Holding on to Someday

by K. Leah

  There is a pause, and for a second, I wonder if I lost connection, but then Brady asks, “Are you in your hotel room now?”

  “Yes. Why?”

  “I’m switching you over to FaceTime. Hold out your phone,” he instructs.

  I hold the phone in front of me and try tilting my head this way and that to get a flattering angle while I wait for the connection to establish. After a moment, his beautiful, smiling face appears before me, and I can’t be happier to see him.

  “There you are,” he says with a huge grin plastered on his face. “If you have to be away, at least I can still see your beautiful face this way. I am missing you and our coffee dates.”

  I'm blushing, and there's no hope of hiding it. I know he notices.

  “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this last night,” he says.

  I laugh. "I’m glad you didn’t. It would not have been a pretty sight to see me with my hair piled on top of my head and no makeup on.”

  “Clara, there will never be a time when I don’t think you are beautiful. You could be wearing glasses, an old T-shirt, and sweatpants and that wouldn’t change how I see you,” he says matter-of-factly.

  “Well, you need to see me in that before you make such a bold statement," I say. "But that is sweet of you to say, Brady.”

  “I’m just saying… it doesn’t matter to me. I know beauty when I see it. And it’s looking at me right now,” he says and winks at me. I shy away and turn my face from the screen.

  “Eyes up here, beautiful,” he commands, and I focus back on him.

  “So, Wednesday. We on for coffee at our usual?” he asks.

  “Yep. I’m looking forward to it,” I tell him.

  “Me too. The past two days have been the longest of my life,” he says, making a silly expression to fit his statement.

  Giggling, I tell him, “I know the feeling.”

  He smiles a genuine smile that tells me he misses me as much as I miss him. I glance up and the clock and know I need to wrap up our conversation.

  “I’ve got to get ready because we are meeting again in 30 minutes, but maybe we can do this again tomorrow?” I ask.

  “Or later again tonight?” he asks with a smirk.

  “You are crazy, Brady Reese!” I say as I laugh at him.

  “About you,” he says, and my heart skips a beat.

  “Alright. I’ll call you when I get back tonight, okay?”

  “Okay. Have a good supper,” he tells me.

  “Bye,” I say with a smile as I end the call.

  Oh my, my, my. I rest my head against the headboard and begin to get excited as I think about going home tomorrow. It makes me even more excited to know I get to start my day with him on Wednesday.

  When I get back to the hotel after dinner, I FaceTime Brady again to say goodnight. We spend most of the time making silly faces at each other, and as the call ends, I get bold and blow him a kiss. I think he likes it judging from the look on his face. His reaction fuels sweet dreams to hold me over for one more day until I can see him again.

  24

  Real Vases

  All I can think about is meeting Brady for breakfast. I park my car in my usual spot and walk toward the café with a noticeable pep in my step. I see Brady before he sees me - sitting outside on the bench waiting for me. As soon as he spots me, his face lights up like a Christmas tree. Standing, he closes the gap between us as he walks toward me. He grabs me around the waist, picking me up, and I laugh as my feet dangle in the air. As he sits me back on my feet, he leans in and presses his lips gently against mine.

  Nothing soothes the soul like receiving affection from someone you care for. I realize more each day how much I do care for Brady. I’ve said all along that he's different, and it’s been confirmed every time we are together.

  “Hey, you!” I manage to say as I pull back to look at his handsome face.

  “Hey, yourself,” he says as he links his fingers behind my back. I lay my head against his chest and close my eyes - his embrace feels so right. He pulls me closer and hugs me a little tighter, and the way he rests his chin on top of my head tells me how glad he is to see me.

  “Do we have to go to work today?” he asks me. “Wouldn’t it be nice to skip today? I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. Me and you.”

  I know he’s kidding - at least I think he’s kidding - when I see the corners of his mouth turn up.

  “I’m serious. I think I feel a cold coming on,” he says as he makes a fake cough, cough sound.

