Death Takes a Holiday

by Jennifer Harlow

  “I drive you crazy? Are you on crack?”

  “Just shut up for three seconds! Lord!” He throws his hands up in frustration. “I’ve just spent two and a half hours on a small plane with two men who despise me after a really bad day because I was scared to fucking death something happened to you, only to get attacked right off the bat! And now you won’t even let me talk! So yeah, you drive me nuts! But here I am! So you will let me fucking explain! Okay?” He almost pants in anger.

  I open my mouth for a snappy comeback, but it won’t come out. “Okay.”

  He runs both his hands though his floppy hair and starts pacing. “This is not me, you know. I am not a yeller. I don’t attack people, even when they deserve it.” He looks back into the house then back to me. “But for some reason, when I’m around you, I just … I lose it. I lose my fucking mind. My judgment gets clouded, and I don’t mean what I say or do. But the thought of you getting hurt or … ” He stops pacing and looks at me. Really looks at me. “I don’t like this person.” He shakes his head. “You asked me why I’m here? Because I couldn’t not be. I know you can handle yourself. I do. I’ve seen it. I’m breathing because of it. But the thought of you walking into a cabal alone with those bottom feeders drove reason clear out of my brain. And that pisses me off because I pride myself on being clearheaded and reasonable. And a part of me hates you for making me this person. That’s why I yell. That’s why I act like an asshole. Because I don’t know whether to kill you or …” He finally takes a deep breath. “And I know it’s not your fault. I know that. But it’s not rational, it’s just how it is. And I don’t know how to stop it. So here I am. Yelling at you again and hating myself for it. And having you hate me for it. And that kills me. I don’t want to be like this. I can’t stand it, but I can’t stop it. And I don’t know if you’re worth all this.” He shrugs. “You can’t be worth my sanity, right? So. Here we are. Yeah.”

  I’m shocked. Totally and utterly shocked. Him too, because his wild expression matches my own. I think this is the first time he’s admitted these things to anyone, including himself. Part of me wants to smack him. The other … well, I guess we have that in common. “Um,” I say, trying to keep my voice from breaking, “thank you. For your honesty. I appreciate it.” Then the words hit my brain, and my stomach drops right down there with my heart. Those tears I’ve been holding back since yesterday can no longer be contained. “I’ve been, um,” I sniffle, “thinking about this for the last few days. And I said it in there, but … I mean it out here. I make everything too hard. No matter what, I make things worse for everyone around me. So after this Connor thing is taken care of, I’m gonna quit.”

  “What? No, I didn’t mean—”

  I hold up my hand. “No. Just stop talking, okay? Just shut up. You’ve said more than enough.”

  I turn away from him, swallowing my tears. I refuse to let him see one more drop. Oliver stands from the couch as I enter, staring at me with anticipation. I know he heard everything, but I don’t care. I don’t care about anything except what I have to do next. Will takes a step inside, but just the one. “How do we get Connor off my back?”

  Will glances at Oliver who hangs his head. “I do not know.”

  “The consort thing is key,” I say. “Without it he has nothing. So how do we divorce?”

  “We are not married,” he says. “Vampire marriage can only occur between—”

  “Don’t care,” I say. “How do we nullify the contract?”

  He pauses, then says, “We cannot.”

  “Why the hell not?” Will asks.

  “It is a lifetime contract put in place for the protection of the human. It makes it a crime to feed on or hurt the human, which is why I claimed you as mine in Dallas.”

  “Bullshit,” Will says.

  “I did not think it would be considered a true consortship once the real nature of our relationship was revealed,” he says to me. “That and all the conditions have not been met.”

  “Which one hasn’t?” Will asks.

  “We haven’t had sex,” I say sternly. “Not that anyone believes that. And we can’t prove it.”

  “Yes,” Oliver says, casting his eyes down to the floor.

  “So, if I’m your consort until I die, then how can I be Connor’s too? Bigamy?”

  “No, you can be a consort for life. You or the vampire you are tied to can transfer ownership to another vampire.”

  “Like a slave,” says Will. “Nice.”

