Still Yours

by Cara Roman

  After pulling on one of her Caffeinated Sprinkles logo shirts, and a pair of jeans that had a rip in her left knee she called it good enough. Shutting the bedroom light off she walked out into the kitchen to feed and water Finn. Her cell phone was still in her purse sitting on the counter where she dropped it yesterday when she got home from Ridge's. Sighing she opened her bag and pulled it out. There were at least a dozen notifications. Her Mom had called her, Dani sent a text, and the rest of them were from Ridge. He had called and texted numerous times.

  I know what you're thinking, I'm coming back.

  I wouldn't be going if I didn't have to.

  I'm heading to the airport now.

  I'll let you know when I land.

  I made it safe.

  Leigha, baby?

  Are you OK?

  This isn't the end.

  I promise you Leigha.

  Damn it, I promise!

  Leigha stood there at the counter scanning through all of the texts. Shaking her head she set the phone down and struggled not to let the tears burning her eyes fall. A few deep breaths, and it was under control, the tears locked away. For now. As she was sliding the phone back into her purse another text came buzzing through.

  Have a good day at work Sugar.

  Leigha powered the phone off and set it on the counter instead of inside her purse. She was not about to hear it buzzing and torturing her all day. There was nothing she had to say to Ridge. Nothing she could say. He was living his life, and so was she. Her life just happened to be a few hundred miles away from the epicenter of his. That's all really, it was quite simple. Telling Finn goodbye she walked out the door to the garage.

  By the time Dani walked in, she had everything turned on and was grinding the coffee beans. Closing her eyes she let the rich smell wash through her. It didn't erase the reality of her situation, but it couldn't hurt either. Grabbing the elastic off her wrist she threw her hair back in a pony tail now that it was dry. Before she had a chance to call out and ask what the special cookies were today Dani popped her head out of the kitchen and let her know.

  "Pecan pie bars, and white chocolate key lime cookies today." Dani said. "How was the rest of your weekend?"

  Leigha took a moment to write the cookies on the chalk board. "Ridge got a phone call and had to fly back to Nashville yesterday afternoon." She finally said.

  "Damn, I'm sorry honey. How long until he comes back home?" Dani asked.

  "He said a few days." Leigha answered.

  "I guess he will be doing a lot of flying back and forth."

  "Probably." Leigha said, but she didn't really believe it herself. "How was your Sunday?" She said changing the subject.

  "Not too bad. Silas talked all day long about Ridge and Boomer, I mean that, literally all day. I'm not even exaggerating. We had to go to the store too, he outgrew a bunch of clothes, again." Dani said shaking her head.

  "Tell him to slow down, he is growing damn too fast." Leigha said with a genuine smile.

  "Believe me, I've tried, it doesn't seem to work." Dani laughed before heading back into the kitchen.

  Leigha breathed a sigh of relief. She just didn't feel like talking about how shitty she felt right now, not even with her best friend. By the time they opened for the day Leigha was ready for the distraction of customers. Mrs. Bowman came in like always, and held court at her usual table in front of the window. Leigha kept busy straightening things, and cleaning up whenever she wasn't making coffees. Tina came in just as Mrs. Bowman was leaving for the day, yelling out a goodbye to Leigha as she walked out the door.

  "Have you been listening to the radio today?" Tina asked, her eyes alight with excitement.

  "Nope." Leigha said shrugging.

  "They're saying Ridge is back working on a new album in Nashville. When did he leave?" She asked pulling on her apron.

  "He flew down yesterday." Leigha said.

  "Its been like two years since he released anything new. I'm pretty excited for a new album." Tina said with a little dance.

  Leigha just nodded her head. "Its been pretty slow in here today, I'm going to head back to the office for a bit. Just give me a shout if it gets too busy, alright?"

  "Yeah, no problem. I got this." Tina said before turning to greet the customer walking in the door.

  She left the door to her office open so she could hear if Tina needed her, even though what she really wanted to do was close it and hide away. She spent the next few hours going over the supply lists, accounts, and all of the other boring responsibilities she had to deal with as a business owner. Caught up in the normal monotony of spreadsheets she could forget about Ridge for just a little while, and how much she missed him already.

  When Dani stuck her head in to let her know she was leaving for the day Leigha looked at the clock in the corner of her computer screen and realized she spent longer in her office than she planned to. Standing up from her desk she followed Dani out front. Tina was wiping down the counter, and the place was completely empty of customers. They didn't close for another half hour, but Tina was getting a start on the cleaning since she clearly had the time. Leigha looked around at the gleaming machines and was quite impressed. Tina had handled it all beautifully.

  "You didn't need any help?" She asked after saying goodbye to Dani.

  "Nah, I've been here long enough now that I've got it all handled." Tina said with a shrug.

  "I guess so. Great job today. You can go on home now, I'll finish the cleaning up." Leigha told her.

  Tina smiled, and took off her apron, hanging it up on the designated hook. After she was gone Leigha looked around. This place was her dream, but it clearly could survive a day without her. Bittersweet feelings flowed through her. On one hand she felt a little useless, but on the other she was so damn proud that her baby didn't need her anymore.

