"What's so funny?"
"I know the type you're talking about, Michael. I've grown up around firefighters. I've seen Billy in action. To tell you the truth I've seen you in action as well.” Katie smiled. Michael huffed.
"Bullshit! I have respect for women. I don't go around flexing my muscles and letting the job help me get laid."
Katie laughed aloud and Michael stopped to stare at her. The mean look on his face instantly disintegrated. He had not heard his sister laugh like that in years.
Katie covered her mouth to try to settle down. She did not want to wake her mother.
"I'm sorry Michael, really I am. It's just that I recall some time ago you flexing in the mirror downstairs right before you were headed to The Pit. I just can't get the image out of my head.” She started giggling again.
"Okay. Enough,” he demanded pointing at her, then he stood up and walked towards the railing.
He was silent a moment then he turned back towards her.
"I missed talking to you, Katie. It feels right,” he admitted then turned towards the backyard and the night sky.
"I missed it too, Michael. I promise not to push you guys away anymore.” She looked down at her hands folded on her lap. She had not given her words a second thought before stating them aloud and it felt good. She felt at ease with Michael and the rest of her family.
Michael walked towards her and knelt down by her chair.
He covered her hand with his.
"I don't know why you didn't want us to fly out to Bolton Bay after the fire. You must have had your reasons, Katie, even though it's been hard for me to try to accept that. I want you to know that whenever you are ready to talk about it that I am here for you. We're your family, Katie, and we love you."
Katie wrapped her arms around her brother's neck and hugged him.
Michael was speechless. He held the tears in and tried to submerge the emotions he was feeling.
Did he finally break through to his sister?
Katie released her hold on Michael.
"I promise, when I'm ready I'll let you know. Please do not worry about me. I'm fine."
"And your hip?” He could not help but ask. He was concerned and immediately Katie tensed up.
"When I'm ready Michael. Please."
Michael seemed to sense the sadness that was present in her eyes, her tone, the plea for him not to push the issue. It was not the right time.
He stood up. “Goodnight Katie."
"Goodnight."
Katie laid her head back against the lounge chair. She closed her eyes and embraced the small feeling of relief. They loved her, it was obvious. Why should they ponder over the past? It was bad enough that she did.
Katie immersed the tears.
The scars would last forever. The ones across her hipbone were beginning to fade a little, the slight limp when she walked was barely noticeable, but she held onto it, she needed it to remain there.
She thought that Donny would be the one to notice the limp.
Did they all notice it? Would they ask questions just as Michael tried to?
The fire would be imbedded in her mind forever as well as the circumstances that led to that dreadful night whether she had permanent injuries or not.
They could call Katie a ‘survivor’ all they wanted. It was a title she wished she had never earned. The firefighters referred to her as ‘survivor'. The investigators, her friends, even Terry. Meanwhile, Terry's brother fell into the other category: victim.
Katie's mom and her family knew the basics about what happened. The hospital had called Katie's mom's house and got Billy on the phone. Billy called Michael and Donny then they told Mom and William.
Terry kept them abreast of what was happening. She didn't know all the details, just that her best friend Katie and her brother Bradley were caught inside the burning building and the explosion.
Bradley's sister Terry was Katie's roommate during and after college. They shared an apartment together in order to save money.
Katie closed her eyes, fighting the urge to think what may have happened between her and Bradley if he had survived. Katie and Bradley would have been together for Terry's wedding. They would have danced. Why wonder about the impossible?
She thought back to the train station, to the anticipation she'd felt about heading home. All those people traveling, some whose lives were lost.
Why am I alive?
She shook her head, trying to stop the nagging thought that at any time her life could end. She wasn't afraid of death anymore. She had come so close to it she once tasted it.
It was hard to leave Bolton Bay. Terry got married to Paul and they were buying a new house together. Katie hated being alone, tried to find a roommate but no one felt right.
Katie's brothers had been hounding her to return. Her oldest brother, Donny, was Chief resident doctor at the Warren County University Hospital and had gotten wind of a new nursing position in the hospital. The trauma unit wasn't as intense as the big city hospital Katie had worked in for the past five years but they were in need of an experienced trauma nurse. Donny pulled a few strings and passed along Katie's resume.
Maybe that's what she needed, to slow down and take a breather. She had been going at record pace, juggling her career, her relationship with Bradley, her social life and volunteer work.
The fire had woken her up, made her see that life was too short and how much she needed her family close to her. Katie waited a year in order to heal up. She couldn't come home with all those ugly injuries and her mind scattered and weak. She had needed to get the flashbacks under control or at least lessened.
No way could she do that to her mother. Mom had gone through hell when her husband died. The fact that he was a fireman and killed in the line of duty made the circumstances more difficult.
Fire played a major role in the McKeller family. Generations of firefighters and their daily battles against the devil's rage was what made them who they were. Katie's great grandfather, grandfather, father and brothers lived by their motto “First One In, Last One Out."
The tears filled Katie's eyes once again and she gulped the lump of emotion in her throat.
