Summer Down Under

by Pensy, Alison

  There was no choice. She had to take a leap of faith and tell him why she was so scared of letting anyone else near her battered heart. He then had one of two choices. He could either accept that she was slightly damaged. Oh, all right then, completely shattered, and try to help her, or he might decide that she was more trouble than she was worth and not want any more to do with her.

  She prayed it would not be the latter, and something in her heart told her that she could trust him.

  Swallowing hard, she took a deep breath and whispered. “Okay.”

  He turned to her, his brow furrowed. “Okay?”

  “You have asked me to trust you. So, I’ll try.”

  Daniel’s face softened at her words. Sam felt her insides melt a split second before they tied themselves in knots. Her mouth went dry. She dropped her gaze to stare at her hands, which were softly gripping the leather strips of Brolga’s reins.

  “Go on,” Daniel encouraged after Sam had fallen silent for a moment.

  His voice pulled her from her trance. Sam’s heart hammered in her chest, but this time it was from anxiety, not desire. She had never told anyone about the deep emotional pain she was holding inside. She kept telling herself if anyone could help her get over it, Daniel could.

  Tears burned behind her eyes as she remembered the hurt she went through at the hands of a man. She had given her innocent heart away once before and got it handed back to her in tatters.

  She thought she would have been able to repair it, but now realized it was still very fragile and could be broken into a thousand pieces again just as easily. Sam prayed that the man riding beside her now would protect it until it was completely mended, if that were at all possible.

  “I’ve only had one boyfriend,” she started, voice shaky. She blinked back the tears as each hurtful incident at the hands of another came flooding back in glorious Technicolor. Each time chipping away methodically at her confidence until there was nothing left. Why had she stayed with him for so long? Why had she allowed another person to have that kind of control over her? She had no answers, and that alone, made her feel ashamed of herself. That she wasn’t strong enough to protect herself. It’s everyone’s right to protect themselves against harm, verbal or physical. Why didn’t she just leave? She gave a subtle shake of her head.

  “I was young and naive. I have no idea why I stayed with him for as long as I did,” she whispered after a moment. “But, stay with him I did, and the damage was done.”

  Sam was looking out at the cattle, not wanting to meet Daniel’s intense gaze that she could now feel burning into the side of her face.

  “Go, on,” he coaxed again when she fell silent once more.

  She had only been with her ex for six months, maybe a bit more, but for Sam it felt like years. “For the time we were together, he would take every possible opportunity to call me fat and ugly. Whether it was in front of his family or his friends, he didn’t care.” Tears stung her eyes as she relived the feeling of complete humiliation she suffered in front of his friends. Remembering the stupid lengths she went to to lose weight, only to have him sneer at her when she would stand in front of him asking for his approval.

  Sam hadn’t notice them escape at first, but the tears started streaking down her cheeks and were now splashing on her saddle.

  Daniel had gone silent, but Sam didn’t dare look at him.

  “One night we were out and I had a few too many drinks, which was stupid, I know. He took me home as usual, but this time there was nobody there. Everyone was out doing something or other. He walked me in the house and then made his intentions clear. I didn’t want to, not like that, but he didn’t listen. He lost his patience and got really angry with me. I didn’t even recognize him at that point. His eyes were full of anger and hatred. He grabbed me, and dragged me to my room. I was so scared, I’ve never been so scared in all my life. I had no control, no way of stopping it.”

  Daniel closed his eyes.

  “After he’d finished, he got up to leave, but he turned around on his way out and said ‘You need to get drunk more often, that was the best sex I’ve had’. Then he left.” Sam remembered the emotions that washed over her as she lay curled up on her bed for the longest time, feeling used and dirty. Knowing the culprit should be the one to feel ashamed, but she couldn’t help feel it herself.

  “It’s one thing to be attacked by someone you don’t know, but to be attacked by someone who claims to love you is… is…” she broke off.

  Daniel looked over at Sam. His eyes mirroring the pain she felt. Her eyes glistened, as tears slid down her cheeks.

