I am Yours (An Alpha Male BDSM Romance)

by Linnea May

  Steph shrugged. “I don’t know. But apparently we’ll get some extra fine drinks for this event. I’m not going to complain. ”

  “It’s going to be trilingual then?” I asked. “Well, that won’t be annoying at all…”

  Steph laughed. “I know right? I have no idea what they’re thinking. But we definitely need the speeches in English.”

  I sighed. “Well, as long as I won’t have to read it.”

  She cast me a mischievous smile. “Don’t be too sure of that. A lot of things can still go wrong.”

  And they probably would. Government agencies were full of ludicrous bureaucracy and mishaps that could cause even a straight-forward event such as a spring reception to become an incredibly complicated affair.

  I noticed my messenger blinking for attention. Of course it was him.

  “Good morning beautiful,” he wrote. “How are you feeling?”

  I smiled as the memory of last night took ahold of my thoughts. I wished I could be back in that hotel room with him, instead of having to occupy myself with tedious translation work all day. My nipples were sore as hell, quietly wailing with pain as they were pushed against my bra. I loved it.

  “Good. Better now.” I said. “You?”

  I scanned the documents I had work on while I waited for a reply from him. It wasn’t too bad actually. Nothing too complicated, and shorter than I had expected.

  “I am always great after a night with you,” he charmed. “Why do you say ‘better’? Better than when?”

  I rolled my eyes at myself. Why couldn’t I just have said “good” or “great” and leave it at that?

  “It’s nothing, just work stuff,” I wrote.

  “Sorry to hear that.”

  I knew he didn’t want to be bothered with my real life stress, so I closed the window in an attempt to get back to work. Our chats had been the most intense during that first week before our first meeting.

  After that, they had steadily decreased to simple morning greetings, wishing each other a good day and arranging our next meeting. I still knew hardly anything about him and he hardly knew anything about me. But we were drawn together like magnets when it came to sex. No one had ever made me sob with cathartic relieve the way he had.

  I kind of liked the mystery that surrounded him; it just added to the attraction. But I caught myself thinking about him more and more. Most times it was all about sex, reminiscing about the sex we had had, or daydreaming about things I would eventually like to try with him.

  But lately I had also wondered about other things. What kind of life he was leading when we weren’t playing, what food he liked, what movies he watched, if any. What kind of music he liked to listen to. I knew he listened to it a lot, because he was wearing earbuds every time we met. But he always put them away as soon as he saw me.

  I closed the messenger window. No more distractions. I had to get busy and be done with it soon enough to be able to finish work on time. After all, I had a dinner date tonight. Sadly, not with him.

  4

  I finished the translation just in time and rushed home, quickly changed into something less formal and left home within less than ten minutes, heading to Kabukicho.

  My friend Catrina, a tall, blond Canadian, was waiting for me at the same spot where the wolf I and usually met up. Even here in Tokyo, where foreigners were not that uncommon, she drew a lot of attention. Several people were casting curious looks in her direction when they passed us. I couldn’t blame them. She definitely stood out.

  “How long has it been?” she asked, when we sat down at a randomly picked restaurant that sold monjayaki, a pan-fried batter that was served on a griddle embedded on the table.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “Five years?”

  She cocked her eyebrows. “Yeah, around that.”

  A cheery waitress showed up at our table and took our order. Finally another ginger highball for me. It had been too long.

  “Congrats on that awesome job,” Catrina said, after the waitress had disappeared. “How long will you be here?”

  “The contract is for three years. For now.”

  “Wow,” she said, raising her eyebrows once again. “So, what about Leif? He came with you?”

  That was when it struck me how little we had actually talked since the last time Catrina and I had seen each other. Even when we found out that we were both in Tokyo at the same time, we hadn’t really exchanged any life updates, but just agreed to meet.

  Our drinks arrived before I had a chance to reply. We clinked glasses and I took a healthy sip of my blessed ginger highball before I replied. “We broke up a few months ago.”

  “Oh,” she said, making that pitying face I had come to hate so much.

  “It’s okay,” I assured her. “It was mutual. We’re good. I am good.”

  Great, actually. But she didn’t have to know that.

  It turned out that I had unwillingly given her a clue already. She put on a mischievous smile, appearing as if she knew something. I looked at her, bewildered and suspicious.

  “What is it?”I finally dared to ask.

  She grinned. “So, I assume that’s not a hickey then?”

  I immediately blushed and jumped back in my seat, instinctively touching my neck. There had been nothing there when I had checked myself in the mirror this morning. What could she be talking about?

  “What? Where?” I stuttered.

  She laughed triumphantly and pointed to the area around her own collarbone, slightly down of the neck toward the shoulder.

  “Right there,” she said. “It looks like bite marks. Or did you ‘hit yourself?’”

  She emphasized the “hit yourself” in a way that proved she wouldn’t believe it, even if I tried to go with that lie.

  I remembered now and found the mark she was talking about above my collarbone. It hurt when I touched it. It was showing now because I was wearing an off-the-shoulder top. I was relieved to realize that the blouse I had been wearing all day at work must’ve have covered it completely. I hoped. I knew Steph—or anybody else—probably would not have been so blunt to point it out, but I didn’t want to spark even the most remote ideas in their heads.

