In Memory

by CJ Lyons

  I tore through the barrier of people, jumping high in the air and landing heavily on the Leader. He fell to the floor, and I pinned him with my legs, throwing several punches to his face as hard as I could. The cheering got louder, I know it did.

  Someone grabbed me from behind, I swung wildly the moment I saw the red cuffs of the sports team jacket. As I stood up, another couple people slammed me into the locker, the impact hitting exactly where I hit my head before. That knocked me nearly out cold, and I dropped like a stone just in time to see Noah stand up.

  He positioned himself in front of me, in an obviously offensive stance. I still remember the way he felt, those angry, but still protective emotions swirling around him like a tornado.

  As I looked at the crowd around us, I swear I saw the Prophet again. He was standing completely still amongst the bustle of people. As far as I can tell, he was sad.

  Eventually, someone advanced, and Noah threw a strong, hard punch. Whoever he punched went down in one hit.

  Impressive, no matter how you look at it.

  That’s about when the teachers intervened, and we were all escorted to the office. There was more than one bloody nose and cut lip for the nurse to attend to. I also split my knuckles on the Leader’s face.

  And you know what? I don’t feel bad about wrecking his face. I feel bad about the incident as a whole, mostly because it took something as serious as this for the teachers to notice the problem. I also feel bad that we had to resort to violence to save ourselves. Terra picked us up at the school, since the principal pretty much banished us until next Wednesday.

  The car ride was long, tense, and silent.

  When we got home, we had to explain to Terra exactly what happened, which was not a fun conversation at all.

  “So you got suspended for fighting?? What the hell happened?”

  Her reaction was most definitely understandable, and we didn’t even retaliate when she roared at us. I figured it was smarter to just let her rage until she calmed down.

  Noah stood absolutely still while Terra yelled. His face was impassive, but his eyes shone and shivered with tears. I held his hand and squeezed it reassuringly, hoping to keep him from crying.

  He was strong in the fight, but not so much when he’s being yelled at. I understand why he’s feeling so lousy too. I mean, if I were to stay with someone who was kind enough to take me in, I would feel terrible if I did anything to upset them.

  After Terra finished yelling, she stood in front of us, with her hands on her hips, breathing out angry breaths through her nose. “Well?”

  “I’m sorry.” Noah said, his voice trembling as much as the rest of him. “I’m so sorry.” The tears on his eyelashes shook and fell down his face, but he still didn’t move.

  Terra looked guilty at the reaction she elicited, and sat down in the big armchair with her hand over her face. “Boys, just sit down, and tell me what happened.”

  Noah was silent, so I started from the beginning, retelling the events to the best of my recollection. I left out the part about seeing the Prophet.

  “So, you pounded in that boy’s face because he attacked first?”

  “I didn’t feel like I had much of a choice. If I didn’t attack him, he would have just kept on kicking. I’m not going to let that happen anymore!” I stood up, and immediately felt dizzy, and sank to my knees, my head throbbing. Flashes of things whirled through my mind; a bright light, Noah smiling, the Prophet with his eerie yellow eye, Terra grinning at me, leaves flying up into the air, turning into snow, and then a cold shock swallowed me up.

  “Aerie!”

  “Aerian, are you alright?”

  I shook my head, my hand flying up the spot that was angrily pulsating with hot pain. “Just a headache… I got pushed into a locker…” I eased myself back onto the couch beside Noah, suppressing a groan as the headache increased tenfold. I think that was the worst headache I’ve ever had. It felt like nails were being hammered into my head every time I moved. Even my teeth were aching, deep and intense. Every breath drew a new shot of searing pain through the back of my head.

  “Aerian, speak to me. Has your headache gotten worse since you got pushed?”

  “Y-yeah.”

  “We might have to go for another MRI, you know that, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  The headache was making my stomach turn now, I wanted all light and sound to just stop instantly. Everything was just aggravating it. I couldn’t even fathom the idea of an MRI right now. Whirring and clunking and bright lights.

  The thought of it almost made me sick.

  Noah touched my hand, which sent a wave of goosebumps up and down my back. Gradually, the nausea and pain lessened, which was comforting until I realised what was happening. Noah was taking that pain into himself to save me from it, just like that time when I had a sore throat.

  I ripped my hand away, not allowing it. But still, I could tell by my renewed clarity and the pain-induced fog in his eyes that it was already done.

  This isn’t what I wanted. It’s tantamount to me being the one who inflicted this pain on him. I feel like a villain in some horrible twisted drama.

  Terra seemed to grasp what happened too, and immediately started questioning him about his health.

  “I am fine… just a little dizzy.” He swallowed, and leaned back into the couch. “May I be excused?”

  Terra nodded, and Noah shakily got to his feet and hurried to his bedroom.

  I made to get up, halted by a sharp “Sit.” from Terra.

  “I should punish you.” She frowned, “But I really have no idea what sort of punishment I could give. I’m going to make you promise me something instead.” She sat down beside me, taking my bandaged hand, “Promise me you won’t go getting into fights like this again. That’s not how I taught you to win battles.”

  “But I-!”