  “Did you report him?” Daniel asked.

  Sam shook her head. “Who would have believed me? We’d been together for months.” She looked over at Daniel and swallowed hard. “He stole something from me that I can never get back.”

  Daniel’s brow creased in confusion. “What did he steal?”

  Sam looked away and closed her eyes, trying to shut out the memory only to have it blaze to life under her lids. “It was my first time...” she looked back at Daniel. “My only time.”

  Daniel uttered a curse and dismounted. He stood beside Sam’s horse and held his arms up.

  “Come here, sweetheart.” He held Sam by her waist and eased her down off the saddle, then wrapped his strong arms around her like a protective blanket as she fell into his embrace.

  “I haven’t let anyone near me since. I don’t know if I’ll ever have the courage to do so again,” she sobbed into his chest.

  “Shh.” Daniel whispered, laying tender kisses on the top of her head while stroking her hair. “It’ll be okay now, I promise.”

  They stood in the middle of the pasture while Daniel let her cry.

  It seemed like time had stood still while Sam let out all the pain and hurt she had bottled up inside.

  Slowly, minute-by-minute, the tears abated and the sobbing eased. Sam realized a feeling of relief started to flow over her. It was like she had shrugged a huge weight off her shoulders. She felt lighter. Sam pulled away from Daniel’s chest and looked up into his kind eyes. His arms were still wrapped around her, not wanting to let go.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  “For what?”

  “For being there. For being you.” She smiled and looked down at his arms. “I think you can let me go now.”

  “What if I don’t want to let you go?” He smiled back, his eyes full of love.

  A moment later, he relented and released his protective hug. He took a step back, holding Sam at arm’s length and looked her up and down.

  “I happen to think you are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on, and from this moment on, that is all that matters.”

  Sam knew he was lying. She always looked like Rudolf the red nosed reindeer whenever she cried, and she had done more than her fair share of it over the past year. No more, she decided. It was time for a change.

  “Help me up?” she asked, turning towards Brolga. Daniel leaned down and wrapped his hands under her knee to give her a leg up.

  “Oh, no,” Sam said once she was securely in her saddle. She looked around the paddock to see the cattle scattered all over again. “Just how long was I buried in your chest.”

  “Long enough,” Daniel murmured. “Long enough.”

  They rounded up the cattle, yet again, and headed them in the right direction. It took another few hours before they finally arrived at their destination. The cattle were thirsty after their long journey and crowded around all four sides of the watering hole, which was at least three acres in size.

  The tired riders rode over to the gate once all the cattle were safely delivered to the paddock. Daniel closed the gate behind them and they left the cattle to their own devices. This was to be their home for the next few months and they could now wander around in the paddock to their heart’s content.

  Sam was reluctant to ride back to the house now that their job was done. She had enjoyed being on horseback alo
ngside Daniel, but it had turned out to be a very emotional day, which left her feeling drained and exhausted. A long, hot shower was just the remedy needed. Her head was starting to pound, too, as it always did after a good cry.

  After arriving at the corral, they un-tacked the horses and let them go.

  “Thanks Brolga,” Sam called as her horse cantered off, kicking her back legs in the air as she did.

  “Come on,” Daniel said, putting his arm around her shoulders. “Let’s go and get showered and have some dinner. We deserve it.”

  ***

  As the two got closer to the house, they noticed there were no lights on, which seemed odd since it was now starting to get dark. When they entered, the house was cloaked with an eerie blanket of silence.

  “Something’s wrong.” Sam said in a hushed voice, not wanting to break the silence. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but the house just felt strange.

  “You feel it, too?” Daniel whispered back.

  Sam realized a moment later what was missing. There was no noise coming from the kitchen. Mrs. Miller was always in the kitchen. It was approaching dinnertime, something must be very wrong for her to be absent.

  They wandered down the hall towards the kitchen. The silence that shrouded Daniel’s home unnerved Sam. She hadn’t heard the place be that quiet before, except in the dead of night. They entered the kitchen. Not a soul was around and no preparation had been started for dinner, either.

