"You know, talking helps with a lot of things. I'm all ears if you need me."
Katie looked at her mom and her kind smile. The words were on the tip of Katie's tongue but wouldn't go any further. Her mind urged her to talk, to spill the secrets, the pain and the need for her mom's embrace, yet her heart ached with pain and the difficulty and her stomach cringed at the thought of reaching out and needing help.
No. She had to do this alone.
"So how about that jewelry shop? Is it all handmade stuff or what?” Katie asked as she quickly rose from the bench and her mom joined her.
"I think so, let's go take a look.” Lea grabbed the bags and headed towards the storefront. Katie felt terrible. It was obvious that her mom was reaching out to her and she didn't want to hurt her feelings but she just couldn't talk. Not yet anyway.
Together they browsed a few more shops before heading home to make supper.
It was a hot, sunny morning. Ryan was on ‘House and Hose’ duty at the firehouse. He was more than half way through his detail, checking over the trucks and the equipment along with two other firefighters. It was a big responsibility, inspecting the trucks from the inside out. They had to check the oil, the air filters, gasoline and the water level of each Pumper Truck, clean up and prepare the equipment. Ryan and the team had refueled the vehicles, refilled the water tanks, recharged the air tanks and extinguishers, washed the trucks and hand tools then dried and reloaded the hoses.
Ryan just about had the vehicles and equipment to ready status.
Some other jobs included in ‘House and Hose’ duty were inspecting, maintaining, and repairing, as necessary, all fire related equipment.
Ryan was holding the clipboard in hand that included a checklist. He came across a few small problems, reported the damage on his checklist then replaced the damaged equipment. All other equipment was tested and proved to function properly.
The rest of the crew washed down the floors and finished sweeping up the garage bay. It was a quiet morning, no calls and a good time for maintenance check.
Katie took a deep breath and got out of her new royal blue jeep. The Ladder Three firehouse was huge, with its five bay garages. It not only had two ladder trucks but a rescue pumper, a tank truck and an emergency response, field communication bus. She was nervous about possibly seeing Ryan at the firehouse and she tried pushing the thoughts away. There were four different crews. Each with different shifts, so there was a fair chance that Ryan would not be there today.
She could not wait to see the chief. Michael told her that William had been asking about her. He had helped her brothers and especially her mother get through a lot after their father's death.
She had been home for nearly a month now.
Katie heard a whistle and turned towards a group of firefighters. They were smiling wide and staring flirtatiously.
Ryan picked up his head to see what grabbed the guys’ attention. He nearly bumped his head on the low hanging pipe in the garage when he saw it was Katie.
Michael came out of nowhere and instantly Ryan was angry.
Damn she was gorgeous and her hair was almost as long as he imagined it would be. The thick brown locks brushed against the center of her back. The short beige skirt hung snugly against her thighs and the brown, sleeveless v-neck shirt she wore accentuated her full round breasts. Immediately his groin ached something terrible and he could have sworn he smelled baby's breath.
This was insane. He could not have smelled her perfume from where he stood. Katie was doing more than just piquing his interest. Thoughts of her consumed his mind.
Ryan shifted his weight and walked towards Katie's direction. Brother of Billy or not he may not be able to play by the unwritten rules. Katie was just too damn appealing.
"Hey you made it,” Michael said to her as he approached, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
"Hey Katie!” Billy yelled out as he and the chief made their way towards the front of the garage.
"My God, you're a sight. Whoohoo!” Chief Rodney yelled, as he picked Katie up and twirled her around in a circle.
She giggled as he gently set her back down.
Katie was glad she finally paid William a visit.
"We missed you, darling. Look at you. All grown up. You're gorgeous.” The chief held Katie at arms length smiling wide with tears in his eyes.
"I missed you, Chief. It's good to be home,” Katie said and the other firefighters joined the group including Ryan.
Katie purposely avoided eye contact with Ryan as Michael began the introductions.
"Guys this is our little sister, Katie,” Michael announced then began to introduce each firefighter.
"Sister!” Ryan blurted out.
Katie caught site of Ryan just as his mouth dropped, and a look of anger covered his face. She instantly felt badly for misleading him.
"Angel!” Brad yelled out as he walked slowly towards the gathering crowd.
Katie was relieved.
"Hey, I didn't think I would see you here, Brad,” Katie said then accepted his kiss on her cheek.
"I can't stay away.” Brad smiled.
"Colt's in the back cooking up a storm, come on,” the chief told everyone, and then they all walked towards the kitchen.
Katie followed them through the garage bays. The fire trucks were enormous and sparkled brightly from the invading rays of sun. As they walked past the equipment Katie caught sight of the turnout coats, boots and other gear lined up against the wall. Her heart raced at the sight and the instant emotions it stirred within her.
The chief looked back at her and smiled. He shook his head side to side.
"I can't believe you're home Katie."
Katie smiled then continued talking to the chief. She felt badly about not coming to see him sooner.
"You look fantastic, Katie. You're all grown up. I remember when you were a little girl. Now here you are a well respected nurse."
