The Backpacking Housewife

by Janice Horton

  ‘Well, I see that’s all been executed with your father’s usual efficiency,’ I say, taking a pen and signing the deed with a flourish. ‘Although I do wonder how he can afford to buy me out, as I doubt Sally keeps anything but a pair of overnight knickers in her designer handbag.’

  ‘I believe he’s secured a mortgage loan, Mum.’ Lucas explains, ignoring my snarky comment about Sally. I ask our hostess for some champagne with which to celebrate.

  I see a look of cautious exchange between Josh and Lucas.

  It suggests they can’t quite believe how absolutely fine I am about all of this.

  Three foaming flutes are brought over and once they’re in hand, we raise them.

  ‘So what are we drinking to exactly?’ Josh asks me.

  ‘Let’s drink to your father,’ I say, feeling generous. ‘I think he’s got far more than he bargained with Sally. But if it wasn’t for them both, we wouldn’t be sitting here in Kuala Lumpur drinking champagne today.’

  We clink our glasses and Lucas frowns while Josh laughs uneasily.

  With the champagne sipped, I see Josh is now looking a little anxious.

  Ever since he was a little boy, he’s had a tell – if he has something bothering him, there’s a little raised vein pulsating in his forehead. Not many would notice it, but I am his mother.

  ‘What is it, Josh? Come on, you can tell me.’

  ‘I was worried about telling you this, Mum, but as you do seem fine about all of this, Sally’s already moved in with Dad. When her husband found out about the affair, he kicked her out.’

  ‘So what’s happened to all my personal things?’ I ask, suddenly sitting bolt upright and changing my amicable tune. ‘I don’t want that bitch rooting through my wardrobes!’

  ‘Don’t worry. Lucas and I packed up all your clothes and everything we thought was yours and we put it all into rented storage in town. It will be safe until you get back and find yourself somewhere new to live.’

  ‘But you can always stay with one of us, in the meantime, Mum. Not that you’d consider either of our apartments to be ideal, but you are very welcome,’ Lucas adds.

  I hug them both again. I had no idea they’d done this for me and I’m really touched.

  ‘Thank you, boys. I really appreciate it. That gives me piece of mind while I’m travelling.’

  ‘Mum, what do you mean? You’ve been travelling. You been away for ages and perhaps you don’t realise it, but Lucas and I are here to escort you home,’ Josh informs me.

  ‘It’s Christmas next week, Mum. We were sure you’d want to come home for Christmas.’ Lucas rallies in support of his elder brother. ‘We miss you. Gran misses you too. We want you to come home. We’ve already booked you at seat on our return flight.’

  I must look quite horrified. ‘Look, boys, I really appreciate all you have done for me but I don’t want to go back yet. I want to travel. I’ve caught the wanderlust. Gran has her network of friends and clubs and I miss you too but you both have busy lives. Come on, let’s be honest. We have all lived in the same town since you both came back from university. Yet, I hardly see either of you without prior arrangements. So, I’m sure we can manage being in different countries for a while and seeing each other on Facetime or Skype!’

  Josh and Lucas look completely stunned by my tirade.

  ‘I’ll admit it. I was shocked and angry. I was running away at first. But, now that I’m travelling, I feel free. I’m just starting to appreciate a different way of living my life and I want you to understand and support me and not worry about me so much.’

  ‘But you’re our mum. You’re hardly a backpacker!’ Lucas exclaims.

  ‘I am now!’ I laugh. ‘But I promise you this … I will always let you know where I am in the world and, if either of you or your Gran ever needs me, then I’ll be on the first flight back.’

  ‘Well, I suppose you don’t look like you’re having a nervous breakdown.’ Josh says sulkily.

  ‘Yeah. You do seem to be handling it all quite well,’ Lucas agrees.

  I throw my arms around them both again. ‘Then can you just let me have this … please?’

  Josh gives out a heavy sigh of defeat. ‘Just as long as you also promise us that you’ll be really careful. No wandering into a war zone or a crazy druggie commune or somewhere dangerous where you’ll get kidnapped.’

  I laugh. ‘Okay. I promise that too.’

