Love, Like Ghosts: A Bay City Paranormal Investigations Story

by Ally Blue

  Resentment kindled in Adrian’s gut. Years of practice kept it off his face. “I was able to establish communication with him easily enough that way. I’ve done it that way before too. Entities have always been attracted to my abilities. You’re the same way, you’ve said so yourself.”

  “Yes, that’s true. Ghosts and other paranormal entities have always been drawn to me. Whether because of my psychokinesis or my other psychic abilities, who knows. Those abilities seem to be linked in you and me both.” Sam set his mug on the table, his fingers still curled around the handle. “But your psychokinesis is several orders of magnitude stronger than mine. You were forced to exercise a level of control at an early age that I don’t have to use even now. When you have to build up such a strong subconscious control over something like that, of course it’s going to be more difficult for you to let go of that control. But it sounds to me like this spirit of yours has given all he’s going to give, or all he can give, in the situation the way it stands now. If you want to break through the barrier you’ve reached with him, you’re going to have to work on letting go. Letting down all your shields, and letting him into your mind completely.” Sam’s gaze sharpened. “Either that, or let this one go.”

  Adrian swallowed hard. The idea of relinquishing even a little bit of the control he’d worked so hard to achieve terrified him. What would happen if he couldn’t get it all back? What happened if something angered him while his guard was down? Even worse, what if repeatedly loosening his grip on his powers meant they slipped away from him while he and Greg were making love? Christ, he’d never forgive himself if his need to help Lyndon ended up hurting Greg.

  Maybe you should give up.

  He shook off the thought before it could take hold. He wouldn’t give up. Couldn’t. Leaving Lyndon to the mournful twilight existence he’d suffered for over a century wasn’t an option.

  He gripped his mug until his knuckles paled. “It’s the only way?”

  “Well, obviously you know this ghost better than I do. But from what little you’ve told me, it sounds like it.” Sam laid a hand on Adrian’s arm. “Can I give you one more piece of advice?”

  “Sure.” Adrian forced an anemic smile. “I can use as much as I can get.”

  One corner of Sam’s mouth hitched upward. He dropped his hand, lifted his mug and sipped from it. “Tell Greg about this.”

  Astonishment made Adrian’s pulse speed up. “Um. What?”

  Sam snorted. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. You haven’t told Greg about this ghost hunt of yours.”

  Shit. Adrian hunched his shoulders and studied the scratch on the wooden table. “What makes you say that?”

  “Other than the fact that it’s true? Because if Greg already knew about it, you would’ve asked this question last night, when we were talking about Bay City Paranormal and Greg was asking a million questions.”

  Adrian let out a humorless laugh. “He doesn’t believe in ghosts. In fact, he’s pretty disapproving of the whole ghost-hunting business. I still can’t believe he was asking all those questions.”

  “He didn’t seem very disapproving. In fact, he seemed pretty interested.”

  “Yeah, well, he’s never been very interested when it was me talking about it.” Adrian couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice. Sam chuckled, and Adrian shot him a glare. “I don’t see what’s so funny.”

  Sam smiled. “Did you ever consider that maybe he’s jealous of your time? That maybe he sees how much interest you show in this subject, and he’s afraid it’s something that might take you away from him?”

  Adrian blinked. He’d never considered that before. Not that it made any difference, when the result of telling Greg his secret would be the same, but still. It certainly put Greg’s attitudes at school versus last night in perspective.

  “Yeah,” Adrian said, sounding as surprised as he felt. “I can see that.”

  “Good.” Sam regarded him with a solemn expression. “I know why you don’t want to tell him, Adrian. You’re afraid he’s going to be angry. And you’re probably right. But you need to do it, soon, before he finds out some other way and the fact that you kept it from him causes trouble you can’t fix.”

  Something in Sam’s eyes spoke of hard experience, and Adrian knew with gut-wrenching certainty that Sam was right.

  The question was, could he do it? Could he look Greg in the eye and tell him the truth, knowing it might mean the end?

  “I can’t.” The words came out in a barely audible whisper. Adrian stared into Sam’s eyes, pleading with him to understand. “Not yet.”

