In Memory

by CJ Lyons

  The familiar scent of chlorine stung my nose, until I got used to it. Dr. Stevens waved at us from the end of the changeroom, as he pulled off his shirt.

  Was aware that both of us were staring. And then I smiled to myself. Ohoho, I’m not the only one of us with a sex drive, huh?

  Don’t know why I felt so triumphant about that.

  Noah opted to use a curtained stall to change into his swimsuit. So did I, because I actually had to get fully naked, because I neglected to put my swimsuit on under my pants before leaving.

  Was stuffing my bag into one of the lockers, when I heard him call my name.

  Walked over to the stall, “Huh? What’s up?”

  “Will you pass me a towel please?”

  Complied, handing it to him past the curtain. Saw a glimpse of his arm, seared with scars.

  Swallowed, morbidly fascinated to see the rest of his body. Don’t know why. Maybe because they’re less of a symbol of his abuse, but the fact that he survived it.

  They’re less horrible if I think about them like that.

  He exited the stall, with the towel I gave him wrapped around him like a blanket. It successfully hid all the scars on his torso. I was aware of permanent bruises down his legs, with a few incidental scars.

  Upon looking at his swim trunks, I had to laugh a bit. They were white and blue, with a pattern of anime cat heads, all frowning with little anger marks above them.

  “Well, are you ready to go?” I asked, taking his bag and shoving it in our locker.

  He took a deep breath, “Yes, I am ready.” Instinctively, he pulled the towel tighter around his shoulders.

  We went to the shower area; everyone else was already in the pool, I guess. Changerooms echo weirdly when there’s no one in them.

  Pushed the shower button in and stepped under the predictably cold spray. He looked at me curiously as I flicked the cold water off me and started towards the door.

  “You have to shower off before going in,” I explained, remembering that he’d never been to a pool before. “It’s the rules.”

  He tightened his grip on the towel, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I did not realise. I-”

  Figured out his plan. He was just going to sit on the edge with that towel around him and not actually go in.

  Goosebumps covered my skin in waves as I walked towards him. The shower I switched on was now spouting hot water. Dammit, go figure.

  Slowly, I grabbed the towel where he was holding on to it, and pulled it away. Felt like some sadistic magician, where my trick was to reveal the exact thing he wished so badly to hide.

  His face burned red as I looked at him, and he stared off to the side, not daring to return my gaze.

  Maybe it was just me, but seeing all these scars etched into his skin was almost worse than seeing the wounds when they were new. Bruises were tattooed into his skin, running across his chest and onto his back.

  Bit my lip, and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him into the now pleasantly warm shower.

  Water ran over both of us, running in smooth rivulets down my arms, and then on to him, where the smooth course became jagged over all of the irregularities on his skin.

  Stood behind him, and ran my hands down his arms, smooth against his skin, using the water as a buffer. Kissed his neck, a small act of reassurance. “It’s okay,” I whispered, hugging him gently.

  His thin arms covered mine, and he leaned back, resting his head on my collarbone. “I know.” He said quietly.

  “Ready?”

  He nodded, and I led him out into the bright fluorescent light of the main pool.

  It wasn’t terribly full, there were a large group of the younger nurses in the main pool, diving off the board. The older group was in the expansive hot tub, which is where I had my eye set.

  Noah followed behind me closely, with his arms across his chest to disguise himself as best he could. We stepped into the hot tub, sinking down with satisfaction. Chose it specifically because it will most definitely disguise his scars.

  “There…” I sighed, basking in the heat of the tub.

  He settled down beside me, and was close enough to touch me. Smiling contentedly, I grabbed his hand under the water, and squeezed it.

  We remained that way for a while, relaxing under the cloak of swirling water.

  “Oh, Aerian!” Terra’s voice made me open my eyes. She looked really good, I noted. She was wearing the sundress I made her with a pair of poppy red high heels, and had a white lily in her hair. “I’m glad you guys made it! I was gonna call you if you weren’t here yet!”

