Love Disorder

by Yuriko Hime

  I fixed my gaze on her. "We'll visit my friend's clothing store then. They sell good designs. The paparazzi wouldn't know that you're going there. But you really should be more accepting with them. How they portray you can boost or damage your image."

  "I'm not going to be cozy with them anytime soon," she said grimly. "Some of them are the lowest bunch."

  "Some," I repeated while pointing my pen at her. "You said it yourself. Some, but not all. I'm not asking you to be friends with them. All I want is for you to smile, or at least try to when you're in a good mood. You'll have better pictures in the internet. Most of your candid photos come across as you being angry or sad."

  "That's Uno," Blaze said. "Blame her, not me." Both of us went silent. That would be another problem to solve, I thought glumly. It would be next to impossible to make Uno smile at the paparazzi. I've only been around her a couple of times, but I could already imagine in my head how it would play out. I shuddered. "Wait up," Blaze said. "You've been checking out my pictures online haven't you?"

  "For work purposes," I said with a straight face.

  Her smile didn't leave her lips. "Whatever you say."

  "If you're done being super self-confident, maybe we can go to our next strategy." I flicked the paper. "Your fans Blaze. We need to do something about them to show your appreciation."

  She looked reluctant. "I can't." We haven't talked about it and she was already giving up.

  "What do you mean you can't?" I said.

  "Like I said before, I can't have anyone near me. They'll discover what I am, judge me, and feel disgusted. It's game over for my career when that happens." She jumped up from the sofa. "You have to understand. This is what I want in life. Acting is everything to me. People such as yourself like fashion. My parents love their business. Doctor Sanders like helping others. But me?" She pointed to herself. "I like the escape that acting gives."

  I considered what she said before replying. "Then let me help you with your dreams. We're in this together now. If you want to be number one, you have to listen to my advice. I'm not an expert, but I'm going to do my best for you."

  "And then what?" she asked.

  "And then we become happy."

  Chapter 13. Uno

  Doctor Sanders told me from our last meeting that dealing with patients who suffered from dissociative identity disorder, or DID, was going to be tricky. I'd never know which identity would come forth, which was why I shouldn't stress myself regarding the changes. In our case, Blaze was always the one who would greet me early in the morning.

  When the clock hit seven, she'd stroll inside the kitchen, sometimes whistling to herself, other times singing a song she invented. When it came to her songs, she'd pick a subject, say the color of my hair, and make up lyrics. A good example would be, Riri whose hair was red, she looked like she rolled out of bed. Though she could be weird, I welcomed the happiness and her openness.

  On the day that we agreed to go to Carter's shop to see the selection of clothes, Blaze came in the kitchen, not with her usual smile, but with a straight face and an attitude that immediately informed me that it wasn't her. I knew that Uno would reveal herself eventually. I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon.

  "Didn't I tell you that I hate milk?" was the first thing she said when she walked briskly inside the kitchen. She brought her laptop with her, which she placed carefully on the kitchen island. "Expecting another person are we?" she asked. I stared dumbfounded at her. "Close your mouth, Strawberries. A fly might come in."

  "Sorry," I mumbled as I took the carton of milk from the table and replaced it in the fridge. I hurried to work on the coffee. This morning, I was expecting rainbows and sunshine, but now the cloud has come. I had absolutely zero idea on how I was going to deal with her. The kitchen was so silent that I could hear my own breathing. It was quick and strained, like I was suffering from performance anxiety.

  I placed the cup of coffee in front of her. "That's better," she said. She didn't glance at me but continued scrolling and clicking on her laptop.

  "Do you want to eat now?" I asked.

  "Why else would I be here? You're not exactly the type of person I'd hang out with, would I?"

  That was so rude. Doctor Sanders told me to be patient and understanding, but it was too early in the morning for this. "Excuse me for not being perfect like you," I snapped. It was weird feeling irritated at her when I liked Blaze a lot. When she didn't even appear to have heard my mini-outburst, I placed the loaf of bread and the food I prepared on the table. "Maybe you should remove your laptop so we can eat properly."

