The Fiery Cross

by Diana Gabaldon

  490 Diana Gabaldon

  come between us. I remembered, vividly, those hands in the darkness, and bucked convulsively.

  "Look." His breath came hot in my ear. "Look down. Watch while I take ye. Watch, damn you!"

  His hand pressed my neck, bending my head forward to look down in the dimness, past the folds of sheltering fabric to the naked fact of my possession.

  I arched my back and then collapsed, biting the shoulder of his coat to make no noise. His mouth was on my neck, and fastened tight as he shuddered against me.

  WE LAY TANGtED together in the straw, watching daylight creep through the half-open door across the red-brick floor of the stable. My heart was still thumping in my cars, blood tingling through skin and temples, thighs and fingers, but I felt somehow detached from such sensations, as though they were happening to someone else. I felt unreal-and slightly shocked.

  My cheek lay flat against his chest. Moving my eyes slightly, I could see the fading red flush of his skin in the open neck of his shirt, and the coarse curly hairs, so deep an auburn that they looked nearly black in the shadowed light.

  A pulse was throbbing in the hollow of his throat, no more than an inch from my hand. I wanted to lay my fingers on it, feel his heartbeat echo in my blood. I felt oddly shy, though, as though such a gesture were too intimate to contemplate. Which was completely ridiculous, in view of what we had just done with-and to-each another.

  I did move my index finger, just a bit, so that my fingertip brushed the tiny three-cornered scar on his throat; a faded white knot, pale against his bronzed skin.

  There was a slight catch in the rhythm of his breathing, but he didn't move. His arm was round me, his hand splayed on the small of my back. Two breaths, three ... and then the faint pressure of a fingertip against my spine.

  We lay silent, breathing lightly, both concentrated on the delicate acknowledgment of our connection, but didn't speak or move; slightly embarrassed, with the return of reason, at what we bad just done.

  The sound of voices coming toward the stable galvanized me into motion, though. I sat up abruptly, yanked my shift up over my shoulders, and began to brush straw from my hair. Jamie rolled up onto his knees, his back to me, and began hastily to tuck in his shirttail.

  The voices outside stopped abruptly, and we both froze. There was a brief, charged silence, and then the sound of footsteps, delicately retreating. I let out the breath I had been holding, feeling my racing heart begin to slow. The stable was filled with the rustlings and whickers of the horses, who had heard the voices and footsteps, too. They were getting hungry.

  "So you won," I said to Jamie's back. My voice sounded strange to me, as though I hadn't used it in a long time.

  "I promised ye I would." He spoke soffly, head bent as he rearranged the folds of his plaid.

  The Fiery Cross 491

  I stood up, feeling mildly dizzy, and leaned against the wall to keep my balance as I brushed sand and straw from my feet. The rough feel of the bricks behind me was a vivid reminder, and I spread my hands out against them, bracing myself against the rush of recalled sensation.

  "Are ye all right, Sassenach?" He turned his head sharply to look up at me, sensing my movement.

  "yes. Yes," I repeated. "Fine. just ... I'm fine. And you?"

  He looked pale and scruffy, his face stubbled and hollow with strain, eyes smudged black from a long and sleepless night. He met my eyes for a moment, then glanced away. A hint of color showed on his cheekbones, and he swallowed audibly.

  "I-" he began, then stopped. He got to his feet and stood before me. His formal queue had come undone, and the tails of his hair splayed over his shouldcr, glimmering redly as the bar of light from the door lit him.

  "Ye dinna hate me?" he asked abruptly. Taken by surprise, I laughed. "No," I said. "Do you think I should?"

  His mouth twitched a little, and he rubbed his knuckles across it, scraping on the stubble of his beard.

  "Well, maybe so," he said, "but I'm glad if ye don't."

  He took my hands gently in his own, his thumb rubbing lightly across the interlaced pattern of my silver ring. His hands were cold, chilled by the dawn. "Whyever do you think I might hate you?" I asked. "Because of the rings,

  do you mean?" Granted, I would have been upset and furious with him, had he lost either one. Since he hadn't ... Of course, he had caused me to worry all night about where he was and what he was doing, to say nothing of sneaking into my room and making improper advances to my feet. Perhaps I ought to be annoyedArith him, after all.

  "Well, starting i&T that," he said dryly. "I havena let my pride get the better of me in some time, but I couldna seem to stop myself, what with wee Phillip Wylie preenin' about, smirkin' at your breasts, and-"

  "He was?" I hadn't noticed that part.

