Angela's Hope (Wildflowers)

by Banicki, Leah

  "You will try and remember to not spend too much. I only need the basics." Angie reminded her.

  "I will spend as I wish child. No child o' mine is going off to San Francisco without looking like the lady she is." Marie gave her a parental look and that hushed her.

  "I guess she told you." Corinne laughed and handed over a few bolts to get Angie's opinion.

  "I still feel odd accepting a whole wardrobe for nothing." Angie was troubled, so many people being nice to her made her uneasy. There was such a strange thing having so many people start caring about you after so many years of having no one.

  "John and I will take care of you darlin'. Just let us love on you. You are worth it, child." Marie gave her a wink but the words sunk in. Angie felt loved.

  They left the store with a wagon full of supplies. A brand new steamer trunk to fill with clothes, two new pairs of shoes, a few fashionable bonnets and enough ribbons to make more fripperies than Angie had ever owned.

  Chapter 10

  Angela was pounding out a ball of dough. It had risen to a big puffy blob in the yellow ceramic bowl. She had just poured it out over the counter covered in flour. She enjoyed the feeling of her strong arms stretching and punching the dough. It was a good way to get your thoughts in order. Corinne had been working all morning in her lab. She was doing some complicated procedure with boiling devices. Angela didn’t fully understand it but Corinne was sure excited about her harvest and what she could do with it.

  Angela felt the smallest twinge of guilt about making the bread and starting a roast on the stove but she had been in Oregon for enough weeks to start being helpful. Corinne kept trying to come home after working and throwing together some kind of dinner after her long hours. Some nights Marie would bring things over but Corinne had begun to fuss about that too. Corinne did not like the idea of using help, at all. Angela had her own theories on it. Having been a servant for a long time she felt okay with her thoughts.

  Having help doesn’t make you a bad person. How you treat the help is other matter entirely. Angela felt like she was a burden in their house. Another mouth to feed when everyone else had a job, she had no labor to do. Every time she tried to help, Corinne would get her braids in a twist.

  Angela felt bad about thinking that way about her dearest friend, but she was not enjoying her long days with nothing to do. She had decided and worked out some details with Marie early that morning when Corinne left. Corinne did not come back home during lunch because she and Lucas had things to do during the lunch hour.

  Angela had trotted over to John and Marie Harpole’s cabin right after sunrise. Marie was feeding her husband and son Cooper breakfast. Marie smiled broadly and welcomed her to the table.

  “I know you were planning to make dinner for Lucas and Corinne but I want the honor.” Angela had said. Marie nodded and smiled.

  “You getting silly with boredom, huh?” Marie plopped a breakfast plate down before Angela could protest. “Dinner duties are yours. You know what you are making?”

  “I was thinking some homemade rolls and a beef stew. There was fresh beef brought in last night, the root cellar is full of vegetables. I wandered in there yesterday out of curiosity. I cleared out the cobwebs and tidied a bit while I was in there. I just know Corinne wouldn’t like that I did that but I had nothing else to do.”

  “You have been here long enough to start feeling like you need a task. I know some young men in the area have been asking about you.” Marie teased.

  “Not interested in that yet. I have something stirring in me. I will be heading out sometime soon to find my brother in California. But staying with Corinne and Lucas feels strange and foreign to me. I am not meant to be a woman of leisure.” Angela shared.

  “Well, seems to me that you and Corinne need to have an honest talk. She has a life that is a little bit different and for her and Lucas it works. She wants you to feel like family, but she is forgetting something in the desire to not have hired help. She needs the help. You see the need and want to bless her.” Marie gave her husband a kiss as he headed out wordlessly. John Harpole gave a pat on the shoulder to Angela before he left. Cooper followed his dad with a skip in his step.

  Marie sat down next to her and continued with her thoughts. “Corinne is young still, having wealth her whole life has put her in an interesting position. She cares for you like the sister she never had. She also has the drive and characteristics of her father. I see that stubborn determination in her looks all the time. Corinne can never know what it feels like be a servant, and has never known what it feels like to be poor. But she has told me more than once about how useless she felt when on the trail and her first husband would not allow her to be a help to those around her. She was willing and capable, yet denied the right to help her comrades. She is now trying to deny you the right to help because she thinks it will make you feel like a servant. But what it’s really doing is making you feel like a burden.” Marie said.

  Angela nodded and sniffed, feeling a bit emotional about how Marie had laid it out exactly how she felt. Angela had a handkerchief in her pocket and dabbed at the stray tears.

  “I have tried to talk with her but she has stayed pretty firm that I am a guest and not to do any helping.” Angela said once her throat cleared of the emotional knot.

  “Well, if you need to communicate with food that might get the conversation moving in a new direction. I will pray for you both. This is a new situation for both of you, I would call these growing pains.” Marie leaned in next to Angela and pulled her up into a hug. It felt like a motherly hug and Angela let herself be held.

  After the hug ended the women had spoken about household issues and Marie gathered a few fresh herbs and shared them with Angela for her stew.

  Angela left Marie with many ‘thank you’s’ and another motherly hug. Angela felt less like an orphan today. She was starting to feel like family here. The morning mist was burning off but the grass under her feet was crunchy with a frost. Autumn was all around her and she enjoyed the mountain splendor as she walked back to Grant’s Grove.

