Murder Can Mess Up Your Masterpiece
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Praise for Rose Pressey
and her delightful HAUNTED VINTAGE mysteries
“Rose Pressey’s books are fun!”
—New York Times best-selling author Janet Evanovich
IF YOU’VE GOT IT, HAUNT IT
“A delightful protagonist, intriguing twists, and a fashionista ghost combine in a hauntingly fun tale. Definitely haute couture.”
—New York Times best-selling author Carolyn Hart
“If you’re a fan of vintage clothing and quirky ghosts, Rose Pressey’s If You’ve Got It, Haunt It will ignite your passion for fashion and pique your otherworldly interest. Wind Song, the enigmatic cat, adds another charming layer to the mystery.”
—New York Times best-selling author Denise Swanson
“If You’ve Got It, Haunt It is a stylish mystery full of vintage fashions and modern flair, with a dash of Rose Pressey’s trademark paranormal wit for that final touch of panache. Chic and quirky heroine Cookie Chanel and a supporting cast of small-town Southern characters are sure to charm lovers of high fashion and murderous hi-jinks alike.”
—New York Times and USA Today best-selling author Jennie Bentley
“Absolutely delightful! Prolific author Rose
Pressey has penned a delightful mystery full of Southern charm, vintage fashion tips, a ghostly presence, and a puzzler of a mystery. With snappy dialogue and well-drawn characters in a lovely small-town setting, this thoroughly engaging story has it all.”
—New York Times best-selling author Jenn McKinlay
“Fun, fast-paced, and fashionable, If You’ve Got It, Haunt It is the first in Rose Pressey’s appealing new mystery series featuring clever vintage-clothing expert Cookie Chanel. A charming Southern setting, an intriguing murder, a stylish ghost, a tarot-reading cat, and a truly delectable detective combine to make Ms. Pressey’s new Haunted Vintage series a sheer delight.”
—New York Times best-selling author Kate Carlisle
“Prolific mystery author Pressey launches a cozy alternative to Terri Garey’s ‘Nicki Styx’ series with an appealing protagonist who is as sweet as a Southern accent. The designer name-dropping and shopping tips from Cookie add allure for shopaholics.”
—Library Journal
IF THE HAUNTING FITS, WEAR IT
“Cookie Chanel must investigate the horse-racing community to find a killer.... After Haunted Is Always in Fashion, Pressey’s fifth amusing paranormal cozy is filled with quirky characters and fashion, along with a few ghosts. Fans of Juliet Blackwell’s ‘Witchcraft’ mysteries may enjoy the vintage clothing references. Suggest also for fans of Tonya Kappes.”
—Library Journal
“Haunted by three ghosts, a young woman searches for a jockey’s murderer at the Kentucky Derby.”
—Kirkus Reviews
HAUNT COUTURE AND GHOSTS GALORE
“It was a pleasure to read. I listened to this one, and I’m so glad I did. The novel is narrated by Tara Ochs. She does a fine job of narrating, keeping up the pace and differentiating voices well. The story moved right along. If you have a chance to listen, I recommend it with this one.”
—Jaquo.com (on the audio edition)
FASHIONS FADE, HAUNTED IS ETERNAL
“Chock full of ghosts, supernatural guardians, cats possessed by spirits, a handsome police officer boyfriend, and tips on surviving the afterlife and vintage shopping.”
—Kirkus Reviews
Books by Rose Pressey
The Haunted Vintage Mystery Series
If You’ve Got It, Haunt It
All Dressed Up and No Place to Haunt
Haunt Couture and Ghosts Galore
If the Haunting Fits, Wear It
Haunted Is Always in Fashion
A Passion for Haunted Fashion
Fashions Fade, Haunted Is Eternal
The Haunted Tour Guide Mystery Series
These Haunts Are Made for Walking
Walk on the Haunted Side
Haunt the Haunt, Walk the Walk
Walk this Way, Haunt this Way
Take a Haunted Walk with Me
Hauntin’ After Midnight
Keep on Haunting
You’ll Never Haunt Alone
The Walk That Haunts Me
The Halloween LaVeau Series
Forever Charmed
Charmed Again
Third Time’s a Charm
Charmed, I’m Sure
A Charmed Life
Charmed Ever After
Once Upon a Charmed Time
Charmed to Death
A Charmed Cauldron
Almost Charmed
MURDER CAN MESS UP YOUR MASTERPIECE
Rose Pressey
KENSINGTON BOOKS
www.kensingtonbooks.com
All copyrighted material within is Attributor Protected.
Table of Contents
Praise
Also by
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
CHAPTER 1 - Travel trailer tip 1: When hooking up a travel trailer, remember to watch out for the hitch. Your shins will thank you.
CHAPTER 2 - Travel trailer tip 2: Home is where you park it.
CHAPTER 3 - Travel trailer tip 3: Explore your campgrounds. Make note of areas of interest—such as the ice cream vendor.
CHAPTER 4 - Travel trailer tip 4: Know your exact camping location in case you need emergency help. You can’t just say “near the big tree.”