  She stared at me. "Maybe you should stop being hostile in my house."

  Me? Hostile? "You got it the other way around," I said defensively.

  She pushed the laptop to the side. "Hostility and telling the truth are two different entities. You're the one who's staring daggers at me since you learned that I'm not her. I know that you know about my circumstances. My colleague, Doctor Sanders, informed me all about it."

  I noted that she called Doctor Sanders her colleague and not her psychologist. "I don't get it," I said.

  She nodded. "I don't expect you to. This kind of condition is rare. Even if psychologists have studied it, a small percent have actually encountered someone in the flesh. Surely an inexperienced person such as yourself have no idea what you're dealing with."

  "I'm not talking about your condition, Uno," I said, stressing her name. "What I don't get is how you can be a psychologist but still be a jerk at the same time. I thought you're all about helping people and treating stuff going on in the head?"

  "Your analogy is flawed. It's like saying that priests shouldn't think bad thoughts because they preach the word of God. Well guess what? They're human beings, and as with all human beings, they are subject to their own traits and personality. So am I. It doesn't matter what you've studied or the type of job you do."

  "So you're admitting that you're a jerk?" I smirked.

  "I admit that you're young and naive."

  Young and naive. Blaze told me the same thing when she was joking about being my girlfriend. I stared guiltily at Uno. Blaze was there somewhere, though she wouldn't have a recollection of this conversation because Uno was the one in command. I shouldn't be too hard on her for Blaze's sake. They were technically the same person. God. . . Doctor Sanders did tell me that this would be confusing.

  "Look," I said, taking a seat on the bar stool. "I don't want to argue or be hostile. I'm sorry. You surprised me, that's all. I need to get used to this."

  Uno barely glanced at me when she reached for the bread. "It doesn't bother me at all. It's best if you keep out of my way and let me study." She started eating.

  I'd steal a glance at her from time to time. She didn't return the stare, which made it so much easier to spy on her. Uno kept her back straight. Unlike Blaze who would look at the window or me, she trained her eyes on her plate. I attempted to make a conversation with her, just to see how far I'd go. "So," I said. "Did you choose the psychologist life, or did the psychologist life choose you?" Blaze would have cracked a smile at the question.

  Uno just blinked at me and said, "Excuse me?"

  "Never mind," I mumbled. We resumed eating in silence. It was too weird. The house that was usually occupied by Blaze's laughter and silly stories that never made sense was now filled with dread and nervousness. A hundred percent coming from me. This had to stop. I should at least make friends with her. She did own the house, and I owed her a lot despite her devil inside attitude.

  "I was wondering if you'd like to go with me."

  "No," she said automatically without even considering my suggestion.

  "Blaze and I made plans," I said. "We're supposed to go to my friend's boutique to check their outfits. Maybe you should go with me instead."

  "I'm not Blaze." She chewed her sandwich. "And I'm not coming with you. I need to study."

  "Why? Why is it so important to study?"

  She looked at me wi
th an are-you-kidding-me expression. My heartbeat was uncontrollable against my chest as she put her sandwich down on her plate. "Do you think I want to be like this forever?" she said. "Do you think I want Blaze running around without my knowledge doing heaven knows what? I don't. I need to somehow find a way to treat us so my colleague can make it right. Only learning about the case studies will help me. Not acting nor going to a boutique to play dress-up."

  I swallowed hard. She was looking at me like I was a subject under the microscope. I couldn't keep my voice steady when I said, "I-integration. That's what Doctor Sanders explained to me. The goal of the treatment is integration isn't it?"

  Uno took her sandwich again. "Frankly, I don't care what happens to your friend Blaze. I just want to live my life normally."

  My eyes widened. "That's super selfish of you," I accused. "Blaze is a good person."

  "She'll be the death of us both," Uno said, shaking her head.

