Save Me (Elk Creek)

by Lee Crystal

  I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel, wiping steam from the mirror with my hand. I brushed my hair, thinking about what I should do or say to get Carter to make love to me. I was nearly light headed with fear and overwhelmed with my own feelings of insecurity: What if I didn’t know what to do? What if he rejected me? What if he was just too big for me? I mean, I wasn’t a masochist, and the idea of pain certainly dulled my excitement, but it couldn’t be that bad, right? Men and women had sex all the time; men fit into women, that’s how God made them. Carter would fit, right? I mean, he couldn’t be much different than other men, it’s just that the only penis I had ever seen in person was Ethan’s and that was when he was eight and peed on a tree in the backyard.

  I could do this, I told myself. I wanted this, I wanted to be with Carter, and I trusted him. I wasn’t naïve enough to think it wouldn’t hurt at all, but I knew that Carter would be careful and make it special. I knew this would mean as much to him as it would to me. I looked at myself in the mirror and tried not to scrutinize what I saw. Carter seemed to like what I looked like, and I wasn’t going to borrow more worry than I already had. I needed an alter ego, maybe FIERCE TARYN. I practiced my most determined face with my shoulders squared, and was finding it easier and easier to be courageous.

  “You are fierce, you are a diva, you can do this,” I told myself in the mirror. I slipped on some plain blue panties—they weren’t anything sexy by any means, but they were all I had. I also put on my bra, figuring I was naked enough to show my intent. I wasn’t quite ready to just walk out there buck naked, this was as close as I was getting. I pulled my shoulders back, put on my much-practiced determined face, and walked out of the bathroom.

  Carter was reclined on the bed, Barlow lying next to him, watching the television. He turned his head toward me and stilled. His eyes grew so wide they looked like they were going to pop out. If I wasn’t trying so hard not to tremble, I would have laughed. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, stood up, and walked over to me.

  “Taryn, are you okay?” he asked, not taking his eyes off mine.

  “Carter, would you make love to me?” I was surprised by how calm my voice sounded; actually, I was impressed. Inside I was screaming and imagining myself running back to the bathroom and locking myself in. He didn’t say anything right away, just studied my face, but that ravenous look was smoldering in his eyes.

  “Taryn, are you sure? We don’t have to do this,” he said as he glanced eagerly at my chest. Why did he have to talk? Weren’t men supposed to hate talking? I stretched up on my tiptoes, and wrapped my arms around his neck, bumping into the large bulge in his jeans. A tinge of nervousness crept up my spine, and I remembered how fierce I was, and pushed myself harder against his groin. He emitted a growl that sent tingles through my belly.

  “I’m sure, would you take off your pants now?” I whispered in his ear.

  “Baby, if you don’t stop doing that, it will be over before we get started,” he growled. I really loved his growly, scratchy voice. He picked me up by cupping my bottom, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He pressed his lips against my neck, kissing and nuzzling, as he carried me to the bed, before laying me down next to Barlow.

  “Barlow, off!” he ordered gruffly. Barlow stood up and hopped off the bed, only to lie in front of the door.

  Carter rose enough to unbutton his jeans as I ran my hands over his broad chest. He pulled off his jeans and boxers quickly, climbing on the bed and resting his legs between mine. Heat was blooming low in my belly, causing me to shiver as he lowered his mouth, reaching the swell of my chest. I couldn’t suppress the moan that came out as he cupped my breast through my bra. His touch was setting me on fire.

  He looked at me, his face just inches from mine. “I’m going to take your bra off,” he whispered, and began pulling one strap down, while reaching under my back to get to the hooks. He unclasped the back and pulled my bra down my arm, leaving my breasts completely naked. The sudden coolness from being uncovered made them tighten, and when he ran his thumb over one peak, I shuddered. He began trailing kisses above and around, finally settling on the center of one breast while his fingers caressed the other. I couldn’t seem to hold still, my legs were scissoring and felt like I was going to explode from irritation or need, I wasn’t sure.

  Soon he was moving lower down my belly, grabbing the sides of my panties before looking at me again. “These are coming off, too,” he said, before pulling them down my legs, never taking his eyes from mine. His constant concern and explanation made me cherish him even more.

