Deliciously Damaged

by Winters, KB

  My mind reeled for a moment, unsure where to begin, but then it locked into focus and I sat up a little straighter in my chair. “I’m not sure what you heard, or think. I know everyone around here has been gossiping about me and talking behind my back since the moment I got here. This has nothing to do with Mr. Brighton and everything to do with the fact that I don’t fit in here. I’m not from the posh, silver spoon, champagne-brunch crowd like everyone else here. I understand that. I came to do the job I was hired to do and was immediately placed with Mr. Brighton—who was the subject of some pretty juicy water cooler gossip way before I even got here. So it was easy to come up with stuff. They want to talk about me and throw me under the bus. I’m different and they don’t like different.”

  I paused to take a breath, adrenaline pulsing through me. I had never talked to anyone else in authority like this before. I had always thought about it, and wanted to, but had never given myself permission to be so bold outside of my own head. It was scary as hell, but I figured it was a last ditch effort. I was most likely fired anyway, so what did I really have to lose?

  “The funny thing is that I remember signing my paperwork and I believe there was a whole chapter on celebrating diversity in the workplace and how your firm is equal opportunity, and you value everyone for their individual strengths. I wouldn’t want you to get tangled up in a nasty court battle about discrimination in the workplace.”

  Rita’s expression remained frozen except for the tiniest twitch of her eyebrow at my accusation. If she hadn’t had so much Botox pumped into her forehead, it might have been a full on flinch.

  I decided it was mission accomplished and relaxed into my chair, smiling my sweetest smile in her direction.

  “I’m sorry to hear you feel you have been…discriminated…against during your brief time here. Naturally, we do our best to find a place for everyone and make them feel welcome. However, I feel we are getting away from the real issue at hand, and that is your relationship with Mr. Brighton.”

  Shit. That was a short lived victory. I thought for sure I had thrown her off my tracks.

  “Let me assure you, there is no relationship with Mr. Brighton. And now that I’m no longer managing his account, I doubt we’ll have any more communication or even see each other.”

  The words left my mouth and I felt my heart twist in my chest. I took in a silent, steadying breath and continued, “I apologize if there has been any scandal on my behalf. Trust me that was never my intention. All I want to do is go back to the job I was hired to do and that is working with the tech department. I’ve been reviewing the training materials from Bryce and I know I can do this job. Please, just give me a chance.”

  Oh good, the groveling has begun. As much as it pained me to kiss up to Rita, I knew it was necessary. I needed this job and I couldn’t risk it any further by running my mouth. She wasn’t buying it, so it was time to move on to plan B.

  Rita considered me for a moment. She looked ready to speak again when her phone beeped, signaling an intercom message. She snatched up the receiver and gave a gruff, “What is it?”

  She was silent as she listened, but my stomach dropped when her lips curled into a devilish smile.

  “Well, it’s your lucky day, Allison. Your corroborating witness just arrived,” she said, setting the phone back down.

  “What, uh, what do you mean?” I stammered.

  “Mr. Brighton is here.”

  Chapter Ten

  My heart had kicked into hyper-drive by the time Cooper was ushered into the room by Rita’s main assistant. He walked into the room, shoulders squared, and his face masked, unreadable.

  “Mr. Brighton. Please have a seat,” Rita said, rising from her seat to greet him.

  He sat down in the chair next to mine but didn’t turn to look my way or make any move to acknowledge my presence.

  Rita sat back down again. “How can I be of assistance, Mr. Brighton?”

  I kept my eyes forward, staring at the floor in front of me, trying to get my emotional roller-coaster to put on the brakes. My heart was racing, my face was flushed, and I felt like throwing up and crying all at once.

  “I came to clear up some confusion in regards to Miss Rand and me. I find that when I allow others to speak for me, things get blurry, so I prefer to handle these matters personally, face to face, when possible.”

  The sound of his voice was more than I could handle, my mind flooded with images of him…all of him…with all of me. I felt my cheeks growing even hotter so I brushed my hair forward to act as a bit of a curtain between me and Cooper. The last thing I needed was for him to know how absolutely insane he was making me, just by sitting two feet away.

  “I’m so sorry you had to come all the way down here, Mr. Brighton. This all seems very childish, but there have been some rumors running rampant and I am working with Allison here, to try and clear everything up so we can all get back on task.” Rita was very clearly struggling to remain diplomatic and professional in handling such a delicate matter. Her struggle would normally have entertained me—but in the moment I couldn’t so much as crack a smile at her efforts.

  “Let’s be honest with one another, Rita. We have, we’ve known each other for a very long time,” Cooper interrupted. “You seriously want to know if Miss Rand and I are having anything other than a working relationship. Is that correct?”

  Rita hesitated, as if trying to remember if there were any other accusations being thrown at me, but then she nodded.

  “I have to admit. Miss Rand is a stunning woman. However, I can assure you that there is nothing to these rumors. And to take it one step further, I must add that to have these accusations even reach me is unsettling. I‘ve been with your firm for quite a number of years. I have worked with a lot of your staff and there has never been so much as a whisper of impropriety before.