  “I know exactly why you fought. You needed to keep him safe, but you mustn’t stoop to their level.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Oh, sweetie, I know.” She hugged my gently, stroking my hair. “Did those boys also get suspended?”

  “Yeah, and two of them got kicked off their team for the season.”

  “Well, good.”

  “You could ground me.” I suggested. “We were planning on going to the mall with Ariel, Julia and Zack tomorrow.”

  “Oh, whatever. Go to the mall. I wouldn’t be saying that if you had started it, though.”

  “I know.”

  “Now,” she straightened up, pointing at me sternly, “You go to your room and think about what you’ve done, and what you’re making for supper!”

  I grinned at her serious face, and went upstairs.

  I decided to make a rather elaborate dinner, since I knew we had the ingredients for a really good roast pork dinner.

  Noah was quiet and submissive for the rest of the evening as well. Terra was kind to him, and he seemed to realise this, but was still largely silent. He really doesn’t take being yelled at very well.

  I kept him company until he went to bed, and then went back to my room. He must really be feeling guilty.

  I can just imagine the thoughts he’s thinking. Something like: “It’s my fault that Terra yelled at us. If I wasn’t such a curse, this wouldn’t have happened, and he’s hurt because of me.”

  I can imagine.

  6 Days, 21 February, Saturday

  So, the mall trip was really fun today.

  I have never really gone to the mall, so Ariel and Julia took great pleasure in showing me all the artwork and interesting out-of-the-way curio shops. They ran off with Noah midway through the day to go clothes shopping with him (as if Terra’s purchases weren’t enough already.) Zack and I waved in amusement as they grabbed him by both arms and tore down the thoroughfare to the clothing shops.

  Zack and I got a bite to eat, and then meandered down that way. We got incredibly distracted by the bookstore, and eventually met up with them in front of the fo
od court.

  “Guys! Heyyy!” I heard Julia’s voice from behind us, and we turned around to see their group heading our way.

  Noah was wearing a completely different outfit than he came in, and looked a little uncomfortable. I became uncomfortable myself when I observed how tight his new pants were. Absolutely nothing left to the imagination. The girls had also dressed him in a new t-shirt, which was blue, with designs in white across the front.

  “I have a new shirt.” Noah said simplistically. “Ariel purchased it for my birthday.”

  “And I bought the pants!” Julia grinned, a bright light shining from her glasses as she smacked him playfully on the behind.

  I couldn’t help but think that that was my territory.

  When we were getting home, Noah smiled gently, and took my hand. “Today was fun. I am really happy.”

  I grinned back at him, and everyone else did too.

  Something started itching in the back of my skull as we went inside. We separated to our own rooms, and a migraine lanced through my mind, blurring my vision. It was worse than yesterday somehow. Flickers and darts of pictures ran through my mind, overwhelming me again.

  Flowers, drops of red paint, writing on a wall, a heart monitor, cords, a graveyard, a pile of bloodstained bandages, and then Noah.

  I saw him walking through the snow, smiling happily with a white scarf around his neck. There wasn’t the usual cloud of depression or pain around him. Just happiness. Then he looked up and waved to me. I waved back-

  I woke to him shaking me awake, calling my name in a terrified voice. Slowly, I sat up, realizing that I had collapsed on the floor. The headache still snapped and growled in the back of my head, but it wasn’t so fierce now.

  “Are you all right?”

  I blinked a few times, focusing on his scared face. “Y-yeah. I just… got a little dizzy is all.” I could see his hands reaching for me, and immediately knew what he was doing. “Don’t. Don’t touch me. I’m not going to let you take it today.”

  “But… you’re in pain!”

  “And you think I would wish this on you? No. Don’t touch me.”

  “Aerie…”

  “No.” I repeated in a stronger voice. I stood up, and faltered, falling to my knees and using my bed as a support. “I don’t want you to feel this ever again.”

  I must have passed out again, because this time I woke up to Terra shaking me awake, while Noah was explaining what happened. Which was followed by another trip to the hospital for another nerve-wracking MRI.

  All of that business, I don’t really remember at all. I have the vague impression it happened, but details are completely lost on me.

  I was sent home with an ice pack and a strong warning to stop hitting my head on things. Which is sort of a given, but it was on the note all the same.

  The guilt coming from Noah is almost insurmountable now. I’m stretched out on the couch, and he’s sitting at my feet, staring at the wall. The ice pack on the back of my head is mixing with the hot swelling of my rebruised skull, creating a weird lukewarm temperature.

  One of Terra’s friends brought a casserole over, which was immensely convenient and delicious. We entrusted the task of reheating it to Noah, since I was decidedly out of commission, and Terra’s just not good at that sort of thing.

  I fell asleep on the couch. Noah stayed with me too.

  5 Days, 22 February, Sunday

  I went to sleep under strict supervision, and Terra kept waking me up every hour to see how I was feeling.

  Needless to say, I didn’t get a very good sleep last night. Neither did Terra, I reckon.

  Luckily for me, it’s Sunday. I also had to resist the urge to take Noah in my arms, and just hold him as tight as I could. I was afraid he’d try to absorb my pain, and that was the last thing I wanted him to do.

  I can’t believe I only have five days. It’s a scary thought. Only one more hand, not even another round.