  He moved his eyes from my face and traveled the length of my body. I blushed—how I could feel even hotter in that moment was beyond me, but I felt my face and chest heat, making me a living incinerator. He lifted my good leg and kissed his way up to my thigh, then lifted my other leg and kissed his way up to right above my knee, stopping at the beginning of my scar. He caressed the length of my scar with his lips and tongue clear to my hip.

  “You’re beautiful, Taryn,” he rasped out before he slipped his hand between my thighs, and then I couldn’t think a coherent thought. I closed my eyes, reveling in the sensations he was evoking. They were exhilarating and completely alien to me. When I felt the pressure of his chest on mine, I opened my eyes to see him reaching for his pants, when he leaned back up I saw he had a condom. I watched in fascination as he held himself, slipping the condom over his very large erection. Oh, God it was coming. I felt myself tense up and chided myself for being such a sissy. I tried to conjure up fierce Diva Taryn.

  “Look at me!” Carter demanded. I looked from his groin to his eyes, and remembered he wouldn’t hurt me on purpose. I could do this.

  I nodded at Carter, opening my legs for him to nestle in more. The feel of him against my sensitive tissues made me lose any trepidation I had. I grabbed his shoulders and tilted my hips, encouraging him to touch me again.

  “Don’t stop looking at me, Taryn, I want you with me,” he said. I could see the tension in his face, and his strain in his jaw from clenching his teeth. I reached up and ran my hand over his cheek, then through his hair.

  “I’m ready, Carter,” I whispered. He closed his eyes, and let out a breath before looking at me again.

  “If it becomes too much, you tell me. I don’t want to hurt you, baby, but I think it will at first,” he said.

  “I’ll tell you, just… please Carter… do something. I need you to do something,” I pleaded.

  He nodded, and reached down between our bodies. I felt him sliding through my folds, stopping at my entrance. Then I felt a slight burn begin as I was stretching, before a sharp pinch, accompanied by a hard thrust. I cried out from the pain and tears blurred my vision. I was digging my fingers into his shoulders as my body that was pliant seconds ago had become rigid.

  “Shh, shh, baby, I’m so sorry. Oh God, don’t cry, please,” Carter tried to soothe me.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to breathe through it, before opening my eyes to see a concerned Carter. He bent his head down and began kissing the tears from the corners of my eyes and cheeks. After a few deep breaths, I was beginning to relax.

  “Can I move now?” he asked while kissing me. I slowly released the muscles through my hips and groin, eliciting a moan from Carter.

  “I think so… just go slow,” I instructed.

  He pulled out the barest of inches, and slowly moved back in. It didn’t really hurt, and the nerves down there were on fire. My hips started to move on their own, which caused Carter to moan. I was tender, and felt stretched, and very full, but the slight movement felt good. So, I did it again, eliciting another moan, this time from both of us.

  “Oh God, Taryn, I don’t know if I can stop.” He pulled out and slowly thrust back in, causing my entire body to tingle. He must have saw or felt something, because any reservations he had were gone. He began thrusting harder and faster, until I thought my entire body was going to come apart. Soon, I felt like I wa
s spiraling, falling into something unknown. I gripped his shoulders harder, trying to anchor myself to him right before I convulsed, and my entire being split apart. Sparks exploded behind my eyes, and I was blasted from my body straight to heaven. I could faintly hear Carter groan my name and tell me he loved me, but my brain felt disconnected and I couldn’t respond.

  Gradually I came back to myself, and felt the weight of Carter on my chest, and his lips on my neck. I softly ran my fingertips over his back and shoulders, enjoying the feel of him so close, so connected. He was still inside me when he lifted off my chest. He looked at me, and kissed my nose, then my mouth.

  “Are you okay?” he asked

  “Yes, very much okay,” I answered before kissing him back.

  After a few long moments of kissing each other, he pulled back.

  “Let me get us cleaned up,” he said, as he began to pull away from my body. I winced as he slid out of me—I was definitely tender. I looked down and saw that he was much smaller than before, but the blood smeared on him had me blushing fiercely and trying to cover myself. This was too much.