  “Stay here.” Daniel said, “I’ll go and see where everyone is.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Sam gawked at him. “I’m not staying here on my own. It’s spooky.”

  Daniel gave her an incredulous look, shook his head and laughed. “You really are a funny girl, you know that, right?” He ruffled her hair, which garnered him a mock-hostile glance as she tilted her head away from his hand.

  “That’s as maybe, but I’m still coming with you. I’ve watched one too many horror films to stay here by myself.”

  “They’re probably just in their room,” he said, trying to make her feel at ease, but she could sense he had an uneasy feeling about it, too.

  Sam followed Daniel back down the hall and through the formal dining room. The photos that made up the family tree seemed to follow her with their eyes sending an involuntary shudder down her spine. As the light faded outside, shadows loomed within the four walls of the dining room. She clutched Daniel’s arm. He put a reassuring hand over hers as they walked outside to the deck that led to his parent’s room. As they drew closer, they could hear voices. Sam puffed out a sigh of relief. A second later she heard Daniel do the same.

  Daniel knocked on his parent’s door. A moment later his father opened it, his expression grave.

  “What’s wrong?” Daniel asked. “Mum’s okay, isn’t she?”

  “Daniel,” Mr. Miller replied. “We’ve had some bad news. Your Aunt in Brisbane has taken ill. The doctors don’t think she has very long to live. I’m going to fly your mother over there tonight so she can be with her sister. I’m going to have to rely on you and Sam to carry on with the lamb marking until the shearers arrive in just over a week.”

  “Will you be back for shearing?” Daniel asked through panic stricken vocal chords.

  He had told Sam that shearing was a big deal. It was the climax of the year. Keeping the shearing team happy was a lot of work for the station owners, along with making sure they had everything they needed. As far as she was aware, a team of shearers would move into your home for a couple of weeks until every last sheep was shorn. The shearers needed to be fed three times a day. Not just small meals either. They would expect three cooked meals a day to give them the energy needed to shear the thousands of sheep the Millers had.

  Sam’s heart quickened and she felt her hands go clammy as the implications of what Mr. Miller was saying started to sink in. If Mrs. Miller wasn’t back by then, it would be left to her to cook for everyone. She didn’t even know how to cook for herself, let alone a pack of hungry shearers, three times a day. The only recipes she knew all started ‘take one can opener…’

  “Son, I’ll do what I can to get back here, but I’m not going to leave your mother if she needs me,” Mr. Miller said with a compassion Sam would never have guessed the crotchety man possessed.

  “Well, I promise that Sam and I will do our best.” Daniel responded reassuringly.

  The young jillaroo gave him a sidelong glance. Actually, Sam may well run for the hills and carry on with her travels, she thought derisively, as the images swirled in her head of being chased by a team of angry shearers after they had tasted the gastronomic delights she had cooked up.

  “Your mother’s packing right now. I’m afraid you’ll have to fend for yourselves for a while,” Mr. Miller said.

  “No worries, Dad,” Daniel said, trying to sound calm and in control. “We’ll be fine.” He turned to Sam. “Come on, let’s go and see what we can come up with for dinner.”

  Mr. Miller turned and closed the door with a soft click. Daniel and Sam walked back to the kitchen in mild shock. Once safely in the kitchen and out of earshot of Daniel’s parents, the meltdown Sam had somehow kept suppressed in front of Daniel’s father, came flooding out.

  “I can’t do it, Daniel!” she cried. “I can’t even cook for myself. How the hell am I supposed to cook three huge meals a day for ten hungry men?” Her voice had taken on the high-pitched squeaky tone it always did when she was in panic mode.

  “Calm down, Hun.” Daniel cooed, trying to iron out her ruffled feathers. “We’ll figure something out. They’ll probably be back by then.”

