Death Takes a Holiday

by Jennifer Harlow

  I grab her and give my best friend the biggest bear hug possible. “I love you.”

  “Well, I am the best friend ever,” she says mock serious. “And I love you too.” She pulls away and smiles. “Okay, now onto the important stuff. You almost had sex with Steven last night! Oh my God!”

  I grimace. “I know. Not my finest move.”

  “Well, why didn’t you round home?”

  “I don’t know,” I say. “We were having fun talking and joking around, and it just sort of happened. And it felt good cause, you know, it’s been forever, but then Steven kissed my neck and I thought of Oliver and then all of a sudden Will’s face popped into my mind, and I freaked. I don’t know why, really, but—”

  “Um, because you’re totally in love with them,” she says as if I’m an idiot.

  “I am not in love with them. Oliver is a dead man, and Will’s too in touch with his jerk side.”

  “And yet they pop into your head when you’re about to do the nasty and stop you. Maybe it’s not love, but it’s something.”

  “It’s horrible is what it is! Oliver is my best friend there, but he’s a corpse! A five-hundred-year-old corpse! I mean, eww. How do you get past that? I don’t think I could no matter how much he makes me laugh or how safe I feel with him. And Will … I don’t know what’s going on there. When I can have an actual conversation with him without shouting or drooling, he’s so hot and cold I want to attach a faucet to him.”

  “Could it be a werewolf thing?” She shakes her head. “I cannot believe that sentence actually came out of my mouth.”

  “No, it’s because his wife was killed by a werewolf, he became one, he hates Oliver, he likes me—but maybe just as a friend when he doesn’t hate me for not loathing Oliver—and I’m so powerful I make his skin physically prickle.” I sigh. “You know, hearing myself say this stuff maybe I should just apologize to Steven, marry him, and lead a nice boring life where I resent and hate him more and more as the years go by and die with a million regrets. You know, a normal existence.”

  “Or,” April draws the word out, “you can pick up your cell phone, call Will, tell him how you feel, and spend a whole week in bed screwing like rabbits!”

  “No!”

  April theatrically scoffs and puts her hands on her hips. “You just got done telling me you took down a huge snake with a machete all by yourself, but asking out a guy who is obviously totally nuts about you is too much for you? Give me a break!”

  “Well, for the record, it was a basilisk not a snake. Much more dangerous. But I didn’t do it alone. The team helped me. And the flamethrowers, they helped too.”

  “Oh shut up!” She starts walking toward my tote, and I follow. “If you won’t call him, I will!” She reaches my bag before I can and turns on my phone. Panic grips me because I know she’ll do it. She did in middle school with Joey Pollitt, and what a success that was. I believe the words eww, gross were uttered.

  I try to snatch the phone but she wiggles away from my hands. “April! Seriously!”

  “Stop it or I’ll tell Nana Liz your secret!”

  I stop. “You wouldn’t.”

  “I would. It’s ringing. Keep it on speaker!”

  She thrusts the phone into my hands. Someone picks up. “Hello?” I ask.

  “Bea?” Will asks.

  A wide-eyed April mouths the words, “He sounds cute!”

  “Yeah, it’s me” I say.

  “You got my message?”

  Smiling, April mouths the words, “He left you a message!”

  “Um yeah,” I say. “Of course I did. Why else would I be calling?” I shrug and April smiles.

  “And you agree with my assessment?” He sounds so serious the thrill I feel tapers.

  “Um, I guess.”

  “Good. I thought, perhaps, I was being too harsh, but if you agree then—”

  “Well, you were a little harsh,” I say looking at an equally confused April, “seeing as I did what had to be done.”

  April gives me a thumbs-up.

  “I disagree. There were multiple options available besides running alone into the home of a known violent vampire, assaulting him, and then bringing the civilian police into the mix, especially one you have sexual knowledge of!”

  “Hey, there was very little sexual knowledge last night, okay?” As the words spew out I instantly want to push them back in. I grimace as April’s mouth drops open.

