair of gray sweats and USC tee shirt. I took pillows off the bed, as he turned on the television and channel-surfed. After I climbed under the covers, I watched him, waiting. He glanced sideways and smiled his crooked grin, and stood to kick off his shoes. I propped pillows against the headboard, and he leaned against them making himself comfortable. I snuggled to him, laying my head on his chest. Kate came into my room holding a folded quilt.

  “In case you get cold, Michael.” She laid the quilt beside hi
m. “Night. Love you both.”

  She turned off the light, and my eyes were instantly heavy.

  I yawned. “Michael, you don’t have to stay all night. You’ll be miserable.”

  He squeezed me to him.

  “How could I possibly be miserable when I’m with you,” he whispered. “Shhh. Go to sleep.”

  My eyes closed, happiness surging through me as I lay there in Michael’s arms, safe and happy.

  After a dreamless night, I awoke to the sound of Michael’s steady breathing, his arm draped over my shoulders. I tried to sit up, but his arm felt like a dead weight too heavy to move. I chuckled quietly, and attempted to wriggle my way free from his hold. His breath hitched, and then continued steadily as I sat upright, pulling my knees to my chest as I gazed at him. His face was peaceful as he slept soundly. I resisted the urge to touch him, not wanting to wake him.

  I got up carefully, and silently pulled the drawers to my dresser open to retrieve my clothes for the day, before going into my bathroom and closing the door quietly. As I showered, I realized that for the first time since my injury, I actually felt somewhat rested. This realization brought a smile to my face as I finished my personal-hygiene rituals. I dressed in jeans and an Avalanche sweatshirt, dried my hair and pulled it into a loose braid and smoothed some Aloe-Vera gel over the cuts on the side of my face.

  When I came out of the bathroom Michael was gone, but Kate was there all smiles, looking adorable as always, making my bed for me.

  “Morning,” she said happily. “You look like you got some sleep.”

  “I did,” I said. “Where’s Michael?”

  “He went home to shower. He’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  After helping her make my bed, we went to the kitchen where Miles was reading the paper at the table.

  “Morning.” He smiled sweetly.

  I kissed his cheek, and went to the stereo turning on a Lenny Kravitz CD to accompany us while we made stuffed French toast, scrambled eggs and bacon. Kate and I sang along with Lenny as he asked “Are you gonna go my way?” making it difficult for Miles to focus on the newspaper because he was laughing.

  Garrett arrived first, poured himself some orange juice and sat down at the table with Miles. Then Michael came in, and when I saw him, the familiar heart-fluttering made me smile. I strode over to him quickly, throwing my arms around his neck.

  “Well, good morning to you, too.” He laughed, hugging me tightly and I sighed, enjoying feeling his arms around me.

  “Good morning,” I said.

  He kissed my forehead tenderly, and then kissed along the scratches on my face before meeting my eyes with a warm smile.

  “You look better,” he said. “How’d you sleep?”

  “No bad dreams,” I told him. “I slept great. What about you?”

  He took both of my hands in his and shrugged. “I slept fine.”

  I eyed him skeptically and he smirked.

  “Well, I’ll admit it wasn’t the most comfortable I’ve ever been.”

  I furrowed my eyebrows at him, feeling badly that he probably hadn’t slept much at all.

  “I’m s—” I started to apologize, but he covered my mouth with his hand, heaving a frustrated sigh.

  “Don’t.” He shook his head. “You make me crazy.”

  I nodded, rolling my eyes and he chuckled. He moved his hand from my mouth, leaning down so he was eye-level with me. “Let’s go eat some breakfast. I’m hungry.”

  He took my hand, pulling me to the kitchen. I poured him some coffee and he sat down in his usual spot while Kate and I put breakfast on the table. We all had a very enjoyable breakfast together, all things considered. Everyone helped do the dishes and we were done quickly, all of us sitting at the table, drinking our coffee when Will and Ava arrived. I scooted away from the table quickly and ran to meet them, hugging Ava’s neck.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” I told her.

  Will held his arms open with a big smile, waiting for me to hug him. I laughed and embraced him tightly. When the greetings were finished, Will and Ava sat down at the kitchen table, and I poured them both a cup of coffee while casual conversation was made about the boys’ business trip to Florida.

  The conversation switched to Nina, and I sipped my coffee uncomfortably while Michael began to fill in Will and Ava about the phone call from the police and the discussion last night. Michael’s arm wound tighter and tighter around my waist as he talked about wanting to leave in order to keep me safe. Ava’s eyes were sad, Will’s concerned, as they listened to their son.

  Will assured the boys that they were doing everything they could, and that unfortunately, until Nina was found we would just have to be patient. Patient and cautious.