  By the time she flipped the open sign over to closed there wasn't much left for her to do other than shut down the cash register and take the deposit to the bank. Walking in with the pouch of money she felt like she was in her own little world. People were talking, and laughing as they shared bits of gossip, and she just didn't have it in her today to even pretend like she cared. The bank teller asked her what was wrong, and she stared at the woman for a full thirty seconds before the question filtered in.

  "Oh, I've got a massive headache today." The lie tasted like bitter ashes on her tongue.

  "Good thing you're heading home for the day, huh?"

  This teller was newer, hadn't worked there before she left. Although Leigha saw her in here all the time, she had never bothered to learn her name. Glancing at her name tag pinned onto her shirt Leigha replied, "Basically. Thanks Ashley, have a good day." Ashley the teller smiled at her, missing that Leigha had no clue who she was until she read her name.

  At home she sat on her couch and tried to distract herself by watching some television with Finn. She wasn't feeling very hungry, but since she hadn't eaten anything since the pancakes with Ridge she made herself a grilled cheese sandwich. Finally she couldn't take it anymore, and after rinsing her dishes and putting them in the dishwasher she walked over to where her phone sat on the counter. It was powered off, but it was still screaming silently at her all the same. Picking it up she turned it on and watched the screen start glowing. The notifications started piling up on the screen as soon as it was on. Her Mom had called again, and Ridge was persistent.

  Letting her Mom worry about her wasn't something Leigha wanted to do, so she shot her Mom a text. Letting her know that she had left her phone at home all day, to ward off another call. Her Mom replied back letting her know she was coming in to the shop to see her tomorrow afternoon. Leigha told her she would see her then, and sent her all her love.

  She scanned through the messages from Ridge. Most of them were the about the same as the ones he left yesterday. But the last few she could tell he was getting pissed.

  Damn it, Leigha! Don't do this.

  You're not backing away from u
s. What we have isn't going away.

  She wasn't going to reply, but her thumbs were tapping out a message before she thought better of it.

  I'm just protecting my heart Ridge.

  She hit send. His reply came back immediately. She could almost see him, phone in hand, staring at the screen fuming while he waited impatiently for her to reply.

  I told you I wouldn't break it again. You don't believe me yet. But you'll see.

  Leigha set her phone back down. She didn't have anything to say to that. Ridge was still in Nashville, and he could say what he wanted, but that didn't mean it was how it was going to go. After all, he had good intentions to come back for her the first time too, but he never did.

  Chapter 18

  Time was dragging by excruciatingly slow, and missing with Ridge had become the new normal for Leigha. After a few days he stopped trying to text or call her, and she swung back and forth between relief and annoyance. Every time her phone buzzed she snatched it up in a silent panic that it was Ridge. She could admit that it was crazy that she wanted him to call, even though she wasn't picking the phone up when he did. She even found herself listening to his music while she laid in bed late at night. Hoping it would fill the all the spaces inside of her that Ridge being gone had left gaping wide open again. Last time she had completely avoided all of his songs, going so far as to change the radio station when they came on. Now she had every single one of his albums downloaded in the library on her phone. His voice floating through the darkness in her bedroom while she curled up with Finn brought her more comfort than she would have expected. It was as if there was a tangible piece of him still there with her.

  Leigha felt like she had a whole new insight into who Ridge was now too. He wrote every single one of his songs, she knew that because she had checked online. She could hear his loneliness, and it called out to the echoing emptiness inside of her afraid that what they had was gone again. His raw anger at the mistakes he knew he was making but couldn't seem to stop himself. Ridge tapped into some of the deepest, most honest parts of himself when writing, and it stunned her as much as it helped her. A few songs she couldn't help but wonder if they were written about her. Even though it felt a tad narcissistic to assume that, but he sang a lot about melting chocolate eyes. His ex-wife had very pretty sky blue eyes. She couldn't help but wonder what that had felt like for her, having a husband who was singing about another woman's eyes. There was no way to miss it. Of course songs weren't always about real life experiences. But sometimes they were. After all he did tell her that he would lay next to his wife at night and think of her instead.

  After what felt like one of the longest weeks in recorded history Leigha couldn't stop herself and searched the gossip sights for news on what Ridge was up to down in Nashville. He was keeping a fairly low profile though, and the paparazzi had gotten tired of taking pictures of him entering or exiting his record label. It was just too mundane. He wasn't hanging out at bars, he wasn't spotted with a new love hanging onto his arm, so he just wasn't worth it to them. People wanted scandal, and excitement when they read about celebrities. There were plenty of other musicians down there living it up, and giving them juicy gossip to chase after, and exploit. At first the rumor mill was churning overtime speculating that Ridge was back in town for another chance with Suzy, but when nobody managed to catch them together the excitement died down before it had really even gotten much of a chance to start.

  At work Dani had figured out that Leigha was doubting Ridge was coming back, and clearly didn't agree with her. "I'm telling you, I saw the way he looked at you, that man has got it bad. He'll be back." Dani said reassuringly.