  The other side of the line is dead silent, and that hole I fantasized about earlier is looking mighty appealing.

  “I mean, we had a relationship before, but not now. I mean, I didn’t invite him to help me. He just followed.”

  “And now he’s suspicious,” Will says, voice hard. “There have been searches in multiple databases regarding you today, all originating in Chula Vista and San Diego.”

  “Look, I’ll talk to him. I’ll fix this.”

  “And the inciting incident? What’s your justification there? You broke at least three procedural rules just by driving to the house.”

  “She called me! She needed help! What was I supposed to do? Wait for your guys to fly in while he was killing her? It was one vamp. And a hippie one at that.”

  “You never go in without backup! Never! You’re lucky I don’t put a disciplinary letter in your file. There can be far-reaching consequences we don’t even know about.”

  “I did my job!”

  “Poorly!”

  “Oh … go take a flea bath!” I slap the phone shut.

  April brings her hands up to her smiling mouth. “Okay, I totally changed my mind. What a prick! You like him?”

  “Well, not at this moment.” Though he did make some good points, ones I knew would come up. He just didn’t have to be such a jerk about it.

  “Is he always like that?” April asks.

  “No. Just when he’s worried about me. Or when I challenge him. Or when Oliver gets within fifty feet of him. Or of me.”

  “Another emotionally stunted male banging his chest and howling instead of telling you how he feels. Why are they all like that?”

  “They’re idiots?”

  “I’ll go with that.” She smiles again. “Well, I will say one thing. If what you’ve said is true, Little Miss I’ve Lied About Everything for Months, then that boy has it bad for you. Nobody goes off like that unless they care about you.”

  “He could just buy me flowers,” I mutter.

  “What did his message say?”

  I punch in my voicemail code. I have three new messages.

  “Bea, it’s Steven. I need you to call me when you get this. I have a few questions for you.” Delete.

  “He sounded pissed,” April says.

  “Do you blame him?”

  Next message. “Alexander, this is Will,” he says, all official. “I reviewed your report and I must say … there are quite a few things we must discuss regarding your conduct last night. Not only your reckless disregard for procedure, but also for your lack of basic common sense. Being tailed without your knowledge, entering a known dangerous situation without proper weapons or backup? I had hoped the months of training we have provided would have sunk in by now. Call me so we can discuss this further.” Delete.

  “Wow,” April says.

  “And I’m sure the next one is from Brian calling to tell me he wants to burn me at the stake.”

  Final message. “Hello, Special Agent Beatrice Alexander,” an unfamiliar male says. “I am calling on behalf of Lord Connor McInnis who requests a meeting with you and Officer Steven Weir this evening at Gaslight at seven o’clock to discuss the events that occurred in his territory last night and today. If you wish we can have a car pick you up at 16726 24th Street, which, according to our records, is the home of Elizabeth Alexander, your grandmother. We look forward to seeing you both.”

  Oh fudge. Oh double fudge sundae with ball bearings on top.

  “Who the hell was that?” April asks. “Who’s Lord Connor? Why did he know y
our address?”

  There isn’t time to answer her. Emergency mode has been engaged. I punch in Nana’s telephone number with my shaking hand. With each unanswered ring my tension level skyrockets. “Come on.”

  After the forth ring she picks up. “Hello?”

  “Nana! Are you okay?”

  “Of course, I was just in the other room. Where are you? I was getting worried.”

  “I’m fine. I’m with April at the beach.” I start collecting my things from the sand. “I’m on my way home right now.” With bag in tow, I start speed walking down the beach with April right behind me.

  “You missed dinner,” Nana says. “There’s a plate in the microwave for you.”

  “Hey, Nana, can you do me a favor? Can you go around the house and make sure all the doors and windows are locked?”

  “What? Why? Is something wrong?”

  “Not really,” I say, my calm façade cracking. “I just, um, have a bad feeling is all. There was something on the radio about an escaped convict. Better safe than sorry and all. I’ll be home soon. Don’t open the door for anyone and don’t go outside, okay? I love you.”