"I'm sorry I didn't come to see you sooner, Chief. There's no excuse. I guess I thought it would be too rough coming to the firehouse. I don't know."
Katie looked around her. The firefighters were finishing their lunches, her brothers looked happy.
"Don't be silly Katie. I'll always be here for you. Now that you've finally visited I expect a few more visits now and again you hear?"
"You got it, Chief.” Katie smiled then took a seat at the large dining table in the kitchen.
A few minutes later, she had a plate full of food.
They sat at a long wide table with wooden benches for seats. It could easily seat twenty men at once but right now about a dozen of them sat around the table.
Katie absorbed the moment, the atmosphere, suddenly recalling her childhood memories and visits to the firehouse.
"It's a Goddamn shame if you ask me,” Katie heard one of the firefighters call out as a heated discussion apparently started to the far right of where she sat.
"Like it's not tough enough for us to go out there, not knowing what we're running into,” Billy added in an annoyed tone of voice.
"What the hell is this world coming to?” Michael replied.
"What are you boys all fired up about?” The chief asked, placing his fork down on the plate in front of him.
"That damn psycho arsonist they were talking about on the news this morning. Just a quick story but I got the gist of it,” Freddie said.
"Yeah I heard about that. The guy the police are after had started a huge fire out in Bolton Bay at some nightclub over a year ago. Numerous people were killed including a firefighter,” the chief added.
"How long has this been going on for?” Billy asked.
"The report I heard said over a year but they didn't get into too many details. There was some recent fire at a restaurant that they believe the same individual started,” the chief added.
Katie could feel the color leave her cheeks. Her heart raced, her palms began to sweat and the panic set in.
They were talking about The Clu
b fire and the firefighter killed was Bradley.
Katie had allowed herself to forget what the town of Bolton Bay still faced. A demon, her demon, head on.
Instantly came the nagging images of Earl Redding Jr. Images of his picture from the numerous newspaper clippings claiming to be an accurate description, yet, no one was one hundred percent certain. Those images, his voice her mind created, haunted her dreams. Sometimes to the point where she felt that Redding would seek her out, wanting to finish the job and cause more pain.
His intentions and reasoning labeled by some textbook case of paranoia and infatuation with fire described by many so-called ‘specialists’ the detectives sought out for help.
Katie shook her head as the pain in her chest increased with thoughts of the madman. He was not coming after her.
The thought that a recent fire took place and that she never heard from Lou, was unnerving. Lou would have called her if Redding were still at large and starting fires.
"Katie, Katie ... did you hear me?” Billy interrupted Katie's thoughts. She had not heard a word of the conversation once they said Bolton Bay and that a firefighter died.
"I'm sorry, what did you ask?"
"I asked if you knew about the arsonist. You lived out there, do you recall the story or the fire?"
Katie swallowed hard and could feel all the moisture leave her mouth. The dryness made her feel as if she could suffocate for the lack of moisture and her need to lie to the multiple staring eyes upon her.
"Yes but, I can't remember the specifics,” she practically blurted out as she struggled for the words. Her gaze locked with her brother Michael's gaze.
He seemingly noticed her uneasiness about the question as he changed the subject.
"What about that jackass who dressed up in a turnout coat, pretending to be a fireman?” Michael asked.
"Oh yeah, that was the guy who broke into the woman's apartment pretending to be a firefighter then sexually assaulted the poor woman. Freaking pansy,” Freddie added and the conversation continued as relief filled Katie to her core.
She nearly lost it, right there in front of everyone. She wanted to run and cry but remained in her seat. Did she honestly think that news of the serial arsonist would not reach her hometown of Warrens Cove? It was a national story at this point and the fact that Redding was still at large was an outrage. Worst of all, she cringed at the thought of her family finally knowing the truth. How would she explain her way of thinking, her need to isolate herself and keep them away as she did? Being at the firehouse right now, made her see the comradeship, the emotional and physical bonds she should have embraced but instead denied existence of. She stayed silent, absorbing the stories they told, the sound of laughter and safety emitted through Ladder Company Three.
An hour later, they were all laughing and having a good time until the bell sounded. The atmosphere changed. The laughter stopped and seriousness filled the air.
Katie jumped just as the firefighters did. It was a natural response. The bell rang loudly as the men ran for their gear and started each engine. Katie wanted to cover her ears.
The sound stirred memories both good and bad. Her heart pounded in her chest.
Katie swallowed hard.
"We gotta go sis. You okay?” Michael asked.
She nodded her head indicating she was fine even though she was not.
Ladder Company Three cleared out in what seemed like seconds.
The thought that any of them may not return the same way they left, sent chills through her body. The dizziness set in and an intense nervousness and panic. She contemplated following the trucks to the location, wanting to see for herself that everything was going to be all right. She had not witnessed any fires since the one at The Club. She only got to see the aftermath, the victims, the injured and the ones who lives were either lost or spared.
"You can stick around and talk to me. I'm on limited duty,” Brad interrupted Katie's thoughts. The sound of the sirens in the distance echoed in her ears. Flashes of the fire filled her mind as she closed her eyes and grabbed the chair for support.
