by Lee Crystal
After we caught our breath, he asked, “Are you ever going to answer my question?”
I sighed, “I suppose tit for tat and all that.” I smiled. Then more somberly, I said, “I realized that you knew about Malcolm and Maddox. I didn’t want you to know. I don’t want you to pity me, or be disgusted with me. I don’t ever want to lose your regard.”
His gaze had turned hard, his full lips were pressed in a thin line, and a scowl marred his brow. He looked rather intimidating, and I wasn’t sure why he was upset. I told him what he wanted to know. I was just about ready to move off his lap, when he placed both his hands on my shoulders and moved them up until he was cradling each side of my jaw.
“I do not pity you, there is nothing to pity,” he said firmly. “And disgust, baby, if you felt what was going on in my jeans right now, you would know there is nothing that disgusts me when it comes to you.” To punctuate his statement he thrust his hips up, and the contact of a rigid erection between my legs made me gasp.
He pulled me to him, and kissed me hard. He cupped my head with one hand and pushed my lower back right onto his erection with the other. I was in a whirlwind of indecision. I didn’t know if I should tell him to stop, or to keep going. My body surely wanted to keep going, my hips were undulating of their own accord, and my hands were grasping and pulling at him with a fevered intensity. I was out of control.
“We have to stop,” he panted as he gently pushed me back. I was hot, out of breath, and in a lust-filled stupor. It took me several moments before I could rationalize what I was doing. I looked in his face, saw he was flushed, his hair was a mess, and his breathing was just as labored as mine. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and tried to compose myself.
When I looked back to him, I saw a smile tugging at his swollen lips, and couldn’t help but smile back.
“I suppose we should probably get up,” I said, not really wanting to move, but not relishing the idea of getting caught in this precarious position, either.
“I suppose we should,” he agreed quietly. He positioned his hands on my hips and began to lift me off his lap. I couldn’t hold back the groan that escaped. The position I was in had strained my hip, and trying to move my legs back in a normal position shot sharp bolts of pain from my hip to my knee.
“Shit,” Carter muttered. He turned me so I was now sitting on the couch with him kneeling at my right side. “I am going to get you doing some stretches and conditioning,” he said as he started to massage my hip and thigh. I groaned, but in relief this time.
I thought about what he said. “You know that you are really bossy?” I said as he kneaded my hip.
He chuckled. “Yeah? I guess that’s something you’ll have to get used to then, huh?”
“You could maybe say please, or ask?” I retorted.
“How ‘bout I do this instead?” He pushed up and planted his lips over my mouth. While I delved into the kiss, I thought, I could do some stretches, maybe a little exercise—heck if he kept kissing me, I’d do just about anything.
Chapter 9-Carter
I stayed at the Daltons’ over the weekend. I refused the bedroom upstairs, opting for the couch, so I could be closer to Taryn. I had this overwhelming need to be near her. I woke up both nights when she started screaming, and rushed to her room. The agony and sorrow I would see on her face unmanned me. I cradled her in my lap, reassuring her until she would stop crying and fall asleep.
I would end up falling asleep in her bed with her wrapped in my arms. Thankfully, I managed to wake before she did. After the first morning, I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable again.
We talked a lot about mundane things. I learned she loves gardening, all kinds of music, animals, and she loves to write. She is hoping to obtain a degree in English literature. I was worried for her when she told me how she wanted to go to a four-year college, and live on her own. Frankly, the thought scared the hell out of me. A million different things could happen to her, even without her hang ups. I was relieved when she let me know that she wasn’t ready, it was just something she wanted.
She asked a lot of questions about everything from what my favorite color was to why my parents divorced. I told her everything she wanted to know, until she asked about past girlfriends. I didn’t lie to her, but I didn’t tell her about Felicia. I know at some point I will have to, but I didn’t want to fuck up what we had going.
Mr. Dalton, Ethan and I also talked while we were in the shop looking over Ethan’s Camaro.
