Beyond the Masks (Beyond Love Series Book 1)

by Nicky F. Grant

  “There’s so much to tell you. But it’s hard to know where to start.”

  “How about the beginning,” she offered.

  He swallowed, the pain of revealing his past faults shutting down his heart. “Okay. Let me show you.” He held out his hand.

  “Where are we going?”

  “To my past.”

  Shane’s eyes fluttered opened as her hair moved past her shoulder. Strong fingers brushed her cheek.

  “Shane, wake up.”

  “What time is it?” She stretched her cramped muscles.

  “After one.”

  “How long was I out?”

  “About an hour. Come.”

  She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and slipped her hand into his. The winter chill had picked up, and he wrapped a large coat around her. Anise and cloves crept into her nose, and any apprehension faded to calm.

  “Where are we?”

  A mansion spanned her sight. Several chimneys decorated the steepled rooftop. The outside was quaint, but given the size, she knew it was anything but.

  His large hand covered hers as he led her behind the house that overlooked a harbor. The inlet had frozen over, and the full moon lit the sky enough to show the vast waters creeping along the border of the property. In the dark glow of the moon, an ominous feeling slithered along her spine. Cold and empty. She tugged the coat panels tighter.

  “What is this place?”

  He guided them to a pier leading over the water. Once they reached the end, he leaned on the railing, letting go of her hand. A long exhale turned his breath into a mist before disappearing.

  “I grew up here.”

  “In this house?” She gaped over the grounds of the massive estate. She placed her hand in the crook of his arm.

  “I always thought Nicolette would too.” His voice was weak.

  “Tell me about her.”

  “She was my world.” He stopped as his eyes glistened in the moonlight. “She was my…everything.”

  She only knew the elements of his past referenced in his background report, which had been laid out in black and white; she knew there was color behind his story.

  Rapid heartbeats thumped through his chest when he hugged her. He was afraid. She wrapped her arms around his waist under his suit jacket.

  “Her laugh. God. Her laugh was so innocent and could cut through me.” Tears pooled in her eyes. “Even on the worst days, she brought me light. She loved me unconditionally. Something no one ever did.”

  Remaining quiet for fear he would stop, she waited. Silent support given through her stroking hands along his back.

  “Nicolette,” he breathed out. “She was my daughter, and I killed her.”

  24

  Shane’s body stiffened. The admission echoed in her head. I killed her. She flinched, ready to run, but Gavin held her close, his heart thumping through his chest as his body shook to its core.

  “Please, don’t run.” Droplets of wetness hit the crown of her head. “Please,” he begged.

  “Okay…okay,” she whispered. Was he capable of intentional harm?

  “I was fucked up, Shane. This life you see, the house, the family, and the money. I thought”—he swallowed—“I was invincible. I had it all.”

  She licked her lips, tasting the salt from her tears.

  “Nicolette’s mother and I…” He stopped. “That was Sarah you saw at the restaurant.”

  “Oh...” She remembered the way Sarah’s eyes had spilled tears as she shuffled to the exit.

  “I didn’t pick up Nicolette from her friend’s house like I said I would. What kind of father forgets his own child?” he asked himself as his body shuddered involuntarily.

  His eyes projected the emotions of a tortured soul. “Go on,” she encouraged.

  He turned to the water and gripped the railings. “I was angry with Sarah for blaming me for our problems. She was right. I wasn’t ready to be a father and resented her for it. I wanted to live my life and she…they were holding me back. Nicolette was the only thing keeping us together.”

  The moonlight glittered off his damp cheeks. She could feel his pain, reliving the last time he saw his daughter. A time he’d buried away to never be spoken of.

  “I was driving too fast as we fought and took a turn too quickly. The car fishtailed, and a truck came from the opposite direction and hit the back end of the car.” He wailed, leaning over the iron rails. His fingers fisted the roots of his hair as if the physical pain would alleviate the emotional demons. “They said she didn’t suffer. They said it was fast. And I want to believe them, I do…but my child, my baby...”

