“Cheating,” I snapped when a second pair of ties went around my wrists.
“Just evening out the playing field,” she said, sounding all kinds of proud of herself.
“I’ll still get out,” I said when she used two ties to connect my hands to my feet.
“Oh, I know.” She knelt beside me, sliding one of her arms beneath my throat. “You know, my father-in-law owns a gym.”
“That’s great,” I muttered as I took in her position and tried to anticipate what she was about to do.
“He trains MMA fighters.”
I lifted my head higher and tried to move away when she curled her arm around my neck.
“I’ve gotten really good at my chokehold,” she hinted wryly.
My dad barked out a laugh.
“Get him, Kenz,” Uncle Mason called out.
“Let’s see if you can get out before you lose consciousness,” she said as if she were betting on the fact that I wouldn’t.
“Wait, what?” Emma whispered, sounding horrified.
Liam waved us off. “I’ve learned to just go with it.”
“But—”
“Babe.” I waited until her wide stare shifted back to me, a small grin lifting at the corner of my mouth. “Trust me.”
“All right,” my mom called out, “in three, two, one . . .”
I sent Emma a wink just as Kennedy’s hold tightened around my neck.
“You need to sleep,” I said to Reed that night as I took in his heavy-lidded eyes.
His stare shifted to me, the corners of his mouth lifting in a tired smile. “Yeah, I think I’m done.”
Between the extreme and dangerous competitions that had continued well into the night, more extended family coming and going, arguments that were over as quickly as they began, and the laughter and food that never seemed to end, the day had been full. It had also been easy to get caught up in Reed’s family and their obvious love for each other. Easy to see how everything about the man beneath the tattoos and uniform drew me in.
Reed pulled me closer on the outdoor lounge chair we were sharing, his voice dropping lower. “Think I can take you to bed?”
“Please,” I said with a sigh, then glanced pointedly at where Kennedy and her husband were whispering not far from us—everyone else having already left. “Is it okay with you if we go?”
A mixture of irritation, disgust, and amusement darted across his face. “I’d rather not have to see them make out again.”
As if on cue, Liam stood up and pulled Kennedy with him, holding her around the waist as if she were a rag doll. “Goodnight,” he called out to us, all smiles as she cussed him up and down between her laughter.
“Fucking fantastic,” Reed muttered. “Their room is close to ours.”
A snort left me, causing me to laugh harder, then harder still when Reed glared at me. “I’m sorry, it isn’t funny.”
“All right, we need to get you to bed,” he said, easily maneuvering me so I was standing.
“Says the guy who hasn’t slept in days.”
“I got a few minutes earlier,” he said as he stood and pulled me into his arms. “And I’m also used to it.”
I hummed some kind of assent as I let my forehead fall to his neck. My heart skipping and my head emptying of all thought when Reed grabbed one of my hands and brought it up to his chest, placing my palm against the steady pounding there as he began moving us. Slowly rocking to the soft music playing through the outdoor speakers and stealing my heart all over again as one song bled into the next.
His hand curled around mine as the other pressed to the small of my back, keeping me close to him in a way that was all subtle possession.
And I wanted it.
The way he waited for me to come to him, then held me close as if he wouldn’t let me go. The comfort and safety I felt in his arms, the love wrapping around us, I wanted it forever.
Hours later, and the realization still had undiluted fear clawing at my chest.
“You okay?” he asked, his mouth grazing my cheek.
I hadn’t noticed we’d stopped moving—that I’d stopped us—until then.
“I’m terrified,” I admitted when every instinct was screaming at me to pull away from him. To leave.
His hands curled tighter. “Of what?”
“You,” I whispered, my stare on our joined hands against his chest when he shifted away. “What you do to me and how badly I want this.”
The corners of my lips lifted when his heart beat harder and faster beneath my palm in response.
“See what you do to me?” he asked, his voice dipping when he confessed, “When I look at you, I see the rest of my life.”
My heart pounded out an unforgiving beat as a lifetime of watching empty promises play out had doubt weaving through my thoughts. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
Reed’s brows lowered as the hand on my back pressed me even closer. “So there’s no confusion,” he began, tone a low rumble, “I love you more than should be possible. I see our future when we’re on the porch swing or when I listen to you walking up the stairs. I see my wife when I look at you.” His mouth brushed across mine when his words pulled a stuttered breath from me. “That’s how badly I want this.”
The admission had a terrible effect on my heart and my mind. Joy and love clashing with fears and vows until my breaths were coming out quick and shallow.
“We are not your mom and every guy you watched her with,” he said, sensing where my panic was coming from.
“But you . . . you can’t know that,” I said around the wraiths gripping at my throat. “Just yesterday, we weren’t even speaking. And it’s soon. Isn’t all of this too soon?”
Understanding and patience poured from him as he let me release my fears. “We weren’t speaking because of a misunderstanding,” he said gently. “And, Emma, people fight. But us? We’re going to be different because you have walls and a hard time trusting anyone, including yourself. What matters is that you and I end up right here.” He pressed me closer in emphasis.
“It’s soon,” I whispered, knowing the argument was weak, even against my own feelings.
