The Fiery Cross

by Diana Gabaldon

  There was no world outside this small confine, he told himself. Scotland was gone, the Colonies were going-what lay ahead he could only dimly imagine from the things Brianna told him. The only reality was the woman held fast in his arms; his children and grandchildren, his tenants and servants-these were the gifts that God had given to him; his to harbor, his to protect.

  The mountainside lay dark and quiet, but he could feel them there all round him, trusting him to see them safe. If God had given him this trust, surely He would also grant the strength to keep it.

  He was becoming aroused by the habit of close contact, his rising cock uncomfortably trapped. He wanted her, had been wanting for days, the urge pushed aside in, the bustle of the Gathering. The dull ache in his balls echoed what he thought must be the ache in her womb.

  He had taken her in the midst of her courses now and then, when the two of them had wanted too urgently for waiting. He had found it messy and disturbing, but exciting too, leaving him with a faint sense of shame that was not en-

  164 Diana Gabaldon

  tirely unpleasant. Now was not the time or place for it, of course, but the memory of other times and other places made him shift, twisting away from her, not to trouble her with the bodily evidence of his thoughts.

  Yet what he felt now was not lust-not quite. Nor was it even the need of her, the wanting of soul's company. He wished to cover her with his body, possess her-for if he could do that, he could pretend to himself that she was safe. Covering her so, joined in one body, he might protect her. Or so he felt, even knowing how senseless the feeling was.

  He had stiffened, his body tensing involuntarily with his thoughts. Claire stirred, and reached back with one hand. She laid it on his leg, let it lie for a moment, then reached gently farther up, in drowsy question.

  He bent his head, put his lips behind her ear. Said what he was thinking, without thought.

  "Nothing will harm ye while there is breath in my body, a nigbean donn. Nothing."

  "I know," she said. Her limbs went slowly slack, her breathing eased, and the soft round of her belly swelled under his palm as she melted into sleep. Her hand stayed on him, covering him. He lay stiff and wide awake, long after the watch fire had been quenched by the rain.

  PART Two

  rVI

  I lie Cbieftain-'s Call

  NO PLACE LIKE HOME

  IDEON of

  G

  DARTED OUT his head like a snake, aiming for the leg the rider just ahead.

  'Seas!" Jamie wrenched the big bay's head around before he could take a bite. "Evil-minded whoreson," he muttered under his breath. Geordie Chisholm, unaware of his narrow escape from Gideon's teeth, caught the remark, and looked back over his shoulder, startled. Jamie smiled and touched his slouch hat apologetically, nudging the horse past Chisholm's long-legged mule.

  Jamie kicked Gideon ungently in the ribs, urging him past the rest of the slow-moving travelers at a speed fast enough to keep the brute from biting, kicking, trampling stray bairns, or otherwise causing trouble. After a week's journey, he was all too well acquainted with the stallion's proclivities. He passed Brianna and Marsali, halfivay up the column, at a slow trot; by the time he passed Claire and Roger, riding at the head, he was moving too fast to do more than flourish his hat at them in salute.

  "A mbic an dbiobhail," he said, clapping the hat back on and leaning low over the horse's neck. "Ye're a deal too lively for your own good, let alone mine. See how long ye last in the rough, eh?"

  He pulled hard left, off the trail, and down the slope, trampling dry grass and brushing leafless dogwood out of the way with a gunshot snapping of twigs. What the seven-sided son of a bitch needed was flat country, where Jamie could gallop the bejesus out of him and bring him back blowing. Given that there wasn't a flat spot in twenty miles, he'd have to do the next best thing.

  He gathered up the reins, clicked his tongue, jabbed both heels into the horse's ribs, and they charged up the shrubby hillside as though they had been fired from a cannon.

  Gideon was large-boned, weti-nourished, and sound of wind, which was why Jamie had bought him. He was also a hard-mouthed, bad-tempered reester of a horse, which was why he hadn't cost much. More than Jamie could easily afford, even so.