  Someone called her name, and she waved and dashed off. Shrugged, and leaned my head against the edge of the tub, enjoying the heat.

  After about fifteen minutes, Noah tapped my shoulder.

  “Aerie…”

  “Hmmm? What’s up?”

  His voice was soft as he continued, “You said before that you wanted me to inform you if I was feeling unwell, right?”

  “Yeah…”

  “I’m feeling rather faint.” he said weakly. Opened my eyes, turning to him. His skin was bright red, and his eyes were a little unfocused.

  Sat up straight, grabbing his arm. “Whoa, whoa, don’t faint. C’mon, we’ll go to the cooler part of the pool.” Held him firmly, walking with him out of the hot tub. “How come you didn’t say you we’re feeling faint before?”

  “You looked very comfortable, and I did not want to disturb you.”

  His skin burned pink, so I hurried him into the shallow end, sitting down with him in the cold water. Which felt like ice water after the hot tub. Eeeesh.

  The cool water seemed to make him much more alert. He splashed some in his face, and ran his fingers through his hair, spiking it up weirdly.

  It took a few more minutes for him to fully recover, and he watched the other swimmers with apparent interest. A few small kids were splashing nearby, playing in the water jets and swimming around the kiddie area.

  “How do they do that?” He asked.

  “Huh?”

  “How does one swim?”

  Instead of expressing my surprise that he didn’t know how to swim, just decided to answer him. At this point, I figured there was probably a million things he hadn’t done, and me pointing out how odd that was wasn’t going to help. “Er… you just float and paddle through the water with your arms and legs, I guess. Look, see, you just float on the water and move around with your arms. And you have to kick with your feet, like a motor.” Demonstrated in the shallow water, kicking up a wave.

  He copied me, kicking weirdly, like he was trying to ninja kick the water’s face or something.

  “No, up and down, like this.” I showed him again, scooting down into the deeper water. We were now in the kiddie pool, on the opposite side of the little kids. “Now float, so your head stays above the water, and use your arms to keep yourself steady, while you kick with your legs to move.”

  He tried, and was okay at it, he mostly just copied me.

  “Now for an actual swimming move, you have to float on your stomach, and put your face in the water.”

  He obeyed, and smashed his face into the water with more gusto than strictly necessary. Waited for him to do something, like move his arms or kick his legs or something.

  All he did was float there, with his face in the water. Shook my head, and grabbed him, hoisting him up out of the water.

  “Geez! What the hell are you doing?” I asked, clearing the water from his face. “Trying to drown yourself?”

  “I was following your directions, I think I executed them improperly.”

  Laughed out loud, “You have to move your arms, and kick, and lift your head to take a breath once in a while.”

  “Oh, I apologise. Let me try again.”

  This time, he started actually swimming, but sank like a stone. Lifted him up, with one hand under his thin bony chest, and the other under his thigh.

  He spluttered, coughing out some water.

 
; “That did not go very well.” He choked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

  “Here, I’ll hold you up until you get the hang of it. Just concentrate on moving your arms and kicking. I’ve got you.”

  He nodded, and tried again. As he kicked, he nudged my hand closer and closer to his… whoa boy.

  Ahum. Anyway.

  Was so turned on I could hardly even continue without wanting to kiss him madly in front of all these middle-aged women and their children. Managed somehow.

  We swam around for a while after he got the hang of it, progressing to the shallow end of the main pool. Was aware of the mothers looking at us and exchanging comments. Wondered if they were speculating about our sexuality. Probably, just from the looks on their faces.

  Terra joined them after a moment, and they not-so-subtly pointed at us and asked her a question. She stepped back, with her hands on her hips, frowning.

  She then leaned in, and said something in what I imagined to be a scary tone of voice. They seemed to be intimidated, at least enough to put their hands up in the universally known “whoa, I’m not a threat” pose.