  “At least we do not kill our deformed young like your brethren.”

  “I would never—”

  “Not helping,” I cut in. The men sneer at each other then look away. “So I’m your consort. No way I can see around that.”

  “It would appear so.”

  “Then he’ll follow me until he finds a reason to kill me or force me into his bed.”

  “Most likely.”

  “Then I see no other option,” I say. “We take a chapter from his playbook. We go in there, and we scare the hell out of him until he does what we want. If that doesn’t work … we kill him,” I say, my voice hard. “Who else did you bring?”

  “Wolfe,” Oliver says. “He insisted. The others are on standby.”

  “Bea, we can’t—” Will says.

  “Weapons?”

  “Enough,” Oliver says.

  “Guys, this is not happening. We’re officers of the law.”

  “Um, I’m pretty sure I just quit,” I say.

  “And I must protect my consort,” Oliver says. “I shall call Wolfe. He should be done checking us into the hotel.” Oliver flips open his cell phone, walking into the back.

  “I’ll put on some clothes,” I say as I step toward my room.

  Will grabs my arm, pulling me toward him. “You cannot seriously be considering this.”

  “Damn straight.”

  “It’s suicide,” he says, taking my arm. “We’ll figure out a better way than going in there guns blazing.”

  “I’m all ears,” I say, looking into his green eyes, challenging him. His mouth twitches but he doesn’t speak. “Didn’t think so.” I pull my arm away. “We’re going. Come, don’t come, it’s up to you.”

  I start toward my bedroom when he speaks. “You don’t know what you’re asking of me.”

  I spin around. “I’m asking you to help save my life. My family’s lives.”

  “No, you’re asking me to potentially break the law. Possibly get killed in the process.”

  “I know. It’s a lot.” I nod. “But I guess you have to ask yourself a question then.”

  “What?”

  “Is she worth it?”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “Yeah. It is. So … am I?”

  Oliver’s intrusion back in the room stops Will dead. “Wolfe is on his way. I told him to meet us outside the cemetery. He is also phoning the police to report gunshots. They should be on their way. The gentlemen across the street would not dare leave their car to cause harm with the police there. Your grandmother will be safe.”

  “Good thinking. Thank you.”

  “Do you know a way to exit without arousing suspicion?” Oliver asks.

  “We can hop the fence and cut through the neighbor’s back yards. It’s only two houses.”

  “Good.” Oliver turns to Will, who hasn’t taken his eyes off me this entire exchange. “And you, William? Will you be storming the castle, risking life and limb to save the fair maiden from the evil Lord who wishes to steal her away from us?”

  His eyes bore into mine, all doubt and sadness vanishing. My whole exhausted body suddenly springs to life in tension and anticipation. A peaceful smile I never thought him capable of forms on his face. He says one word. Just one word and everything crappy in my life, all the pain, degradation, and doubt melts away. One word changes everything.

  “Absolutely.”

  After I instruct Nana not to go outside for anything, we wait until we hear the police sirens out front
before escaping over the back fence. My neighbors must be preoccupied with the three squad cars because they don’t even check to see why their animals are going nuts as we run though. Two back yards later we’re across Hilltop Street standing outside the huge gates of the cemetery.

  From here I can still see the commotion on my street. Three police cruisers and six officers move around the house across the street while others try to answer my curious neighbors’ questions. Merry and Pippin are being questioned by an officer, neither too thrilled. Ha ha.

  “Why does it not surprise me that you live beside a cemetery?” Oliver asks, staring inside at the gravestones.

  “Shut up,” I say.

  A minute later an SUV pulls up to us. Will climbs into the very back with me and Oliver in the middle. Agent Wolfe quickly drives down the street past the circus.

  “Worked like a charm, huh?” Agent Wolfe says.

  “Let’s hope the cops keep them busy for the next ten minutes so they can’t call Connor,” I say.

  “Shouldn’t be a problem,” Agent Wolfe says. “I said I was positive the shots came from inside the car. They’ll search it, which should take awhile.” He turns onto Market Street. “Are we sure this guy will still be at the club?”