  "He was," Jamie said, glowering momentarily at the thought. Then he dismissed Phillip Wylie, returning to the catalogue of his own sins.

  "And then, draggin' ye out of the house in your shift and going after ye like a ravening beast-" he gently touched my neck, where I could still feel the tingling soreness of a bite mark.

  "Oh. Well, I quite liked that part, actually."

  "You did?" His eyes flicked wide and blue in momentary startlement. "Yes. Though I rather think I have bruises on my bottom."

  "Oh." He looked down, apparently abashed, though the corner of his mouth twitched slightly. "I'm sorry for that. When I'd finished-at the whist, I mean-I couldna think of anything but finding ye, Sassenach. I went up and down that stair a dozen times, going to your door, and back away again."

  "Oh, you did?" I was pleased to hear this, as it seemed to increase the odds that he had in fact been my midnight visitor.

  He picked up a,hank of my rumpled hair and ran his fingers gently through it.

  "I kent I couldna sleep, and thought, well, I shall go out and walk in the

  492 Diana Gabaldo.

  night for a time, and I would, but then I should find myself again outside your room, not knowing how I'd come there, but only trying to think how I might gel to ye-trying to will ye- to come out to me, I suppose. 51

  Well, that explained my dreams of Wild stallions, I thought. The place where he had bitten my neck throbbed slightly. And where had he brought me? A stable. King of Ireland, forsooth.

  He squeezed my hands lightly.

  "I thought the force of my wanting must wake ye, surely. And then ye did come. . . ." He stopped, looking at me with eyes gone soft and dark. "Christ, Claire, ye were so beautiful, there on the stair, wi' your hair down and the shadow of your body with the light behind ye.

  - - ." He shook his head slowly. "I did think I should die, if I didna have ye," he said softly. "Just then."

  I reached up to stroke his face, his beard a soft bristle on my palm. "Wouldn't want you to die," I whispered, tucking back a lock of hair behind his ear.

  We smiled at each other then, but whatever else we might have said was interrupted by a loud whinny from one of the horses, followed by stamping noises. We were interfering with their breakfast.

  I dropped my hand and Jamie bent to pick up his coat, which Jay

  in the straw. He didn't lose his balance as he bent, but I Saw half-buri,d him wince as the blood went suddenly to his head,

  "Did you have a terrible lot to drink last night?" I asked, recognizing the symptoms.

  He straightened up with a small grunt of amusement. "Aye, quarts," he said, ruefully. "Ye can tell?"

  0 A person with much less experience than I had could have told at a distance nore obvious indications of

  f roughly half a mile; putting aside the r

  toxiCation, he smelled like a distillery, recent in"It didn't impair your card Playing, evidently," I said, being tactful. "Or was Phillip Wylie sin-fflarly affected?"

  He looked surprised, and slightly affronted.

  "Ye dinna think I'd get besotted whilst I was playing, do ye? And with your rings at stake? No, that was after-MacDonald fetched a
bottle of champagne and another of whisky and insisted that we must celebrate our winnings in proper style."

  "MacDonald? Donald MacDonald? He was playing with you?"

  "Aye, he and I were partnered against Wylie and Stanhope." He shook the coat, sending bits of straw flying, "I couldna say what sort of soldier he was, but the man's a fine hand at the whist, to be sure. 7,

  Mention of the words "fine hands reminded me. He'd come to the door of my room, he said; he hadn't mentioned coming in. Had he, and been too far ne between liquor and longing to recall doing it? Had 1, daz d th dreams go C kkri

  of equine lust, imagined the whole thing? Surely not, I thought, but shook off the sense of vague disquiet engendered by the memory, in favor of another word from his remark.

  "You said winnings?" In the stress of the moment, it had only seemed important that he had kept my rings, but it occurred to me belatedly that those

  The Fiery Cross 493

  were only his stake. "What did you take off Phillip Wylie?" I asked, laughing. "His embroidered coat buttons? Or his silver shoe buckles?"

  His face had an odd expression as he glanced at me. "Well, no," he said. "I took his horse."