“I have a few ideas I’d like to pass by you two,” I said to them both.
“Yeah? Shoot,” answered Ethan, while he continued cleaning the grill of the car.
“I researched different treatments for PTSD and anxiety,” I said, trying not to sound forceful. “I think I have found something that will help with both, as well as make her happy. It’s not a treatment really, just something to help with coping and giving her more independence.”
“You’ve got me intrigued,” Mr. Dalton said as he looked over to Ethan. I tried to gauge his response, but he wasn’t giving anything away.
“What exactly is this treatment?” Ethan finally asked.
“I think you’re going to really like it.” I grinned.
After I explained what I had learned, as well as set in motion, the three of us hashed out a schedule of sorts, and started making preparations. I was to stay with Taryn while Ethan was at work, which would allow Mr. Dalton to run his errands, and manage whatever a retired old man manages. Ethan would take the weekends and nights. I was fine with having a schedule, however, I had no intention of not being by Taryn’s side regardless of whose shift it was.
When the three of us sat down with Taryn to tell her about the schedule and a few safety measures, you would have thought we told her someone died. I didn’t ever want to see that look of hopelessness cross her sweet face again. After some cajoling, and reassuring her it was temporary, she relented, but she never lost that look in her eyes before she went to her room.
On Sunday, Jim and Melanie stopped by with Maddie. When Taryn saw the little girl, she brightened exponentially. It was fascinating, watching the way she played with Maddie. Seeing her in the kitchen helping Maddie roll out dough for cinnamon rolls made something in my chest grow tight. It was almost uncomfortable, but I couldn’t take my gaze away for anything.
It was now Monday, and Taryn was locked up in the study, working on her assignments. I wanted nothing more than to break down the damn door and kiss her. I hadn’t so much as touched her since Saturday morning, other than during the night. I thought I might have pushed a little too fast, but hell, that girl had me burning up, and half hard anytime I just looked at her.
I couldn’t get enough of her. I had been lusting for her since I first saw her. In the study, hearing her say she shared my feelings was enough to send me over the edge. I was grateful we stopped when we did—I hadn’t spent myself in my pants since I was in middle school, but having her straddled across my lap was almost too much. I was so hard, I was sure I’d have permanent indentions from my zipper scarred on my dick. Since I wasn’t wearing boxers, it was a serious possibility.
After making phone calls, and solidifying my plans, it was almost noon. I wanted to see Taryn. I made my way to the study door and knocked.
“Yeah?” she called through the door. I pushed the door open and walked in. She was sitting on the loveseat with her bare feet curled under her, a laptop on her lap, and a notebook next to her. She was wearing flannel pajamas printed with pink hearts and green frogs wearing crowns. Her hair was disheveled, with blonde ringlets hanging in her face. She was adorable. Only since Taryn would I ever use the word adorable.
“Get up, we’re taking a break,” I said with a tone that invited no argument. Of course, this was Taryn, and I knew she didn’t understand that tone.
“I’m not done yet, I need at least another hour,” she said without looking up from the computer.
I walked over, picked up the lap
top and shut it. I belatedly hoped she had saved whatever she was working on. She started to sputter, and the fire in her eyes and cheeks told me she was bloody pissed. That was okay, she was probably going to get more pissed.
“Up you go,” I said as I picked her up from under her arms.
“Carter, what do you think you’re doing? You can’t just come in here and boss me around. I am busy,” she yelled once I had her standing up.
“Yep, now you’re busy with something else,” I replied without a moment’s hesitation. Now go shower and get dressed while I make lunch.” I tried to hold back my laughter. She was so cute when she was mad. Her little nose was all scrunched up, her full lips pursed, and even when angry, her eyes were the most beautiful shade of emerald.
“Look, you stupid brute, I don’t follow your orders, you got that?” she punctuated with a finger to my chest. “Now GET OUT!”
