Saving Grace

by J. M. Hill

  I tried to smile. “It’s beautiful. Really. You all did a wonderful job. It’s just—”

  Michael stepped in front of me so he could see my face. “It’s just what?”

  I sighed. “I don’t recognize anything. It’s all different.”

  He pursed his lips together as he watched me carefully. Kate put her arm over my shoulder.

  “I know it’s different, Gracie,” she said sadly. “But you understand that we had to, right?”

  “Of course,” I said. “Really. It’s beautiful. I just have to get used to it, that’s all.”

  She smiled and brushed my hair off my shoulder. “Miles picked the flooring,” she said proudly.

  Miles smiled sweetly. “I did, but Garrett will try and take the credit.” he winked. “You remember, Grace, we can change anything. Just like Michael said. All you have to do is say so.”

  I stepped over to him and kissed his cheek. “No,” I told him. “I think it’s wonderful just the way it is.”

  They really had done a beautiful job. The colors and woodwork were lovely. The shelves of books were organized perfectly, and I could tell Kenny had taken extra care of the place in my absence. I felt a surge of happiness as I slowly began to realize I was back. Back at the place I loved.

  Michael smiled as he watched me. I stood on my toes to wrap my arms around his neck.

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “For what?”

  “For bringing me back here.” I loosened my hold on his neck, but he didn’t release me. His eyes sparkled, and I couldn’t help myself, I pressed my lips to his and kissed him. Fervently and intensely. He responded with the same intensity, and I’d forgotten we weren’t alone.

  Kate cleared her throat delicately and tugged at the hem of my sweater.

  “Gracie, really. Can’t you control yourself?”

  Miles chuckled and pulled her by the hand towards the coffee shop. I turned back to Michael who was still staring at me with the same intense gaze.

  “Sorry,” I said. “I can’t help it.”

  He smirked. “We may have to discuss that issue sometime soon.”

  “What issue?” I asked.

  He smiled his crooked smile and leaned slowly toward me, brushing his lips along my jaw and down the side of my neck and I’m pretty sure my skin caught fire. My breath quickened and he laughed softly by my ear.

  “That issue.” He pulled away quickly, his eyes dark and intense, and smiled widely at me as he took me by the hand. “Let’s go have our coffee.”

  I couldn’t seem to make my brain or my mouth work so I just nodded. We walked to one of the tables where Kenny had our coffees and some muffins waiting. Miles and Kate were already sitting, Kenny had pulled up a chair and the five of us talked for a while. I realized as I sat there, that before the Anderson’s had come into our lives this shop was my happy place, but now I knew.

  Michael was my happy place.

  TWENTY-NINE

  The day went quickly, as Michael and I unloaded several boxes of books that had been waiting on me. I enjoyed going through each box, and since Michael was with me, I enjoyed it even more. By the time four o’clock came, we’d coded and shelved five boxes. Admittedly, we probably would have had them done much sooner, but after each box, Michael would pull me between the shelves of the storeroom and kiss me to death. I loved it.

  As we were leaving for the day, I met Leslie Purcell, our new employee. She was about our age, with blonde hair—cropped short, and big blue eyes.

  “It’s nice to finally meet you, Grace.” Leslie said with a friendly smile. “I feel like I know you already. Kenny has talked about you quite a bit.”

  Kenny waggled his eyebrows wickedly.

  I grimaced at him. “We may have to talk about that later, Leslie, just to make sure Kenny got the facts straight.”

  She laughed and went to help a customer.

  “You’d better behave yourself,” I threatened Kenny. “I may be out of shape, but I can still kick your butt.”

  He laughed and patted my head. “I’d never doubt that for a second. See ya tomorrow.”

  Michael helped me put my coat on, and we started for the door.

  “Hey, Gracie?” Kenny called, and I turned to face him. “I’m glad you’re back.”

  “Me too. Thanks for everything.”