  HE SWUNG HIS COAT round my shoulders, put an arm round my waist, and led me down the main aisle of the stable block, past the loose-boxes and stalls. ough the other door, and was working at the Joshua had come in quietly, thr

  far end of the stable, gainst the light from the open double-doors silhouetted a

  as he pitchforked hay into the, end stalt. As we reached him, he glanced at us dded in greeting, his face. carefully neutral at the sight of us, bedraggled, and no

  barefoot, and prickled with straw. Even in a household with a blind mistress, a slave knew what not to see - -ast countenance said clearly. He looked nearly No business of his, his downc

  as tired as I felt, eyes heavy and bloodshot. 11. Josh perked up a mic asked, lifting his chin toward the sta

  "How is he?" Ta ng down his

  bit at the inquiry, putt, pitchfork. "Oh, he's bonnie," he said, with an air of sati

  Wylie's Lucas." sfaction. "A bonnie lad, Mr. "Indeed he is," Jamie agreed. "Only he's mine now."

  e,s whatp, Josh goggled at him, openmouthed.

  64H

  e's mine Jamie went to the railing and reached out a hand to scratch "11 '21

  the ears of the big stallion, busily engaged in eating hay from his manger. 'Seas," he murmured to the horse. 'Ciamar a tha thu, a ghille mhoir?"

  mol followed him, peering over his arm at the horse, who tifted his head for a his facen,t,arnedgawrednetdbuasckwith a genial eye, snorted, tossed his veil-like mane out of m to his breakfast with single-minded intent.

  "A lovely creature, is he no?" Jamie was admiring Lucas, a took of distant speculation in his eyes. own admiration was substantially tinged with "Well, yes, he is, but-" My ge his own pride at the cost of Wylie's, he'd dismay. If Jamie had set out to aven

  done it in spades. Despite my irritation with Wylie, I couldn't help a small pang

  4 e feeling at the loss of his magnificent Friesian. at the thought of how he must b

  'But what, Sassenach?"

  "-,Veil, just-,, I fumbled awkwardly for Words. I could scarcely say I felt sorry for Phillip Wylie, under the circumstances. "Just-well, what do you mean to do with him"

  Even I could see that Lucas was totally unsuited to life on Fraser's Ridge. thought of plowing or hauling with him seemed sacrilegious, and while I The

  osed Jamie could use him ed dubiously, envisupp only for riding ... I frown

  sioning the, boggy bottoms and rocky trails that would threaten those welllinter the glossy hooves; the hanging boughs and turned legs and sp

  undergrowth that would tangle in mane and tail. Gideon the Man-eater was a thousand times better suited to such rough environs.

  494 Diana Gabaldon

  "Oh, I dinna mean to keep him," Jamie assured me. He looked at the horse and sighed regretfully. "Though I should dearly love to. But ye're right; he wouldna do for the Ridge. No, I mean to sell him."

  "Oh, good." I was relieved to hear this. Wylie would undoubtedly buy Lucas back, no matter what the cost. I found that a comforting thought. And we could certainly use the money.

  Joshua had gone out while we were talking. At this point, he reappeared in the doorway, a sack of grain on his shoulder. His previous sluggish air had disappeared, though; his eyes were still bloodshot, but he looked alert, and mildly alarmed.

  "Mrs. Claire?" he said. "Beggin' your pardon, ma'am, but I met Teresa by the barn just now; she's says as how there's summat gone amiss wi' Betty. I thought ye'd maybe want to know."

  BLOOD IN THE ATTIC

  E ATTIC ROOM looked like the scene of a murder, and a brutal n

  ne, at that. Betty was struggling on the floor beside her overturned b e,

  T bed, knees drawn up and fists doubled into her abdomen, the muslin of her shift torn and saturated with blood. Fentiman was on the floor with her, dwarfed by her bulk but vainly grappling with her spasming body, nearly as smeared with gore as she was.

  The sun was fully up now, and pouting in through the tiny windows in brilliant shafts that spotlighted parts of the chaos, leaving the rest in shadowed confusion. Cots were pushed aside and upset, bedding tangled in mounds, worn shoes and bits of clothing scattered like debris among the splotches of fresh blood on the wooden floor.

  I hurried across the attic, but before I could reach her, Betty gave a deep, gurgling cough, and more blood gushed from her mouth and nose. She curled forward, arched back, doubled hard again ... and went limp.

  I fell to my knees beside her, though it was apparent from a glance that her limbs had relaxed into that final stillness from which there could be no hope of revival. I lifted her head and pressed my fingers under her jaw; her eyes had rolled back, only the whites showing. No breath, no sign of a pulse in the clammy neck.

  From the quantities of blood spread round the room, I thought there could be very little left in her body. Her lips were blue, and her skin had gone the color of ashes. Fentiman knelt behind her, wigless and white-faced, skinny arms still locked about her heavy torso, holding her slumped body half off the floor.