  Carter grabbed my hands, putting them at my sides. “Don’t, Taryn. You gave me a gift, a gift that I cherish. Don’t be embarrassed, because I’m not. What we just shared was the most amazing experience I have ever had, and I loved every single thing about it. I love everything about you.” He ended in a whisper with a soft kiss to my lips, before getting off the bed and walking into the bathroom.

  After Carter carefully washed away the blood, I insisted on getting new sheets for the bed. We lay in the bed on our sides with him spooning behind me. We were both quiet, and I knew he was replaying our evening the same as I was. I was starting to feel my lids get heavy, when I felt Barlow jump on the bed. He crept up on my other side, and snuggled in. Knowing I was loved and protected, I drifted to sleep.

  Chapter 17- Carter

  As I lay there holding Taryn, listening to her breathe, I couldn’t stop thinking about having her. She was without a doubt the most responsive, beautiful, and giving woman I had ever met. My heart nearly stopped when she came out of the bathroom in only her underwear and bra—it was simple cotton, but on her it could have been fine silk or lace. When she asked me to make love to her, it was the last thing I expected her to say. My disbelief was outweighed only by my desire for her.

  When she cried, it was all I could do not to cry with her. God, I hated that I hurt her, but it couldn’t be helped. Hopefully next time it would be easier, and there sure as hell would be a next time. Hell, if it weren’t for her being sore, I would be at it again. I don’t think I could ever have enough of her, she was too sweet, and mine.

  I nestled into her, and stretched out my hand until I felt the fur of Barlow. He huffed a sigh, and settled back into sleep. The look on her face when she realized Barlow was for her would forever be etched in my brain. The look of gratitude and hope she had was staggering—to know that I helped her feel that made me feel ten feet tall.

  Things had changed. It was a dynamic shift that we could never go back from, and I didn’t want to. I couldn’t imagine not being with her every day. Hell, I’d carry her off to Vegas and marry her if I thought I had a snowball’s chance in hell that she would say yes. It was too soon, and there were so many things to work out. I was to start working for the DFW, and she wanted to go to college. I would go wherever she went, if she wanted to leave. I didn’t care, as long as I was with her, I would be happy.

  The next morning was rushed as both Taryn and I woke up late, and gathered our bags along with Barlow’s gear. I helped Taryn put his service vest on, tightening it around his chest and belly. Soon we were leaving for the airport. Barlow sat calmly in the back seat of the Escalade, panting and enjoying the air conditioning. Once we arrived at the airport, we scrambled to the rental car return, then on to check in. Fortunately, I had all the paperwork for Barlow, so everything went smoothly. He stuck by Taryn, calm by her side, but always vigilantly aware of those who walked near her.

  Once they called for first class, we went to the counter, gave our tickets, and walked onboard. Taryn was settled in her seat, Barlow lay at her feet, and I sat next to her after our bags were put away. I looked over my shoulder at Taryn, in her blue vinyl airplane seat, to see her eyes brimming with tears.

  “What’s wrong, sweetie?” I asked, immediately concerned. Was she panicking?

  “Nothing is wrong,” she replied firmly. “Carter, I don’t know how I can ever tell you thank you. The words just aren’t enough to express how I feel. I love you—even that sounds so lame, but I do. I don’t know what I have done to be so blessed, but I thank God for you. I pray that someday I can make you half as happy as you make me,” she ended softly with tears streaming down her cheeks.

  I pulled her over to me, and kissed her hard, full on the mouth. There was no help for it. She didn’t understand how happy she made me already. She had no idea the hold she had on me, or that her every thought mattered more to me than anything anyone else ever thought or said. She unmanned me.

  “You are mine, Taryn,” I said, pulling away from her warm, soft lips. “You will always be mine. That will always make me happy.”

  She stayed nestled into my side the entire way, until we changed planes in Portland. The ride from Portland to Roberts Field was a little more cramped as the plane was smaller, but Barlow managed to stay at Taryn’s feet the entire time. It was amazing to witness the bonding between the two of them. They already seemed to be in complete sync with one another.