  What a terrible game of cards, to be dealt a hand such as this.

  4 Days, 23 February, Monday

  This is the very last Monday of my life.

  I spent it with friends, family, and the one I love.

  I suppose I can’t ask for more than that.

  3 Days, 24 February, Tuesday

  Last night was full of dreams. Full of clocks. I guess the pressure of the time I have left is influencing my already crazy dreams.

  Tobias grabbed my hand, and we started running. I didn’t know where I was at all. As far as I could tell, we were running down a school hallway, but it wasn’t one I recognized.

  Blood was underneath our feet, splashing with every step we took. It occurred to me then that maybe he finally got out of that classroom, and the blood was pouring down the halls.

  Tobias pulled me into a room, and slammed the door, pressing his back against it and motioning for me to do the same. Blood oozed under the door, and something started pounding on the door, thundering behind us.

  “Tobias! What’s happening?”

  “They are trying to catch you. I am going to protect you. You need more time.”

  “What do you mean? Who’s trying to-?”

  “The angels, they are trying to kill you while you sleep. This is the way they do it.” A particularly fierce push on the door behind us forced it open, but we hastily shoved it back, putting all our effort into it. “But I will not let them in here. I will protect you from them for as long as I can.”

  “Angels?” I was reminded of that brief vision of that other guy; he called me an angel. Casmaran.

  “Yes. They are the ones who have come to fetch your soul. You would have died peacefully in your sleep had I not intervened.”

  “And now what?”

  “Now I fear I have angered them. I apologise. Usually they can operate without intervention in these situations, but you are a special case. They had such a plot for you. Your death was meant to be explained away as an unforeseeable trauma from your recent injuries, causing a comatose state and eventually death tonight.” He winced under the creaking strain of the door, pushing against it with all his might.

  As he spoke, he was drawing some kind of sigil on the door, using the blood that was pooling around our feet and making it difficult to keep a firm footing. “Are you ready? Please step back.”

  Right away, I stepped away from the door. He slammed his hand on the sigil as a few glowing hands reached through the opening in the door.

  A blinding flash of light knocked me back, and I fell to the ground. I sat up and looked to see what happened. The door stood ajar, with no one near it.

  “T-Tobias?” I asked, studying the weird design on the door.

  A hand touched my shoulder, and I looked up to see Tobias standing there. “I have protected you this night. And I am now free. Thank you.”

  “Huh?”

  “When they came for you, they had to open my door, so I am now free.”

  “Um… that’s good.”

  “Perhaps I shall escape my fate.” Tobias gazed off into an invisible distance, “We shall see.” He knelt at my side, hugging me gently. “I only wish I could negate yours instead of buying a few days grace.”

  “It’s okay. Thanks for your effort.”

  “I will see you again. I promise you.”

  “Goodbye, Tobias.”

  As I woke up, I did have the slight feeling that I really shouldn’t have. Odd. I fell back asleep after observing it was 4:34 in the morning, and had another dream.

  The Prophet was walking along a balance beam. I was sitting high up in a tree fort watching him. The beam was at least twenty feet in the air.

  He was keeping almost perfect balance until he turned around and saw me. Then he stumbled, and nearly fell off. I gasped, and hurried to the side of the fort that the beam was connected to.

  “Hey! Grab my hand! Watch yourself!” I called, thrusting my hand out to him. “C’mon!”

  Slowly, he stepped across the beam, and took my hand.

>   “I was planning on falling, actually. I’ve done it before.” Said the Prophet as he landed safely on the floor of the tree fort.

  “Well, now you’re safe.”

  “That’s a matter of opinion, I suppose.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I think it is more unsafe to be around you at this point. Since you’re a wanted man and all.”

  “Wanted by whom?”

  “Me.” He grinned, and the yellow in his eye glimmered.

  “What?”

  “Good morning.”

  I woke up.

  This time, I did get up, and began my day. Noah seemed extra cheerful at breakfast this morning. Maybe since I am feeling better he’s feeling less guilty about the whole thing.

  School today was normal beyond all reason. Or maybe everything in life just seems normal in comparison to the idea of a crushing fate and whacked-out dreams bursting with metaphors and death and confusion.

  I smiled, and was the perfect picture of normalcy. Maybe it’ll make my death worse when it comes as such a shock. I think it’ll be anticlimactic for me, since I know when it’ll happen. For everyone else though… it’ll be such a plot twist.

  Noah and I touched for the first time since this weekend today. It was refreshing. His familiar cool dry skin on my own, quick kisses and gentle caresses throughout the day.

  “You feel far away from me today.” Noah murmured, as we lay together on his bed. He touched my chest, pressing my heart into it, “You have somewhere else on your mind.”

  At that moment, I debated on whether or not to just tell him. I didn’t, because I knew it might make it worse.

  So I just held him, and when I felt tears falling from my eyes, I didn’t stop them, and he didn’t ask what they were for.

  He knows there’s something in those tears.

  2 Days, 25 February, Wednesday

  How do I justify this writing now? As time ticks on, the writing becomes less precious.

  My time with him is much more important than this. I’m going to abandon this book for now.