“Taryn, you have two choices: you can go to your room, shower and dress on your own, or I will carry you, strip you naked, shower you, and dress you myself. Now I’m all for the latter option, but being you’re new to this and all, I thought you might like to do it yourself,” I said, with my arms crossed and my head bent down to her.
“You—you wouldn’t.”
“Wouldn’t I?”
“ARRGG! I would slap you right now, but most would call that animal abuse.” She turned toward the door. “Stupid, overbearing Neanderthal giant,” she ranted until I heard her door close.
When I knew she wouldn’t hear me, I couldn’t hold in the laughter any longer. God, she was a spitfire, and some of the stuff she said was just too much. I was still chuckling when I made it to the kitchen, where I began making grilled cheese and ham sandwiches for lunch.
Twenty minutes later, Taryn appeared. She had her hair pulled up in a ponytail, and was dressed in jean shorts and a t-shirt that had a picture of a sperm and said Sperm is one component to life, unfortunately that’s all you got. I chuckled, knowing she probably wore that shirt on purpose, and handed her a sandwich and a glass of water.
“Thanks,” she muttered. I could see in her face that she wasn’t really angry any more, she was more curious than anything.
“You’re welcome,” I said as I stood across from her at the breakfast bar and took a bite of my own sandwich.
After we were both finished eating and the dishes were cleaned, I took her by her hand and led her out the back slider door.
“Where are we going?” she asked while tugging on her hand.
“Shh, I want you to be quiet, and just follow,” I said as I looked down to see that nose scrunched up again. I led her down the sloped yard, to the shore of the lake. I stopped and turned her, so she was facing me.
“I want to show you a method in Tai Chi meditation. One of my instructors introduced me to it years ago, and it works if you let it.” I took in her bewildered expression, and thought of the best way to do this. “I usually do this standing up, but I think it might be easier if we sit down.” I motioned for her to sit down. After she sat, I began to unlace her sneakers.
“What are you doing?” she asked as she pulled her leg back.
“I need you relaxed, and having our feet free will help. No arguing,” I told her as I grabbed her foot again. After removing her shoes and socks, I pulled off my own, setting them next to us. I moved to sit behind her, with her between my legs, and could feel the way she instantly went rigid. Bending my head to the side, I could see the blush on her face, which brought a smile to my lips. So, she was nervous, with me this close? Or from the contact? I wasn’t sure.
With her back resting against my chest, I wrapped my arms around her middle and felt the weight of her breast against my arm. I held back the moan that wanted to escape. She was so soft, and her curves fit just right. Shit, my pants were getting tighter, and I tried to move my groin back so she couldn’t feel the bulge there. Jesus, Belmont, get your head off your dick.
I cleared my throat. “Are you comfortable?” I asked. I could tell she was tense with nervousness, but I hoped that would change. She nodded.
“I want you to take a deep breath, and try to relax all your muscles,” I instructed. I heard her draw in a breath, and felt her relax a little. “Now, close your eyes. Are they closed?” I asked and she gave me a nod. “Good. Take another deep breath, and when you let it out, let your muscles relax.” She did as I asked, and again I felt more tension leave her body.
“Now dig your toes into the sand.” I waited as I watched her petite feet bury themselves into the sand. “Do you feel the cool dampness?”
“Yes,” she whispered, I felt her head go a little slack on my shoulder.
“Now, I want you to take another deep breath in and imagine that you are pulling the dampness in through your toes and up your legs. When you exhale, imagine you are pushing it back down your legs, through your toes and back into the sand.”
She took a long, indrawn breath and slowly released it.
“Keep going,” I continued. “Imagine the water from the sand climbing higher up your legs with each breath until you feel it in your belly,” I told her while I gave a slow caress below her belly button. I let her continue deep breathing for a while, and with every exhale I felt her going limper.
Quietly, I spoke into her ear, “Now think of all the bad, everything ugly, everything scary.” I paused, feeling her start to tense again. “I want you to flush it all out with the water. Gather it all and let the water carry it out to the lake.” She continued to breathe, but I felt small tremors through her back, and knew she was crying. I just held her, and let her get it out. She needed to be able to rid herself of the tortured memories she held in her mind.