  It was almost one o’clock in the afternoon when we reached the truck, I was anxious to get home. Having talked and texted with Ethan every day, I knew there had been another letter. Ethan didn’t bother to read it to me, and I had asked him to wait until we got home to tell Taryn. There wasn’t anything that could be done while we were traveling, and we both agreed that upsetting her on the trip wouldn’t do any good.

  The two-hour drive home was quiet; Taryn slept for most of it, as did Barlow. She woke just before we turned down our road. I could see excitement fill her eyes as she watched the road ahead. We pulled up to the house, and I honked the horn. Ethan came barreling out the front door with the biggest smile I had ever seen on him. Taryn had just unbuckled her seatbelt, and reached for the door when it swung open.

  “Tare, I missed you,” he said as he grabbed her off the seat and into his arms. At that moment, Barlow leapt in the front seat, and growled a warning to Ethan. It was the first time he had shown any aggression, and it startled all of us.

  “Whoa! Big boy… Uh, baby girl, I think you better call him off,” Ethan said as he slowly lowered Taryn to the ground.

  She looked at Barlow, who was still on the seat watching, but not growling any longer. “Barlow, heel,” Taryn commanded, and Barlow obeyed, hopping down from the truck and stopping at her side. Taryn instructed Ethan how to let Barlow get to know him, and even though he wasn’t growling, he watched intently anytime Ethan touched Taryn. I was pleased to see how protective he was of her already.

  After we all walked inside, carrying our bags and leading Barlow, Mr. Dalton greeted Taryn with a huge hug. I could tell that the few days she was gone had bothered both him and Ethan. She was such an integral part of this family, and she only thought of herself as a burden. I hoped the more confident she became, the more worth she would find in herself.

  Everyone sat at the kitchen table and Taryn began telling Mr. Dalton and Ethan about our trip. I noticed she didn’t mention Felicia or that she was attacked. She mostly discussed how great my Dad was, the museum, the twit waitress—her words—and then about meeting Grace and Barlow.

  Later Jim and Melanie stopped over with pizza and little Maddie, who fell in love with Barlow. He seemed just as enthralled with her. Barlow seemed to accept responsibility for Maddie just as he had with Taryn. He watched her, and let her lead him around, always placing himself between them both and whoever approached. I was totally impressed with this dog.

 
After Maddie had fallen asleep, Jim laid her down in Taryn’s bed before joining the rest of us in the living room. I noticed Ethan glancing at Mr. Dalton, who nodded. I tensed, knowing they were about to tell us about the letter.

  “We got another letter,” Ethan blurted, and I felt Taryn tense up beside me. Being alone with her the past few days, it was so easy to forget about the stupid letters, or this crazy fuckwad who was sending them.

  “Blaine and Matt were both here the night we got it. I decided to tell them what was going on,” Ethan explained.

  I wasn’t bothered that Blaine and Matt knew, actually it made me feel a lot better. Blaine and Matt would help protect Taryn, and this person would have to be an idiot to try to take us all on.

  “Matt suggested we set up a surveillance camera at the mailbox,” Ethan continued warily. “Yesterday it recorded a blue Tahoe making several passes by the camera in a ten-minute period. The person didn’t stop, just drove slowly past it and the driveway.”

  “Did you notify the police?” Jim asked before I could.

  Ethan nodded. “Mitch Hoffman has been assigned to the case. He took the letter just like the others, and I gave him a copy of the video. The plates weren’t readable, and the only thing we can see is that it appears to be a man driving. Mitch said he would send a few more patrols down the road, but he still didn’t have anything to go on.”

  “What did the letter say?” Taryn whispered. I stilled, not sure she should know what the bastard was taunting her with. Ethan and Mr. Dalton both shook their heads.

  “It doesn’t matter,” I said softly to Taryn. She turned a glare at me, then to Ethan.

  “Let me see it, I will not be kept in the dark over this anymore,” she demanded. Ethan sighed, then left toward the study. When he returned, he handed a copy of the letter to Taryn, and we both read.

  When we are done, you will wear my mark too!

  M