Catastrophe Queen

by Emma Hart

  I guess I was wearing yoga pants this morning.

  I quickly set to getting ready, stopping long enough only to pull my thick hair into a braid and do something with the mess that were my eyebrows.

  Oh, and lipstick.

  Just because you were wearing yoga pants and had wet hair didn’t mean a lick of lipstick wouldn’t make your day brighter.

  I hurried into the kitchen. “Hey, Mom, I need to get some info from the office and take it to Cameron at home. Can I borrow your car?”

  She looked up from her plate of French toast. “Don’t you want breakfast?”

  “Emergency,” I said. “Save me some?”

  Mom nodded. “My keys are in the bowl. I’m meeting Sandra and Kate at ten for coffee—will you be long?”

  “Nope. I’ll be back in less than an hour. Thanks!” I blew her a kiss and snatched her keys from the bowl, then headed out to her little Ford.

  I climbed in and made my way to the office. It was freaky being here before eight when Main Street was all but dead. Mostly because I was able to get a parking spot right in front of the building, which was weird in itself.

  I pulled up the key. Cameron’s text also detailed what information he wanted for his grandfather’s showings so I knew exactly where to find it. It didn’t take me long to get up to his office and find the folder labeled, “Grandpa.”

  Snatching it up, I headed back out, locking the door behind me, and plugged Cameron’s address into the GPS built into the dashboard. It showed a ten-minute drive, so I set the folder down on the passenger seat and pulled away.

  The drive out to Cameron’s house was pleasant and quiet. I didn’t get stuck in any traffic, and I ventured into a side of town I was relatively unfamiliar with.

  The houses were big and beautiful, stinking of money I didn’t have and never would have. The yards were perfectly trimmed and landscaped, completely beautiful and dreamy.

  Weird to describe one as dreamy, I know, but whatever.

  I pulled up on the curb in front of Cameron’s house. It was less landscaped than the others around, and I was also pleasantly surprised to see that it was a little smaller than the others around.

  I parked and pulled the keys, slipping the folder up against my stomach as I got out of the car. I locked it, although I probably didn’t need to in this neighborhood, and headed for the front door.

  Even though he said he’d left it unlocked, it didn’t feel right for me to just barge in there like it was nothing. I hesitated on the front step, staring at the dark blue front door inside of me.

  The last time I’d seen him, I’d wanted to kiss him.

  This wasn’t going to be awkward at all.

  At least I had the winning combination of lipstick and yoga pants. That was all a girl really needed to be successful in life.

  Lipstick. And yoga pants.

  I knocked three times and pushed the door open. “It’s Mallory. I have the info you wanted,” I called, hovering in the hallway. There was no answer, so I shut the door behind me and called out his name.

  Nothing.

  Hesitantly, I moved through into the rooms. I walked through a tastefully decorated living room in blue and gray, then peeked into a home office that was about as tidy as his actual office.

  Not at all, to be honest. And that was after I’d inadvertently made him tidy his desk thanks to a rogue cup of coffee and a coaster.

  I left the office before I had the urge to tidy it and moved into a sleek, black kitchen.

  Jesus, this place was every inch the bachelor pad, wasn’t it? Would I stumble upon a Christian Grey-esque red room on my way through the property?

  I took a breath and turned.

  And found Cameron.

  My boss.

  In front of the fridge.

  Wearing nothing but a white towel around his waist.

  Giving me a damn good view of his body. There were abs for days, at least fifty of them, and about ten pecs.

  Mind you, that could have been my view as I panicked about the fact my boss was basically naked in front of me.

  I shrieked, jumping back and turning around, almost tossing myself into a door as I did so. “Oh my God. I’m sorry.”

  There was a breathy chuckle from behind me. “Sorry. I didn’t know you’d be here this quickly.”

  “You told me it was an emergency,” I said to the door in front of me. “So I hurried.”

  “Yeah. Your odd socks give you away.”

  “Huh?”

  “One is neon yellow and the other is pink.”

  I looked down. “Shit.”

  Cameron laughed. “Come on. Turn around. I promise I won’t let the towel drop.”

  “I don’t—maybe that’s not a good idea.”

  “Mallory, all you have to do is turn around and give me the folder, and then you can run out of here. You’re wearing sneakers. You can do that. And probably trip over your own feet.”

  “Shut up!” I turned around to look at him and froze. He’d won.

  He was such a shit.

  Cameron grinned, leaning forward, clutching the towel at his hip. “Sorry. Drop the info on the island, and I’ll take a look before I go to his house. He’ll want to comb over them all anyway. Then you can go and take your embarrassment with you.”

  “I’m not embarrassed!” I said right as my cheeks turned a flattering shade of bright red. “I’m just shocked!”

  “Uh-huh.” Cameron took the folder from me and put it on the island. “By the way, Mallory, my face is a few inches higher. As much as I’m sure my belly button would like to hear what you have to say.”

  I swallowed hard and snapped my gaze up. It wasn’t my fault. He was standing in front of me in his kitchen looking like a fucking walking wet dream, and he was calling me out for looking at his abs? Not to mention that goddamn highway to heaven that curved over his hips and dipped down under his towel.