  The following day, the three of us have breakfast at the hotel and then ask our concierge for his top three tourist hotspot recommendations for KL. First off, he recommends to us that we take the tour at the Petronas Towers and see the city from the observation deck on the 86th Floor, and then follow this with a walk over the famous skybridge that links the two towers together at the 42nd Floor. Josh and Lucas really like this idea as both the towers and the bridge have been used in so many famous action movies. Then there’s the KL Tower, with its revolving restaurant at the top. We’re told this is an excellent choice for lunch. The third recommendation for our afternoon’s sightseeing is to head just outside the city to the Batu Caves. ‘The caves are a big attraction. They’re home to a Hindu shrine and a temple and the tallest statue in Malaysia as well as lots of monkeys.’

  My eyes light up at the mention of monkeys, shrines, and temples.

  But the boys look a little reticent until our concierge also mentions the Dark Cave.

  ‘The Dark Cave at Batu is very famous too…’ he explains. ‘For bats and rare spiders.’

  And, of course, boys of any age love the idea of bat caves and creepy crawlies.

  We have a truly amazing day together, exploring the sites and posing for lots of photos.

  ‘So, where are your travel plans taking you next, Mum?’ Josh asks me once we’re back on the big squashy sofas in the club lounge later that evening.

  ‘Yeah, what will you be doing for Christmas all on your own?’ Lucas wants to know.

  ‘I’ve decided I’m going to stay in Malaysia. Not here in KL but over in Borneo. I’m actually hoping to volunteer at an orangutan orphanage for the next couple of months.’

  ‘You’re going to help save orangutans? In Borneo?’

  I nod. ‘Yes. I loved my time helping to save the endangered turtles. It was fantastic. At first, I just wanted to travel for travel’s sake but now I want to travel with a purpose. I want to see if I can make a difference in the world. I want to help endangered animals and people and even plants. I think it will make me happy.’

  My boys look at me with a softer look in their eyes. I think it’s admiration.

  ‘Well, I think it all sounds pretty cool. We’re so proud of you, Mum,’ says Josh. ‘Not many people can say that their mum’s helping endangered animals in Borneo.’

  ‘Yeah, our mum, the backpacking housewife!’ Lucas laughs.

  Early the next morning, the boys take the train back to the airport. I wave them off knowing there will be an empty seat in their row on the flight back to London, but I’m feeling far less guilty now that we’ve had a chance to talk. They’ve both given me their blessing to carry on travelling and they’ve forgiven me for being away from them at Christmas.

  As long as I promise to stay safe and out of trouble.

  And I’m sure I can do that quite easily, can’t I?

  Chapter 15

  Kuala Lumpur (ii)

  I’m back at my luxurious hotel, taking full advantage of club lounge facilities by enjoying a glass of champagne and some very tasty nibbles while I’m busy on my phone flicking through my photos from yesterday. There are some fun shots of the boys and I in the Petronas Towers and on its skybridge and at the Batu Caves, with its hundreds of steps and shrines and giant gold statues and all the friendly and photogenic monkeys.

  Happy times and wonderful memories.

  I post my favourites to my Facebook page and make sure to tag Josh and Lucas too.

  I check the time. They’ll be in the air by now and well on their way home.

  On m
y laptop, I look up the orangutan orphanage website and how to get there tomorrow and I’m just about to go ahead and book my flight over to Borneo, when I see an incoming message. It’s from Summer. She’s just seen my Facebook post and realised I’m in KL.

  I’m in KL right now too! Let’s meet up!

  I immediately invite her to join me here. I have a double capacity suite and knowing she’s sure to be staying in a cheap hostel somewhere in town, I want to invite her to stay over with me and to join me for complimentary drinks and canapes. I can’t wait to see her again.

  Half an hour later, Summer arrives, looking lovely as usual and she gives me a big hug.

  ‘Oh Lori, I could hardly believe it when I saw your post on Facebook. I got into KL earlier today myself and wanted to hit the city for a few hours before I fly out to Bali tonight.’

  ‘Bali? Oh, how wonderful. Are you going there for yoga?’

  I see her blush. ‘No actually, I’m going there with someone. Remember Nate? One of the lads we met at Railay last month?’

