by Lisa Olsen
I gave instructions to Lee that if anyone was looking for me (besides Carys) I’d be holed up in my parlor, figuring that might cut down on the odds of encountering her. But before I’d taken three steps, Bishop burst into the hall, the relief on his face a palpable thing when he spotted me. He jogged the last few feet, pushing up the sleeves of his form fitting shirt as he reached me.
“This is it, huh?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“Where’s Rob?”
“He’s already gone. He’s not coming home with us,” I added before Bishop could ask if that meant he’d already gone on to the airport to wait for us or anything like that. Sympathy warred with elation for control of his features, but I stopped him when he moved to embrace me.
“That doesn’t change anything we said last night,” I reminded him gently. Rob might be out of the picture, but that didn’t mean I could cut him out of my heart with the snap of my fingers – short of seeking Jakob’s compulsion, and that wasn’t about to happen. And it definitely didn’t change the fact that Bishop belonged to Carys, whether he wanted to or not.
Bishop nodded. “I’ve got all the time in the world. Time for you to sort through your feelings and before we know it, Carys will get distracted by some new boy toy and I’ll be free.”
“Love shouldn’t be this hard,” I murmured, remembering Rob’s words to me, but Bishop broke out into a glorious smile.
“It’s not hard, Anja. Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. Being in love with you hadn’t always been a picnic, but the loving part, it’s as easy as lying.”
I had to blink fast again to keep back the tears. “No fair quoting Firefly to me.”
“What can I say, you’ve had quite an influence on me,” he smiled, offering me a clean handkerchief from his pocket. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you and Rob, but are you sure you want to leave just yet? You don’t have to stay here, you could always get a place in London, or Paris. Tuscany is beautiful this time of year.”
“No, I think I’d better get on home and figure out what my next steps are. Hey, by the way, you know that bounty you guys have on Carter?” It was time to get that thing revoked.
Bishop rolled with the subject change without missing a step. “We’re not the ones offering the bounty, I’d talk to Felix about that if I was you.”
I couldn’t help but frown at that. Felix was the one who put up the bounty? “But you guys still have him on your most wanted list, right?”
“He is on our list of sanctioned kills, yes.”
They had a list of sanctioned kills? Where did that fit into their revised charter? “Do you think you could grant him amnesty or something? You know he wasn’t responsible for killing Tommy and he hasn’t killed anyone since I compelled him not to.”
“You compelled him not to kill people? Doesn’t that sort of limit his effectiveness as a vampire Hunter?”
“No, it just means we have to get more creative.”
Bishop raised a brow. “We?”
“It’s a long story,” I waved it away. “The point is, he’s not doing anything wrong, there’s no reason for the Order to target him.”
He thought it over for a few seconds before giving me the nod. “Fine, I’ll rescind the kill order, but that won’t help you with the bounty.”
“I’ll take care of that if you can keep the Order off his back.”
“It doesn’t mean my guys won’t go after him freelance for as long as that bounty’s offered. Hell, I thought about taking him out myself,” he joked. At least I thought he was joking.
“Trust me, Carter’s one of the good guys. I bet you could even be friends if you tried.”
“Don’t hold your breath on that one,” he snorted.
“Well, he’s under my protection now, so if you really want to make me happy…”
“I already said I wouldn’t kill him, what more do you want from me?” he scowled, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Not a thing.” This was exactly how I wanted to remember him – a mixture of hard bitten cop and lovely sentiment all wrapped up into one gorgeous enigma that was Bishop. “If you’re ever in San Francisco…”
He recovered his smile. “You know where my first stop will be.”
Bishop was right, it wasn’t hard to love him at all. It was the being in love part that sucked on occasion, leaving him now being one of those occasions. “It’s not the right time for us. I hope someday it will be, but not now.”
“Maybe…” he started to say, but Maggie and Tucker appeared with his belongings stuffed into two cardboard boxes he had stacked on top of each other. There was more I wanted to say to him too, but it was time to leave.
“Maybe,” I nodded, giving him a last smile before I turned to go.
In the car, I listened to Maggie and Tucker make whispered plans in the back seat and it made me smile. Whipping out my phone, I sent a message to Carter. You’re officially off the Order’s hit list. You’re welcome.
Aw man, don’t do me any favors. Life just got super boring.
I smiled, picturing his sulky pout. Get ready for it to get un-boring. I’m coming home.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
The farther away Anja got, the more uncomfortable Bishop felt staying behind at Vetis. The fact that Rob hadn’t gone home with her tipped the scales highly in his favor, but still, the timing wasn’t right. He could accept that and give Anja the space she needed to muddle through her swirl of emotions, but as long as he stayed with Carys, it would never be their time.
It was up to him to take the first step, and Bishop started by going back to his bedroom to pack up his gear. He debated back and forth whether he should risk saying goodbye to Carys at all, or leave her a letter. Or maybe nothing? That might be the strongest message of all.
That decision was taken out of his hands when Carys appeared at his door, entering without knocking. “There you are,” she said, a scolding note to her voice. “I’ve been looking for you for ages. Where did you bed down for the day?”