  I sighed. There was no arguing with this kind of person. "Can you just go with me to the boutique? I really need you there. And before you say that you won't get a merit for coming with me, I beg to disagree. Just hear me out for a moment."

  She met my gaze and shrugged. "I'm giving you ten seconds. One."

  "Okay," I said in a hurry. "Blaze really needs this for her acting. You can say that it will make her happy. When she's happy, she will cooperate with you more. It means less hazard for your body, more studying, and a better chance at treatment. Do you agree?" I took a large gulp of air when I finished. Damn, I sounded like a rapper.

  Uno took her last bite and stood. "Meet me in thirty minutes outside," she said. "Not a second later."

  She was waiting for me inside her van when I stepped outside. The black beat-up van from before. Great. The last time I used it, the engine died a couple of times on me. Unlike Blaze, Uno didn't open the door. I shouldn't expect everyone to do that. It was just strange because I sort of got used to Blaze taking care of me when she had the chance.

  "Is this yours?" I said when I hopped in and shut the door.

  "Yes. I've told you this when we escaped from the attorney's office," she reminded. Back then I was so confused about her behavior. The van started to move.

  "I'm assuming that the Hummer belongs to Blaze. Why don't you get a nicer car for yourself? You have money."

  "Just because you have money doesn't mean you have to spend it on everything you see. This van is more than enough to do the job." She patted the dashboard. "Which way to your friend's shop?" I gave her the directions. Though I had question after question piled in my head, I decided to keep my mouth shut the whole ride. I recalled Uno saying before that she didn't like talking. Agreeing with me was more than enough.

  "Park the van over there." I pointed to a free spot. "We have to walk a couple of blocks from here. There's usually no available space near the shop." She screeched to a halt and maneuvered to the area. I glanced at Uno and face palmed myself. "Shit! I forgot that you can't walk here like the rest of us normally do. You'll be mobbed."

  Without a word, she took a black scarf from somewhere and wore it over her head. Coupled with her sunglasses, no one would suspect a thing. Even Bianca used this technique when I saw her in the studio. I had to take note of this. "You're not a very good manager," she said. "Next time, plan things better." She left the car.

  Uno walked fast. She was like a robot in front of me. It was a miracle that she could sidestep and avoid the pedestrians at the last second. I managed to catch up to her by jogging. "Will you slow down? What's the rush?"

  "I want to get this over with so I can go back to the house and study. This is for Blaze, not me."

  "I told you what you'll get out of this. Don't think like you're being conned." I gestured to the left. "It's over there." She walked faster than before. I pulled her to the side when we were near the store. "I need to tell you something before we enter. My friend's parents owns that shop. They're really important to me. Can you do me a favor and act nicely around them?"

  "Am I not being nice now? I went all the way here."

  "You are," I said to please her, and maybe not get a sarcasm for once. "But you know." I tried to explain with my hands though I wasn't making any sense. "Act nicer. Smile." She didn't respond. Gosh, I knew where this was headed. "How about I do something in return for you?" No way did I just say that, I thought. Making a deal with the devil was not a good thing. Riri you fool!

  If she wasn't interested earlier, she was definitely all ears now. She loomed over me frighteningly. "Like what kind of favor, Strawberries?"

  I gulped. "We'll talk about it when we get back. Right now I want you to act decently, meaning less sarcasm and full cooperation."

  She nodded. "Deal."

  Carter was behind the counter when we entered. He smiled widely when he saw me. "Long time no see Ri. How are things?"

  "It hasn't been a month," I said. "Why are you here?"

  He stepped around the counter. I saw him slip his keychain in his pocket. He has been practicing with his lock picking again. "The folks took a well-deserved break, and I was bored to death at the house. Figured I might as well go here." He nudged his chin to Uno's direction. "Who's your new friend?"

  I gripped Uno's arm and pushed her forward. "My newest guardian. I've told you about the situation right? Uno, this is Carter, my best friend. Carter, Uno."

  Uno removed her sunglasses. I held my breath, waiting for her to snap at Carter, or me. She gave Carter her killer smile and offered a hand. "A pleasure to meet you," she said politely as they shook. "Riri has told me so much about you."