  As they sailed over a small creek, jumped a fallen log, and hared up an almost vertical hillside littered with scrub oak and persimmon, Jamie found himself wondering whether he'd got a bargain or committed suicide. That was the last coherent thought he had before Gideon veered sideways, crushing Jamie's leg against a tree, than gathered his hindquarters and charged down the other side of the hill into a thicket of brush, sending coveys of quail exploding from under his huge flat hooves.

  Half an hour of dodging low branches, lurching through streams, and

  168 Diana Gabaldon

  galloping straight up as many hillsides as Jamie could point them at, and Gideon was, if not precisely tractable, at least exhausted enough to be manageable. Jamie was soaked to the thighs, bruised, bleeding from half a dozen scratches, and breathing nearly as hard as the horse. He was, however, still in the saddle, and still in charge.

  He turned the horse's head toward the sinking sun and clicked his tongue again.

  "Come on, then," he said. "Let's go home."

  They had exerted themselves mightily, but given the rugged shape of the land, had not covered so much ground as to lose themselves entirely. He turned Gideon's head upward, and within a quarter hour, had come out onto a small ridge he recognized.

  They picked their way along the ridge, searching for a safe way down through the tangles of chinkapin, poplar, and spruce. The party was not far away, he knew, but it could take some time to cross to them, and he would as soon rejoin them before they reached the Ridge. Not that Claire or MacKenzie could not guide them-but he admitted to himself that he wished very much to return to Fraser's Ridge at the head of the party, leading his people home.

  "Christ, man, ye'd think ye were Moses," he muttered, shaking his head in mock dismay at his own pretensions.

  The horse was lathered, and when the trees opened out for a space, Jamie hafted for a moment's rest-relaxing the reins, but keeping a sufficient grip as to discourage any notions the outheidie creature might still be entertaining. They stood among a grove of silver birch, at the lip of a small rocky outcrop above a forty-foot drop; he thought the horse held much too high an opinion of himself to contemplate self-destruction, but best to be careful, in case he had any thought of flinging his rider off into the laurels below.

  The breeze was from the west. Jamie lifted his chin, enjoying the cold touch of it on his heated skin. The land fell away in undulating waves of brown and green, kindled here and there with patches of color, lighting the mist in the hollows like the glow of campfire smoke. He felt a peace come over him at the sight, and breathed deep, his body relaxing.

  Gideon relaxed, too, all the feistiness draining slowly out of him like water from a leaky bucket. Slowly, Jamie let his hands drop lightly on the horse's neck, and the horse stayed still, ears forward. Ah, he thought, and the realization stole over him that this was a Place.

  He thought of such places in a way that had no words, only recognizing one when he came to it. He might have called it holy, save that the feel of such a place had nothing to do with church or saint. It was simply a place he belonged to be, and that was sufficient, though he preferred to be alone when he found one. He let the reins go slack across the horse's neck. Not even a thrawnminded creature like Gideon would give trouble here, he felt.

  Sure enough, the horse stood quiet, massive dark withers steaming in the chill. They could not tarry long, but he was deeply glad of the momentary respite-not from the battle with Gideon, but from the press of people.

  He had learned early on the trick of living separately in a crowd, private in his mind when his body could not be. But he was born a mountain-dweller,

  The Fiery Cross 169

  and had learned early, too, the enchantme
nt of solitude, and the healing of quiet places.

  of the small vivid portraits Quite suddenly, he had a vision of his mother, one

  that his mind hoarded, producing them unexpectedly in response to God knew what-a sound, a smell, some passing freak of memory.

  He had been snaring for rabbits on a hillside then, hot and sweaty, his fingers pricked with gorse and his shirt stuck to him with mud and damp. He had seen a small grove of trees and gone to them for shade. His mother was there, sitting in the greenish shadow, on the ground beside a tiny spring. She sat quite motionless-which was unlike her-long hands folded in her lap.