“Down in my old quarters on the lower levels.” Never mind the fact that he’d known about her fight with Anja and that she hadn’t been in his bedroom anymore, Bishop hadn’t been able to stomach the idea of sleeping in that bed.
“Ah, my sweet Ulrik, ever jealous,” she smiled, sitting on the end of the bed. “That’s good. I was beginning to doubt you cared.”
He ignored Carys and her useless prattle, gathering up the last of his toiletries from the bathroom and stowing them in his bag.
“What are you doing?” Carys asked.
“I’m leaving.”
“That much seems obvious, where are you going? Not down to those primitive levels you spoke of, they’re simply barbaric!”
“Nope.”
“Where then?”
“Rome to start with. There are some changes I need to set in motion in the Order.” The sooner he got his professional life settled, the sooner he could figure out his personal one.
“Again with the Order,” she huffed, falling back against the rumpled covers. “I wish you’d leave that petty business behind so we can have some real fun.”
“It isn’t petty and life isn’t all about fun.”
“It should be,” she grumbled, watching him look for his boots. “Are you cross with me, Ulrik?”
He didn’t trust himself to answer, pressing his lips into a thin line. A few more items to pack and he’d be set.
“But you still love me.” It was phrased as more of a statement, but he heard the question in her voice without having to look up and see it in her eyes.
“Yeah, you know I do.” She’d seen to that.
“That’s alright then,” she smiled, and Bishop lost the tiny thread of restraint holding back his temper.
“Is it? Is it alright?” he demanded, unable to choke back the bitterness. “It isn’t like I don’t know what you’re doing this time, Carys. I know you compelled me to love you.”
“I did no such thing!” The denial sprang to her lips and he lost it, his fist lashing out to smash against the mahogany bedpost. With a resounding crack, the heavy post crashed onto the bed, landing barely a foot from her head and sending the bed curtains tumbling down.
“The hell you didn’t!” he thundered, even as she scrambled out from under the pile of fabric.
Her eyes narrowed as she gained her feet. “Did Anja say something to you? She’s only trying to poison you against me, cariad. Our love is true. I’d never…”
“Stop it, just stop it,” he cut her off in disgust. “I know myself a lot better now than I did three hundred years ago. I sure as hell know I’d never love what you made me do last night.”
“You used to like it,” Carys pouted, dropping the innocent act.
“That was before I knew you were using your compulsion on me.”
“All I did was give you a nudge so you could let your inhibitions go.”
“No, you took away my free will to choose. I’d call that more than a nudge.”
“Where’s the harm?” she asked, edging closer to him. “You enjoyed it, I know you did.” Her hand slid over his arm in a light caress. “I felt it inside me.”
“And how am I feeling now?” he glowered, ripping his arm free of her touch. “You don’t get it at all, do you? If you want a slave you can brainwash, then fine, go play with Rob or Aubrey. I’m done being your puppet.”
“I don’t want them, I want you. It’s always been you. If you don’t want to share our bed with another, then…”
“This isn’t even about last night, this is about you playing me from the start. Why did I choose you, Carys? Can you look me in the eye and seriously tell me you didn’t compel my love?”
She met his gaze evenly, but all she said was, “Ulrik, I love you.”
“This isn’t love, it never was. This is you maintaining control, the way you always did.” Bishop lost his scowl as a revelation came to him. “It’s not even your fault. How could you know what true love is? You’ve never seen it. Love isn’t about manipulating someone into feeling for you. It’s not about forcing them to submit to doing what you want them to. It’s about wanting them to be happy.”
“Like your precious Anja,” she spat out venomously.
“Yes, I love her, and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Even if you were to will it all away and make me your puppet again, know that somewhere, deep inside, I will always love Anja. She’s everything you’re not.”
Carys reacted to his words like he’d struck her a physical blow. Her shoulders sagged as if he’d plunged a dagger between them, her voice dropping to a pathetic whimper. “Did you ever love me?”
“I don’t know,” he replied in all honestly. “I used to think I did, but now… I don’t know if you ever gave me the chance to love you of my own free will. What I feel for you now, it’s…” Bishop stopped, more moved by her tears than he wanted to be. Reaching out, he brushed his thumb against her cheek to catch them. “I see your loveliness, and I feel the power of your smile when you look my way. There’s a pull there, but it’s so tainted with dread and anger, I don’t know if I can…”
“I release you,” she whispered.
“What?”
Carys sucked in a ragged breath, her words growing stronger. “I release you from my compulsions. You’re free.”
That core of pain mingled with love he’d held in his heart unraveled and whispered away like smoke, and for once, he could see Carys with his own eyes. Carys who he’d loved a lifetime ago, Carys who’d sacrificed so much for him for her own flawed reasons, Carys who he pitied as she stood there, eyes ringed with ruined mascara. But there was no love, not anymore.
“Thank you,” Bishop whispered, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. “Thank you for giving me my life back.”
And he didn’t intend to waste one second of it.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Carter was there to meet us at the San Francisco airport, decked out in his usual jeans and a hoodie, with the addition of at least three guns that I could see strapped to various parts of his body.