  “As nice as that would be, Brady, I don’t think I would be able to pull that off after being out of the office for two days." I give an exaggerated sigh, "One can dream though.” I'm only half kidding - I wish we could play hooky together.

  “Tonight, then. Let’s go out tonight,” he says. “Or we can stay in. I don’t think I can bear another night away from you.” I smile and nod yes, as he nuzzles my cheek. “We can decide where later, but right now I need to get some coffee.”

  He pulls me inside to order our drinks. After he pays, we sit across from each other at a nearby table, and I tell him about my trip. Our short time together this morning passes all too quickly. Brady looks down at his watch, and I know we have to part ways.

  “Let me walk you to work,” he says. I don’t argue.

  “Okay,” I tell him, placing my hand in his.

  The walk seems to go by even faster than breakfast. Standing outside my building, I turn to face him, and he pulls me in for a tender kiss. “Have a wonderful day, Clara." The smile tugging at his lips is both flirtatious and appealing. He taps my nose, and I giggle. I seem to do that a lot around him. “Bye, Brady.”

  I’m all smiles as I walk into the office, and I know my expression gives me away when Angie sees me. “Hey, Angie,” I tell her as I grab a stack of messages from her desk.

  “Heeeeeey, Clara! It looks like someone is in a good mood this morning,” she says.

  “I had coffee with Brady before I came in. It is a great morning!”

  “You’ve got it bad. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this chipper the morning after a business trip. I think Mr. Brady Reese should stick around....for all of our sakes. I’ll take this version of Clara any day,” Angie jokes.

  “Oh stop it! I’m not that bad. But it is nice having something to look forward to when I come home,” I say as I think about all the times I’ve come back from a trip only to find myself feeling somber. If I’m honest with myself, I’m that way all the time. Except for the past few weeks. Now I have something to look forward to, feeling life blooming within me. I feel the vibration of my phone and reach into my purse to pull it out.

  Brady: Have you decided yet? About tonight… I’m a little impatient. :)

  It’s not even been 15 minutes, and he’s already texting me this morning. And you know what? I don’t mind a bit.

  Me: It doesn’t matter to me. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care what we do tonight.

  I hit send and think about my response. We have been very forthcoming in our past few conversations. I think me being out of town showed both of us that this thing means something more than just a fling.

  Brady: I’ll be at your place at 6:30. I’m bringing pizza and a movie. I’m keeping you to myself tonight.

  Chills prickle my arms. Brady plans to keep me to himself.... I like the sound of that. A lot.

  Me: Sounds good to me. ;)

  Okay, Clara, head out of the clouds. I have to try to focus on work, but as thoughts of Brady fill my head, I find myself daydreaming through much of the morning. Just as I finally get into a groove and start getting some things accomplished, Angie buzzes my office.

  “Umm. Clara… there is a… delivery for you," she says with a smile in her voice.

  Delivery. What in the world could this be? I get up from my chair, and as I round the corner, a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers greets me. An “ohmygosh!” escapes me and the delivery guy looks down at the card and asks, “Are you C
lara Willet?”

  “Yes,” I reply.

  “These are for you ma’am,” he says as he hands over the bouquet.

  “Thank you,” I tell him and make my way back toward my office with the flowers in hand. As I sit them on my desk, I find a handwritten note attached to the vase that says:

  Now you have your very own vase. I plan for you to use it often. Can’t wait to see you tonight. -Brady

  My heart might very well pound out of my chest. I put my hand on my chest to feel the rapid beats I hear in my ears.

  This. Man.

  I can't begin to explain the joy that fills my soul when I think about Brady. I can sense Angie on my heels as I walk back into my office. I turn around to see her standing there with her hands cupped over her mouth, with a huge grin.

  “They're from him, aren’t they?” she asks. I nod my head yes, and she leans in closer to ask, “What does the card say?”