That was life as a firefighter. There was always the chance that something would go wrong, that they wouldn't come out of a fire the same way they went in.
Her dad didn't make it out alive, neither did Bradley.
Katie understood the risks all too well.
Saying it was in their blood was an understatement.
Talk about facing demons—Katie knew she was facing hers head on.
She looked out towards the night sky, embraced the fact that she was back home, a place that provided such comfort. She smiled thinking about Michael's reaction to her comment. Without even thinking, she fell right into the role of baby sister teasing her big brother. As if the years were merely weeks or days apart. They were just as close as they had always been.
She smiled and closed her eyes. Instantly, she recalled the scene at the hospital and Ryan Masters. So easily she held Michael's arm, pretending he was a boyfriend instead of her brother. She exchanged glances with Michael and he just seemed to read her mind. She smiled. Severed family bonds? Not a chance. There was just a bit of dust to clear away, yeah ... things were going to get better. Katie was sure of it.
Katie thought about Ryan again. It was so hard not to, especially after seeing him in uniform. He could be the cover model for any firefighting magazine or calendar. Yet, something about his appearance was inviting, approachable.
Katie recalled how Ryan stood in her way as she attempted to move towards his fellow firefighter, Brad. The back of her head nearly touched her shoulders as she looked up into Ryan's flirtatious eyes. His large stature, his bulging muscles appeared to yearn for release behind the stretched yellow suspenders. She immediately looked down and away from the alluring eyes of the downright, sexy firefighter. Her eyes quickly glanced over the trim waist of his firefighting pants that showed evid
ence of the fire he just worked. Then the large boots that peeked out below the cuff of the pants were monstrosities next to her size seven, white, nursing shoes. Before she left the room, she glanced towards him one last time figuring the chances of meeting him again had to be slim. The thought seemed possible until she conversed with her older brother Michael in the waiting room. As Ryan appeared, she felt the heat reach her cheeks the second she laid eyes on his smile. It was too much to handle and as she realized she was attracted to the man, Bradley's image entered her mind. Realizing she never thought about him until that moment brought on a ferocious and instant emotion of guilt.
Katie sighed as thoughts of Bradley consumed her mind.
The silly sensations she felt at the sight of Ryan and his flirtatious attributes disappeared from her body, replaced by a pain in her stomach.
Katie closed her eyes, allowing her mind to travel over the past, over the horror and the pain.
First, she recalled Bradley by her side in the fire, saving her life, giving her life and never returning. Then came images of the hospital, the pain and minimizing her injuries from the fire. Her family wanted to fly out to see her and she argued, pleaded and eventually started a fight with them to deter them from coming. The shame of causing such a fight was nothing compared to the guilt and loss she felt.
She wanted to be alone. She did not want the hugs, the sympathy, the words of condolence and regret. She wanted the unaccompanied sadness. If she isolated herself from her family then she could save them from the pain and from rekindling memories of Mack McKeller's death.
She sighed deep in thought, again, the heavy weight of emotion on her chest.
Katie imagined Bradley in her mind, smiling wide, laughing and loving her as they embraced. It was an image she fought so desperately to remember. She vowed never to forget Bradley, yet today, she did just that. Katie released a shaky breath, closing her eyes, allowing the tears to flow and vowing to ignore her attraction to Ryan or any thoughts of ever forgetting Bradley again.
She owed him too much and to forget so easily was unfair. Who was she? Wrapped up in her life, a life she never would have had if it were not for Bradley's ultimate sacrifice. She had no right to feel such deep attraction and sinful want for another man. The instant and intense attraction she felt for Ryan Masters was unacceptable.
Angry with herself she sat up and headed to bed.
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Chapter 4
Earl Redding Jr. sat at a table in the corner of the restaurant. He had been to this place every day this week wearing a different disguise, waiting to see the survivor, wanting to learn his routine. Redding followed him home to his apartment that he shared with three other guys. Starting the fire there would be too difficult. There was always someone home. Redding focused on the survivor. Today he was there to confirm the survivor's schedule and was able to see him up close.
The survivor was a main manager. He usually handled things in the back-offices but today there was a large party and some dissatisfied patrons to deal with. The young blonde manager could not handle the complaints or satisfy the patron so the survivor stepped in.
He looked nervous, scared and Redding wondered if he had already leaked information to the enemies. Could they be watching Redding right now? There was a great possibility and the longer this survivor lived the chances were greater that Redding could be caught.
An eerie feeling consumed Redding's gut, the sensation to move quickly, attack and strike then disappear unnoticed. He was a pro at that and he owed it all to the devil. He heard the voice in his mind. "They're here ... they're watching you." Redding scanned the restaurant with his eyes looking for the spies that ‘had’ to be there. His hands began to shake and he reached into his pocket and held the lighter between his fingers.
The feel of the metal against his fingertips, the metal roller he ran his thumb across, gave him calmness.