"Hey Angel, are you all right?” Brad asked, using his good arm to hold her steady.
Katie opened her eyes and forced a smile.
"Sorry Brad, yeah I'm fine. I got a little dizzy that's all.” Katie sat back down in the chair.
"I noticed you lose a bit of coloring in your cheeks. You sure you're all right?"
Brad sat down on the bench beside Katie as she folded her hands on her lap.
"I'm fine, really, just a bit tired that's all."
"You work long hours at the hospital huh?"
"Yes I do, but I love it."
"Well I'll tell you, I was glad to have you as a nurse. There are some doozies out there."
Katie laughed.
"I was glad to help."
"Well, I really mean it Angel. You have a special touch and real bedside manner that just doesn't exist in every person in your profession. It's something to be proud of."
Katie smiled. “I appreciate that."
"You sure you're all right?"
"Fine."
"How about a tour then? You can lean on me for support if you're feeling a bit dizzy,” Brad added with a wink as he held his hand out to her. She giggled then took his hand as she stood up from the bench.
Katie passed through the two main offices where the chief worked and the meeting rooms were located.
The hallway that led to the small sitting area was covered with framed pictures and posters of models in swimming suits.
"Sorry about those. The guys ... you know.” He shrugged his shoulders and appeared embarrassed.
Katie laughed as she moved closer to the wall.
There was a picture of Michael sitting on the bumper of a ladder truck. It appeared as though he just finished fighting a fire and the exhaustion set in.
"That fire was pretty intense, but your brother Michael did great. He saved two lives that day,” Brad stated and Katie's eyes widened in surprise.
"Really? When was this?” She leaned in closer trying to get a better look.
"About a year ago. He saved a little two year old and her mother."
Katie swallowed hard. She felt a mix of emotions. She was upset for not being here to celebrate the rescue with Michael and she was scared of the thought that he could have died in that fire and she was sad because she knew the feeling of loss.
She took a deep breath then continued to walk through the room.
"Your brother Billy is quite the fire fighter as well. I guess it runs in the McKeller family."
Katie smiled then quickly then turned away, trying to hide the emotion she felt.
Some radio chatter echoed in the distance and Brad excused himself.
Katie continued to look at each picture. The mementos reminded her of so much.
The fact that she lied about the extent of her injuries and the intensity of the fire she survived brought on the guilty feeling again.
Katie knew why she didn't confide in her family.
She glanced at the next series of photographs lined up in a shrine formation.
The words Lost Comrades stood out above the set.
Her eyes instantly found the picture of her father. Her father, a firefighter, had died in the line of duty when she was a senior in high school. The pain was too much for her. She loved her father. The thought caused an instant heaviness to fill her heart then the tears followed. It wasn't fair! Why did her dad have to die? She lowered her head and used the back of her hand to wipe away the tears. There was that helpless feeling again. She imagined her mother at that moment.
Lea had suffered so much and it was heart wrenching but Katie feared for the worse. She could not stay there, in Warrens Cove, just waiting for her two brothers, Michael and Billy to suffer the same fate as dad. She came from a family of firefighters and their profession chilled her to the bone. Katie had to leave Warrens Cove.
She glanced at each picture of firefi
ghters both young and old. Each of them remembered for their ultimate sacrifice.
Numerous newspaper articles were framed as well, displaying the series of kind words and memories about each of the firefighters.
Bradley was special too and many described him as being perfect from every one of his crew along with the Fire Chief.
She swallowed hard as thoughts of Bradley's funeral filled her mind. The sound of the bagpipes and the beat of the soft yet deep and distinguished bang, each time the drummer pounded the specially designed stick against the round instrument. During her father's funeral the same type of Irish bagpipe band played. A band mostly made up of the fire department's own crewmembers, brought together in times of happiness and times of sorrow. Katie hated the sound, yet loved it. Wiping her eyes she moved on, glancing around the room at the weight lifting equipment, magazines, and other things that intensified the feeling of being completely surrounded by firefighters and everything they stood for.
"Hey Angel, sorry about that."
Katie turned around, thankful for the interruption. “Is everything okay?"
"Everything is fine. The guys have it under control. It was a brush fire gone mad. They were able to stop it from spreading to the nearby house."
"Thank goodness."
Katie turned away hoping to avoid eye contact with Brad so he wouldn't see her teary eyes.
"Hey Angel, you okay?"
Katie was hesitant before she responded. Then she felt the hand on her shoulder.
"It's not easy to lose a loved one or a friend."
Katie locked gazes with Brad and a sympathetic smile.
"Your dad was a great man. He pulled me out of a jam or two years ago on the job.” She watched Brad move closer to the wall of pictures and right in front of one that contained a group of firefighters by a ladder truck.
Katie moved closer to get a better look.
She recognized her dad and Brad immediately.
"That's me in my younger days. I was a real ladies man,” he said then chuckled.
"You look great, Brad, and I'd say you still have the touch."
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