  “No, but if he isn’t one of the other vamps should know where he is.”

  “We shall just have to pull it out of them,” Oliver says, tone so cold I get a shiver.

  “Are you cold?” Will asks.

  “Um, a little,” I say, not wanting to admit the real reason. I have to be tough and unemotional from here on.

  Will takes off his brown suede jacket, passing it up to me. “Here.”

  Smiling, I take it and slip it on. It’s huge on me but really warm. From his body. “Thank you.” He smiles back, and the temp rises, not from the coat. He hasn’t smiled at me in months and now twice in minutes. A familiar girly gooey feeling returns.

  “What a gentleman you are, William,” Oliver says.

  Both our smiles drop. “Shut up, Oliver,” I say.

  Agent Wolfe clears his throat. “So, um, is there a plan or are we just going in guns blazing?”

  “There’s bound to be people in the club now,” I say.

  “How many vamps were there before?” Will asks, all business now.

  I fill them in on the players and layout of the club.

  “They won’t want to attack us in front of civilians,” Will says.

  “Violence should be a last resort anyway,” I say.

  “But we should be prepared for it,” Oliver adds. “Only if reason and persuasion fail.” He turns around to Will, challenging him with his narrowed eyes. “And they must believe we are capable of it.”

  Will’s expression matches Oliver’s. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”

  “Good.” Oliver turns back around.

  “Thank you,” I say. “All of you.”

  “You’d do it for us,” Agent Wolfe says.

  “Still. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” Will says with another delicious smile.

  Agent Wolfe cruises past the club, and sure enough there’s a line of scantily clad girls and coiffed men waiting to get in. The bouncer seems fully recovered from earlier. Agent Wolfe rounds the corner, parking on the side of the street. “So. Plan?” he asks.

  I shrug. “Wing it.”

  We pile out of the car to congregate at the back. Inside is a black duffel with an arsenal inside. Pistols, sawed-off shotguns, knives, pepper spray, and my Bette. We load up. I hand Will his coat so I can have easier access to my 9mm with silver bullets. Bette and her black leather holder attach on the opposite side. Covered by my long sleeve is a silver dagger velcroed to my forearm. Will chooses a two-sided shoulder holster with a gun on either side, Bowie knife, and silver-plated baton. The coat covers them all. Agent Wolfe selects a Kevlar vest with hidden vial of Holy water, two guns, baton, and silver cross with spring-loaded blade inside. Oliver just watches us prepare for battle.

  “Why aren’t you getting ready?” I ask as I secure my belt.

  “It would be unwise for me to confront Connor armed,” he says. “It could aggravate the situation.”

  “He’s right,” Will says, placing his gold badge visibly on the outside of his coat.

  “I trust you will protect me if need be,” he says. Agent Wolfe tosses Oliver his gold shield and hands me mine. I set it next to the gun. Oliver sticks his in his pocket as Agent Wolfe closes the trunk. “Are we ready?”

  “Let’s have some fun,” Agent Wolfe says with a grin.

  I lead the way around the corner with the men a foot behind. People stop and stare at us with a mix of concern and awe. One girl’s mouth literally drops when she sees the gun. I wink at her. The others whisper to each other and a few actually leave. Smart of them.

  The bouncer went on high alert the moment he saw me, his bulky body visibly tensing. He folds his arms across his chest. I give him my sweetest smile and bat my eyelashes. “Hello, sweetie.”

  “You are not welcome here,” he says.

  “That has never stopped us before,” says Oliver.

  Will steps forward. “I’m Special Agent William Price with the FBI,” he says, holding out his badge. “We have business with Connor McInnis.”

  “He’s not here.”

  “Then where is he?” Agent Wolfe asks.

  “Not here,” the man says, close to gnarling.

  “I grow bored with this conversation,” Oliver says. “Elder Oliver Montrose and representatives from the legal body, the F.R.E.A.K.S., demands an audience with Lord Connor. If our request is not met, then in accordance with bylaw 57.8 we can bring him before a tribunal of his peers, including the ruler of Los Angeles. Tony would adore that.”