CHAPTER 5 - Travel trailer tip 5: What happens in a travel trailer stays in a travel trailer.
CHAPTER 6 - Travel trailer tip 6: When living in a travel trailer with your furry companions, remember to make a space they can call home. Adding a comfy bed and toys will make them less anxious about traveling.
CHAPTER 7 - Travel trailer tip 7: Keep extra flashlights and lanterns for times when you need to check out the things that go bump in the night.
CHAPTER 8 - Travel trailer tip 8: Remember not to leave food out so as not to attract animals. Running into a bear at breakfast is not a good way to start your day.
CHAPTER 9 - Travel trailer tip 9: Keep a fire extinguisher handy in case you know (or are) an accident-prone person.
CHAPTER 10 - Travel trailer tip 10: Have the proper tools on hand. You never know when you might have to do a repair. Never leave home without your duct tape.
CHAPTER 11 - Travel trailer tip 11: Make the space like home by adding things like cozy lights, pictures, and quilts. If you feel cramped, put up a poster of a window into a beautiful scene. A pretend window is better than no window at all.
CHAPTER 12 - Travel trailer tip 12: Prep meals at home before you set out in your trailer. It’ll save time and require less cleanup. Plus, you’ll be less likely to feel the urge to indulge in kettle corn.
CHAPTER 13 - Travel trailer tip 13: Pack a first aid kit. Life inside a trailer can be hazardous. So can life outside a trailer.
CHAPTER 14 - Travel trailer tip 14: Keep your belongings locked away securely. Better yet, leave them at home.
CHAPTER 15 - Travel trailer tip 15: Don’t forget to be adventurous sometimes.
CHAPTER 16 - Travel trailer tip 16: Don’t neglect your friends and family while living in your travel trailer. You may not have room for the whole gang—but you can still stay in touch.
CHAPTER 17 - Travel trailer tip 17: Learn to deal with the fact that your travel trailer won’t have all the conveniences you want. Simplicity can be a great cure for stress.
CHAPTER 18 - Travel trailer tip 18: Remember, your dog still needs a walk even if it’s scary out there.
CHAPTER 19 - Travel trailer tip 19: Try to avoid walking too close to
other people’s travel trailers.
CHAPTER 20 - Travel trailer tip 20: To sleep better, choose a quiet space to park your trailer. Being next to the snack bar may be great during the day, but not so much at night.
CHAPTER 21 - Travel trailer tip 21: Make sure to secure everything inside the trailer in case you need to make a quick getaway.
CHAPTER 22 - Travel trailer tip 22: Sometimes you need all hands on deck.
CHAPTER 23 - Travel trailer tip 23: Making a checklist might help. Just don’t misplace the list.
CHAPTER 24 - Travel trailer tip 24: Always lock your door. Check it. Then check it again.
CHAPTER 25 - Travel trailer tip 25: Secure your doors and windows, and close the shade when you’re away. Don’t forget where you put the keys.
CHAPTER 26 - Travel trailer tip 26: Befriend your neighbors, even the ones who aren’t so nice. You’ll enjoy the nice ones. And you’ll be able to keep an eye on the others.
CHAPTER 27 - Travel tip number 27: Sometimes it takes a bit to get the hang of things.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Teaser chapter
About the Author
KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by
Kensington Publishing Corp.
119 West 40th Street
New York, NY 10018
Copyright © 2019 by Rose Pressey
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
To the extent that the image or images on the cover of this book depict a person or persons, such person or persons are merely models, and are not intended to portray any character or characters featured in the book.
If you purchased this book without a cover you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the Publisher and neither the Author nor the Publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.”
Kensington and the K logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.
ISBN: 978-1-4967-2161-7
ISBN-13: 978-1-4967-2162-4 (ebook)
ISBN-10: 1-4967-2162-4 (ebook)
To my son, the kindest, most wonderful person
I’ve ever known.
He motivates me every day.
He’s the love of my life.
CHAPTER 1
Travel trailer tip 1: When hooking up a travel trailer, remember to watch out for the hitch. Your shins will thank you.
With a pitch-black sky full of twinkling stars and a warm summer breeze caressing my skin, I stood in front of my fabulous pink-and-white Shasta trailer. I surveyed the scene as my family helped me prepare for the upcoming festival. Tomorrow was the start of the four-day annual Summer Arts and Craft Fair in my hometown of Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Selling my art was my full-time job now, so I had to make the next few days a success.
The event was being held at the county fairgrounds. Nestled in the middle of a wooded area was an open space that was the perfect location for all kinds of events held year-round, such as the harvest festival in the fall, the Old Timey Christmas Festival, the Spring Tulip Festival, and many other events all summer.
My vendor spot was number forty-one. My adorable little travel trailer would be my home away from home now. I planned on spending a lot of time in it as I traveled the country, bringing my art to each and every state. It would be a fun adventure. At least that was what I reminded myself. I wouldn’t be alone in the trailer. My furry companion, a perky white Chihuahua, was always by my side. One of his oversize ears flopped down, and that was how he’d gotten the name Van Gogh.