“I’m not dragging you to a church, Emma,” he teased, his smile flashing in the dark.
Amusement bled from me on a breath as my forehead fell to his shoulder, a deep sigh leaving me and taking most of my worries when he began moving us to the music again.
“Tell me how badly you want this,” he begged soon after, voice soft as he spoke into my ear.
“Forever,” I said without hesitation.
He pressed his head harder to mine as he continued swaying us. “It’s a little soon to be saying things like that.”
His rich laugh filled my world when I pushed against him, and then he was pulling me close again and stealing a kiss as my own laugh lingered on my lips.
“Gonna take you to bed now and hold you in my arms as I fall asleep,” he said, all traces of laughter fading. “I’m gonna be there whenever you wake up, afraid of who’s next to you. And one day, I’m gonna marry you.”
My heart faltered before taking off in a desperate sprint for the man it belonged to. Wanting everything he’d so plainly laid out through all the fear. “Okay,” I managed to whisper.
A hint of a smile played on his lips as he echoed, “Okay.”
Turning me, he tucked me against his side and led me into the house, slowing to turn off the music and lights as we slowly made our way through the house.
“You have the tidiest rooms,” I said once we were both back in his room after getting ready for bed, still marveling over how much his old room looked like the one he currently lived in. “There’s nothing out of place. You only have what’s needed. There are no personal touches.”
I turned when Reed didn’t respond to see him leaning up against the closed door, watching me with gentle amusement.
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have many things either. I moved everything I own into one room at Lala’s, but I didn�
��t have the family you do. I didn’t have that kind of love.”
He dipped his head, then looked pointedly around his room. “It’s like this for a reason.”
Reed pushed from the door and moved to his dresser, tugging on the top drawer just enough so it wasn’t perfectly seated in place anymore. Continuing through his room, he went to his nightstand and opened the drawer there before quickly shutting it.
“The stories I told you on the way here?” he asked as he walked back to where he’d originally been. “Now, walking in, I can glance around the room and know someone was in here. There aren’t personal things because if someone comes in, I don’t want them to have something to use against me—like my family.”
I hummed in acknowledgment and looked around again. “You’re worried about that in Colby?”
“Not really. But I was trained my entire life to be prepared for it, and my dad’s undercover work put a huge target on us when his cover got blown.”
“I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like,” I muttered, then turned to face him. “I couldn’t understand it when you first told me everything, but after meeting your family . . . I get it—what your dad did.” I shrugged. “He did everything he could to protect you because he loves you.” My stare fell as old memories pushed to the surface. “I spent half my life protecting my mom from drugs and every kind of asshole imaginable, and I hated her. If I’d loved her, I might’ve gone to extremes like your dad.”
“It wasn’t your job to protect her.”
A huff fell from my lips as I stepped out of my heels and went to the bed. Once I had my toiletry bag put away and was digging through my overnight bag to find something to sleep in since I’d just shoved a bunch of random things in there that morning, I said, “I started running when I moved to New York. In a sense, I’d been running my entire life. And once I finally moved there, I had the strongest urge to stay there while running from everything.” Another laugh tumbled free, my head shaking. “That sounds stupid.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Reed said, gently urging me to continue.
I put whatever I’d managed to grab back in my bag and faced him again. “I’ve never felt so free as when I’m running. I mean . . . I think I almost passed out the first few times,” I admitted, earning a soft laugh from him.
“But even on the days I can’t outrun my past, it’s like there’s a layer between everything that happened and me. Like it can’t actually touch me. And it's . . .”—I floundered for the right words when nothing seemed to be enough—“freeing and calming. And I feel strong and confident and like I’m not that scared girl in an RV.”
Reed’s face creased with sorrow and a subtle fury when my voice dipped and twisted at the end.
“You asked if I was comfortable in heels, and I am.” I lifted one of my shoulders. “As ridiculous as it sounds, that’s exactly how I feel when I’m wearing heels.”
“Nothing can touch you,” he said, understanding wrapping around the words. Pushing from the door again, he erased the distance between us, pulling the shirt he’d changed into off his body as he did. “You’re strong and confident no matter what you wear.”
I looked at the material he was holding out to me, my stare drifting back to him as my fingers gently curled around it. “What’s this?”
“You said you’re as comfortable in your heels as you were in my clothes.” He lifted a brow meaningfully, his stare falling to my cheeks when they filled with heat.
“Thank you,” I whispered, my gaze lingering when he backed away with a brush of his fingers across my hip and started tidying up the room as if he hadn’t just given me something priceless.
Or maybe he just understood I needed room to breathe after he went and spoke to my soul that way.
I slipped into the shirt as I undressed and put away my other clothes, a soft sigh leaving me when the thin cotton of Reed’s shirt felt like warmth and familiarity as it slid over my skin.
It was ridiculous, really, that a shirt could mean so much. Or that I could find comfort being surrounded in Reed’s scent when all of this was so new.
“I see my wife when I look at you.”
So new. So early.
But this connection between us felt more real than anything I’d ever experienced.