  The tears became unstoppable. She cried with him as they crumpled to the ground. Her fingers glided through his silky hair as he fell against her chest. His weakened arms wrapped around her waist.

  As his sobs slowed, she said, “Gavin, you can’t keep beating yourself up. You’ve paid your penance.”

  He lifted his head, his eyes reflecting a gray desolation in the moonlight. “I haven’t, and she would want it that way.”

  “No, she wouldn’t. She would want you to live your life. For her. While embracing the wonderful things that bonded you, not clinging to the nightmare that ripped you apart.”

  “Why are you…?” His question was a whisper through quivering lips.

  “What?”

  “Not running away.” He closed his eyes.

  “Look at me. You didn’t kill her. It was an accident. I can’t begin to understand the magnitude of your loss. And I know you need to deal with this in your own time. But what I can do is help you see the person I see. It made you stronger and in control. You are successful and determined. Your life could have taken a different spin.” His eyes softened. “And had it not been for your past...” She paused. “I might not have met you.”

  Her heart squeezed at the thought. What if she’d never met him? Even though he still had secrets, she would view them as discoveries meant to understand a person, not condemn them.

  The cold concrete dug into her knees, the discomfort insignificant when compared to the torment he was going through. She grabbed his face and wiped the wet tears. Tenderly, her chilled lips grazed his, still stiff and unyielding. She coaxed him, and he melted into the gentle slant of her mouth.

  She could feel the moment he let go. A sweet connection bound them together. This man was broken, and she would heal him. She showed him acceptance with each swipe of her tongue, telling him he would survive this with her help.

  As he slid her into his lap, his hand fisted her hair. Finally, he broke the kiss and settled his face against her neck.

  “Thank you,” he whispered an exhalation of peace.

  The buzzing of an alarm woke Shane, and she quickly silenced it. As the light filtered through the curtains, she found Gavin still sleeping, his arm slung over his tortured, beautiful face while the other hand lightly fisted the sheet. His brow furrowed, twitching at whatever dream had him.

  She removed the comforter and padded out of the bedroom with her phone. The display read nine o’clock. A later time than usual, but time much needed to settle down from the evening prior. She dialed David’s number.

  “Doll. Where are you?” he asked. Steady typing on his computer continued through the receiver.

  “I’m home. Long night.” She yawned.

  “Right. Sure.” His business-like tone forced her to cut to the chase.

  “What’s going on?”

  The keystrokes stopped. She winced. “Nothing, Shane.”

  “Okay, I was doll a minute ago, and now I am my formal first name. You’re mad.” She scooped grounds into the coffee maker and removed two mugs from the cabinet.

  “Of course, I’m mad. And worried. Is he with you?”

  “Yes,” she sighed. “And if it makes you feel any better, he told me about his past.”

  He let out a whistle. “Okay, so what did he say?”

  “I can’t tell you.”

  “What? Seriousl
y?”

  “You need to understand, it’s not my story to tell. I can’t share it. Not yet.”

  A frustrated sound escaped him. “Jacob called for you.”

  “God, what did he want?”

  “Don’t sound so disappointed. He said to call him. Something happen? You never take a tone with him.”

  “He overstepped last night.” She pinched the bridge of her nose as she leaned back against the counter. “If he calls again, tell him I don’t want to speak to him. He’ll know why.”

  “Will do, boss,” he said shortly.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You’ve changed, Shane. What is it with you? It’s like you’ve lost your ever-loving mind. But whatever, you know where I stand with all of this,” he chirped.

  Her chest tightened. The last thing she wanted was a lecture. Slamming down the carton of creamer, she said, “Look, David. I love you more than anything, and if I could share this, I would. Give me time, okay?”

  A long pause. “Fine. What are you doing today?”

  “Thank you. Please rearrange my meetings. If it can wait till Monday or Tuesday, make it happen.”

  The clicking of his mouse indicated he was searching her agenda. “Doesn’t look like anything is pressing. What about Mr. Compelling?” The smart-ass comment didn’t escape her.