  I hand it over for her to read, and I stand there speechless as a sweet warmth fills my chest. I hear Angie gasp and then an “awwww” from her as she finishes the card.

  “Angie, I am falling so hard for him. I just can’t help it any longer.” She doesn’t say anything as she comes over and hugs me. My eyes fill with tears, and one slips down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away as she pulls back.

  “It’s been so long, you know. I never…” I trail off, shaking my head. Angie knows what I'm talking about, because her eyes gloss over as well, and she reaches out to squeeze my hand. I never thought I would have a chance at love again. Even though I've only known Brady a few weeks, I feel like this could be a game changer for me.

  25

  Meet the Parents

  Brady and I have fallen into a comfortable routine over the past couple of months. Most mornings we meet for coffee before work, and if I’m out of town, he calls and texts me throughout the day. FaceTime has become a nightly ritual when I’m away, and when I’m home, he’s either at my place, or I’m at his. Some nights we go out, and other nights we stay home. I don’t care what we do, and neither does he; just being together is what matters. We’ve come to crave that time with each other because we fit together so easily, and our relationship has bloomed threefold.

  He’s also made good on that note he sent with the first bouquet of flowers delivered to my office. It’s a rarity if my kitchen table isn’t filled with a fragrant bouquet. The constant presence of flowers in my house symbolizes something that has been missing for so many years. They represent life, and they remind me that someone cares about me. My vase collection has become quite large now.

  Even though we have reached couple status, it bothers me a little that I haven’t met Brady’s family yet. Since they are so close by, I thought I would have met at least a brother or sister by now. He talks about them all the time and sees them frequently. Maybe he’s not there yet. We still haven’t had the conversation about his late wife either. It eats at me a little, too, but I push it out of my mind because I’m sure it’s hard for him to talk about it.

  Today Brady and I have a free Saturday, so we decide to spend the day together running errands and maybe some shopping. I hear the doorbell ring, and when I open the door, I’m greeted with, “Good morning, milady.” Brady bows and presents a box of doughnuts to me.

  I can't help but giggle, because he’s always making funny comments and doing silly things. I love that about him. I take the box, and he straightens to pull me in for a kiss.

  “Hurry up and eat your doughnuts because I have a big day planned for us,” Brady tells me, as he walks into my apartment. I’m curious as to what big means to him, and if he has a secret, he’s keeping from me. Probably so.

  Giving him a sly look, I ask, “What are you up to, mister?”

  “For me to know and you to find out,” he says, as he taps the tip of my nose. “Now hurry up and eat! Chop, chop!”

  I scarf down two doughnuts, and before I can even swallow the last bite, he has my keys and purse in hand.

  “Okay, okay… geez. Let a girl finish eating!” I complain as he pushes me out the door.

  We climb into his SUV, and as he cranks it up, I hear a song I haven’t heard in a long time coming from the radio. A familiar love song fills the car as he puts it in drive. I rest my head against the seat as we head toward the mall. The timing of the song was impeccable. Even though I know he has no control over the radio, and the fact that it began to play right as I got into the car couldn’t have been more perfect. As the chorus comes on Brady reaches over and grabs my hand, bringing it to his lips. I open my eyes to look at him as he kisses my hand tenderly. He darts his eyes toward me and smiles. The words from the song fill my ears, and I can’t help but wonder if his kissing my hand at that specific moment means something more than just a kiss. I continue listening to the words...

  Maybe I’m reading too much into the lyrics, but I can’t help but feel these words encapsulate everything I feel about Brady….and I’m hoping him kissing my hand at that moment means he feels the same. After the song finishes there is a brief pause, then another love song comes on right away. When a third love song starts playing without any advertisement or interruption, I turn to look at Brady.

  “Is this a cd?” I ask.

  He keeps his eyes focused on the road, but the corners of his mouth turn up.

  “Did you make a mixtape?” I ask, jokingly.