  Sam nodded, but his expression was sad. Rising to his feet, he clapped Adrian on the shoulder. “Think it over, okay?”

  Adrian nodded as Sam gathered the coffee mugs and carried them to the sink, but he knew he wasn’t going to think about it. He wouldn’t tell Greg.

  Oh, my God. I just lied to Sam. Even though he hadn’t spoken, even though he wasn’t even sure Sam had seen him nod, even though Sam was probably well aware of what Adrian was and was not going to do with regard to telling Greg the truth about Lyndon. It didn’t matter. Ever since that night at his mother’s house when he was eleven, he’d never told a direct, deliberate lie.

  Until now.

  Pushing back his chair, Adrian hurried from the room as fast as he could and stumbled out onto the front porch. He leaned against the railing and gulped the icy winter air until he no longer felt the urge to vomit.

  ~ * ~

  At least a dozen times over the next twenty-five days, Adrian almost talked himself into telling Greg. But he never did. Greg would push him against the wall and kiss him breathless, or laugh at one of Sean’s corny jokes, or simply flash the smile that always made Adrian’s knees weak, and somehow he just never got past the “thinking about it” stage.

  Adrian snorted. Yeah, sure. “Somehow.” Don’t bullshit yourself, Adrian. You were right before. You told Sam you’d think about telling Greg, but you knew damn well you wouldn’t.

  “Did you say something, son?”

  Adrian turned and smiled at his father, who’d just entered the dining room through the adjoining kitchen door. “No. Just laughing at myself.”

  “Oh. Okay.” Setting the pile of napkins he carried in the middle of the table, Adrian’s dad planted both hands on his hips and studied the room with a critical eye. “Well, I guess there’s nothing else we can do here until Sam gets home with dinner. When’s Greg getting back from shopping?”

  “He said Maia would be dropping him off around six.” Adrian glanced at his watch. “It’s almost five forty-five now, so he should be here soon.”

  “All right.” Dad wandered into the living room, with Adrian trailing after him. “I’m really glad the two of them hit it off so well.”

  “Me too.” Adrian plopped into his favorite chair, kicked his sneakers off and curled his legs beneath him. “He hit it off with all of you, right from the start. I can’t tell you what a relief that was.”

  One dark brow lifted. “For you or for him?”

  Adrian grinned. “For both of us.”

  Laughing, his father sank onto the sofa next to Adrian’s chair. “He’s a wonderful young man, Adrian. I’m glad you found each other.”

  Adrian nodded his thanks. Though they’d never said so—except for Sean, who’d said so a lot—he knew his family used to worry about him being alone. They’d all been happy when he started dating Greg. He knew all of them had to be as thrilled as he was that Greg liked them, and that the feeling was mutual.

  His dad leaned forward, elbows on his knees and a serious expression on his face. “You two seem pretty serious, though. I hope…” He paused, as if searching for the right words.

  Adrian’s stomach churned with a sudden attack of nerves. That sober look in his dad’s eyes never preceded anything he wanted to hear. “What?”

  A pensive smile curved his father’s lips. “I just don’t want to see you getting too ser
ious too fast and end up getting hurt. That’s all.”

  Adrian squelched the swell of indignation inside him before it could make him say anything he’d regret later. He just had to remember that anything his dad said came from a desire to protect him.

  “Don’t worry, Dad. I’ll be careful.” Adrian picked at the place where the cuff of his sweater sleeve had begun to fray. He studied the dark blue threads so he wouldn’t have to look his father in the eye. “I care about Greg. A lot. And I want this thing with him to last. But I know we’re still young, and I know how different we are. I’m trying not to count on anything.”

  “Oh. Son.”

  The quiet heartbreak in his father’s voice brought Adrian’s head up again. “What? What’s wrong?”

  His father shook his head, dark eyes sorrowful. “You’ve gotten so used to being alone, you think that’s how it has to be. Sometimes I think you actually believe you deserve to be alone. But you don’t. You’re such a loving, wonderful person, Adrian. You deserve to have someone special love and cherish you. And if Greg turns out to be that person, then I’ll be happy for you both.” Leaning forward, he took one of Adrian’s hands in both of his and gazed straight into his eyes. “When you decide to let someone into your heart, you don’t do it by halves. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I just don’t want you to get hurt if Greg’s feelings wane over time and yours don’t.”