“Aren’t you not supposed to bring weapons to the airport?” I asked as I got to the bottom of the short stairway. The others followed behind, dealing with getting all of our luggage deplaned and loaded up. “How did you get onto the tarmac?”
“It’s a private airfield, security’s a joke,” he scoffed, raising a finger to point. “Not that I couldn’t get through the regular TSA with a case full of explosives if I wanted to.”
I raised a brow. “Why would you want to exactly?”
“I’m just saying it’s an option,” he shrugged and I tried not to laugh.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Why the need for the heavy artillery though? I told you the Order’s not after you anymore.”
“I’m not taking any chances out in the open until I’m good and sure they’re all getting with the program. Besides, that bounty’s still in effect.”
“Nope, I took care of that on the flight home.” I’d torn into Felix something fierce for putting it up in the first place, and I was assured he’d put out the word that Carter was no longer on the shoot first ask questions later list, and he was guaranteed sanctuary under my direct command.
“You have been busy.” He sounded impressed.
“You have no idea.”
“But I’m dying to find out,” he grinned. “I’m also dying to check out my new digs. I’m getting tired of crashing at your boyfriend’s place. He doesn’t have cable or satellite or nothing.”
That brought me up short. “You’ve been staying at Bishop’s this whole time?” So much for them being buddy-buddy friends if he ever found out about it.
“Why not?” he shrugged, unconcerned. “He’s not using it.”
“Well, I have plenty of room at my place, so you’re more than welcome.”
“Great, that’s exactly what I was hoping to hear. So much so, that my stuff’s all under a tarp in your back yard. You really should get that old garage torn down, you know. It’s gonna collapse under the next high wind.”
Anyone else and I would’ve thought it was kind of weird for him to be prowling around my house, but for Carter, I took it as par for the course. If my house hadn’t been spellwarded, I imagined he’d already be set up in one of the bedrooms. There weren’t many boundaries between us after living together for weeks.
“First things first.” I brought him to where the others stood waiting by the cars. “Everybody, this is Carter. Carter, this is Maggie, Tucker, Lee, and Gunnar.”
“I already know who they are,” he pointed out. He probably knew more about them than I did, Carter was thorough that way.
“But now they get to know you too. Carter’s going to be staying with us,” I announced, and it was met with a favorable murmur.
“Nice to finally meet you,” Maggie smiled and Tucker gave him a shy wave.
Gunnar nodded stiffly, as if uncomfortable around the vampire hunter, but he was polite enough. “I am please to meet you,” he said.
“Any friend of Anja’s…” Lee held out his hand, and Carter took it after a moment’s hesitation, as if he expected it to be some kind of a trap. His eyes were wary until Lee let him go again. I could tell it was going to take some time on both sides for them to feel comfortable around each other.
“Come on, guys, let’s go back to the house and we can all get to know each other better.”
Carter hesitated, eying the car suspiciously. “You’re not gonna make us sit around and like, tell a meaningful story from our childhood or anything, are you?”
“Naw, it’ll take a lot more liquor to pry that loose from these old lips,” Lee chuckled.
“Is that all it takes?” I elbowed him with a teasing grin. “I declare the bar officially open at Chez Anja! Let’s go!”
“I like your Glock,” Gunnar offered conversationally as we climbed into the car. “It is my favorite for travel as well, but my B
eretta Pico is good for concealment.”
Carter eased as the conversation turned to one that didn’t involve feelings or showtunes. “I favor the Sig myself if I had to pick one. But yeah, the Glock is a thing of beauty.” They talked guns the whole way back to the house, with Lee weighing in every now and again about stopping power.
I didn’t pay close attention to the conversation until Carter started to tell the story of my first round of target practice and I put a stop to that pronto. Not that I cared all that much about his gentle roasting, but them thinking I did gave them something to bond over. Totally worth it.
Of course neither Tucker or Carter could enter the house without my invitation, and I made him wait out in the cold for an extra few moments while I got Tucker settled into the bedroom next to Maggie’s.
“Come on, Anja, I’m freezing my chestnuts off out here,” Carter grumbled as I came back down the stairs.
“You are not, vampires don’t get cold.”
“That’s not the point.”
“It’s entirely pointy. You’re just impatient, not uncomfortable. But before I invite you in, we have to settle some ground rules.”
His face took on a mutinous cast. “You didn’t make that wolf kid agree to any ground rules.”
“That’s because I know he wouldn’t hurt a flea. You, on the other hand…”
“What do you want me to do, Anja? Even if I don’t technically get cold doesn’t mean I like standing out here.”
I’d wanted to make sure I had his complete attention, and I had it. “If we’re going to make this work, you need to agree to a few rules, like I said.”
“What kind of rules?”
“No killing, obviously.”
Carter snorted. “Like I have a choice, I’m still under your compulsion not to. That was a real bitch while you were gone, by the way.”
“So sorry to have put a cramp into your lifestyle,” I smiled, ticking off the next one on my fingers. “Rule number two, there are five other people living here, so you can’t take over the entire living room for Call of Duty every night.”