  Carter looked nervously from me to Uno. He couldn't believe that she was really here. He wasn't usually standing this straight. "She did?" he squeaked.

  "Yes," Uno said. The smile never left her face. She looked relaxed. "You're a very hardworking man." Wow! Uno was a good liar. Or actress.

  "T-thank you," Carter said in awe. "Riri was right. You're really more beautiful in person."

  Uno's eyes flashed when she turned to me. She wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled me to her. She was using a different perfume than Blaze, but her natural scent that smelled of rain was dominant in the air. I calmed down immediately. Blaze was here. She was just sleeping. "So Riri," Uno said in a friendly tone, like we were the world's biggest best friend. What kind of outfit do you want me to wear?"

  "Oh yeah." I got out of her hold. "Let me handle this. You guys take a seat first. I'll call you when it's time to try it out."

  Minutes later while she was in the dressing room, Carter pulled me to the corner conspiratorially. He closed the shop and locked the door so we wouldn't have any uninvited guests. "I can't believe she's trying our clothes," he whispered to me. "Thanks dude. This will be good for business."

  "You can't tell anyone that she's been here," I murmured. "Not unless we have her permission. I'll talk to her about it." He frowned and nodded.

  After trying several outfits, Uno whipped out her credit card. She told Carter that I'd be back next time to pick the clothes. She didn't want to take everything with us at one go, nor did she want it delivered to her place. We were walking back to the van when I noticed her smirking to herself.

  "It's good that you're happy," I said. Sometimes shopping was a good therapy.

  "Of course I am. I can't wait to get that favor back from you." Her tone suggested that it wouldn't be good, and I'd regret my decision later by allowing her to have her way with me.

  A commotion not far from us made us halt. They were talking so loud that we couldn't help but overhear. There was an argument between a stocky man and a woman who looked my age. Some bystanders came to look, while others quickly went on their way. I heard the man say, "Give me your phone. You didn't ask for permission to take a picture of her."

  The woman clutched her phone against her chest. "But I'm a fan. It's not illegal either."

  He stepped threateningly to her, using his height as an advantage. "Don't you know who I am?" he b
oasted. "I'm Bianca's manager. If that's an ugly picture of her, I need to erase it."

  "I won't give you my phone!" the woman said. She sounded scared, but she was holding it together.

  The man surprised me by trying to pry the phone away from her hands. He was rough in doing so, not a care if anyone was looking, or if the woman was getting hurt. What stunned me even more was hearing Uno growl and seeing her leave my side. "Stop this!" she said authoritatively to the man. "Or I'm calling the police. This is harassment."

  The man didn't pay attention to Uno as he continued grabbing the phone. "Give me that!" he said. He forcefully acquired his target and slammed it on the ground.

  Upon seeing what he has done, Uno removed her sunglasses and threw it to his direction. Catching their attention, the man and woman turned to her. Their mouths dropped when they saw who it was. There was a moment of pure silence. People who realized what happened started taking out their phones to snap pictures.

  I tugged at her hand. "Let's go before the crowd doubles. Cover you face."

  She stepped to the woman and first "I have to go," she said. "Will you be alright?"

  The woman nodded shakily. "Y-yes. Thank you for sticking up to me."

  I tugged at Uno's hand again. The onlookers were getting larger in number. "Come on!" To the woman I said, "Please support her projects. That's how you thank her." We managed to evade the forming crowd and go back to our van without being followed. I grinned at Uno as the car started.

  "Don't say a word," she warned.

  "My lips are sealed," I said. But deep inside I could tell. She was a kind person after all.

  Chapter 14. Falling

  Uno had no intention of leaving anytime soon. Once her identity came out, all traces of Blaze were gone. I was missing Blaze, but I was also curious with Uno. Maybe she was trying hard to look stubborn and inpatient in front of me when in fact she was the opposite. Or maybe it was just me expecting more from her when I shouldn't.