  “Miss Rand was a great asset to me in getting my ad campaign back on track. However, now that the project is done, I see no reason that we would need to work together going forward,” he said, echoing my statement to Rita not minutes before. But hearing the words come out of his mouth stung even more than when I’d said it.

  “Understood. I am so very sorry that any of this was even brought up and I trust it won’t affect our future ventures together,” Rita said, doing her best to schmooze her way back into Cooper’s wallet.

  “Of course not. Now, with that out of the way, I do have another meeting.”

  “Of course.” Rita stood at the same time as Cooper and I felt awkward sitting so I stood too. I was also thinking it might be my best chance to escape. I didn’t have anything left to say Rita and I desperately needed a breath of fresh air, mostly to escape the heavenly scent of Cooper’s cologne that was stirring up memories and wet sensations I didn’t want to have to deal with. Not now anyway, I was still at work.

  He shook Rita’s hand and then turned to me and our eyes met for the first time since I’d run out of his office. A jolt of heat flashed through my body and I locked my knees to keep from wavering in my heels. I wanted…needed…to send him the message that I was in no way affected by his presence, his voice, his smell, or the way his eyes darkened when he looked at me. Like right now.

  Mercy.

  “Goodbye, Miss Rand. I hope you find a long and successful future here.”

  “Thank you. I wish you the best, as well.”

  He nodded and then turned to leave, my heart twisting with each, endless second that clicked by.

  When he was gone and I was left with Rita, my emotions turned to—rage that I knew I had to control. “Satisfied?” I asked, staring her down.

  “We’re done here, if that’s what you are asking.” She sat back down without another word and started to dig through a pile of papers on her desk. “Goodbye.”

  I flung the door open and stalked out, stopping by my desk for a moment to change into my walking shoes and then I headed out. I hadn’t taken a lunch hour because my stomach had been in knots and food hadn’t
sounded good at all, but now I needed the break. I needed to get out and away from all of this and a quick walk around the complex would help clear my head.

  I hoped.

  I started off fast, pounding out my frustration on the pavement underneath my feet.

  “This. Is. Stupid.”

  All of my problems related to this job. And what is it anyway? I hadn’t done one line of code, reset one password, or set up any website since I got here. Catering to spoiled, rich dudes and putting up with diva, jealous bitches wasn’t my idea of a good time. In fact, I went out of my way to avoid people like that in my life. So what on earth was I doing, working here? Why is this my whole livelihood? Yes, I have a crazy amount of debt, mostly due to my dirt bag ex who racked up my credit cards as a parting gift when he left me for some skanky chick he found on the internet. But I could find a job somewhere else. It wouldn’t be that hard. At least that way I could ensure I wouldn’t have to see Cooper ever again.

  Cooper. Fuck.

  I shook my head and sped up my pace.

  I probably should hire a shrink to get inside my head, untangle some wires, and figure out exactly what it is that had me so messed up with that man. Was I just lonely? It had been about six months since my ex did his disappearing act. But I had my friends, my family, Sam, my fluffy little fur baby. No, it wasn’t loneliness. Besides, if I just needed a man, I could find one with no problem. Any given Saturday night, I would be propositioned by at least a dozen guys who figured that once a girl like me got a few drinks in her she would be giving it away. They were always disappointed to find that tattoos, leather, and booze don’t equal an easy score—at least, not in my books.

  So what was it? What was his spell on me?

  I sighed and stopped to take a rest at a bench. I plopped down and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees to catch my breath.

  My heart rate had just returned to normal when I heard a voice that made it skyrocket again. “Allison?”

  A hysterical laugh escaped from me as I turned to look up at Cooper, standing a few feet away on the walking trail. “Of course.”

  “Can I talk to you?”

  “I don’t know what on earth about. You made it pretty clear in there,” I gestured back to the silhouette of the office building, “exactly how you feel about me.”

  He let out a frustrated sigh. “I can explain. May I sit down?” He looked at the seat next to me and I laughed again, this cordial politeness seemed insane all things considered, but I nodded permission and he sat down.

  “Talk,” I said, scooting my leg away so it wasn’t in danger of touching his.

  “I’m sorry it took me so long to deal with this. Things got out of hand the other day, at my office.” He paused and did an awkward cough as if clearing his throat. “Anyway, I know you told me things were getting out of control with the gossip here, but I figured it would die down. Then Brittany called me and told me some of the things that were being said and finding their way back to Rita.”

  “Brittany? Like Rita’s assistant Brittany?” I asked, remembering the girl who had taken me to Rita the day I met Cooper. It seemed like such a long time ago.

  “Yes,” he confirmed.

  “Why would she call you about something like that?” I struggled to put the pieces together as he explained.

  “We used to…to talk.”

  “Aha, so I’m not your first conquest here in paradise.” I rolled my eyes.

  He groaned. “You think that’s funny?”

  “Fine, continue your story.” I crossed my arms across my chest and stared straight ahead at the grassy patch ahead of me.

  “This isn’t a story. Allison, I’m trying to apologize here. Forgive me?”