My stare drifted to where Reed was waiting next to the bed, wearing an indescribable expression as he stared at the floor. Arms folded over his bare chest and being entirely distracting from his gunmetal eyes and his too-handsome face to his perfectly muscled body covered in colorful designs.
I flipped off the main light, leaving the room still lit under the glow of the lamp he’d turned on. “What are you thinking?”
His gaze flickered to me, his brow furrowing. “There’s something I want to tell you.”
I gave him a questioning look, the corner of my mouth twitching into a playful smirk. “I thought you weren’t going to drag me off to a church.”
His chest shook with a muted laugh. “Yeah, I’m not.” Pulling the covers back, he nodded to the bed and gently pleaded, “Come on.”
I paused next to the side of the bed when he got in, unease starting to creep into my stomach as I wondered what could be weighing so heavily on his mind. “Should I be worried?”
“No,” he said quickly. “I’d figured you would’ve already been told, but I don’t think you have. And I just think it’s something you should know.”
After another moment of hesitation, I slid in next to him but didn’t go to where he held out his arm for me. I turned so I was facing him and sat with my legs crossed and back straight, preparing for whatever he was about to tell me.
“Emma,” he said softly as he held out his hand between us, “it isn’t bad. It’ll just explain some things.”
“So explain,” I said as I placed my hand in his.
He nodded, his eyes darting over my face as if he could sense I was already preparing to put my shields in place. “You said you thought Lala and I were in some fucked-up family thing to raise Nora,” he began, then gave me a pointed look. “Again . . . your assumption was disgusting. She’s like my grandma—she’s like everyone’s grandma.”
“Right, I don’t actually think you’re in some kind of relationship with my grandma,” I said dryly.
“Progress,” he teased, a small smirk pulling at his mouth when I squeezed his hand in response. When he continued, his voice dropped into something more somber. “But the reason I’m there every day . . . Nora . . . I told you, I’d die for her.” His throat shifted with a forced swallow, his head bobbing slowly. “That little girl grabbed my heart and fit herself inside there right about the second she grabbed my hand and claimed I was hers. Then when Lala had her stroke, Nora lost it.”
It felt like I was holding my breath as I listened to Reed speak. Clinging to every word and every emotion as he offered me parts of my family I hadn’t been there for and gave me what clearly meant the world to him.
“She stayed curled in a ball, screaming. If anyone tried to go near her, she’d scream louder.” His gaze shifted to meet mine as he emphasized, “Shrieking like she was in pain, or something.”
“Even with you?”
His head listed. “No, I was the only one who could calm her. But even after I’d have her calm for a while, she’d lose it if I tried to leave, so I stayed. Took care of her until even after Lala came back from the hospital.”
Gratitude bled from me, but I waited, wondering what it was Reed thought I needed to know.
“About a month later, Lala had me come over. Nick’s dad was there—he’s a lawyer.”
I went still at the casual mention of Ron Butler but struggled to relax before Reed could notice as he went on.
“He’s been helping Lala with all of Nora’s legal things since your mom left her.”
“Wait.” I sat back, head shaking a little. “What legal things?”
“Getting custody and things like that.”
A stunned breath fled from me. “I di
dn’t think Lala had custody—she told me she’s afraid my mom’s going to come back for Nora.”
“She is,” he said with a hint of a shrug. “She’s worried Joslin will just take her. But Lala made sure to do everything to get custody of Nora.”
An uneasy breath left me as I realized there had been no point in any of the research I’d done. And if I’d never scheduled the meeting at Butler and Davis, I wouldn’t have bumped into Jarrod Davis. I wouldn’t have realized we were in the same town.
Then again, I’d unknowingly walked into the Butlers’ house where Jarrod was waiting just the night before.
“Why do you look like that’s a bad thing?”
“It’s a great thing,” I said on a breath. “When I first got here, I was researching how to get Lala custody so my mom couldn’t do exactly that, but I kept running into all these blocks.” I lifted a shoulder. “The way Lala talked about it, I hadn’t known she’d already done everything.”
He curled his hand around mine when I eased it back into his.
“But what you’re saying . . . I guess it makes sense.” I searched his curious stare and said, “Apparently, my mom left me with Lala and my grandpa too, not that I knew any of this until recently. When I was two, she came back and took me. Lala said there’d been nothing they could do.”
A grunt rumbled in Reed’s chest, all sorrow and pain and frustration.
“I’d be there anyway,” he said after a moment, “checking on them—checking on Nora and just being there for her. But it’s important for me to be active and a constant in her life because Nora’s mine.”
I blinked slowly, unable to process the words that had just left him. “Excuse me?”
“After the stroke, Lala was afraid of what would happen to Nora if anything were to happen like that again . . . with a worse outcome. And of everyone, your grandma trusts me with Nora because Nora trusts me.”
“So, she just gave her to you?” I asked incredulously.
His head slanted in the beginnings of a shake as he explained, “If I were to only get custody of her in the event of Lala’s death, Nora would go into the system while everything was settled legally. Lala didn’t want that to happen, especially after she found out how Nora reacted to everyone when Lala was in the hospital. And she didn’t want us to both be guardians of her because that would have its own complications later.”
Lie to Me Page 33