  I nod. ‘Yes, of course. The one that looked like Prince Harry?’

  She giggles. ‘Yeah. Well, we kept in touch and I’m meeting him later. He’s flying in from Bangkok in a couple of hours and we are heading over to Bali together for Christmas.’

  ‘It sounds so romantic!’ I enthuse, feeling so happy for her.

  She shrugs and laughs and tosses back her long shiny dark hair from her shoulders.

  ‘Well, so far it’s all been jokey texts and silly photos,’ she says, ‘but I really like him a lot.’

  The hostess comes over to ask Summer what she’d like to drink.

  ‘I’m on the champagne. It’s very nice,’ I tell Summer.

  ‘Ooh yes please!’ she breathes. ‘And how awesome is this hotel?’

  ‘I know…’ I whisper. ‘Only in Malaysia could I afford such an extravagance.’

  ‘I was reading an article in an airline magazine. It said that KL has the most affordable five-star hotels on the planet,’ Summer tells me, emphasising her words while accepting her glass of bubbly from our hostess.

  ‘Well, I was going to offer you a bed in my suite, but if you’re leaving tonight then you’ll just have to wallow in free champagne instead.’ I laugh, raising my glass to hers.

  We chink glasses and chorus ‘cheers!’

  ‘Tell me more about you and Nate?’ I say, as she seems so full of bubbles herself.

  ‘Well, we do have an amazing connection and he is such fun. I love his accent, so much that I can’t wait to meet up with him again to hear him talk. Basically, we are just going to take things slow and get to know each other a little better in Bali!’

  ‘It sounds very … sensible, as well as very romantic?’ I say.

  ‘Well, I’ve been in love before and that’s the problem…’ she says with a heavy sigh.

  I sip my champagne and realise her words have touched a nerve.

  ‘Anyway, I saw from your Facebook post that you’ve just had your sons to visit. I loved the photos and your sons are very handsome. You must have had them so young!’

  I smile, appreciating the flattery. ‘It was great to see them again, even for just a short time.’

  I start to laugh. ‘You won’t believe it, but they’d actually come over to take me back to the UK with them. They thought I was having some kind of mid-life crisis or even a nervous breakdown and needed rescuing!’

  Summer looks at me thoughtfully. ‘But you’re still here. So did they understand that you wanted to stay?’

  ‘Yes. I managed to talk them round in the end.’

  ‘I think it’s kinda cute for them to worry. I guess they just needed to know that their mom’s gonna be okay travelling on her own. But why did they think you were having a breakdown?’

  ‘Well, it’s a long story,’ I say.

  ‘I have both time and champagne.’ Summer tells me with a shrug. ‘Tell me why they were so worried about you that they came all the way out here from the UK for the weekend, Lori?

  I sigh. I realise that she and I had chatted for hours on the train from Chiang Mai to Bangkok and at Railay, but neither of us had ever broached the subject of our personal lives.

  I still know nothing about her home life in America or why she’s travelling alone and she knows nothing about my previous life in the UK, simply because it has never been part of our conversation. I’ve found this typically happens with people I’ve met on my travels.

  It’s all about who you are, not what you are.

  Topics of conversation are only ever about what you’ve seen and the adventures you’ve had.

  I find this refreshing. As a traveller, you are only ever judged on face value.

  But now, knowing each other a little better and with my tongue loosened by champagne, I start to tell her about walking in on my husband having sex with my best friend. I tell her how, after we had parted on Koh Lanta, I’d got my dive certificate and how I cut my foot in the Emerald Cave and ended up by fate and happenstance at the turtle sanctuary on Koh Phi Tao.

  ‘So now it’s your turn. How did you get your heart broken?’ I ask her.

  ‘A similar story, except we were engaged to be married. It happened the night before our wedding. I found him with my chief bridesmaid and he had the gall to tell me he was having a last fling on his last night of being single. I told him to take his time. I left for India the next day.’

  I sympathise with her whole-heartedly and we both have another glass of champagne.

  ‘So that’s why I’m gonna take things slowly with Nate. He seems so nice but it’s hard to trust a man again after being so horribly betrayed.’

  I nod. ‘I know. I get that completely. I’ve met someone too but I’m not as brave as you.’