  “Oh that,” I said, sounding just as embarrassed as I was. I took another sip of my highball and tried to sound nonchalant when I continued speaking. “It’s nothing really. Just a guy I have been seeing.”

  Catrina smiled conspiratorially. “Mind telling me a little about him? Seems to be…intense.”

  “Nah, just a fling,” I said, trying to dodge her interest.

  “A fling, huh?” Catrina teased. “I never would’ve thought you to be into these kind of things.”

  I looked up at her, alarmed. “These kind of things? What do you mean?”

  “You know. Anything not serious. Back then you were the only one of us with this super serious longterm relationship. I thought you’d be married to Leif by now. Have children and all that.”

  I frowned at her.

  “Not that there’s anything wrong with not doing that,” she assured. “I’m just surprised.”

  “Okay,” I said, not knowing how else to reply. I was actually relieved. It was a lot better to be seen as a tame, super cautious and serious person than to have people think of you as a player. Or a submissive pet who loved to serve and be pleasured by her handsome Master. I blushed at the thought of him.

  “I actually like it,” Catrina said, winking at me. “It’s healthy to have some fun. And we’re still too young to be married anyway.”

  I nodded. Trying to diverge the attention from my sex life, I asked, “How about you?”

  But she just shrugged. “Nope. Nothing.”

  Now I was the one making a sympathetic face.

  “That’s why I am so interested to hear your story, girl!” she added enthusiastically. “Tell me about him!”

  I just looked at her with a blank expression and had no idea what to tell her. After all, I really didn’t know much about h
im.

  “He’s American,” I started. “And… very tall, handsome.”

  “Nice guy?” she asked.

  I couldn’t withhold a little laugh at this question. Was he nice? Certainly not in the conventional way.

  “In his way, yes.”

  Again, Catrina had this mischievous smile on her face. She had always been interested in gossip and dating stories, and I had never been the one to provide them when we were attending college together.

  “I can tell you like him,” she announced. “You’re blushing like a school girl!”

  I giggled stupidly, as if I was willingly trying to prove her point.

  “Are you sure it’s not a little bit more serious than you led on?” she pressed.

  I shook my head. “No, definitely not. He’s not my boyfriend or anything like that.”

  “Well, what is he then?” she wanted to know.

  My Master, I thought.

  “Just a play partner,” I said.

  5

  Seasons and seasonal festivals were a great thing in Japan. And the cherry blossom season, usually around early April, was certainly one of the most beautiful, but also the craziest.

  Weather reports kept everybody updated on the current state of the blossoms, informing us when they would reach the peak of their beauty. Companies had picnics with their employees, often booking reservations in parks below cherry blossom trees months ahead and then hoping their date would correspond with the peak of the blossoms.

  Starbucks had its own cherry blossom creation, as did every other place that sold drinks and food. The school year and the fiscal year started on April first. The pale pink trees lined almost every river, several streets, and were congregated in every park—symbolizing the start of something new as well as the ephemerality of beauty and life itself. Even the giant metropolis of Tokyo appeared to be painted pink for a few days of the year.

  I had witnessed this unique season a few times before and loved it as much as almost every other person who was lucky enough to see it. But this year was the first time I was too busy to truly worship it.

  Instead of gazing at the blossoming trees and awaiting the cherry blossoms to reach their full beauty, I was insanely busy with organizing our spring reception that had not only grown out of proportion, but also produced a number of complications and problems on short notice.

  My chats and meetings with the wolf diminished drastically. I hadn’t seen him since our intense play with the Hitachi almost two weeks ago and frankly, I started to miss him. Even though she had misinterpreted my facial reactions a little, Catrina might have had a point when she said that I “really” liked him. I wasn’t ready to admit it, though. After all, how could I seriously fall for someone I knew nothing about? Who knew what kind of person he was when he was not playing my Master? It was play after all, just a game. A fun little fantasy.

  A fantasy that I dearly missed living.

  We hadn’t been able to meet, because he seemed to be equally busy, though I had no idea with what.

  It bugged me how much I missed him. Imagine my face when I found out that it appeared he felt the same way.

  It was a Tuesday, three days before the spring reception, when I got a different morning message from what I was used to.

  “I must see you again, soon,” he wrote. “As soon as possible.”

  “I agree,” I replied, already on my way to work. “But this week will be tough. Next is better.”

  The only window of free time I would have before the spring reception was on the day of the event itself, because Steph and I had been promised a half day off to gather some strength before the reception we had been working so much overtime for.

  “Are you sure?” he asked. “Even a quick coffee would be appreciated, my pet.”

  I didn’t reply instantly, but thought it wiser to think twice before I’d ask if he was free on Friday afternoon, the day of the reception. There was nothing else I had planned for my midday free time, except napping, if I felt the need. Seeing him could be a lot more fun.

  “Friday?” I asked.

  His reply came instantly. “I can’t do Friday evening.”

  “Me neither,” I clarified. “But I can do coffee right after lunch. Early afternoon.”