  “Beatrice, what—”

  “I have to go. Be home soon.” I shut the phone.

  We reach the lot with our cars, and I fumble around my bag for my keys but can’t find them in the mess. The sun is setting—or has set for all I know because of those … stupid clouds! The vamps can come out to play now, not that it really matters. He could have humans working for him. They could grab Nana for collateral. I just—

  Hands grip my shoulders, and spin me around. April looks as panicked as I feel. “What the hell is going on? Why was that guy on the phone?”

  “Bad news.” I find my keys and unlock the door. “I need to swing by your place. Javi still have that Beretta?”

  Her eyes pop out of her head. “A gun? You need a gun?”

  “I don’t have one with me. All I have is silver pepper spray. No, wait, I shouldn’t bring a gun. It might be seen as a sign of aggression. Crap.”

  “Silver—” She does a double take. “You’re going to that meeting? Alone?”

  “You heard him. He all but threatened Nana. And apparently I won’t be alone because he wants Steven there!” Okay, I was relatively calm a second ago, but now my stomach jerks. Lords and Ladies are the baddest mothers in the vampire world. They hold control over all the vamps in their territory, and they do it with power and ruthlessness. Mostly ruthlessness. The last time I faced off with one, Oliver and I almost died. That bastard Moon must have tattled.

  “You can’t go alone,” April says. “Call your people and have them go with you!”

  “I have to be there in less than an hour! They can’t get here on time! Look, I don’t have time to debate this. I need you to drive straight home, lock up your house, and don’t let anyone in or out until you hear from me, okay?”

  “Bea—”

  “Please listen to me for once.” I kiss her cheek. “I’ll be fine. I love you. Bye.” I leap into my car and drive away. She’ll listen. She’s not a moron like her best friend.

  Okay brain, help me out here. Don’t panic. This Connor guy can’t hurt you without a reason. This is probably just a friendly chat to discuss Moon. Nothing else. Unless he was Freddy of Dallas’s BFF and he wants to decapitate me. Then why have me bring Steven? Should I bring Steven? The vamp threatened Nana. If he told me to bring the Hope Diamond I would. No, Steven will be safe. He wouldn’t risk harming a human, especially a cop human.

  As I speed toward the bridge, I punch in Steven’s number. It goes straight to voicemail. “Hi, Steven,” I say with an undercurrent of fear, “it’s Bea. I really, really, really need to see you. It’s about last night. Can you meet me at the club Gaslight downtown about seven? It’s, um, kind of important. I just need you there, okay? Bye.” I shut the phone and take a deep breath. Half of me hopes he won’t get the message in time.

  I dial another person I have no desire to contact but now have no choice. “Is this who I think it is, or are my phone and mind playing tricks on me?” Oliver asks. “Because I seem to remember—”

  “Shut up,” I interject. “I need information.”

  “On what?” he asks, all humor gone from his voice.

  “Lord Connor of San Diego. I’ve been summoned.”

  The other end is quiet for a moment. “For what reason?”

  “My guess, the fiasco last night, which I’m sure you’ve heard about by now. And no lectures. Will’s already given me an earful.”

  “And you reciprocated, judging from the multitude of slammed doors in the past few minutes.” He pauses. “You should not go by yourself.”

  “Why? How bad is this guy?”

  “He has controlled his territory nearly unchallenged for a hundred and fifty years.”

  Which either means he’s God-powerful or Stalin-ruthless. “And do you know him? I mean, is he another pissed-off ex of yours or something?”

  “I never had the pleasure, no. He is merely an acquaintance I have come across a handful of times over the centuries. We did spend a summer in Venice together with Alain three hundred years ago. It was rather uneventful as I recall. He is neither friend nor foe.”

  “So this probably isn’t about revenge?”

  “You should not go alone, Beatrice.” Oh crud. He used my full name. Never a good thing. “I can be there in two hours.”

  “I don’t have two hours. The meeting’s set for seven.”

  “You need to wait,” he orders.