  I could feel his eyes on me, but didn’t dare turn to meet them. Vulnerability wasn’t an option. This whole thing needed to be over. Now.

  “Forgiven. No hard feelings. I got what I needed, and so did you,” I said, standing up from the bench. “Thanks for everything, Mr. Brighton. I learned a lot.”

  I shifted my gaze to him for a moment and he looked like I had just landed a sucker punch to his gut. A twinge of pity coursed through me but I spun on my heel and started to walk back down the path.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  I stopped walking.

  Before I could even throw back a retort, his hands were on me. He firmly placed a hand on each of my arms and pulled me around to face him. One hand went to my cheek and tilted my face up to look at him. His brown eyes were dark with a brooding mix of anger but there was something else there—a concern I hadn’t seen before.

  “I’m fine,” I insisted. “And please stop. I almost got fired because of you.”

  “Bullshit. You’re not fine. Bryce almost fired you? For what?”

  A momentary debate raged into my head. The truth versus a lie. Confession versus a wall. “Nothing. Just let me go.”

  “Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

  “What do you want me to say? Why do you act like you even care?” My face warmed and I felt my throat tighten, my eyes threatening to spill hot, angry tears.

  His eyes changed again. The lines at the edges softened and the anger faded. “What makes you think that I don’t care?”

  “I can’t believe I have to spell it out to you like this, but fine,” I started, pulling my face away, out of his grasp. “Face it, we haven’t got along with each other since we met. I don’t know what you see in me. What happened the other day in your office—? That isn’t enough to build a relationship on. And even if it were, you never even tried to contact me afterwards. What the hell was I supposed to think? That you suddenly lost my number? Or maybe you were trying to follow the “bro code” and play it cool for a few days? Maybe you didn’t like what you saw, and decided to go back to banging Barbie dolls. I don’t know, all I know is we fuck, you drop off the radar, until today where you waltz into my boss’s office and treat me like I have some giant scarlet A on my chest.”

  I stopped myself and waited for his reply, my eyes desperately searching his for the answers.

  “Am I really that big of a jackass?” he asked.

  His reply caught me off guard and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Apparently.”

  “I’m so glad you have such a high opinion of me. At least you’re honest.”

  “That’s my whole point, though! We don’t know each other. At all.”

  “So get to know me. Go out to dinner with me. Nothing has to happen afterwards, no expectations, no strings.”

  “Cooper, all we have is strings. This whole thing is a big rat’s nest of trouble. Tangled and getting more complicated every time we interact. I’m risking my job even just standing here, talking to you right now. Don’t you get it?”

  “Fuck them. You don’t want to be like them anyway. You could do better.”

  I huffed, astounded by his obliviousness. “You don’t get it. Not even one little bit. I’m not like you, Cooper. I don’t have a huge trust fund to fall back on if things go to shit. I am up to my eyes in debt and I have to work. People like me, we don’t have choices. If our job sucks, tough shit, you wake up and go anyways because if you don’t, your whole fucking life unravels.”

  He dropped his gaze, as if embarrassed by my honesty. I mentally kicked myself for being so open book. It wasn’t like me to go on and on like that. What is it about this man that made me lose all control? Verbally and otherwise…

  “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to simplify things. I could give you a job. A really good job.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m not that desperate yet. I have no interest in being your full time sex toy.”

  He groaned. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. Why do you always do that? Why do you always have to paint me to be such a fucking dick?”

  Now it was my turn to advert my eyes. He had a point. I was so convinced that I was just setting myself up for a fall that I wasn’t giving him a chance to prove me wrong.

&
nbsp; “Fine, whatever. Legit job or not, I’m not interested.” I paused, wondering whether or not I should go on. “You still haven’t answered why you disappeared like that.”

  “I wish I could. I want to give you a list of good reasons. I want to explain everything to you, but all I can really say is that I was busy and that my absence couldn’t be helped.”

  In the history of bad answers to the “why didn’t you call” question—that women have been asking men since the invention of phones—that had to be the worst. The disappointment stung, but I didn’t bother digging for more information. It was over.

  “It’s fine. Like I said, I just really need to focus on my job and getting things back on track here. The ads are done, so let’s just both move on. Anyway, I appreciate you stopping by and clearing everything up,” I said.

  I turned and started walking and this time he didn’t try to stop me. Even though deep down inside, I probably wanted him to.

  Chapter Eleven

  I would have given anything to avoid going back into the building, but once I stomped away from Cooper, I realized I had nowhere else to go but back up to my desk. I stood in the shadow of the hulking building and took one last breath of fresh air before pulling open the glass door and going inside. My heart was begging me to turn around and see if I could watch him one last time. I knew he would have to pass by to get back to the parking lot. But my brain talked me out of it, knowing I was already a flight risk and could easily convince myself to fly out to him and go wherever he wanted to take me. Telling him off like that had worn down my defenses. If he had pushed one more time, said one nice thing, apologized again, I probably would have melted completely.

  I took in a deep, steadying breath before heading back to the fifth floor.