  I tell her about the people I met on Koh Phi Tao and what happened on the island between Ethan and Marielle and how Ethan and I had felt something special happening between us – but that we never spoke of it or acted on it until our last night together, when he’d kissed me and asked me to travel with him and I’d turned him down.

  Summer listens with understanding. ‘I get the feeling you really like this guy a lot, Lori.’

  ‘Yes … I do. But he’s married and going through a divorce and so am I.’

  Summer reaches over to me and squeezes my hand. ‘I’m so sorry, Lori. That kinda sucks.’

  ‘It’s really bad timing,’ I tell her, getting a bit emotional. ‘And that’s why, on the island and over the past week or more, I’ve had to tread extra carefully around Ethan. I loved every minute of being on the island and helping to save the turtles, but spending time with him was, to be honest, exhausting. I was in a constant state of emotional turmoil when I was alone with him – whether we were in Turtle HQ mulling over the computer records together or he was taking my hand in the dark to lead me into the jungle to show me interesting creatures or have me listen to weird mating calls. When he made eye contact. When he laughed. When he sang. And damn it, when he walked around half naked – which was most of the time!’

  ‘Oh wow. You’ve really got it bad, Lori! So, tell me, why didn’t you go with him again?’

  I think it’s quite obvious, after what I’ve just told her.

  ‘I mean, it sounds to me like you two had more than just a fling going on?’

  I shake my head. ‘Because it was like a holiday romance. I fancied him. I kissed him once. We watched sunsets together. That’s where the story has to end, unfortunately.’

  ‘Why? And why is it bad timing? I really don’t understand. He’s been separated from his wife for a few years and you are dealing with your separation. Surely your divorces are just a formality?’

  ‘That’s exactly what he said, but I don’t see that it’s as simple as that because…!’

  ‘Ye-es…?’ Summer laughs and waits for me to explain myself even more.

  ‘Because it’s a relationship built on sand – on a fantasy island. The main point being, it’s not real and the la
st thing Marielle said to me about her and Ethan’s relationship was that their love affair hadn’t survived leaving the island. She said to me – nous sommes touts hors d’amour – we are all out of love for each other.’

  ‘And trust the French to make even that sound romantic!’ Summer gasps.

  ‘I was afraid that Ethan and I wouldn’t survive leaving the island either,’ I confess. ‘That’s the real truth. I mean, rather than the bullshit I fed Ethan, about bad timings and our separations and our impending divorces.’

  ‘Why? Does Ethan remind you of Charles in some way?’

  ‘No. Not at all. Ethan is nothing like Charles. Ethan’s charming and clever and practical and he has such integrity. He spends his life working to make the world a better place for everyone and everything. Those are very attractive qualities in a man.’

  ‘Okay…’ Summer says. ‘So now we both know the real reason you turned Ethan down and I do understand. But I’m prepared to give love another go and so should you – you should call Ethan right now and tell him you’ll give him a chance. You never know, he could be The One. After all, it was fate that brought you two together!’

  I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. ‘You know, at first, I was so sure that fate was playing a big part in all of this but now I’m not so sure. I was told by a monk in Chiang Mai that I would receive a sure sign that would lead me to my place of happiness and, so far, I’ve seen nothing. There’s been no sure sign. No pointers. And so, I’ve had to conclude that no sign is indeed a sign in itself and this is not meant for me. That Ethan is not meant for me.’

  I decide to change the subject and tell her about the orangutan centre and how I plan to go over there and volunteer. ‘I’m planning to fly to Borneo tomorrow,’ I explain. ‘I’m going to go and apply in person for a position there for the next couple of months.’

  Summer looks a little hesitant but then she steels herself to tell me something that she maybe thinks I might not like to hear. ‘Look, Lori. I don’t wanna rain on your parade or anything, but I really doubt you’ll get into the orangutan orphanage programme this year. Those positions are highly sought after and fill up like a year or more in advance. You should give Ethan a chance – just take it slowly with him. I mean, from what you’ve said, he obviously really cares about you and you absolutely adore him. My mom always says, it’s better to do something and regret it than to never do it and to always wonder what might have been.’