  She had not spoken, but smiled at him, and he had gone to her, not speaking either, but filled with a great sense of peace and contentment, resting his head against her shoulder, feeling her arm go about him and knowing he stood at the center of the world. He had been five, maybe, or six.

  As suddenly as it had come, the vision disappeared, like a bright trout vanishing into dark water. It left behind it the same deep sense of peace, thoughas though someone had briefly embraced him, a soft hand touched his hair.

  He swung himself down from the saddle, needing the feel of the pine needles under his boots, some physical connection with this place. Caution made him tie the reins to a stout pine, though Gideon seemed calm enough; the stallion had dropped his head and was nuzzling for tufts of dried grass. Jamie stood still for a moment, then turned himself carefully to the right, facing the north.

  He no longer recalled who had taught him this-whether it was Mother, Father, or Auld John, Ian's father. He spoke the words, though, as he turned himself sunwise, murmuring the brief prayer to each of the four airts in turn, and ended facing west, into the setting sun. He cupped his empty hands and the fight filled them, spilling from his Palms.

  "'May God make safe to me eacb step, May God make open to me each pass, May God make clear to me eacb road,

  And may He take me in the clasp ofHis own two bands."

  With an instinct older than the prayer, he took the flask from his belt and poured a few drops on the ground.

  Scraps of sound reached him on the breeze; laughter and calling, the sound of animals making their way through brush. The caravan was not far away, only across a small hollow, coming slowly round the curve of the hillside opposite. He should go now, to join them on the last push upward to the Ridge.

  Still he hesitated for a moment, loath to break the spell of the Place. Some tiny movement caught the corner of his eye, and he bent down, squinting as he peered into the deepening shadows beneath a holly bush.

  It sat frozen, blending perfectly with its dusky background. He would never have seen it had his hunter's eye not caught its movement. A tiny kitten, its gray fur puffed out like a ripe milkweed head, enormous eyes wide open and unblinking, almost colorless in the gloom beneath the bush.

  170 Diana Gabaldon

  'A Cbait, "he whispered, putting out a slow finger toward it. "Whatever are ye doing here?"

  A feral cat, no doubt; born of a wild mother, fled from some settlers' cabin, and long free of the trap of domesticity. He brushed the wispy fur of its breast, and it sank its tiny teeth suddenly into his thumb.

  "Ow!" He jerked away, and examined the drop of blood welling from a small puncture wound. He glowered at the cat for a moment, but it merely stared back at him, and made no move to run. He paused, then made up his mind. He shook the blood drop from his finger onto the leaves, an offering to join the dram he had spilled, a gift to the spirits of this Place-who had evidently made up their minds to offer him a gift, themselves.

  "All right, then," he said under his breath. He knelt, and stretched out his hand, palm up. Very slowly, he moved one finger, then the next, and the next and the next, then again, in the undulant motion of seaweed in the water. The big pale eyes fixed on the movement, watching as though hypnotized. He could see the tip of the miniature tail twitch, very slightly, and smiled at the sight.

  If he could guddle a trout-and he could-why not a cat?

  He made a small noise through his teeth, a whistling hiss, like the distant chittering of birds. The kitten stared, mesmerized, as the gently swaying fingers moved invisibly closer. When at last he touched its fiir again, it made no move to escape. One finger edged beneath the fiir, another slid under the cold wee

  rorn the pads of one paw, and it let him scoop it gently into his hand and lift it f

  ground. He held it for a moment against his chest, stroking it with one finger, tracing the silken jawline, the delicate ears. The tiny cat closed its eyes and began to Purr in ecstasy, rumbling in his palm like distant thunder.

  "Oh, so ye7ll come away wi' me, will you?" Receiving no demur from the cat, he opened the neck of his shirt and tucked the tiny thing inside, where it poked and prodded at his ribs f

  or a bit before curling up against his skin, purr reduced to a silent but pleasant vibration.

  Gideon seemed pleased by the rest; he set off willingly enough, and within a quarter hour, they had caught up with the others. The stalliongs momentary docility evaporated, though, under the strain of the final upward climb.