  “You—you shut up!” I retorted, jabbing my keys at him. “I’m going to get ready to work, and I don’t want to listen to this nonsense about me talking to your belly button!”

  “Eyes are up here.”

  “Put some damn clothes on!” I snapped, turning on my heel and walking back into through the office and the living room.

  The sound of Cameron’s laughter reached me as I got to the hall and yanked open the front door.

  “Bye!” I yelled, slamming it behind me and running down the path to my mom’s car.

  It was only when I’d securely locked myself inside the vehicle that I took a deep breath.

  I’d basically seen my boss naked. Little white towels were the things that dreams were made of, and I swear to God my dream had just fucking well come true right there and then.

  A tall, dark, handsome man, wearing nothing but a white towel with abs for days and biceps that would make a rock weep.

  Jesus.

  I banged my head against the steering wheel three times. The third time, I hit the fucking horn and made it blare out, and a front door opening made me jam the key in the ignition and make the car come to life.

  I pulled away from Cameron’s house, quickly making the journey back to my house, leaving behind the memory of my hot as hell boss.

  In theory.

  Not many red-blooded single women could let go of that idea in their head. I was both red-blooded and very, very single, so I couldn’t.

  I was so single that my vagina had pretty much sewn itself up in anticipation of never getting laid again.

  My heart thumped, and I swear I was still blushing as I pulled up on my driveway. The image of Cameron in the towel was firmly stuck in my head. My clitoris was basically crying that I’d left him there looking like a wet dream.

  How was I ever going to face him again?

  I’d have to quit my job. That was it. The only way to fix this was to quit and never see him ever, ever, ever again.

  Slightly dramatic, but I did have a flair for it.

  I sat in the car and pulled
up my phone.

  Me: What do you do when you see your hot boss in a towel?

  Jade’s response was immediate like I knew it would be.

  Jade: U share it with ur best friend. Duh.

  Me: Slightly creepy.

  Jade: Why? Did u see Cameron naked?

  Me: Took some files he wanted to his house and he was in a towel.

  Jade: Was he still wet?

  Me: Texting you was a mistake.

  I sighed and rested my head on the steering wheel again. I should have known she wouldn’t have anything constructive to say or actually help me. I was crushing on Cameron Reid big time, and now I had to look him in the eye and hope I didn’t see his abs when I did so.

  Right.

  Now every time I thought of him it wouldn’t be of him in a gray suit.

  It would be half-naked, in front of the fridge, in a towel.

  I was so screwed.

  ***

  “So he didn’t come into the office? All day?” Jade nursed her frozen margarita like it was a baby.

  I shook my head, pulling my mango one toward me. She’d realized I was in trouble for real and dragged me to our favorite Mexican restaurant to talk over the fact I fancied my boss.

  “Nope. But he did have a packed day, and he wasn’t supposed to come in this morning anyway.” I stirred my drink with the straw. “Honestly, I’m glad he didn’t come in. I don’t think I can look him in the eye ever again.”

  “It can’t be that bad.” She dipped a chip in salsa. “It’s not like you’re a virgin and you’ve never seen a man before.”

  “It’s been two years. I may as well be a virgin,” I grumbled.

  “Two years? Ouch. We need to get you laid before your vagina drags you across your office and clamps onto his penis.”

  “I don’t think that’s going to happen.” But just to be sure, I had to start wearing pants to work. “I need help to deal with this, Jade. You’re the people person in this friendship. Help me.”

  “All right, all right.” She held up her hands. “As your best friend, I’ll sleep with him instead.”

  “And people say I’m the problematic one.”

  She rolled her eyes as our food was brought over. She had quesadilla; I had nachos. “Okay, listen. There’s nothing you can do, Mal. You have to suck it up. It’s not like you saw him in secret, is it? He knows, and from what you said, he didn’t seem to be bothered by it at all.”

  “No. He was laughing at me,” I muttered, focusing on my food. “I don’t get it. Like, he didn’t care that I was there and basically looking at him naked. I wanted to die.”

  “Yeah, but you’re easily embarrassed.” Jade shrugged one shoulder. “A hairless cat would embarrass you.”

  “Funny.”

  “It’s just part of being Mallory. This stuff just happens to you. Look at all the random, embarrassing things that happen whenever you’re around.”

  As if on cue, like she’d put the challenge out to the universe, the entire restaurant quietened as a guy several tables over got down on one knee.

  “Really? A Mexican restaurant?” Jade said under her breath, gaining herself a nod of approval from the girl on the table next to ours.

  The air was thick with tension, and not because she was taking ages to answer.

  “Uh-oh,” I whispered as she got up and walked away.

  “Ouch,” Jade whispered in return.

  The guy stood up awkwardly, still holding the ring box, and after a quick look around, went after her, and the noise in the restaurant returned to normal.

  “That was not my fault,” I said quickly, dipping a chip in sour cream. “You can’t even blame that on me.”

  “No, but you’re a magnet for disaster. You know that.”

  “I know. That’s why I’ve never had a successful relationship, have to live with my parents, and every job I’ve ever had I’ve been let go from because the business has shut down.” I sighed, piling sour cream and guac onto a chip. “Not to mention all the other things that happen.”