  “Yeah, and they may not be. Your mum is not going to leave her sister if she is deathly ill,” Sam pointed out disparagingly. She ran both hands through her hair, despair oozing out of every pore, then let her hands drop limply to her sides and drew in a long calming breath.

  “Oh, God. I’m going to let you down, I just know I am,” she whimpered.

  “Is that what this outburst is really all about?” Daniel asked, cupping her face in his warm hands, which sent frissons of excitement down her neck.

  “Sam,” he murmured, looking into her panic stricken eyes. “You could never let me down. Don’t you fret. Even if I have to stand next to you with an apron on and a wooden spoon in my hand, that’s what I’ll do. We’ll get through this together. Trust me.”

  “You think so?” Sam whimpered again. She admitted she could be pretty pathetic at times.

  “Yes, I think so.” He gave her a reassuring smile.

  A moment later, Daniel still had hold of Sam’s face. Sam could hear her breathing grow ragged as the look he gave her was transforming from reassurance to desire. He leaned down and laid several tender kisses along her lips. Sam’s body nearly went up in flames as his lips danced against her.

  She wanted to touch him, taste him, feel his body against hers. The control she was desperately trying to keep hold of was slipping away with each feather light touch of his lips on hers. Then it diminished completely when he softly ran his tongue over her lips, asking for permission to enter.

  The familiar feeling of fear started to creep up on her. She told herself she could trust him and fought against the feeling with every atom of her being. Sam softened her mouth allowing him entry. With the powerful feeling of intimacy that poured out of him and into her, she pushed the fear back down from where it had raised its ugly head. Not this time, she thought. Not ever again.

  Sam let a mewl of pleasure escape. She was tasting, for the first time, the man she knew without doubt she was falling in love with. Her hands found themselves tangled in his silken hair, her tongue was dancing with his, a romantic waltz in her mouth. She had not ever felt anything that profound that intimate before.

  Daniel’s hands crept around to the back of Sam’s neck sending shivers down her spine. He pulled back softly, altering the angle of her head and sucked her lower lip into his mouth, nibbling it gently for a few seconds, before letting her have it back.r />
  “Wow,” Sam breathed, passion still dancing all over her skin. “I have never in my life been kissed like that.”

  Daniel smiled the smug smile of someone who had just proved a point.

  Footsteps echoing down the corridor broke the silence and Sam quickly moved to stand beside Daniel. She prayed she didn’t have ‘just been ravaged by your son’ written all over her face as Mr. and Mrs. Miller appeared at the kitchen door. Mrs. Miller was ashen faced, and obviously distressed.

  “I’m really sorry to hear about your sister,” Sam said with as much compassion as she could muster. She hated to see people she cared about in pain, whether physical or emotional. “I hope she pulls through.”

  “Thanks, love.” Mrs. Miller gave her a weak smile, and then turned to look at her son. “Look after her,” she said poignantly.

  “I will, Mum.” Daniel walked over and gave his mum a hug and kissed her on the cheek. “Give Aunt Marge my love. I hope she recovers.”

  “We’d better be going, dear,” Mr. Miller said, ushering Mrs. Miller out of the doorway and towards the front door. “We’ll let you know what’s happening when we get there,” he called over his shoulder; then they were gone.

  A few minutes later, they heard the plane engine. The engine got louder as it sped up before taking off. Eventually, the engine noise ebbed as the plane flew off into the distance.

  “Got anything stronger than a soda in that general store of yours?” Sam asked, flopping into one of the chairs in the dining room.

  “General store?” Daniel asked, quirking his lips to one side.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I’m sure I can dig something up,” he said before wandering down the hall to the pantry that masqueraded as a general store.

  Sam folded her arms on the table and rested her head on them. She closed her eyes for a moment to see if that would do anything to dispel the horror she imaged was waiting for her just around the corner. It didn’t, but she kept her eyes closed anyway. A minute later, she heard Daniel’s footsteps walking back up the hall towards the kitchen. She lifted her head when she heard the clinking of glasses. Daniel entered the dining room carrying a bottle of vodka and a couple of shot glasses.