This Savage Love: A Bad Boy Romance Boxed Set

by Kathryn Thomas

  Keith shook his head. He wasn’t moving on, he told himself. This was temporary, a distraction that needed to be handled before it disappeared from his life entirely. As Kristina had said a few days ago, they could simply enjoy it while it lasted. She seemed to be under no delusions that their relationship was temporary, and Keith wondered why he wasn’t happier about that fact.

  He leaned in and took in the smell of her. She smelled of him, and that made his dick stiffen slightly. It wasn’t about ownership. It was just about the simple fact of intimacy. The bed was too small for the two of them, but somehow, they had managed to fit both their bodies into it. The bed at his mother’s house had been bigger, but still, Keith preferred his own.

  Kristina had started school on Tuesday, and with that she had also taken to staying over at Keith’s place each night. He wasn’t sure what excuse she had given Marie, and he didn’t care to ask. The only thing that he cared to know was that she spent her nights with him. He knew that she needed to be watched because Kovic and his crew were no small threat. Instead of assigning someone to look out for Kristina, Keith had assigned himself the task. It was the perfect excuse, but Keith didn’t delude himself that it was anything other than an excuse.

  Still, they had both agreed that their time together was temporary. It was born out of a necessity that neither could avoid, and to that end, Keith was at least somewhat satisfied. He was not guilty of leading Kristina on in any case. She stirred in her sleep as she angled her body towards him. He steadied her with his hand and she sighed once and fell back into sleep. Keith watched the way her eyelashes fluttered and he knew instantly that she was dreaming. Natalie had done the same thing…and it seemed as though that had been a lifetime ago.

  Instinctively, Keith looked down at his tattoo of Natalie’s name imprinted on his skin. He remembered the day he got the tattoo; it had been the day of her funeral, after the service had been completed. He had said goodbye to all the mourners and left in silence, waving off his friends’ offers to accompany him. He had found a quiet tattoo parlor close by, and within the hour, he had a new tattoo and a barrage of memories that he knew would haunt him throughout his life.

  “What are you thinking about?” Kristina’s voice cut through his thoughts. He looked down to realize that she was awake and watching his face carefully. Her hand reached up and stroked his cheek gently. “You were deep in thought,” she said.

  “I… was just thinking about… my first days as a biker,” Keith said, changing his line of thought so that he could share something with her.

  “You were young?” Kristina asked.

  “I was fifteen,” Keith replied. “I didn’t ride a bike until almost a year later though.”

  “How come?” Kristina asked.

  “Miles’s father,” Keith replied. “He told me there was something I needed to learn before I rode.”

  “What was that?”

  “How to be a man,” Keith said with a smile. “He was very particular about that.”

  “You were fond of him?” Kristina asked.

  “He was the father I never had,” Keith replied.

  “He died, didn’t he?”

  “Years ago,” Keith nodded. “It was right after his death that Miles and I started up Seton and Lee. We had his blessing though… and that went a long way.”

  “How did he die?” Kristina asked.

  “Cancer,” Keith replied softly.

  “He couldn’t be treated?”

  “He didn’t want to be,” Keith replied. “He told us that he wanted to spend the last few years of his life feeling… free. He didn’t want to be in and out of hospitals until he finally died. So we respected his decision and let him die the way he wanted to.”

  “Was he the founder of the Iron Dragons?”

  Keith nodded. “He was the reason I had the strength to stand up to my father.”

  Kristina grew quiet for a moment. “How did he give you strength?”

  “He led by example,” Keith said. “He showed me that fear could be overcome for a higher purpose. My purpose was putting my father in his place and kicking him out of our lives.”

  “How old were you when you finally… managed to do that?”

  “Seventeen, I think,” Keith replied. “I don’t remember exactly.”

  “Wow,” Kristina said and her voice grew soft.

  “What is it?” Keith asked, curious about the look in her eye.

  “No, it’s just… my adolescence was very different to yours,” Kristina explained. “I was dealing with boyfriends and sweet sixteen parties and changing group dynamics. I didn’t have to worry about… anything real.”

  “It was real for you,” Keith said.

  Kristina smiled. “It’s sweet of you to say so… but we both know that when it comes to growing up… you had me beat.”

  “I wasn’t aware this was a competition?”

  “It’s not,” Kristina said with a sigh. “It’s just that sometimes… I can’t help comparing and then…”

  “What?”

  “I don’t know… I just feel kind of… guilty…”

  “Guilty?” Keith repeated. “For what? Having a better life than mine?”