  She was finishing up with getting the bread rolls in the step top stove that was built in the kitchen. Angela had doubted Corinne had even used it. Angela had found several cobwebs inside. Angela thought about the Temple family who had built this cabin, Mrs. Temple must have really loved cooking. The kitchen was larger than most, with the fancy step top oven built next to the fireplace. Corinne had mentioned that Mrs. Temple liked cooking for the work-hands often.

  Angela took a deep breath and tried to think generous thoughts about the Temple family, praying for their new life and hoping they were blessed and happy. It wasn’t always easy for her but forgiving their son for his actions was good for her soul.

  It had to be forgiven often inside her, for that day bubbled up as a bad memory every time the ache in her leg came again. The nightmare returned of those hours in the dark ravine, bleeding and hurting. Listening to the bugs hover around her as she yelled for help and prayed throughout the night.

  Angela shook off the memory of that dark day and continued with the happy work of chopping vegetables, crushing the herbs and getting the big round pot and hanging it on the hook arm next to the fireplace. The fireplace had a great set of hot red coals that was producing a good heat. She salted the meat chunks and threw them into the round pots. She heard the meat sizzle on the hot pan a few minutes later. She added a little bit of beef lard and stirred the meat around in the pot with a wooden spoon as Edith Sparks had taught her. Getting a few brown edges on the pieces of meat. A few minutes later she added water, the vegetables and some herbs. She had the potatoes peeled, cut them into little chunks and dropped the chunks into the water by the handful. The smell of the meat sizzling had filled the room with a wonderful aroma. The first batch of rolls would be done in a few minutes but Angela kept her hands busy by using hot water and baking soda and scrubbed the counter down, clearing away any remnants of the food mess. She swept the floor free of fl
our and any vegetables that had escaped the countertop where she had worked.

  She felt happy and fulfilled, pulling up a chair and resting. She continued watching the kitchen fire contentedly until the rolls were done. Then she put in another batch and saw that the stew was beginning to bubble, such a lovely feeling.

  “I made that.” Angela said to the empty room. She enjoyed her feeling of accomplishment for the rest of the afternoon.

  * * * * *

  “Smells amazing in here.” Lucas said as he opened the front door a few minutes after six o’clock. He turned and watched Corinne come in behind him. Corinne looked surprised when she came in too.

  “Hello Grants.” Angela said with a bit of trepidation. She had the dining table set, the rolls placed in a basket and butter and jam set out. There were two pies sitting and cooling in the window. “Marie brought the pies, she makes peach pies like nothing else on earth.” Angela was waiting for them to say something.

  “Thank You Angela, this looks amazing.” Lucas broke the awkward moment. He walked over to the washstand and washed his hands.

  “You don’t need to feed us, Angela.” Corinne looked confused, almost hurt.

  “I know, I wanted to do something nice for you both. For taking such good care of me.” Angela said and approached her friend. She wanted this to go smoothly but was ready for the serious talk.

  “I don’t feel right about this.” Corinne sat down in a chair and she teared up.

  Angela sighed, knowing this was getting complicated faster than she expected.

  “I know, but I had a good talk with Marie and I really need to communicate something to you.” Angela took a deep breath and tried to ignore the look of pain on Corinne’s face. She continued, “The way I feel about you crossed the servant-master relationship a long time ago. I want to consider you as a sister. I love you as family. You fear that I will forever feel like a servant to you, but I do not. Very simply, I wanted to make you dinner as a loving gesture, and to have a task. I stay in your home, like family and have capable hands and nothing to do.” Angela said.

  “But I want you to feel relaxed.” Corinne said. Lucas sat next to his wife and held her hand.

  “Did you feel relaxed when Andrew forbid you from helping on the trail?” Angela wanted to pull the words back when she saw the look of horror cross Corinne’s face. She burst into fresh tears.

  Angela mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry’ to Lucas who then shook his head. He didn’t seem upset at all. Just supportive and letting them have their talk. Angela felt a new respect for her friend’s husband.

  Corinne finally stopped crying and wiped away the tears. She took a few deep breaths before she spoke. “I am sorry Angela.” She looked like she was going to tear up again but with a big swallow she held it back.

  “You don’t need to apologize, we just need to work out a life here. I feel awkward living with you and never being allowed to be helpful. Not as an obligation but as a way to say thank you.” Angela finished her speech and held out the chair.

  She smiled as Corinne settled in at the table and allowed Angela to do what she had planned. The meal went well and soon there was laughter around the table as they all enjoyed the meal together, as equals.

  Angela let Corinne and Lucas do the cleaning up and headed off to her room. She wanted to leave them both alone tonight. She wanted some time to think to herself. She would be leaving soon. She wanted to go through her things a bit tonight and tomorrow; start to get serious about packing. She would be going to town tomorrow to talk with Clive about details. She wanted to have her head cleared of all her fears and doubts with a little quiet time and prayer that night.