  When we got home Ava was busy preparing dinner. The aroma of Rosemary and roasted chicken filled the house. Garrett greeted me with a huge bear hug and asked about my day. We all sat down to eat, and for the first time in a while tension seemed to be at an all-time low. I was extremely tired, but it was a good tired, and I actually looked forward to going to bed just so I could get up and go back to work again.

  Michael and I did the dishes together, while the others continued their conversation in the living room. I noticed Michael kept watching me, but when I looked at him he would just grin. Finally, I bumped him with my shoulder.

  “What?” I asked.

  He chuckled and shook his head.

  “I’m just proud of you,” he said sliding a plate into the dishwasher.

  “Why? Because I made it through an entire day without having an emotional meltdown?” My tone was derisive, but I knew that probably was his reason for being proud of me.

  “Well, I guess that’s part of it, although I don’t fault you for having emotional meltdowns.” He put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher and then turned to face me.

  “You had a lot to deal with today,” he said. “And you handled it brilliantly. I’m proud of you.”

  “Brilliantly?” I raised an eyebrow. “That’s the word you’d like to use?”

  He seemed to contemplate my question and then nodded. “Yes, I believe that’s the word I’d like to use.”

  I stepped closer to him, and combed my fingers through his hair, and his eyes closed for a moment. “Thank you,” I said. “Thank you for being with me.”

  “You don’t have to thank me for being with you.” He wound his arms around my waist. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  “I’m glad that’s how you feel, especially with the way things have been lately.”

  “What do you mean?”

  I shrugged. “I mean, I’ve been a neurotic, emotional mess for the last few weeks and sometimes I wonder why you don’t just run. Far away.”

  “Why would you say that?” His voice was dejected and angry at the same time.

  “I didn’t mean anything by it,” I replied quickly. “You’ve just been so patient and amazing.”

  His head tilted as I tried to explain my stupid insecurity to him.

  “I feel…badly that you’ve had to deal with so much.” I lowered my eyes, focusing on the buttons of his shirt. Once again, I’d said things when I should’ve kept my mouth shut.

  I waited. I waited for him to say something. The tension grew until I looked up at him and tried to read his expression.

  “With everything I’ve told you,” his voice was stern, but his eyes were soft. “You think there’s anything that could possibly make me want to leave?”

  I swallowed hard as I thought about his question. The thought of him leaving made me sick at my stomach.

  “Grace?” He was impatient as I tried to think of how to answer. “Are you going to answer me?”

  “I know you love me, Michael,” I said quietly. “I don’t doubt that.”

  “But you doubt something, and I want to know what it is.”

  “I don’t doubt anything,” I told him. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me, and I hoped he would just drop the whole thing, but I knew better. Without a word he walked into the living room. I kicked myself mentally over and over. It had been such a great day, and I managed to ruin it with my mouth.

  There was no room on the sofa where Michael sat, so I made myself comfortable on the floor in front of Kate and listened half-heartedly to the conversation.

  It was Garrett’s turn to sl
eep on the sofa, but Will, Ava and Miles said good night. I waited to see if Michael was going to speak to me. He walked slowly toward me and kissed my forehead.

  “Night, Grace,” he said quietly and walked out the door.

  I wanted to run after him and tell him how sorry I was for being such an idiot, but I just stood there, feeling miserable.

  “Night, Gracie,” Kate made her way down the hall to her room.

  I turned to see Garrett clumsily trying to shove sheets onto the sofa which was going to be his bed for the night.

  “Here,” I said taking the sheets from him. “Let me do it.”

  I pulled the pillows from the sofa and tucked the sheets around the cushions tightly.

  “Who makes your bed at home?” I asked him with a smirk.

  He shrugged his massive shoulders. “No one. I kind of just lay on top of everything.”

  I shook my head and he laughed as he watched me fix his make-shift bed.

  “Here ya go, Goliath.” I smirked. “Sleep well.”