  Not that the horse could not master the steep trail; what he couldn't abide was following another horse. It didn't matter whether Jamie wished to lead them home or not-if Gideon had anything to do with the matter, they would be not only in the lead, but several furlongs ahead.

  The column of travelers was strung out over half a mile, each f

  amily party traveling at its own speed: Frasers, MacKenzies, Chisholms, MacLeods, and Aberfeldys. At every space and widening of the trail, Gideon shouldered his way rudely ahead, shoving past pack mules, sheep, foot-travelers, and mares; he even scattered the three pigs trudging slowly behind Grannie Chisholm

  . The pigs bolted into the brush in a chorus of panicked oinks as Gideon bore down upon them.

  Jamie found himself more in sympathy with the horse than not; eager to be home and working hard to get there, irritated by anything that

  threatened to hold him back. At the moment, the Main impediment to progress was Claire,

  The Fiery Cross -17-1

  who had-blast the woman-halted her mare in front of him and slid off in order to gather yet another bit of herbage from the trailside. As though the entire house was not filled from doorstep to rooftree with Plants already, and her saddlebags a-bulge with more!

  Gideon, picking up his rider's mood with alacrity, stretched out his neck and nipped the mare's rump. The mare bucked, squealed, and shot off up the trail, loose reins dangling. Gideon made a deep rumbling noise of satisfaction and started off after her, only to be jerked unceremoniously to a halt.

  Claire had whirled round at the noise, eyes wide. She looked up at Jamie, up the trail after her vanished horse, then back at him. She shrugged apologetically, hands fiffl of tattered leaves and mangy roots.

  "Sorry," she said, but he saw the comer of her mouth tuck in and the flush rise in her skin, the smile glimmering in her eyes like morning light on trout water. Quite against his will, he felt the tension in his shoulders ease. He had had it in mind to rebuke her; in fact, he still did, but the words wouldn't quite come to his tongue.

  "Get up, then, woman," he said instead, gruffly, with a nod behind him. "I want my supper."

  She laughed at him and scrambled up, kilting her skirts out of the way. Gideon, irascible at this additional burden, whipped round to take a nip of anything he could reach. Jamie was ready for that; he snapped the end of the rein sharply off the stallion's nose, making him jerk back and snort in surprise.

  "That'll teach ye, ye wee bastard." He pulled his hat over his brow and settled his errant wife securely, fluttering skirts tucked in beneath her thighs, arms round his waist. She rode without shoes or stockings, and her long calves were white and bare against the dark bay hide. He gathered up the reins and kicked the horse, a trifle harder than strictly necessary. m both off Gideon promptly reared, backed, twisted, and tried to scrape the

  under a
hanging poplar bough. The kitten, rudely roused from its nap, sank all its claws into Jamie's midsection and yowled in alarm, though its noise was quite lost in Jamie's much louder screech. He yanked the horse's head halfway round, swearing, and shoved at the hindquarters with his left leg.

  No easy conquest, Gideon executed a hop like a corkscrew. There was a small "eek!" and a sudden feeling of emptiness behind him, as Claire was slung off into the brush like a bag of flour. The horse suddenly yielded to the pull on his mouth, and shot down the path in the wrong direction, hurtling through a screen of brambles and skidding to a halt that nearly threw him onto his hindquarters in a shower of mud and dead leaves. Then he straightened out like a snake, shook his head, and trotted nonchalantly over to exchange nuzzles with Roger's horse, which was standing at the edge of the spring clearing, watching them with the same bemusement exhibited by its dismounted rider. "All right there?" asked Roger, raising one eyebrow.

  "Certainly," Jamie replied, trying to gasp for breath while keeping his dignity. "And you?"

  "Fine." "Good." He was already swinging down from the saddle as he spoke. He flung the reins toward MacKenzie, not waiting to see whether he caught them, and ran back toward the trail, shouting, "Claire! Where are ye?"