Currently, my family was on site helping me with my trailer. Mostly they wanted to snoop to see what this new endeavor was all about. My father ran a small engine repair shop right next to my parents’ house. He was also a genius at fixing up classic cars—Corvettes, Camaros, GTOs. My mother had the full-time job of keeping my father and brothers out of trouble. Everyone said I looked a lot like my mother, with dark hair and big brown eyes the shade of a scrumptious piece of Godiva chocolate. My two brothers, Stevie and Hank, worked with my father in the shop. The three of them bickered all the time. Oddly, I knew that was their way of showing affection to one another.
Stevie and Hank had been “helping” me since my earliest memory. Like the time they helped repair my tricycle by taking it apart. Every single piece was set out on the front lawn like a jigsaw puzzle. They’d acted as if it was an innocent gesture of kindness. Or when I was in high school and they helped my date for the senior prom by taking him for a ride before the big night. My date was terrified to come anywhere near my house after that. They were my big brothers, though, and I loved them.
“We’re going to make this the best-looking booth in the craft fair,” my mother said with a wave of her hand.
My father mumbled under his breath as he tried to untangle the string lights that were meant to hang along the front of my trailer. My mother had volunteered my father for the job. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help, it was just that he always had the best intentions but something disastrous happened.
“Look, the lights are tiny little campers just like yours.” My mother pointed. “I ordered them from Amazon.”
“They’re great, Mom, but we’d better help Papa before he trips over the lights and kills himself.”
I had the rest of the evening to set up for the craft fair. It had seemed like plenty of time at first, but now I was realizing the sun had set quite some time ago and the clock was ticking. I had to make sure I had all my paintings, blank canvases, and paint for when inspiration came, not to mention I needed to make sure I had everything planned for the setup. If customers couldn’t see my paintings, they surely wouldn’t buy them.
“I love that you got some of your art framed.” My mother touched one of the gold frames.
“I thought it was nice to make some available already framed and some without, in case customers want to pick out their own frames.”
“That’s good thinking. Isn’t our daughter smart?” My mother turned her attention back to my father.
My father mumbled something unintelligible again as he attempted to get the lights untangled from around his neck.
“I told you he’d hang himself.” I ran over to him. “How did you do that, Papa?”
My mother and I spun my dad around so that the lights would come undone from around his neck.
“Can you breathe okay?” I fanned him.
He waved his hand. “I’m fine. Don’t fuss.”
My mother rolled her eyes. “He’d say he was fine even if he was blue-faced and passed out on the ground.”
“Hey, is this thing supposed to be locked?” Stevie yelled out.
Just then, the back of the trailer tipped, making one side shoot up in the air like a seesaw.
“What have you done?” I shouted.
Hank ran over to help Stevie. “That’s not how you do it. Let me show you how it’s done.”
As Hank raced toward the trailer like a bull charging toward the matador’s red cape, he tripped over his own feet and landed face-first in the mud.
“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” my mother said.
Stevie laughed. “Thanks for the help, bro.”
“Let me show you all how it’s done.” I gestured for everyone to step out of the way.
“Be careful, honey,” my mother called out.
The guy who’d sold me the trailer had showed me all about it. Sure, I wasn’t an expert, but I couldn’t be any worse at this than my brothers.
As I worked on the hitch, my mother yelled at my father, “Be careful on that ladder.”
Oh no. He had the ladder. This wouldn’t end well. Would the rest of the evening be spent in the emergency room? Once I secured the hitch, I hurried over to my father’s side. I held the ladder as he teetered on the edge of the top rung. The roll of tape slipped from his hands, landing on the ground. As soon as I let go of the ladder to pick up the
tape, the ladder swayed and my father tumbled to the ground.
“I knew that would happen,” my mother said.
While I helped my father to his feet, Van snatched the roll of tape and darted toward the nearby giant oak tree.
“Van, come back with the tape.” I chased after my four-legged companion.
Of course, he thought this was a game and was determined to win. My brothers yelled for Van to stop as they ran behind me. After a couple of minutes of playing chase-the-Chihuahua around the old oak tree, I scooped up Van with the roll of tape still dangling from his mouth.
I handed the tape back to my father. “Are you okay, Papa?”
“I’ve had worse falls than that,” he said.
Unfortunately, that was true.
“Do you think you should climb back on that ladder?” I asked as he walked away.
“There’s no talking to him. He won’t listen,” my mother said.
We watched as my father climbed back onto the ladder with my brothers supervising. Stevie and Hank bickered back and forth about who would hold the ladder.
“I’ve never seen such chaos,” a female voice said from over my shoulder.
I spun around to find my best friend, Sammie, standing behind me. Samantha Sutton, or Sammie as everyone affectionately called her, and I had been friends since first grade. Of course, to be friends for that long we had a lot in common. We both liked eighties music, lounging by the pool in the summer, and bargain shopping. As for appearance, we were complete opposites. Sammie was tall, with long legs, and I was short. She had blond hair cut into a bouncy bob and I had long, dark hair.