Eventually, her breathing became calmer and measured. I knew she was in her own space, and not cognizant of what was around her. I continued to hold her, making sure not to disturb or interrupt her.
I don’t know how long it was that we sat there. I would have let her stay relaxed and in peace for however long she needed, regardless of my ass being wet and numb.
“Do you believe people’s eyes are the window to their souls?” she softly asked. I was startled to hear her talk, and then had to think about what she was asking before I could answer.
“I’m not sure. I think you can tell a lot about a person by what you can see in their eyes, so maybe,” I answered, wondering what she was thinking about with such an odd and heavy question.
“I saw his soul leave through his eyes. Now, all I see are cold, dead eyes.” Her voice was monotonic and distant.
“Whose eyes, baby?”
“My dad’s,” she said softly. “He had eyes like mine, but when he died, they turned flat and lifeless, like they weren’t really his. One second he was in there, then nothing,” she said, still detached. I was quiet. I didn’t know what I could say, and I had a feeling she just needed to talk more than listen.
“I tried to help him, I didn’t really know what to do, but blood just kept pouring out of him. I tried to stop it. He looked at me the whole time. He couldn’t say anything, but I knew he was telling me goodbye. I miss him so much, it makes my chest burn.” She sniffed, and I knew she was crying again. “For a while, I used to hate it when Ethan would come home from school. He looks just like our Dad, and I used to hate looking at him because it would make me miss my Dad more. I would get so angry, I would yell at him, or ignore him. He never gave up, though. He always pushed, until one day, I broke apart and told him I hated him for looking like my Dad. I told him I wished I would have died, too. Then I wouldn’t have to be reminded of how much life sucked.
“I was selfish, and a rotten sister. I only saw what was happening to me, not once before that day did I think about what Ethan had gone through, or how he felt. I don’t deserve him, he has only ever loved me… all he ever thought about was me.” She finished in a whisper.
I didn’t say anything, just held her and rocked both our bodies from side to side. My chest hurt from the pain she was in. I wanted nothing
more in that moment than to make her happy, to see her smile and hear her laugh. She was so kindhearted, and I knew she really felt she didn’t deserve Ethan. The thought that she felt unworthy of anything only made me more determined to help her heal.
After a time, she wiped her face with her hand then reached down to where my hands were wrapped around her belly. She gave me a gentle squeeze.
“Thank you, Carter. I think I needed that.”
I kissed the top of her head, “You’re welcome, baby.”
I realized it was starting to get late, and with wet asses and the evening breeze, we were both chilled. I rubbed her arms. “I think we better go in, your brother is probably wondering where we are,” I said.
“Yeah,” is all she said as she scooted forward and pulled her legs under her, but I was already up and hauled her into my arms. With my arms around her and her head on my chest, I felt what I could only describe as peace.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, actually I am,” she replied, looking up into my eyes. “That was really insightful… and it was very therapeutic.” She grinned.
“Good,” I lowered my head until I could feel the heat of her breath on my lips. “I’m going to kiss you now.” I didn’t give her a chance to respond. My lips met hers, and I loved how soft she felt. She let out a little moan, and the fire I had managed to suppress earlier rolled in like an inferno.
I pressed harder, running my tongue along the seam of her lips, until she opened. God, she was sweet, I couldn’t get enough of her mouth. I knew she was inexperienced, but I think that just made it better. I explored every space in her mouth with my tongue, tilting her head so I could go deeper. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled at my hair, which elicited a growl from me.
If I didn’t stop, I was liable to swallow her whole. With a groan, I pulled back, resting my forehead against hers. We were both breathing hard, and with every breath her breasts pushed into me. I was harder than granite, and I seriously thought my dick had turned to lead. Jesus, she undid me. I had no control when it came to her, and if I wasn’t careful, not only would Ethan kill me, but I could ruin whatever this was between us.