  I love my sister. Smiled with satisfaction, swimming up beside Noah, who was venturing closer to the deep end.

  “I am getting better, I think. This feels much like flying.” He smiled, “I thoroughly enjoy it.”

  “Hmm… do you wanna try the water slide?”

  “How does that work?”

  “Basically, there’s a huge slide,” I pointed at the massive red structure, “And water flows down it, and it’s really fast and fun.”

  “Do you think I am ready?”

  “You’re treading water pretty well, I think you should be fine.”

  The problem with the water slide wasn’t the idea of it, or the many flights of stairs, or his swimming.

  He looked at the rushing gaping opening of the slide, and was instantly afraid.

  Now, to someone like me, who had overcome the fear of the slide at a young age, I couldn’t really see what he was so scared of. So I thought about it objectively, and holy moley.

  Something like ‘sure, let’s throw ourselves down this confined tube full of water and not ever be sure if there’s an end, that sounds fun and safe’.

  I could understand. The group of young kids were waiting behind us, some of them asking what the holdup was.

  Turned around, smiling at all of them. “Sorry, guys, my friend is a little afraid to go down…”

  A little girl piped up, “It’s safe, you know!” She stepped ahead, climbing onto the launch seat or whatever it’s called.

  “See? It’s like a waterfall in a cave!” she exclaimed, smiling up at Noah. She looked at me, “Do you mind if I go?”

  “Go for it! Show us how it’s done!”

  She beamed, and splashed a bit of water at us, and shot down the slide.

  We could hear her laughing all the way to the bottom, followed by the huge splash of her landing in the pool below.

  Noah craned his neck over the railing to see the pool below, where she was swimming to the stairs.

  “I see…” he murmured.

  “If you really don’t want to, it’s okay.” I said, moving aside so the next kid could go down.

  “But it’s fun!” the little kid said, zooming down.

  There were three more kids left, a red-haired girl and two boys with brown skin. “You can do it!” The two boys said in unison.

  “You look brave!” the girl said, “All you have to do is just try it!”

  He looked down the slide again, and hesitantly sat down, holding tightly to the sides. He wouldn’t let go, I could tell. I touched his hands, lifting them away from the sides, and moved him over, settling in beside him.

  “Right. Let’s go. I’ve got you.”

  The girl clapped, “Well, yeah! It’s easier to not be afraid going down into that if you’re with your friend!”

  The boys nodded their agreement, “You’ll be fine, guy!”

  Noah bit his lip, and clung to me tightly.

  “And a one, and a two, and- go!”

  I let go, and shot us down the slide. Heard him inhale in a deep breath as the tunnel got dark, and his grip became almost painful.

  “I am afraid.” He said, in a voice that suggested he was more than afraid. He was absolutely petrified.

  “It’s okay. I’ve got you. I won’t let you go.”

  We went down the three curves, and then shot out into the light and bright confusion of the landing pool. The sudden force tore him away from me, and I snatched wildly in the water for him, knowing he probably would need some help swimming.

  He was floundering around just a few feet from me, spinning underwater. Swam over to him, scooping him up into my arms. As soon as I touched him, he clutched me tightly, holding on to me. We moved up to the stairs, and I sat him down, very aware of his vise-like grip on my arms.

  “Hey, are you okay? What’s the matter?”

  “I hate the dark.” he shook his head, “I am sorry.”

  “No, hey. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were so scared of the dark. If I would have realised-”

  “Do you mind if we go back in that hot pool?”

  “Er… yeah, let’s go.” I stood up, and led him back to the hot tub, sinking in to it while a sinking feeling stuck in my gut.

  Really should think about stupid things like that before I do them. Ugh.

  He seemed to cheer up rather a lot when we were settled in the hot tub, and this time I kept a close eye on him to make sure he wasn’t getting faint. Once he started to fade a bit, I stood up and we went back in the normal pool, content to sit in the shallow end.

  He doesn’t seem to do well when he’s really hot. He does have low blood pressure. Hear that can affect how well someone does in a really hot environment.