  “I’ll wake him and have him call Tasha to figure it out.” She poured the coffee over the creamer. “I love you.”

  “Put the pouty lip away. I can feel it over the phone.”

  She smiled. “Come over tonight after work?”

  “Only if you promise to drop the crazy act and tell me what the hell is going on.”

  “Okay. I promise.”

  She killed the call and flipped through her missed messages. Three from Jacob this morning. She groaned, tossed the phone onto the counter, snatched the coffee, and headed to the bedroom.

  She stood over Gavin as his breathing remained slow and deep. He’d shifted to his stomach, exposing his wide, muscular back. An arm was slung around her pillow as he dozed soundly. Handsome and peaceful. A rare moment.

  She set the steaming cups on the nightstand and climbed back into bed. She knew she should wake him, but given the hard evening, she waited a little longer. They had driven back in near silence, and she invited him to stay. He didn’t protest.

  They had simply fallen into a deep sleep as he held her tightly as if he feared she would slip away in the night. It felt wonderful to be needed, something she hadn’t experienced in a long time. It was wonderful to finally be there for someone.

  Her pulse quickened. She’d fallen for him. Hard. But did she love him?

  Her fingers swept along his furrowed brow and tears threatened as she relived the story of Nicolette. She couldn’t imagine the feeling of losing a child, especially because of one’s own mistakes.

  As she smoothed her palm down the side of his torso, he lazily opened his bloodshot eyes. But his gaze gave way to his innermost vulnerability, something she knew no other woman had ever witnessed.

  He rolled to his back, took her hand, and pulled her on top of him, not saying a word or breaking eye contact. She straddled him. His fingers brushed along the side of her face.

  “You are so beautiful. I can’t explain how you make me feel,” he whispered, pulling her forehead to meet his. “I’ve never…”

  “Shhh. It’s okay. I’m here.”

  “Kiss me, Shane. I need to taste you. I want to feel it all.” She met his lips. His hands stroked her back as his tongue licked the inside of her mouth, each pass becoming stronger with need.

  Desire percolated in her veins. He moved his hands under the silk chemise. Light touches made her shudder in delight as her core melted with anticipation. His erection grew along her cleft with each pained kiss. Stripping her chemise, he wrapped her in his embrace. Warm skin to warm skin. Her back arched, and his hot mouth covered a nipple. The heat scorched the tender tip.

  “More, please.” Her eyes rolled back from his unapologetic torture on her flesh.

  His other hand pinched the other nipple, sending lightning to her sex. Her hips undulated and her sex rubbed against his long, thick shaft, the friction causing pleasure to shoot through her.

  “Take me.”

  He flipped her onto her back, positioning his broad body between her thighs. He ran his knuckles down her cheeks, causing her eyes to flutter open. His blue eyes were soft, like an ocean breeze, revealing a calm she’d never witnessed.

  “I need you. All of you. Don’t leave me.” He squeezed his eyes shut.

  “I won’t.”

  His kiss became harder, and he pushed his tongue into her mouth, licking, tasting, and swallowing her whole. His hand slid up her inner thigh, stopping where she needed him to ease her ache. He broke the kiss and secured her wrists above her head with his free hand. His eyes turned from calm breeze to carnal want, causing her skin to tingle. Gavin the Dominant appeared ready to claim what was his.

  “Tell me you’re mine,” he gritted, slowly inserting two fingers into her wet slit.

  Her mouth opened as he rubbed her inner walls with delicate precision and pressure. “I-I…”

  “Tell me, Shane.” The urgency in his voice betrayed his otherwise controlled appearance. The sinful torture to her bundle of nerves promised bliss as his thumb pushed her clitoris and circled.

  “Gavin…I…uh…” She closed her eyes as he inserted another finger, stretching her wider. She moved her hips to meet his hand, losing thought as he moaned his appreciation of her body. One thrust. Two. Climbing to the heights of orgasm with each stroke until he stopped.