  He bent down so I could kiss his cheek and then flopped onto the sofa making me laugh as I made my way to my room. I pulled pajamas from my dresser and turned on the stereo as I passed to the bathroom. Adele was singing “Chasing Pavements” as I went into the bathroom and closed the door while I got ready for bed. I decided to leave the bandages off of my hands for the night. They weren’t bleeding anymore, and I was tired of wearing the stupid things. As I brushed through my hair, the music cut off and I paused with the brush in my hand. After a moment, the familiar vocals of Steve Perry came through singing “Faithfully”.

  Michael was out there waiting for me…

  Half relieved, half anxious, I put my things away quickly and emerged from the bathroom. The lights were all off, except for the twinkle lights, and he was in the chair with his feet crossed on the ottoman, his hands folded behind his head. He looked completely relaxed as his eyes met mine.

  “Hi,” I said quietly.

  He didn’t say anything, he just watched as I climbed onto the middle of my bed and sat down with my legs folded. I waited for him to say something, but he didn’t, so I decided to do some damage-control.

  “I’m so sorry for what I said,” I told him. “I truly didn’t mean anything by it, and I especially didn’t mean to make you angry.”

  I fidgeted nervously, twisting a loose thread on the sleeve of my pajamas around my finger. I could feel his eyes on me. I glanced at him quickly, but he hadn’t moved, so my eyes dropped to the thread on my sleeve again. I felt the bed move, and then he was sitting across from me, his legs folded like mine so our knees touched. The soft glow of the twinkle lights cast a luminosity over his face that was breathtaking.

  “You know,” he said calmly, taking my hands in his. “You’re still just as stubborn and frustrating as you were before I told you how much I loved you.”

  I wasn’t sure what he was getting at, but so far I was a little irritated at being called stubborn, especially by him. But I held my tongue and waited for him to finish.

  “I’m not sure why I thought that would change.” He sighed. “Nor am I sure I’d want it to change, but—”

  Always with the ‘but’…

  “Why it would ever enter your mind that I would leave because of the way things have been…that’s what hurts.”

  I swallowed hard. I’d hurt him and the remorse I felt was painful.

  “Michael,” I said. “I’m so, so sorry—I”

  He covered my mouth with his hand, shaking his head. “Don’t,” he said sternly. “Just…don’t.”

  I nodded weakly and he removed his hand.

  “You’ve been through so much, Grace, and I’ve watched you. I’ve watched you go through the physical pain, and the emotional distress.” His eyes were pained as he spoke. “But through all of it, never once has it ever entered my mind to leave you.”

  He traced over the cuts on my palms softly with his finger, and I felt ashamed.

  “This may surprise you,” he said. “But as I’ve watched you go through this hell, my love for you has grown into something more.”

  His eyes were full of emotion.

  “When I first saw you, I thought you were beautiful, physically beautiful, which of course you are.” He smiled that crooked smile, and I flushed. “As a man, I was physically attracted to you. But, when I got to know you, I saw how beautiful you are on the inside. Your goodness, your sense of humor, your generosity and thoughtfulness. You are completely and in every sense of the word…beautiful.

  “And now, I know your strength,” he said shaking his head. “With all of this tragedy, I’ve witnessed your strength, and the love I had for you in the beginning is small in comparison to the love I have now. And that’s the wonderful thing about love, Grace, it just grows and grows.”

  He chuckled softly. “I’m not sure how I could possibly love you more than I do, but I know I will and that makes me so happy.” His brows creased together, and he put his hands on either side of my face. “That’s why I never want you to even joke about me leaving you.” His voice was full of intensity and made my heart pound. “The thought of leaving you,” he closed his eyes, “I can’t even think about it without my heart feeling like it will rip into pieces. Please don’t ever say that again.”

  My apology stuck in my throat. He’d said I apologized for everything. Maybe I did, but I had to make this right.

  “You’re dying to say you’re sorry aren’t you.” He raised an eyebrow. “It’s going to drive you crazy.” When I didn’t say anything, he chuckled. “Well, go ahead.”