  “I can’t do that! He knows where Nana lives, maybe even Brian and April. I don’t show, who knows what happens.”

  “He threatened them?”

  “Indirectly, yes. I’m on my way home to check on Nana, but maybe you can have George call the police or FBI to get a patrol around the house just in case. I—”

  “Listen to me,” he snaps, “you cannot do this. The situation is far more dangerous than you can comprehend. You were responsible for the death of a Lord and fourteen of his subjects and now another one demands a meeting. Do you not see the relation?”

  “Then shouldn’t he be more scared of me than me of him?” I point out. This revelation lowers my fear to a point where I can’t hear my own heartbeat. “Look, you can’t talk me out of this. It’s probably nothing. I’ve given him no reason to hurt me, right? I was just doing my job. I’ll be fine.”

  “Trixie—”

  “If you don’t hear from me by eight my time, then come, okay? Make sure my family’s okay.”

  “I will be there in two hours,” he says with finality.

  “No,” I warn.

  “But—”

  “It’s nothing. I will be fine. Don’t. Come.”

  “You are being ridiculous and idiotic. You require assistance.”

  “No. I don’t, okay? I don’t want you here. Promise you won’t come unless you don’t hear from me. Promise.”

  He’s silent for a moment then says, “I promise.”

  “And don’t tell Will. That’s the last thing I need.”

  “I promise.”

  “Okay. Good. Thank you. I’ll call you before eight.”

  I’m about to hang up when he says, “Trixie?”

  “Yes?”

  He’s quiet again. “Nothing. Be safe.”

  “I will. Bye.” I shut the phone.

  I turn the car onto my street. The only car I don’t recognize is a black sedan a few houses down. I glance in as I pass it, but it has tinted windows. I pull into my driveway and sprint into the house. Nobody attacks me before I get inside.

  Nana sits on the couch in her pajamas watching the news as I come in, locking everything behind me. I go around shutting all the blinds as a concerned Nana watches.

  “What on earth?” she asks.

  I start shutting off the lights too. “You need to keep these closed, okay? And keep the lights off too.”

  “Beatrice, there is nothing on the news about an escaped c
onvict. What—?”

  “Look, I can’t explain right now. I will, I promise, but right now I just need you to trust me, okay?”

  Before she can answer I rush into my room, turning on the lights and reaching under my bed for my suitcase. In a tiny pouch is a small can of silver nitrate spray. That’s all I brought with me, and it was unintentional. Then I open my drawers until I find the next weapon in my arsenal. Black shirt, black jeans, black tennis shoes, and black leather half jacket. My big, bad monster-killer outfit. Bravado will be my biggest asset. I helped kill fifteen vampires in one day, including a Lord. I can show no fear. That is what will save me tonight.

  Though I closed my door, Nana walks in without knocking as I get dressed. “Beatrice Suzanne, you need to tell me what is going on right now. Are you in trouble? Is it drugs?”

  “Why does everyone think I’m a drug dealer?” I ask.

  “Are you? Are drug people coming for you?”

  “No!” I pull on my jacket and then put the canister down my cleavage. They never think to look there. “Look, I helped this girl last night, and it got kind of out of hand. I just have to go meet someone and explain everything. It’ll be fine. Steven’s going with me, okay?” I pick up my purse. “I have to go now. I’ll be late.”

  I quickly wipe some powder on my face and apply red lipstick. I’ve found that vamps love the color; if scaring him doesn’t work, I can always switch to flirting. Every vamp thinks he or she is God’s gift, might as well use the fact to my advantage.

  Nana folds her arms, watching me as I throw my wallet and cell phone in my purse from last night. I doubt a trained killer would show up with a daisy tote. “You’re lying to me,” Nana says.

  I look at her. “I’m not. I swear I’m not. I just need you to trust me. When I get home, we’ll sit down and I’ll tell you everything. But I can’t now, okay? I love you.” I kiss her cheek. “Keep everything locked. Don’t answer the door for anyone. And don’t let anyone in, and if you don’t know someone don’t look in their eyes. No matter what.”