  172 Diana Gabaldon

  "Just here!" she called cheerfiilly. She emerged from the shadow of the poplars, with leaves in her hair and limping slightly, but looking otherwise undamaged. "Are you all right?" she asked, cocking one eyebrow at him.

  "Aye, fine. I'm going to shoot that horse." He gathered her in briefly, wanting to assure himself that she was in fact whole. She was breathing heavily, but felt reassuringly solid, and kissed him on the nose.

  "Well, don't shoot him until we get home. I don't want to walk the last mile or so in my bare feet."

  "Hey! Let that alone, ye bugger!"

  He let go of Claire and turned to find Roger snatching a fistful of raggedlooking plants away from Gideon's questing Roman nose. More plants-what was this mania for gathering? Claire was still panting from the accident, but leaned forward to see them, looking interested.

  "What's that you've got, Roger?"

  "For Bree," he said, holding them up for her inspection. "Are they the right kind?" To Jamie's jaundiced eye, they looked like the yellowed tops of carrots gone to seed and left too long in the ground, but Claire fingered the mangy foliage, and nodded approval.

  "Oh, yes," she said. "Very romantic!"

  Jamie made a small tactfiil noise, indicating that they ought perhaps to be making their way, since Bree and the slower-moving tribe of Chisholms would be catching them up soon.

  "Yes, all right," Claire said, patting his shoulder in what he assumed she meant to be a soothing gesture. "Don't snort; we're going."

  "Mmphm," he said, and bent to put a hand under her foot. Tossing her up into the saddle, he gave Gideon a "Don't try it on, you bastard" look and swung up behind her. iti

  "You'll wait for the others, then, and bring them up?" Without wa ng for Roger's nod, Jamie reined around and set Gideon upon the trail again. Mollified at being far in the lead, Gideon settled down to the job at hand,

  climbing steadily through the thickets of hombeam and poplar, chestnut and spruce. Even so late in the year, some leaves still clung to the trees, and small bits of brown and yellow floated down upon them like a gentle rain, catching in the horse's mane, resting in the loose, thick waves of Claire's hair. It had come down in her precipitous descent, and she hadn't bothered to put it up again.

  Jamie's own equanimity returned with the sense of progress, and was quite restored by the fortuitous finding of the hat he had lost, hanging from a white oak by the trail, as though placed there by some kindly hand. Still, he remained uneasy in his mind, and could not quite grasp tranquillity, though the mountain lay at peace all round him, the air hazed with blue and smelling of wooddamp and evergreens.

  Then he realized, with a sudden jolt in the pit of his stomach, that the kitten was gone. There were itching furrows in the skin of his chest and abdomen, where it had climbed him in a frantic effort to escape, but it must have popped Out the neck of his shirt and been flung off his shoulder in the mad career down the slope. He glanced from side to side, searching in the shadows under bushes and trees, but it was a vain hope. The shadows were lengthening, and they were on the main trail now, where he and Gideon had torn through the wood.

  The Fiery Cross 173

  -Go with God," he murmured, and crossed himself briefly. "What's that?" Claire asked, half-turning in the saddle.

  "Nothing," he said. After all, it was a wild cat, though a small one. Doubtless it would manage.

  Gideon worked the bit, pecking and bobbing. Jamie realized that the tension in his hands was running through the reins once more, and consciously slackened his grip. He loosened his grip on Claire, too, and she took a sudden deep breath.

  His heart was beating fast.

  It was impossible for him ever to come home after an absence without a certain sense of apprehension. For years after the Rising, he had lived in a cave, approaching his own house only rarely, after dark and with great caution, never knowing what he might find there. More than one Highland man had come home to his place to find it burned and black, his family gone. Or worse, still there.

  Well enough to tell himself not to imagine horrors; the difficulty was that he had no need of imagination-memory sufficed.

  The horse dug with his haunches, pushing hard. No use to tell himself this was a new place; it was, with its own dangers. If there were no English soldiers in these mountains, there were still marauders. Those too shiftless to take root