  I threw my arms around his neck and tears came to my eyes.

  “I’m so sorry,” I told him. “I’ll never say that again. I promise. “I just kept babbling like an idiot, and he held me tightly stroking my hair. “You’re right,” I confessed—keeping my face burrowed against his neck. “I guess somewhere in my mind, I was afraid. Afraid all of this might be too much, and you would want to leave. Everything you said, I feel the same way. Please believe me.”

  He squeezed me tightly as I spoke.

  “I do believe you,” he said quietly. “But we’re going to get through all of this, and I’m not going anywhere. I can’t. I won’t.”

  I looked at him then, and his eyes were soft.

  “I forgive you.” He smiled softly and wiped under my eyes with his thumbs. “And I love you more than you’ll ever be able to understand.”

  “I love you, too, Michael.”

  He leaned closer to me and touched his lips to mine, kissing and brushing over my mouth until I thought my heart would explode. I wound my fingers into his hair and he whispered my name against my lips. The thundering in my chest increased as our kiss intensified, and he pulled away with a smile.

  “I think you’d better get some sleep.”

  My head was still swirling from his kiss. I’d never been drunk before, but I was pretty sure it felt like this, and I couldn’t help but feel a little irritated at him. Why did he always get me all over-heated and then find it funny? I decided one argument was enough for the day.

  I rubbed my face and pulled the pillows off the bed. Michael picked up one of my prescription bottles and shook a pill into his hand.

  “I don’t want to take that tonight,” I told him quickly.

  He froze and his forehead creased. “Why not?”

  “Because, it made me feel terrible this morning,” I said. “And I don’t think I need it anyway.”

  “Why don’t you think you need it?” His tone was irritated.

  I shrugged. “Because I’m tired enough, and I just don’t think I’ll need it.”

  “Grace,” he said calmly. “Please don’t be stubborn about this. I can’t bear thinking about you having any more nightmares, or whatever they are, I don’t want you hurt anymore. Please just take it. For me.”

  I pursed my lips together tightly wanting to argue with him. But, again, one argument for the day was enough.

  Crap.


  I held out my hand, defeated, and he placed the pill in my palm and handed me a bottle of water. I swallowed it obediently, and he smirked the whole time, which made me want to smack him, or just really kiss him. I climbed into bed and he covered me with my blankets, stroking my hair as he knelt by the side of my bed.

  “Won’t you stay?” I asked.

  “Just until you fall asleep.”

  “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want,” I told him. “I’ll be asleep in about thirty seconds anyway.”

  He rolled his eyes. “You have no idea.” He traced his fingers around my eyes and down the side of my face, my skin tingling every place he touched.

  “No idea about what?”

  “You have no idea how much I want to stay.”

  “So stay.” It seemed simple enough to me, but his expression was telling me otherwise. My eyes began to get heavy as he leaned to my ear.

  “Sleep well, my Grace,” his breath was hot against my skin, and I shivered.

  “Night, Michael.” My words were garbled as I felt sleep taking over. “I love you…more.”

  THIRTY

  The following two weeks were fairly uneventful, and it was wonderful. I was finally into my regular routine. Michael and I had even started running again, which I’d missed so much. It was slow, very slow at first, but I loved it. I’m pretty sure Michael enjoyed the fact he had to slow down for me instead of the way it used to be, but he’d never admit that. I didn’t have to take sleep meds any more. Dr. Murphy said I was doing well, but I should keep the pills close just in case.

  Miles and Michael accompanied Kate and I to work every day. Garrett, Will and Ava would come see us at the shop frequently, and it was just like at home. All of us together having a great time. Miles did quite a bit of work from home, and Garrett would take Will with him to check on the jobs in Denver. Michael didn’t have much to do yet, but there were things coming up that he’d start working on soon.

  As smoothly as things seemed to be going, we all knew Nina was still out there. Nobody ever mentioned her name, but I waited every day for some kind of word from the police department saying they had her in custody. So far the call hadn’t come.