  "I thought that the last time he left here though, and look how that played out. Damn it, Dani, I don't want to always be the woman he leaves holding her heart in her hand." Leigha said with a sigh. "Loving Ridge has never been easy."

  "Loving another person is never easy Leigha. Love is complicated, messy, and sometimes it guts you so deep that you don't think you'll ever be able to draw a full breath into your lungs without pain again. Ridge is not the same selfish kid with an impossible dream who left here. He is a grown man who knows exactly what he would be losing out on by letting you go this time. I know he broke your heart, hell honey, I had a front row seat to the destruction in all its terrible glory. But I also know that since he walked back into town you have been happier than I've ever seen. He had you fucking glowing from the inside out. When a man lights your soul on fire like that you'd be a damn fool to let him go." Dani said pulling another batch of deliciously fragrant sugar cookies out of the massive oven.

  "I'm not just letting him go. He left Dani." Leigha snatched a hot cookie off the sheet, tossing it gently back and forth on the tips of her fingers while it cooled.

  "For work, he has a pretty demanding job, you know. And he has every intention of coming back, he told you that, a few times. If you're not willing to believe in him, and stick by him, then you shouldn't be with him at all. He may not be perfect, but Ridge is a good man, and not everyone is lucky enough to find one of those for their own. Stop thinking so damn much about what could go wrong, or why you think it shouldn't work. If you won't listen to your own heart, then follow his. Because I can promise you that it will lead the way home. Now get your mopey ass out of my kitchen, I've got work to do. And stop stealing my cookies before they're frosted." Dani said annoyed, and clearly dismissing her.

  Leigha spent the rest of the day mulling over what Dani had said. Her friend wasn't usually so blunt about things, and she gave her some space for awhile to cool off. Leigha felt selfish as hell complaining about her broken heart when Dani had her own troubles. Was she just being a coward? Breaking her own heart before Ridge even got the chance to mess everything up? That wasn't her intention, but she could admit she didn't take it very well when he told her he had to go out of town. It felt like the brick wall she had been so sure was coming all along, had popped up to surprise her, and she was running away as fast as she could to avoid colliding with it. But her feelings were moving so fast that there really was no way to pull over and avoid a crash. It was either going to work out, or she was going to be crushed. Her heart wasn't as untouchable as she thought, locked away somewhere safe from Ridge's grasp. Nope.

  Even her Mom thought she was being a fool. Thinking about their conversation last night on the phone when her Mom had even suggested that if Ridge wasn't back soon Leigha should just pop down there and see what the hold up was. Don't let him get away from you again Leigha, a love like that doesn't happen often. You've got a second chance, hold on to it with all you've got. Her Mom had said. Like it was just as easy as that. She had a business to help run, and he would think she had lost her damn mind showing up on his doorstep like that. Not that she even knew where that doorstep actually was, and she couldn't wander around town asking people either. They would definitely think she was some crazed stalker or something. Shaking her head, no she couldn't do that. Although getting her hands on him again might be worth all the trouble. Her whole body ached for that man, and she felt every single minute of the week he was gone.

  Leigha was wiping up the already spotless counter with a rag for the millionth time when the kitchen door swung open. Dani walked out carrying a tray loaded down with the finished sugar cookies. They were covered in pale mint green frosting with a lovely CS piped in the center in navy blue.

  "Those are really cute Dani. Our colors, and our name." Leigha said, the first genuine smile in days breaking across her face, looking like the sun trying to escape out from behind the clouds.

  "Thanks. They taste as good as they look too. I was thinking it might be nice to incorporate our logo more. Silas asked me last night when he was getting a Caffeinated Sprinkles shirt of his own, and it got my head going." Dani replied as she expertly stacked the scrumptious cookies in the display case. "Maybe we could put up a little stand over there with some shirts, and maybe aprons for sale."

  "Yes! I really like that idea!
Ooooo! Why don't we do some ceramic travel mugs too?" Leigha said getting excited about the possibilities. "And I'm sorry for being a idiot." She added leaning her head on her best friend's shoulder.

  "I'm sorry for snapping at you. I'm just afraid that you're getting in the way of your own happiness, and it pisses me off because you deserve so much better." Dani said wrapping her arm around Leigha's shoulder.

  "What would I do without you smacking some sense into me when I need it?" Leigha said with a laugh.

  "Oh god!" Dani said with mock horror. "I really hope we never find out." She added with a laugh. "I'm glad you like the souvenir idea."

  "We could call it Caffeinated Sprinkles To-Go. Put a little sign on top of the display. Magnets might be a good one too. With our phone number on it so everyone can call orders in." Leigha added. "I'm going to run some numbers tonight, see what I can come up with."

  "Excellent!" Dani said giving Leigha one last squeeze before she headed back into the kitchen.

  The logo cookies were flying off the shelf all day. Everyone wanted one with their coffee, even people who normal didn't end up buying cookies. When Dani came back out of the kitchen and saw how many of them were gone Leigha suggested it might be a good idea to make them one of their regular cookie choices. Things were definitely looking up, and Leigha decided if Ridge called her again she was going to pick the damn phone up. No more holding it in her hand staring while his name flashed across the screen. No more hiding from what was happening between them.