  * * * * *

  “We can leave on Monday. The steamship, The Mariana, is coming into port on Sunday and heading back out early Monday morning. You can stay at the hotel in town to get an early start if ya wish.” Clive told her the next day at the store counter. The store was empty of customers and Clive just pulled up two stools for them to sit on.

  “The hotel sounds like a good idea.” Angela said in her small voice. Clive was watching her carefully.

  “You will have your own bunk and it will take several days at least to get to our location. If the wind is mild it will shorter. If the wind is gusty it takes longer. These things vary.” Clive said with a shrug.

  Angela laughed at his easy way of acceptance. She had a hundred questions floating through her mind but suddenly felt shy of asking any.

  “You look nervous, chile’.” Clive stated with an eyebrow raised.

  “Yessir.” Angela said simply. “Not a big fan of boats.”

  “Me neither child. I prefer the ground under my feet. But this is the easiest and best way to get to California safely, this time of year.” Clive was very matter of fact, it actually helped her fears.

  “I can accept that. I appreciate that you will be with me.” Angela finally said and saw the smile that spread across Clive’s face. It was infectious and she smiled back.

  “Would not have of dreamed of not taggin’ along.” Clive made a harrumph noise that was comical. Clive stood up and grabbed his stool and settled it behind the counter.

  Angela assumed he had sat still for too long and needed to gad about the place. He straightened a few things then after he made a sharp whistle toward the back of the place. His son, Jedediah, everyone called JQ, popped out from the warehouse. He looked like Clive but for a few less gray hairs.

  “This is Angela, they will be staying with your boy Gabe and his wife Amber.” Clive said with a friendly introduction. “This is my firstborn JQ.”

  “Ah, that is fine. Amber will be glad for the company, that’s for certain.” JQ shook her hand with a firm handshake and a smile that matched his father’s. “My wife will be glad to meet you when you come back to Oregon. She is busy this week canning and socializing with the church women.” JQ shook his head at Clive.

  “My kitchen was so hot yesterday my head nearly popped off. It smelled of stewed tomatoes, onions and peaches, it didn’t combine well. I might invite myself to your place for supper tonight.” JQ said animatedly.

  “Not sure my stomach could handle that either.” Clive said with a grimace.

  “Mine turned the moment I got home last night. Still feeling a bit sour from the memory.” JQ shared. His frown was exaggerated and Angela fought off the giggles.

  Angela was already enjoying the banter between father and son.

  “How is it possible you have a grandson old enough to be married?” Angela asked to see how they would both respond.

  “Well, since you seem old enough to know about the birds and the bees, I figure you know how. But as my unusual vigor and handsome youthful appearance has fooled many onlookers I have had to explain this before.” Clive lifted his hat and did a quick vain stroke of his salt and pepper locks before settling back on his head. “I had J.Q. when my bride and I were quite young. We moved out west and she was settled here and I set traps all up and down the coast while she manned the Hudson Bay store nearer to the coast. J.Q. and his brother were 8 and 10 when their ma passed on of yellow fever, some of the Indians had it and she was always checking on the families. She had such a loving heart. The boys and I made do for a while until we headed back east and settled in Indiana when I had remarried again. I got the itch to come west again and had a few job offers from the government to translate and communicate with some bureaucrats in Washington. I also did some peace talkin’ with a few tribes I was in good relations with.

  We came back and resettled in the West and my sons help me now with the stores I have spread along the coast. I miss trappin’ sometimes. It is a quiet, peaceful way to live. The forest being a mysterious thing to tame, but running my stores and keeping my family gainfully employed is always a challenge.” Clive shared.

  J.Q. Harrumphed. “Gainfully employed… We allow you to do what you want to do, which is to gallivant around like a stray dog.” J.Q. winked at Angela and was rewarded with a smile.
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  “Stray dog.” Clive huffed. He had no quippy comeback so he let it drop, he wasn’t truly offended. Just amused that his son had him pegged.

  Angela left after getting more details from Clive about the trip they would be taking in a few days. She felt confident that Clive knew what he was doing. She could trust him to keep her safe.

  She had some goodbyes to say before she left, also some packing to do and had a few walks to take before she went away.. She wanted to take Oregon with her because she knew this was that closest thing to home she had had in way too long.

  * * * * *

  The church was newly built and sturdy, the community pitched in together and built it as a schoolhouse for those on the outskirts of town. The rural community liked its location just on the edge of town. It was easier for the children to get there and the family thought the location for church services was a good one too. They didn’t have to go all the way into town.

  Angela enjoyed the preaching from the minister, Pastor Whittlan. He was witty and charming in his style and wasn’t one to yell as he preached. Corinne and Lucas sat in the same row with the Chelsea and Russell. Brody was trying to make mischief but with so many family members in the row he wasn’t allowed much trouble. He ended up in Angela’s lap for at least half the service. He was a little squirmy at first but Angela was finally able to concentrate on the service.

  The sermon was a one that was very practical about taking the time to lean on God and tell him your troubles. Angela felt compelled to spend more time in prayer and trusting God to guide her steps. She was enjoying the camaraderie of the small church and since she knew so many people already from the extended family of Corinne, she fit right in. She knew she was leaving the next day and had that twinge of regret that she would be halting the growth she had begun in this community.