  He was in his nightshirt, I saw, a pair of blue satin breeches hastily pulled on

  The Fiery Cross 495

  beneath it. The air reeked of blood, bile, and feces, and he was smeared with all those substances. He looked up at me, though he showed no sign of recognition, his eyes wide and blank with shock.

  "Dr. Fentiman." I spoke softly; with the noise of struggle ceased, the attic was stricken with that absolute silence that often follows in the wake of death, and it seemed sacrilege to break it.

  He blinked, and his mouth worked a little, but he seemed to have no notion how to reply. He didn't move, though the spreading pool of blood had soaked through the knees of his breeches. I put a hand on his shoulder; it was birdboned, but rigid with denial. I knew the feeling; to lose a patient you have fought for is a terrible thing-and yet one all doctors know.

  "You have done all you can," I said, still softly, and tightened my grip. "It is not your fault," What had happened the day before wasn't important. He was a colleague, and I owed him what absolution lay in my power to give -

  He licked dry lips, and nodded once, then bent to lay the body gently down. A shaft of light skimmed the top of his head, glowing through the scanty bristles of cropped gray hair, and making the bones of his skull seem thin and fragile. He seemed suddenly frail altogether, and let me help him to his feet without protest.

  A low moan made me turn, still holding his arm. A knot of female slaves huddled in the shadowed corner of the room, faces stark and dark hands fluttering with distress against the pate muslin of their shifts. There were mate voices on the stair outside, muted and anxious. I could hear Jamie, low-voiced and calm, explaining.

  "Gussie?" I called toward the women in the corner with the first name that came to mind-

>   The knot of slaves clung together for a moment, then reluctantly unraveled, and Gussie stepped out, a pale brown moth of a girl from Jamaica, small under a turban of blue calico.

  "Madam?" She kept her eyes on mine, steadfastly away from the still form on the floor.

  6411m taking Doctor Fentiman downstairs. IT have some of the men come to ... to take care of Betty. This ... 11 1 made a small gesture toward the mess on the floor, and she nodded,still shocked, but obviously relieved to have something to do - j th

  Yes, Madam. We do that, quick." She hesitated, eyes dart ng round e "Madam?" then looked back

  at me. room,

  "Yes? "

  "Someone must gO-tcfl that girl name Phaedre what's gone with Betty. You tell her, please?"

  Startled, I looked, and realized that Phaedre was not among the slaves in the corner. of course; as Jocasta's body servant, she would sleep downstairs, near her mistress, even on her wedding night.

  "Yes," I said, uncertainly. "of course. But-" e She "This jetty that girl's mama," Gussie said, seeing my incompr hen,ion swallowed, tears sw 'imming in her soft brown eyes- "Somebody--can I go, Madam? Can 190 tell her?"

  "Please," I said, and stepped back, motioning her to go. She tiptoed past the

  496 Diana Gabaldon

  body, then darted for the door, callused bare feet thumping softly on the boards.

  D . Fentiman had begun to emerge from his shock. He pulled away from me r

  and stooped toward the floor, making vague groping gestures. I saw that his medical kit had been upset in the struggle; bottles and instruments were strewn across the floor in a litter of metal and broken glass.

  ore he could retrieve his kit, though, there was a brief commotion on the Bef

  stair, and Duncan came into the room, Jamie on his heels. I noticed with some interest that Duncan was still wearing his wedding clothes, though minus coat and waistcoat. Had he been to bed at all? I wondered.

  He nodded to me, but his eyes went at once to Betty, now sprawled on the floor, bloody shift crumpled round her broad, splayed thighs. One breast spilled from the torn fabric, heavy and slack as a half-filled pouch of meal. Duncan blinked several times. Then he wiped the back of his hand across his mustache, and took a visible breath. He bent to pluck a quilt from the carnage and laid it gently over her.

  46Help me with her, Mac Dubb," he said.

  Seeing what he was about, Jamie knelt and gathered the dead woman up into his arms. Duncan drew himself upright, and turned his face towar*d the women in the corner.

  "Dinna f

  ash yourselves," he said quietly. "I shall see her taken care of There was an unusual note of authority in his voice that made me realize

  thatin spite of his natural modesty, he had accepted the fact that he was master here. The men left with their burden, and I heard Dr. Fentiman give a deep sigh.

  It felt as though the whole attic sighed with him; the atmosphere was still thick with stench and sorrow, but the shock of violent death was dissipating.