  The bouncer’s lip twitches. Got him. “No weapons are allowed.”

  “Don’t think so, cupcake,” I say.

  “We are members of law enforcement,” Will says, “we’re required to carry at all times.”

  “Yeah. Sorry,” I say with another smile. “Though no shotgun this time. Promise.”

  He’s trapped, and he knows it. “Go in.”

  “Thank you,” I say cheerfully as I pass.

  “Bitch,” he mutters.

  The club is packed, dark, and loud. House music blasts from the speakers with the people and lightshow moving to the beat. I liked it better before. Through the crowd I spot the bartender, Matilda, and two men I think are humans serving drinks. Like the bouncer, Matilda is nowhere near happy to see me. She even reaches under the bar for the gun, but I shake my head and she scowls, moving her hand away. The horde clamors for their drinks, but she ignores them as my posse saddles up to the bar. “What are you doing back here?”

  “Guess,” I shout over the music.

  “He’s not—”

  “Yes, he is,” Oliver says.

  “We’ve been through this with the man outside,” I say. “Call Connor. Now!”

  She flinches with my last word. Still afraid of me, I see. This pleases me to no end. She picks up the phone and dials. “Sir? She’s back.” She listens. “No. Three others. One’s a vampire.” Pause. “Yes. Yes, sir.” She hangs up. “He’ll see you and the vampire alone. No weapons.”

  “We’re all going up,” Will says. “If you have a problem with that, miss, then I suggest you stop us.”

  Nobody does. I lead my posse through the dancers, up the stairs past the skinny doorman who almost drops his clipboard when he lays eyes on me, and through the velvet curtain that hides the office. Neil stands guard directly in front of the door. “I cannot allow you to enter with weapons.”

  “That’s nice,” I say before pushing him aside with my mind and throwing the door open. Connor sits behind the desk with a phone pressed against his ear as I storm in. “You bastard.”

  He holds up a finger. “Lawrence, I am going to have to call you back.” He hangs up.

  “I am sorry sir, they simply walked in,” Neil says.


  “We will discuss it later, Neil,” Connor says. “Please wait outside.”

  “Sir, are you sure—”

  “If I need you, I shall call for you.”

  “Agent Wolfe, keep him company?” Will orders, not taking his eyes off the strangely impassive Connor. I was expecting quaking boots, not amusement. Neil and Agent Wolfe eye each other before walking out.

  Connor gazes up at me, that gorgeous face lit up with a smile. “Well, Miss Alexander. Twice in one night. If you continue to show up like this, people shall think we are in love.”

  “Not in this or any other lifetime, pal.”

  “We shall see.”

  “You shut your fucking mouth,” Will says.

  Connor ignores him, shifting his attention to Oliver. “And Oliver,” he says. “This is unexpected. It has been what? Two hundred years since Venice?”

  “Three,” Oliver says with a matching smile.

  “And how is Alain?”

  “I do not know. We have not spoken for over a century.”

  The smile drops. “A pity.” Now he acknowledges Will with a glance. “And who is your friend?”

  “Special Agent William Price, F.R.E.A.K.S.,” Will says, voice sharp enough to cut glass.

  “Oh, I believe I have heard of you. Were you the wolf who assisted in the massacre in Dallas?”

  “Yep,” he says with a hard scowl.

  “And now you are all here. I suppose I should be frightened,” he says, anything but.

  “Oh yeah,” I say.

  A small smile crosses his face as he surveys us and sits back in his chair. “And yet, I am not. I have done nothing to warrant this visit. I have not threatened, I have not harmed. You have no reason for further recourse.”

  Will rips off his badge, tossing it on Connor’s desk. “What makes you think we’re here in an official capacity?” Will, nostrils flaring, stares down the not-as-confident-as-he-was-a-second-ago vamp. Their eyes remain locked in battle for a few seconds until Connor looks away first. I do believe we have just obtained the upper hand.

  “You should have stuck to our deal,” I say, crossing my arms. “I let you live, you leave me alone. Simple, easy, fair. I’m not that irresistible, Danny Boy.”