  We relaxed in the shallow end, and I noticed he was looking at me rather intently. Pretended not to notice as his gaze raked over my body. Almost felt the intensity of it tingling across my skin.

  Shivered, maybe from the cool water. (yeah, let’s go with that)

  We decided to move over to the heated area just beside the deep end. (It’s really cool, there’s sun chairs and a heat lamp, presumably for people to pretend to sunbathe in the winter months.)

  We stretched out on one of the double chairs, and grabbed a couple of the nice humongous towels. Smiled as he got comfortable, finally at ease when his scars were covered.

  A loud peal of laughter interrupted our relaxing; I recognized it as Terra’s. She called my name and ran across the deck, yelling about something I couldn’t quite hear.

  One of her high heels slipped off as she ran, and she lost her balance and fell headlong into the deep end, her other shoe flying up into the air.

  Everyone stared at the resulting splash, and then just as quickly burst out into laughter. I stood up and hurried to the edge with Noah, who seemed to be restraining his laughter out of concern. I jumped in, and swam to her aid, supporting her as she laughed through the water.

  “Aer- Aerian!” she choked out my name, laughing and sinking as we moved doggedly to the edge, where several of her friends stood, ready to help her out. “I was just coming to tell you-” she swam the last burst towards the edge. “-you won the gift basket.”

  “All that for this? Are you crazy?” I laughed out loud, hoisting myself up onto the edge. I looked over to Noah, who was standing quite alone, with a towel wrapped around his shoulders.

  Waved him over, and he carefully stepped across the wet surface. He sat down beside me as all Terra’s friends escorted her to the changeroom to change out of her now soaked sundress. Hope it’s not ruined.

  He cracked a smile, and I followed suit, our mutual smile soon evolving into full-blown laughter.

  “I am rather cold.” He said eventually after our laughter had subsided, pulling the towel tighter around himself.

  “Well, you wanna head home now?”

  He nodded, “If you don’t mi
nd…”

  Actually, I had had just about enough of the pool. Was kind of chilly too. Guess it meant time for a hot shower and then home.

  The shower we had wasn’t as intimate as our first one, for one thing, he stood under his own faucet.

  As I was just rinsing the shampoo from my hair, he touched my arm, and stood on tiptoe, giving me a light soapy kiss.

  Was about to ask what it was for when he pre-emptively answered. “I wanted to thank you for being so understanding.”

  (I might note that we were alone because we were leaving early, and no one else was in the room. Otherwise, I don’t think he’d be so brazen.)

  “You’re welcome.” Gave him another kiss, pulling him close, feeling his skin slick with soap.

  We broke off just as the door opened, and Dr. Stevens walked in with a towel on his head. He stopped upon seeing how close we were to each other.

  Noah immediately went tense, a tell-tale sign of fear tightening the tendons in his neck. He shifted so he stood behind me, staring warily at Dr. Stevens.

  He smiled, and continued through the changeroom. “I thought so. You guys make a cute couple, you know.”

  I sighed with relief, but Noah seemed agitated still. He didn’t relax until we were back at home.

  (Was aware of his whole body on the ride back too. He was clinging to me, pressed against me to hide from the cold.)

  When we were back at home, I got a whole bunch of blankets, and started the fireplace. Held him until I was sure he was warm and comfortable. He was dozing off, so I suggested he go to bed.

  I settled him in his big soft bed, tucking him in and giving him a light kiss on the forehead. Stroked his hair, grinning at the happy smile I got in return.

  “I love you, Aerie.”

  “I love you too, Noah.”

  89 Days, 30 November, Sunday

  I’m rather fond of Sundays. In general, it seems to be my best day for just lying around and doing nothing. Always find it legitimized, because it’s the day everyone’s resting.

  Today, since Noah stayed over last night, we spent much of the day cuddling and watching TV.

  When Terra joined us, he quickly moved away from me, watching her closely.