Instantly visions of flames, fire and scorching heat filled his every thought. He was calming down, re-evaluating the situation and deciding his next move.
Redding paid the bill and headed towards the door, carefully watching everything going on around him. "They're watching you. Waiting to follow you, move faster." The voice continued to nag him.
He walked down the sidewalk, the voice directed him towards an older man in a suit standing near the corner talking on the payphone. Redding held his gaze a moment, instantly aware of the enemy.
Was he a spy? Were there more around him? He had better pass this bus stop and head towards another only a block to the right and three more blocks over. It was out-of-the-way but he could not take the chance that they would catch him.
Redding rounded the corner just as the man in the suit hung up the phone.
Redding looked over his shoulder. The man was following him, heading in the same direction.
"Don't get caught. I need you, you are my chosen one," the Devil commanded in a deep chilling tone. Redding covered his ears, shortly closed his eyes and they were burning with tears. He demanded himself to focus and to stay calm.
Redding picked up the pace. The man in the suit did not.
Redding did not trust him one bit, he was smarter than some spy was. The devil was on his side and they had a plan.
Redding rounded the last corner, this was it, the bus stop was right ahead.
By the bus stop, the man in the suit stood a few feet behind Redding but he kept his gaze upon him.
The bus pulled to the curve. Redding let the man in the suit board first. The man was hesitant then boarded. Redding smiled as he caught the spy's gaze and held it strong. He had him. Identified him and the spy took a seat with his back towards Redding.
"That's right. You are in control, you are my chosen one, and together we will succeed." The Devil chanted and praised Redding for his abilities, his control and his strength. Redding sat two seats behind the spy waiting for his next move.
The bus continued its journey and Redding continued to watch the man in the suit. He smiled at a woman wearing a red dress and holding a shopping bag. Another spy?
Two more stops then it was Redding's turn to get off but the spies were still on the bus, waiting ... watching.
He could feel the perspiration penetrate through his brow. It was not that he was nervous, but there were so many witnesses around and he could not afford to get caught. The devil's list contained a few more names, Redding had a list to complete.
One more stop, the man in the suit rose from his seat with the woman in red. Redding grabbed the lighter and the small revolver he held in his sport coat pocket. He was ready then suddenly they exited the bus. They did not look back, they walked down the block in opposite directions.
Redding sighed with relief and disappointment. They gave up. They knew he was ready to take them out. He won again.
Redding smiled then waited for the bus to stop one more time. He could see the sign from the window. The Rainbow. it was the only bright thing about the place. Redding could not wait to get inside and prepare for the upcoming evening. He was about to end the life of another ‘not so lucky’ spy.
* * * *
Katie and Lea headed to the boardwalk after grabbing a quick lunch together.
She felt at ease with her mom, recalling all the times they had gone shopping together.
They had a close relationship at one time and Katie was determined to have that closeness back again.
"This is so much fun. I haven't played hooky from work in years,” Lea stated as she held her daughter's arm while they walked side by side along the boardwalk.
"I haven't been shopping like this in a while, either. I missed it."
Lea stopped and led Katie to a vacant bench along the boardwalk.
It faced the water and the two of them absorbed the ocean breeze.
"I forgot how beautiful this spot is,” Katie said.
"I'm sure there were gorgeous beach settings in Bolton's Bay,” Lea said. She placed her shopping bags d
own on the ground between her feet.
"Oh there were, but I was so busy working at the hospital I didn't have the chance to enjoy it like when I first started college."
"I remember the first time I came out to visit you there at the dorm. My little girl all grown up and away at college. I was so proud of you."
"Thanks, Mom. I remember when Donny came to see me when I moved into the apartment. He was giving the rundown about safety, locking the doors and being aware of what's going on around me while walking home and checking to be sure no one was following me. I swear, I think he stuck around a few days after he said he was heading home, just to make sure I took his advice."
Lea laughed.
"He did actually, and came back home to report to me and your brothers."
"Oh my God. That little sneak.” Katie started laughing.
"We were always worried about you."
Lea stared out at the water. Katie was silent. The more she spoke to her family the more she realized how much she missed them.
"I'm so glad you're back home and Donny is so proud of you. He is very impressed with your experience and knowledge."
"I know he is. I love working with him. I never imagined it would be possible."
"I heard you and Michael up talking the other night. Which is surprising, because getting that man to talk is like pulling teeth. He is so much like Mack."
Katie's eyes widened in shock. Again, she was caught off guard at her mom's relaxed ability to bring up her husband. As if sensing Katie's anxiety, Lea covered her hand with her own.
"I noticed that every time someone brings up your father, you tense up. We all have our ways of healing, Katie. That's what we continue to do."
"I missed out on that by leaving right after high school for college."
"You did but maybe now that you're back home, you'll be able to heal more fully."
"I don't know, Mom.” She looked out towards the water again. She wanted to tell her mom about Bradley. She wanted to cry and mourn her father the right way. But she couldn't. She made her choices and now she had to live with those choices and deal with the consequences alone.
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