  “Let me get back to you,” he wrote in a businesslike manner.

  And he did a few hours later, luckily just after Steph and I had reconfirmed that Friday would only be a work day during morning for the both of us. We had just returned to our office and Steph was rejoicing over the fact that she would be able to go shopping for jewelry that would match the dress she planned to wear that night, when I saw his message.

  “Friday works.”

  6

  We met at the same place, but it was the first time I saw him during daylight and in casual clothes. He had always worn a suit or a rather fancy shirt with suit pants for our evening meetups. And a tie. Today he was wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans—looking no less handsome, but younger. I felt awkwardly overdressed next to him, as I was still in my office outfit, wearing a light blouse and dress pants.

  As always, he greeted me with a greedy kiss, grabbing my hair at the back of my head and tilting my head back while pulling my body as close to him as possible. My heart was racing within seconds and I doubted that we would actually settle for “just coffee” this afternoon.

  “God I missed you,” he whispered, releasing my lips, but not my body. I looked up at him and smiled. His hair was undone, messier than usual. Everything about him screamed sex to me. It obviously didn’t matter what he was wearing to have that effect.

  “I missed you, too,” I breathed. “Master.”

  He went in for another kiss, possessively invading my mouth, claiming every part of me. His tongue twirled around mine so violently, I had trouble keeping up and breathing.

  “Coffee,” he said, abruptly stopping. He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him. I rushed behind him, smiling happily. Whatever effect he had on me, I could tell that it was mutual. And it was harder for him to hide—literally.

  “Actually,” he said, while we were pacing at his usual speed, “let’s make that a coffee to go. I’d like to walk with you.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Where?”

  “Shinjuku Gyoen. It’s a park close to here.”

  “I know,” I said. It was a beautiful park, too. And pretty big. “I don’t have that much time, though…”

  “I know. Me neither,” he assured.

  We grabbed a coffee and took it with us in big paper cups, decorated with—of course—cherry blossoms.

  “Oh,” I exclaimed when I noticed the motive. “Do you think they have cherry blossom trees in Shinjuku Gyoen?”

  He smiled at me. “Of course my cute pet, why do you think I want to take you there?”

  I was slightly dumbfounded and just smiled at him. The cherry blossoms were not quite in full bloom yet, but I had already seen a few trees here and there that had partly changed into their pale pink spring dress. The park would already look beautiful by now. It was downright romantic.

  “Do you have a day off?” I randomly asked, even though it was quite obvious due to his appearance.

  “Sort of,” he replied, being as vague as ever. “You just got here from work?”

  I nodded, adding, “And I have to work again tonight.”

  He gave me a sideways questioning look, but I chose to ignore it. I already regretted having said anything. The urge to get closer to him might turn to trouble if I forgot where to draw the line.

  Luckily, he didn’t ask anything further, but just made a remark about my appearance. “You look nice. So fancy and sexy.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled absentmindedly. He squeezed my hand, causing me to flinch in pain—and to remember.

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “Don’t forget who you are,” he warned. He tried to sound harsh, but couldn’t help smiling at me a little too sweetly.

  I noticed his pace slowing down w
hen we entered the park. We strolled along the paths, sipping on our coffees silently. It was a beautiful day, pretty warm and sunny. Most people still had to work, so the park’s visitors were mainly elderly people and mothers taking their children out in strollers.

  Suddenly, he stopped and turned toward me.

  “You didn’t think I had forgotten, did you?” he asked, producing something from his jacket pocket. It was the collar.

  “Oh, right,” I said. He may not have forgotten about it, but I certainly had. I smiled at him and pulled up my hair without being asked.

  He mirrored my smile and closed the collar around my neck. “Good girl.”

  Using the heart shaped d-ring at the front of my collar, he pulled me in for another kiss. A quick one.

  “Too bad I didn’t bring a leash for my pet,” he teased.

  I looked at him with a coy smile. “Do you have one?”

  He nodded. “Sure.”

  “That could be fun,” I said. “Just… maybe not in public.”

  “Well,” he said, taking my hand to continue our walk. “I would be the one to make that decision.”

  It didn’t take long until we reached the first little alley of cherry blossom trees. They were not in full bloom, as expected, but nonetheless beautiful.

  “It is going to look pretty spectacular here in a few days,” I commented.

  He looked up at the trees and nodded. “Yeah. Not as spectacular as you, though.”

  “Incorrigible charmer,” I whispered, lowering my eyes.

  “Just saying what is true.” He stopped walking and pulled me closer. I was expecting a kiss, but he just smiled down at me, our faces so close that the tips of our noses almost touched.

  “You do look wonderful,” he whispered. “I just wish you were wearing a dress or a skirt.”

  “Why is that?” I wanted to know, though I clearly had an idea.

  He started planting little kisses on my cheek, slowly moving toward my slightly opened mouth. Our lips met and I closed my eyes as his tongue once again started to explore mine. These kisses…they were so delicious, so pleasing and rewarding, and simultaneously increasing my hunger for more.

  I was breathing heavily when we stopped. He softly caressed my left cheek, his black eyes fixating on mine.