  Adrian’s heart lurched. His father was right, and he knew it. Had known it since the beginning. Hadn’t he been waiting for the end—preparing for it, steeling himself for it—ever since his first date with Greg? Of course, he’d expected to bring it on himself via some subconscious sabotage. As time went on and their relationship became a part of his day-to-day life, the expectation of disaster had drifted to the back of his mind. But it still waited there, lurking like a spider. Maybe it was time to learn precisely where he and Greg stood now, and whether or not they had a future together.

  He opened his mouth to answer his dad—though what he would say, he had no idea—but the sound of a car pulling into the drive stopped him. His father shot a swift glance at the front door, then pinned him with a fierce stare. “You deserve to be happy, Adrian. Don’t ever let anything stop you from fighting for your happiness. Remember that.”

  Footsteps sounded on the front porch. Jumping to his feet, Dad pressed Adrian’s hand once before letting go and hurrying over to open the door. Adrian stood and turned in time to see his dad greet Sam with a tender kiss and take two of the three fragrant paper sacks he carried.

  Adrian flashed a quick smile and started toward the door to close it while his dad and Sam walked into the dining room. Almost a month after his miniscule lie, Adrian still had trouble looking Sam in the eye sometimes, even though he was now positive Sam knew perfectly well he’d been less than truthful. Sometimes Adrian wished he could tell little white lies like normal people without it twisting his gut into knots.

  Before Adrian could take more than two steps, Greg walked in behind Sam, arms laden with bags from the mall. His gaze caught Adrian’s, and his face lit up like the twinkling white lights on the Christmas tree still standing in the living room’s big bay window.

  Adrian’s breath caught. Thoughts of his sins, major and minor, flew out of his head. Crossing the room in a few swift strides, he cupped Greg’s face in his hands and pressed a soft, chaste kiss to his lips.

  Greg let out an almost soundless gasp. The bags thudded to the floor. Adrian could practically taste Greg’s shock, and no wonder. Public affection still made Adrian uncomfortable. Until now, the most he’d done in front of his family was hold Greg’s hand. This kiss must be as big a surprise as a public groping would be to anyone else.

  When he drew back a few long, glorious seconds later, Greg stared up at him with glazed eyes. “Wow. What was that for?”

  “Because I wanted to.” Adrian glanced over his shoulder, where his father and Sam were busy setting the food out on the table and ignoring Adrian and Greg so pointedly that the attempt at giving them a little privacy was obvious. “Because if I can’t be affectionate with my boyfriend in front of my own family, then I’m a completely hopeless case, and I don’t want to be a hopeless case.”

  Greg’s mouth curved into the sweet, open smile that always made Adrian ache inside. “C’mon, let’s go eat. Whatever Sam had in those bags, it smelled absolutely out of this world.”

  They linked hands and walked into the dining room together. Adrian didn’t mind Greg’s lack of effusive thanks for what was, for Adrian, a tremendous public expression of his feelings. Greg might not have Adrian’s directness with words, but Adrian had learned long ago to read even the subtlest nuances of Greg’s moods in his expressive eyes. Right now, there was nothing subtle about the grateful joy shining there.

  Adrian hoped a discussion about where their relationship was headed wouldn’t quench that light. If he even had the balls to start it.

  ~ * ~

  That night, Greg clamped his legs tight around Adrian’s waist and stifled his soft cry in the curve of Adrian’s neck when he came. The rhythmic clenching of his ass wrenched Adrian’s release from him a moment later. He screwed his eyes shut and whimpered into Greg’s hair as the orgasm tore through him. The window rattled faintly in its frame, and the tiny still-rational corner of Adrian’s brain hoped that if Greg noticed, he’d think it was the wind.

  When his tremors subsided and Greg’s feet slid off his back, Adrian reached between them and held onto the condom while he eased his limp cock carefully out of Greg’s hole. He reached up to drop the used rubber into the plastic bag on his headboard, then collapsed onto his side and hauled Greg into his arms. “Wow.”