  “Like almost getting run over by your new boss, spilling coffee over his desk, then seeing him half-naked.”

  I groaned. “At least I made it through Saturday night like an adult.”

  “Yeah, but now you’re being a baby, so it doesn’t really matter.”

  “Helpful, Jade, thanks.”

  “You’re welcome. Now, here’s what you have to do: go into work tomorrow morning, smile, say hello, and ask if he’d like a coffee. Business as usual. It’s only a big deal if you make it one.”

  “Making things a big deal is basically the only skill I have that means anything.”

  “Well, drama does go hand in hand with being a klutz.”

  “Exactly. You take that away from me and you leave me with nothing.” I grinned. “But you’re right. I know that. So I’ll go into work tomorrow and act like everything is fine and I don’t want to draw patterns on his abs with my tongue.”

  Jade lifted her margarita. “Cheers to that.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN – CAMERON

  There was nothing more awkward than your assistant knowing what you look like practically naked.

  Mallory had scared the ever-loving shit out of me. When I’d told her I needed those files quick, I hadn’t thought she’d be that damn quick. It was basically fifteen minutes from the call to her showing up at my house.

  Not to mention I’d only told her I needed them so quickly because she was, well, Mallory. I assumed she’d get delayed by running over a pigeon or something on her way over.

  I’d already decided I wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it. She likely would, so I’d be the calm one. Really, it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t like I’d been entirely naked or I’d seen her.

  If I’d seen her, all bets would have been off. There was no way I’d ever be able to scrub the image of her in a towel or her underwear off my mind.

  Hell, they were on my mind already.

  It was making work a problem because I was more focused on the brown-haired, red-lipped woman outside my office.

  I shook my head to dislodge those thoughts as I entered the building. It was already busy and bustling downstairs, with all the realtors seemingly out on a viewing or here with someone. I waved good morning to Amanda who was on the phone and headed for the stairs.

  Mallory would already be here. Hopefully, she was on the phone or something so I could just slip into my office without having to talk to her just yet.

  It was delaying the inevitable, sure, but whatever.

  I took the last stair and stepped into the room. She was sitting at her desk, typing away on the computer. She’d pulled her dark hair up into a bun on top of her head, and her always-red lips were pursed as she paused, moving one hand to the mouse and clicking.

  A white collar peeked out from the top of her navy and blue striped sweater, and I hated that the one thing I noticed about it was that it hugged her body perfectly.

  Fuck me dead.

  As if she knew I was staring, she turned to look at me. A smile broke across her face, and her eyes lit up when they landed on me.

  “Good morning!” she chirped. “Would you like a cup of coffee?”

  What was going on? I wasn’t expecting her to drool over me, but I wasn’t expecting her to be so super friendly.

  She had never been this friendly.

  “Good morning,” I said, somewhat hesitantly. “I’d love a cup.”

  “Great. Let me finish up this email, and I’ll bring one in for you.” That smile was still in place as she turned back to the computer, then paused, looking back at me. “Oh, your grandfather called. The message is on your desk.”

  “Thanks.” I hesitated as she focused on the screen once more.

  All righty, then.

  I made my way into my office, giving her one last confused glance before I shut the door behind me.

  Who was that, and what have they done with Mallory?

  I slid into my chair and pick
ed up the note she’d left on my keyboard. Grandpa wanted to take another look at one of the houses we’d seen yesterday, so I scribbled a note to remind me to call the owners and see if I could get that scheduled.

  I booted up my computer, and I’d barely had a chance to sign in when the door opened and Mallory came in, a coffee in one hand and a plate with a bag in the other.

  “I didn’t think you’d get breakfast, so I stopped by the bakery on the way here and got you something to eat,” she said, setting them both down on the desk. “And I even made your coffee with sugar.”

  I stared at her.

  Not only was she being extra friendly, but she hadn’t tripped once.

  “Thank you?” I said, blinking.

  “You’re welcome.” She bounced on the balls of her feet and clasped her hands together in front of her stomach. Another big grin stretched over her face, and she literally skipped out of my office like she was high on sugar.

  Maybe she was high on sugar. There was a bag of jelly beans on her desk. Perhaps she’d had them for breakfast, and that was the reason for this super cheerful version of her.

  I didn’t like it.

  Still, I let her go about her business outside being super cheery. She was even like that on the phone when it rang.

  She had to be having a sugar rush.

  I shook my head and dove into the paperwork I had to do. It took me forever to get through it all, and by the time I had, it was lunchtime.

  I shut down the computer and got up after checking the time. Mallory was still at her desk, and she had the phone to her ear while she nodded.

  “Absolutely. Don’t worry about that. Your appointment with Mr. Reid is booked for Wednesday at two p.m. We’ll see you then. Buh-bye.” She hung up the phone and sighed, then tapped the appointment into the calendar we shared on the computer.

  “Hey,” I said. “I’m going out to grab lunch. Do you want me to bring you anything?”

  She looked up, that same bright smile on her face. “Nope. I’m all good. I brought something with me today.”