  “Well… I suppose,” Kristina conceded.

  “You have nothing to feel guilty about,” Keith said. “If I could have chosen a life like yours, I would have.”

  “Really?” Kristina asked with her eyebrows raised.

  “Growing up… sure I would have,” Keith nodded. “Any alternate life where I could have avoided seeing my mother hurt and crying half the time… I would have chosen.”

  “Yeah,” Kristina nodded. “Of course… stupid question really.”

  “You’ve never really told me what your childhood was like,” Keith said.

  “I thought I did,” Kristina said.

  “I know that your mother is a doctor and your father is a lawyer,” Keith said. “But that’s about it.”

  “Oh,” Kristina said, as she sat up with the sheets wrapped around her chest so that Keith could only see the outline of her breasts. “Well… to be honest my childhood was a good one. I mean, I can’t complain.”

  “You don’t sound convincing,” Keith said, raising his eyebrows at her.

  Kristina sighed. “I just…”

  “Feel like anything you tell me will sound petty compared to my sordid past?” Keith guessed.

  Kristina smiled. “I guess so.”

  “Tell me,” Keith insisted.

  Kristina looked at him for a second, as though she were still considering if she should share her life with him or not. “I was kind of a lonely child,” she said. “My parents were ambitious, and they were the kind of people who didn’t stop for anything… not even their own child.”

  “They weren’t around much?”

  “They weren’t around at all,” Kristina said. “I’ve lost count of how many plays and performance the two of them have missed. Sometimes I wondered why they had me at all. It never seemed like they really wanted a child in the first place.”

  “You think you were an accident?” Keith asked.

  “That would have been the simpler explanation,” Kristina said. “But my mother told me that she and my dad tried for two years before they conceived me, so I couldn’t possibly have been an accident. I think it’s more likely that they just felt as though they had to.”

  “Had to?” Keith asked, scrunching up his brows.

  “Sometimes I feel as though people get so caught up in what they think they’re supposed to do that they forget what they actually want. There’s this convention that people have been taught is the right way to go about things. Go to school, go to college, get a job, get married, and have kids. I think my parents were just completing the convention.”

  Keith listened to her talk, and he wondered if that were true. “I find that hard to believe.”

  “Of course you would,” Kristina said with passion. “You live your life the way you want to. You have the fr
eedom to choose and an attitude that doesn’t take into account what other people think. You know it’s not like that for many other people.”

  “Are you including yourself in that category?”

  “I am actually,” Kristina nodded. “I’m following the convention perfectly. I went to school, I got good grades, now I’m in college, and soon I’ll have graduated and I’ll be working somewhere in the city.”

  “And then you’ll meet some man and marry him,” Keith said, thinking about the life he had imagined for Kristina not long ago. Apparently she had seen the same things in her future.

  “Yes,” Kristina nodded. “I probably will… and then I’ll have children and I’ll have done exactly what my parents did in the same order with no surprises in between.”

  “I don’t know about that,” Keith said skeptically.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well… you are sleeping with a man I’m sure your parents would never approve of,” Keith said. “I’m sure that counts as a surprise.”

  Kristina laughed and Keith felt the light shine out of her eyes. That was a trait she shared with Natalie. Kristina reached out and touched his face again. “I know you’re thinking of her when you look at me like that,” she said unexpectedly, and Keith felt himself jerk back slightly by the mention of her.

  “What?”

  “It’s ok that you think about her, you know,” Kristina said softly. “Why should you have to forget about someone you loved just because you happen to meet new people?"

  Keith was staggered by her understanding, but he also didn’t want to talk about Natalie. It was too close to home, and in many ways, the wound was still fresh for him. “I’m not thinking of anyone,” he denied before he could stop himself. He felt as though it was the best way to end the conversation. He saw Kristina’s eyes dull, as though his refusal to talk to her had hurt her in some way. Keith disentangled himself from the sheets, and he got out of bed to get dressed.

  “You have class in a little while?”

  “In an hour,” Kristina nodded.

  “Shouldn’t you be getting ready?”

  “I was just about to,” Kristina said.

  They dressed in silence and Keith dropped Kristina off at her class. He watched her walk into the building with her bag strapped across her back and her hair flying loose around her face. She was a stranger to him. Her world was strange to him, and yet, it staggered Keith how well she seemed to understand him. He turned from his thoughts and revved his engine. Those thoughts were dangerous, and Keith knew he needed to stay away from them. Especially because at the end of all of this, he knew he had to walk away and leave Kristina behind.