  TWENTY-SIX

  Will and Ava were staying at the boy’s house and Garrett stayed on the couch. It was after midnight, and since I really didn’t want to sleep, I turned on “Pride and Prejudice”, and watched as poor Mr. Darcy tried to tell Elizabeth that he loved her ‘most ardently’.

  My cell phone vibrated and I retrieved it from the nightstand quickly and read the text from Michael: Hey.

  I smiled as I responded: Hey, yourself.

  His response was quick: Are you asleep?

  I giggled. Yes. I’m sleep-texting.

  Very funny. Why are you awake?

  Why are you awake?

  I miss you.

  I smiled as I responded: I miss you, too. Aren’t you sleepy?

  Nope. What are you doing?

  Watching Pride and Prejudice.

  Ah, poor Mr. Darcy.

  Would you like to come watch it with me?

  It took a while for his response. I’d better decline that offer.

  I frowned, because I really wanted to be with him. After a moment, he sent another text: Are you pouting?

  How did he know? Yes, are you laughing because I’m pouting?

  Yes. Yes I am.

  “Hmph,” I grumbled as I typed a response. Well if you’re not going to come and watch the movie with me what will you do?

  I’ll just think of you watching the movie in your pink flannel pajamas.

  I rolled my eyes. I’m not wearing the pink flannel pj’s, I’m wearing my grungy sweats and Elway tee-shirt.

  Hm, that’s even better.

  Hah. Okay.

  Good night, my Grace.

  Good night.

  I released a sigh and focused on Mr. Darcy.“…but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you…you have bewitched me body and soul, and I love-I love-I love you. And I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”

  My eyes were heavy, and I looked at the clock—it was after one a.m., but I didn’t want to sleep. I put another movie in the player, and fought sleep as long as I could.

  Muffled voices came from the kitchen and I fought to open my eyes. I wasn’t sure what time it was when I’d finally fallen asleep, but I knew it was after five. I rolled over slowly and groaned, draping my arm over my eyes. I heard a quiet chuckle and sprang up quickly—my heart thudding.

  “I’m sorry.” Michael was sitting in the chair next to my bed, looking half-worried, half amused, and completely gorgeous.

  “Holy crap,” I muttered and flopped back onto my pillow, pulling the covers over my head.

  He laughed. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “Yeah,” I mumbled. “You always say that.”

  He tugged on the covers, but I held them tight.

  “Would you please let me look at you?”

  I could hear the amusement in his voice. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m a mess.”

  “You’re beautiful.”

  “Very funny,” I argued. “How long have you been sitting there?”

  “Um, since about six-thirty.”

  I moved the covers slightly so I could see the clock. He’d been there for almost two hours.


  “Grace,” he pleaded. “C’mon, I want to see your face.”

  He tugged gently on the covers and I relented, letting go and covering my face with my hands. He pulled me by my arms until I was upright. I lowered my hands just below my eyes so I could see him. As usual, he was so stunning it made my heart ache.

  “It’s not fair,” I complained, my words muffled through my hands.

  “What?”

  “That you can look so…good…this early in the morning.”

  He rolled his eyes and pulled me onto his lap. I buried my face in his neck as he rubbed my back softly.

  “Good morning,” he said with a chuckle. “Why don’t you get your shower. Mom’s making breakfast.” I started to get up, but he held onto me, studying my face carefully. “What time did you go to sleep last night?”

  I shrugged, but he narrowed his eyes at me.

  “The last time I looked at the clock it was after five.” I kept my hand over my mouth as I spoke. “I’m not sure exactly.”

  He grimaced and pulled my hand away from my mouth, rubbing underneath my eyes with his thumbs, shaking his head sadly. I stood up, going to my dresser to pull out my clothes for the day, as he walked toward my door.

  He smiled weakly. “I’ll see you out there.”

  I nodded and he pulled the door closed behind him. I started the shower and looked at myself in the mirror.

  Geez.

  Now I was really embarrassed. The scratches on my face were just…ugly. The bruise under my eye was a deep shade of purple, and both eyes were puffy and red.

  “Fright night,” I muttered.

  After my shower, I got dressed in my favorite jeans and a black pull-over. I dried my hair straight, and attempted to cover the circles under my eyes with makeup. This was not easily done. After making my bed and picking up the bathroom, I clasped on my necklace.

  When I came into the hallway Michael was leaning against the wall by my door, smiling his crooked grin as he surveyed my appearance.

  “Hm,” he said thoughtfully.

  “What?” I smoothed my shirt nervously, his gaze causing my heart to pound.

  “I just wonder if I’ll ever look at you and not think you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”