  “Maybe,” he says, smiling wider.

  “Oh my gosh… you made a mixtape of love songs!” I exclaim. “Are we back in 1990?” I ask, laughing at the sweet gesture.

  He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses the top of my knuckles. There are so many thoughts going through my head at this moment, but I have to put them on halt when we pull into the parking lot of a department store. Brady doesn’t say anything as he parks the car. He hops out and quickly walks around the car to open my door for me. As I step out of the car, he smiles at me.

  “Yes, Clara, I made you a mixtape…well, a playlist would be a better word. Call me old-fashioned, but back in the day, that’s what you did for a girl when you really liked her. You know, a young man put all the songs that described how he felt about the girl on a cassette tape, and then he gave it to her. So yeah… but I did at least make it compatible with this century.” He holds up his phone and says, “Digital media. Come on, let’s go shop,” he says as he pulls me the rest of the way out of the car. He links his fingers through mine, and we thread our way through the rows of cars and into my favorite store.

  I pull his arm closer to me with my other hand, “Thank you, Brady. I can’t wait to hear the rest of the playlist.”

  After our shopping spree, I am famished. As we load our bags into his SUV, I ask where we should eat lunch. The mischievous look on his face tells me he’s up to something again.

  “Brady?” I ask.

  “Clara,” he responds, playfully.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I have a surprise for you,” he says.

  “Okay…” I say hesitantly.

  Now I’m super curious as to what is going on.

  Brady takes my hands into his. “We are having lunch with my parents, and the rest of my family. I want you to meet them.” He trains his eyes on me trying to gauge a response, while mine grow wide with excitement.

  “Really! Oh my goodness! I’m so nervous,” I proclaim.

  “No need to be nervous. My family will love you, and you will love them,” he assures me. “They are excited to meet the woman I talk about non-stop, and who takes up all my spare time,” he teases.

  “So where are we meeting them?” I ask.

  “At their house. Mom is cooking lunch for us.”

  I’m sure my expression shows my nervousness because he gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.

  “Clara, don’t worry about a thing,” he says as he opens my door and helps me inside.

  Brady keeps looking over and smiling at me during the ride to his parents’ house. We also continue listening to the playl
ist he created for me. As the music fills the air, I think about all these great songs, old and new, and what they symbolize. They all relay a message of love and adoration.

  Finally, Brady pulls into the driveway of a brick, ranch-style house. Brady sits in the driveway for a few moments, looking straight ahead. When he turns to look at me, I do the same. He takes my hand, “Clara, I haven’t brought anyone home to meet my parents since….her. So today means a lot to me.”

  I know by his reference to “her” that he means his late wife. He still hasn’t told me about her, but I know he will when he’s ready, so I try not to push it. He closes his eyes for a moment as if to steady himself, and then he looks at me.

  “You mean a lot to me, is what I really should be saying. It’s important to me that you know all of me, including my family….and it’s important they know you as well. I have absolutely no doubt that you will fit in perfectly here, and I know I threw this on you last-minute, but please don’t worry about a thing.”

  I know what he’s saying is heartfelt. Oddly enough, that puts me at ease, and I know without any doubt, that I am falling in love with this man. He grabs both of my hands, and with a huge smile on his face, he says, “So let’s go inside. Okay?” I nod, and we make our way to the front door.

  He doesn’t knock, he opens the door and calls out, “We’re here!”

  A beautiful lady comes around the corner with a welcoming smile, and arms held wide, saying, “Ahhh!!! I’m so glad you two are here!” She pulls Brady into a hug and then turns to hug me as well. “Clara, I am so happy you are here.” I immediately like her. Hugging her is as comfortable as if I were hugging my mom.,

  “Mom, this is Clara… Clara, this is my mom, Carolyn.”

  She is all smiles, and still holding on to my arms, when she says, “Welcome, welcome to our home. Were you surprised when Brady told you that you were coming here?” she asks.