  Chapter Twenty One

  Kristina

  “Kristina?”

  “Sorry,” Kristina replied, as she watched Marie slip into the seat next to her. Literature was the only subject the two of them shared and more often than not they walked to class together. “I was somewhere else.”

  “Thinking of Keith Lee, you mean,” Marie said shrewdly.

  “What makes you think I was thinking of him?” Kristina asked defensively.

  “Well, seeing as how he dropped you off here a few minutes ago, I figure that was a good guess,” Marie said, as she raised one eyebrow accusingly.

  “Oh,” Kristina said sheepishly. “You saw that did you?”

  “Yes, I saw that,” Marie said quickly. “But if I’m being completely honest, I didn’t need proof at all. I guessed that you’d been seeing a lot of him lately.”

  Kristina didn’t bother denying it; a part of her didn’t want to have to explain herself anymore. She was a grown woman and she had every right to spend time with whomever she decided she wanted to. “I guess I have,” she said with a shrug.

  “So you are dating him then?” Marie pressed.

  “Not really,” Kristina said, trying to downplay it. “We’re just spending… time together.”

  “Are the two of you having sex?” Marie asked bluntly.

  Kristina thought about lying, but then she thought better of it. “Yes,” she said, “we are.”

  “And you’re sticking to the whole ‘we’re not dating’ routine?” Marie asked skeptically.

  “I’m not his girlfriend and he’s not my boyfriend,” Kristina clarified. “But we do like fucking each other…”

  “So what you’re saying is this is just… a friends with benefits kind of deal?”

  “I guess there’s no other way to say it,” Kristina conceded.

  Marie leaned back in her seat and took that in. “And after graduation…?”

  “I will move on with my life, and he will move on with his,” Kristina said with finality.

  Marie regarded her carefully for a moment and then she nodded. “Ok.”

  “Ok?” Kristina said in surprise.

  Marie sighed. “I warned you, I advised you,” she started. “That’s all I can do. You’re a big girl and you’re capable of making your own decisions. Obviously nothing I’ve said so far has made any kind of impact, so I’m going to have to deal with the fact that this is something you have to do for some reason.”

  “Thanks, Marie,” Kristina said sincerely. “It is.”

  “I just have one question,” Marie said.

  “Shoot,” Kristina nodded.

  “Why is this something you just have to do?”

  Kristina took a moment to think about it. “I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone like Keith ever again in my life.”

  “That’s it?”

  “It’s more complicated than that,” Kristina said. “It’s just difficult to explain. The rest of my life is going to be filled with straight-laced guys with good boy haircuts and stable jobs that are boring as hell. I just want to know what it feels like to be with someone unpredictable and dangerous and surprising.”

  “That’s very… primitive of you,” Marie said.

  “I guess so,” Kristina said. “But he brings out the animal in me.”

  “Whoa,” Marie said, as she raised her eyebrows. “Are we talking sex now?”

  Kristina laughed. “I guess so.”

  “Good,” Marie said. “Because I would like details.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Hell yeah,” Marie said. “Let me live vicariously through you.”

  “Do you even want to live vicariously through me?” Kristina demanded.

  “Well, not in this particular case,” Marie conceded, “but I would like one torrid night of meaningless sex with someone who looked like Keith.”

  “Really?” Kristina said, surprised by that.

  “Oh, don’t look so surprised,” Marie said, sounding annoyed. “I have the need for a little adventure from time to time, too… I just don’t act on it quite as much as you do. If it weren’t for Keith’s criminal ties, I would have actually encouraged you to explore the relationship instead of warning you against it.”

  Kristina smiled. “Good to know.”

  “Well?” Marie demanded impatiently.

  “Well what?”

  “Since I’ve decided to step back and stop bugging you about how much time you’re spending with a criminal, I’m going to insist that you at the very least tell me how good he is in bed.”

  Kristina laughed, but she realized suddenly that she missed sharing stuff with Marie about her personal life. She had been so tight lipped about it in the last few weeks that it was a relief to speak freely about the more intimate details of her relationship with Keith.

  “Well, first of all… he’s amazing!” Kristina said, sighing in the process. “I mean… he doesn’t even have to try. I’m wet before he even touches me.”

  Marie raised her eyebrows.

  “That is not even an exaggeration,” Kristina said.

  “Is he gentle, rough?” Marie pressed.

  “He can be both,” Kristina answered. “Sometimes it’s both at the same time. But I love it when he handles me…. I know it seems like an oxymoron, but I actually feel this
… weird sense of freedom.”