  He removed his boxers with his free hand while still gripping her wrists. Their need built more as his eyes pierced into hers. He aimed the crown of his cock at her opening and waited.

  “Yes, please.”

  “I need to know. Tell me.”

  “Take me, please,” She twisted out of his hold and grabbed for his hips. He reestablished her wrists over her head.

  “Do you want this?” He pushed in an inch. Perspiration glistened on his chest.

  Pure, agonizing bliss flushed her body. “So much.”

  “Do you want me?” He slid out, leaving a void desperately needing to be filled. He ran his large palm along her neck, holding it firmly in place, sending a lightning bolt to her stomach. “Open your damn eyes.”

  He applied the slightest pressure around her neck. Catching her breath, she opened her eyes as he slowly pushed in an inch. Her pussy clenched with her need to feel the fullness of his cock.

  “Yes, Gavin. I want you.”

  “Then fucking tell me.” He left her empty again.

  Sweat beaded on his forehead, a sign he hung on by a thread. She controlled the switch. All she had to do was obey. His gaze, harsh and powerful, claimed her mind.

  Her body trembled as she attempted to push her hips against him, but he held her still. His implacable determination, his mere presence, and his unbelievably hard body made her want to submit it all to him. The trust he’d bestowed in her last evening was a gift she wouldn’t take for granted.

  She tore her wrists from his grasp to touch his face. “I want it all. I want your love, your life, your trust. I am yours,” she breathed out in a rush.

  He thrust in to the hilt with such force she screamed while he groaned from the relief of being wrapped by her wet core.

  “God, Shane.” He rolled his hips as the air continued to leave her body. Letting go of her throat, he spread her thighs wider. “Fuck…So. Fucking. Deep. Say it again,” he growled.

  “I’m yours.”

  He pummeled her over and over. Any shred of restraint gone. “You. Are. Mine.” He spoke through clenched teeth, claiming her, his balls slapping her buttocks with each hard plunge of his glorious cock.

  At his words, she let herself go. You are mine. Her stomach knotted from the pleasure of his cock rubbing the bundle of nerves he hit with each thrust. She tensed around the sweet inv
asion. Her vision blurred as the fog rolled in. The white behind her eyes took her from the reality of what surrounded them.

  “You want to come for me, baby?”

  He found her clit and pushed, sending her into oblivion. She screamed his name as he continued to chase his release. Groaning, his body stiffened, hands squeezing her thighs so tight they would surely mark her. Hot jets of come filled her endlessly, searing her insides as though he’d branded her. Claiming her as his.

  He shuddered and toppled over her, perspiration from his neck and face mixing with hers, both breathing heavily as he nudged her nose with his. He moved a strand of sweat-soaked hair from her brow as he gazed into her eyes.

  “I love you, Shane. No matter what, please know I love you.”

  Shane pushed a brush through her hair, and thoughts swarmed as she sat at the vanity in her room. Gavin had come so far overnight, revealing the dark past haunting him. And she loved him for telling her. He’d finally brought something to the table they could build upon. However, she was haunted by his caveat: No matter what.

  The room chilled, and she closed the robe around her. Maybe he had more secrets, things he felt she couldn’t live with. There was no doubt it would be a complicated relationship at first, and she wanted to believe they could get through it.

  Gavin’s voice echoed from the home office as she padded across the living room. She followed the deep timbre of his voice.

  “Yes, it’s done…where tonight...?”

  She leaned on the doorjamb. As he faced the windows, his body flexed taut beneath a white collared shirt and dark gray pants. His face was in his hand, until he ran his fingers through his hair.

  “Fine. I’ll see you there.” He ended the call and turned. Placing the phone in his pocket, he met her halfway. His knuckles grazed her cheeks as he set a hard, chaste kiss on her lips.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  He backed away, hands falling to his sides. Blue eyes searched hers, and his jaw tightened. She could swear a glimmer of fear flashed quickly across his eyes. “Yeah.”