  Greg laughed, his breath soft and warm against Adrian’s lips. “You said it.” He slung a leg over Adrian’s hips, buried a hand in his hair and planted a kiss on his mouth. “I kind of wish we didn’t have to go back tomorrow. This bed is way better than the one in your apartment.”

  “And let’s not even talk about the bed in your dorm room.”

  “Oh, my God.” Greg snuggled closer, grinning. “I think the only reason those damn things exist is to discourage students from having sex in the dorms.”

  “I think you’re right.” Adrian brushed the damp hair from Greg’s brow. “I’m really glad you got to come home with me, Greg.”

  “So am I. Your family’s terrific.” Greg ran his fingertips over the line of Adrian’s jaw. “Besides, I would’ve missed you too damn much if we’d been apart for a whole month.”

  The tender shine in Greg’s eyes made Adrian’s throat feel raw and tight. Resting their foreheads together, he wound both arms around Greg’s waist and splayed his open palms flat on Greg’s bare back. “Me too,” he whispered, his voice rough with all the things he didn’t quite know how to express.

  Frowning, Greg drew back enough to look into Adrian’s eyes. “Adrian, is something wrong?”

  Adrian’s pulse tripped, stumbled and resumed its rhythm in double time. He licked his lips. “Wrong?”

  “Yeah. You’ve been a little off ever since I got home tonight. Like something was bothering you.” Greg stroked a hand through Adrian’s hair in what Adrian suspected was an entirely subconscious gesture of comfort. “Look, I know I’m not very good at talking about stuff, but if there’s ever anything you want to talk to me about, you know you can. Right?”

  And there’s your perfect segue. Adrian’s heart slammed against his sternum. Confronted with the opportunity to actually talk to Greg about their relationship, Adrian wasn’t sure he could do it.

  “It’s just something my dad said earlier.” Adrian drew Greg closer and kissed a droplet of sweat from his forehead. This would be so much easier to say if he didn’t have to look Greg in the eye while he said it. “He told me how much he and Sam liked you, and how glad they are that we got together, but he was worried that maybe we were getting a little too serious too fast.”

  Greg’s hand stilled at the back of Adrian’s
neck. He didn’t say anything in response to Adrian’s confession. A cold, sick feeling curled in the pit of Adrian’s stomach. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected Greg to do, but lying there in awkward silence wasn’t it. What did it mean?

  God, maybe he thinks I want to break up with him.

  Adrian rubbed his cheek against Greg’s. “I am serious about you. Very much so. But I don’t think it’s too serious at all. I think it’s just perfect.”

  The tension in Greg’s back eased a little, but his silence continued unbroken, and the knot in Adrian’s gut twisted tighter. Did Greg see this thing between them in a more casual way than Adrian did? Was he going to think Adrian was too clingy now? Too needy? Would he want to break up now?

  Adrian swallowed hard. The thought of Greg leaving him set off a bright spark of panic deep in his chest.

  Get a hold of yourself. You know Greg’s not one for heart-to-heart talks, especially if it involves how he feels instead of how someone else feels. Don’t jump to conclusions.

  Closing his eyes, Adrian nuzzled Greg’s throat. God, he smelled good. Skin and sweat and sex, with a bare hint of the musky cologne he wore still detectable some fourteen hours after he’d put it on. His body fit perfectly against Adrian’s. The faint stubble on his cheek scraped the shell of Adrian’s ear. Adrian could feel the steady thud of Greg’s heartbeat against his own. He held Greg tight and hoped it wouldn’t be the last time.

  Eventually, Greg stirred in that unmistakable “I’d like to move now” way. Sighing, Adrian loosened his grip so Greg could roll over. Greg flopped onto his back and dapped a finger into the semen coating his stomach. “I guess we should go clean up.”

  Okay. So we’re going to ignore this issue.

  Adrian bit back the urge to roll his eyes at himself. He hadn’t even had the guts to make it an issue. All he’d said was that his dad was worried about them getting too serious too fast, and that he himself didn’t think that was so. Chances were the implications of that statement had flown right over Greg’s head.