Tortured Beginning

by V. M. Holk

  I light a cigarette and enjoy that first one. I walk back in and get together a plate of muffins and coffee cake for breakfast.

  I cut up some fresh fruit and have a nice spread for us. I hear the doorbell ring and smile, because only one person would come over this early. I walk to the door and see Trevan coming down the stairs. I smile up at him and he smiles back.

  I open the door to see Anne and Wyatt on the other side.

  "Good Morning."

  "Good Morning. Come in, I just made coffee."

  They walk in and follow us into the kitchen. Trevan and Wyatt step outside, talking about sports or something. I smile and like how things have ended up for all of us.

  "So how was your night?" Anne asks.

  "Oh my god, he took me to Wicked. It was amazing."

  "That is so great, I know how bad you wanted to see that."

  I get the coffee in the portable carafe, as I tell Anne all about last night. She pulls down my big tray and grabs mugs. She places cream, sugar and spoons on the tray next to the mugs.

  "So, how are you and Wyatt?"

  "We are fine. It's been a bumpy ride, but we are good."

  "Yeah. But I think you guys will get there."

  "So how are you and Trevan?"

  "We are good." I smile at her.

  She nods, as if she knows something that I don't. She puts the coffee on the tray and picks it up. I grab plates and napkins, setting them on the tray as well. I grab the plate of breakfast goodies and the tray of fruit.

  Trevan opens the door for us and we set it all on the patio table. We all make a plate and a coffee. We enjoy the company of each other, I'm thankful that Anne and I could both take today off.

  I look around the table, smiling at myself. So this is what normal is? I'm still not sure how to react to all of it, but I enjoy being with these people.

  I can't believe that it's been such an eventful couple of months. Trevan and I have been spending a lot of time together. And for once, I'm actually happy. Summer is almost over and the leaves are starting to change.

  This time of year means that we will have the holiday's soon. I'm not big on the holiday's and would love to skip them all. I do love the fall and how beautiful everything looks, but then I could skip over winter, to Spring.

  I hurry to get ready, Trevan is picking me up for a night out with our friends. Everyone is coming, even his friend Jason. It's the first time we will all be out together. We decided to go to Emil's, because it's a bigger bar than Chap's.

  I get downstairs and hear the doorbell. I know it's Trevan, so I hurry to the door. I open it and smile to him, and drink him in. He is so good looking, even in a pair of jeans and a sweater. He dresses so much better than any man I have ever dated. Most of the guys I have been with have only wore jeans and t-shirts. I like the change, but I sometimes miss the other. Nico, comes to my mind and I wonder how he has been. I shake myself wondering why I thought of him now.

  "You ready?"

  "Yeah. Let me grab a jacket."

  I open the closet door and pull my favorite short black leather jacket. This time of year, you always have to be prepared for the cooler nights. I walk up to Trevan, kiss him hard on the lips, then close the door behind us.

  I look up to the sky and notice the days are already getting shorter. I open the door to the car and get in. Trevan gets behind the wheel and puts the car in gear. It's a ten minute drive to Emil's and we listen to music on the way.

  Once we are there, Trevan pulls in and parks the car. I'm excited for a fun night of dancing, karaoke and friends. We get out and I hear the beep of the alarm on his car. He puts his hand on the small of my back and guides me inside. I love the feel of protection that touch gives me.

  We look around to find our group in the corner and we walk over to them.

  "WooHoo bitches. Let the fucking party begin." I yell to everyone.

  Trevan puts his lips to my ear, "I'll be right back."

  I look over my shoulder at him and nod.

  When we walked in, I couldn't believe who I saw. Tami was at the bar with her best friend, Jamie. The two were always together. She saw me, her face lit up and she waved for me to come over. I knew I had to talk to her, I didn't want to cause a scene, in front of everyone.

  I walk over to the table with Jaylah, then whisper to her I would be right back. I look over to Jason, and he is laughing at me. He has gone out with all of us, so he has gotten to know everyone. He leans back in his chair shaking his head, as I walk to the bar.

  As soon as I get to the bar, Tami latches onto me. She wraps her arms around me and looks into my eyes. I grab her arms and pull them away from.

  "What's wrong with you, Trevan?" she asks, with her puppy dog eyes.

  "Nothing. You don't get to do that anymore."

  Tami gives me pouty lips and tries to act hurt. I look back and realize that those things I thought were cute, only irrate me now. I shake my head and run my hands over my face.

  "What don't tell me you are with that woman you walked in with."

  "Don't worry about who I'm with. I only came over to say hello."

  "If that's who you want, whatever Trevan. I miss you, I would love to talk with you sometime."

  "You made your decision, now you have to live with it."

  "Come on Trevan, don't be like that. We have a history, you can't blame a girl for being scared. We got serious so quick, I felt like I was drowning. But now that we have been apart, I realize what we had. And I want it back."

  "Tami, don't do this to me."

  I don't want to hear now that she thinks she made a mistake, it's too late. I don't want Jaylah to come up and see Tami. But as I'm getting ready to leave, I feel someone touch my back. I turn slightly to see Jaylah.

  "Hey. So, who is this?" she points at Tami.

  Before I can answer, Tami says, "Hi. I'm Tami, Trevan's girlfriend."

  I want to crawl under a rock. But quickly reply, "Ex-girlfriend."

  "Whatever. Come on Trevan, we have drinks and everyone is waiting for you."

  I don't know how to respond to her and simply nod. I don't say anything else to Tami. I turn and follow Jaylah back to our friends. I keep thinking that either Jaylah is the coolest girlfriend, or this is going to bite me in the ass later.

  Once at the table, Jason comes up next to me. He slaps me on the back and shakes his head.

  "That was stupid, my friend."

  "You're probably right." I shake my head at myself.

  "There is no probably about it, I am right. When Jaylah saw Tami hanging on you, well let's just say I thought it was on. What did she say."

  "Nothing really. I think she might be okay."

  He shakes his head, "I wouldn't hold your breath. Your woman over there isn't one to fuck with."

  I nod, as I look over to Jay, standing next to Lynette and Anne. They are picking a song to sing together. She looks up for a moment and smiles at me. I smile back and decide not to worry about it. I can deal with whatever, when it comes up.

  The rest of the evening goes by with no more drama. We all take turns doing karaoke and did a lot of dancing. I don't normally do things like this, but I had a good time. I stopped drinking, after the first drink. This way I can drive anyone home that is too drunk.

  When we leave, Anne and Wyatt get into my car. Jason wasn't drinking either, so he takes Lynette and Steve. There was a few other friends of Jaylah's there, but they had other rides. I get into the car and pull out of the parking lot. I look over to Jay, and she has her arms crossed over her chest. She is staring out the window, without a single glance my way.

  Well shit, so much for the cool girlfriend. I should have known better. I pull up to Anne's house and the get out of the backseat.

  "Thanks for the ride," Wyatt says as he grabs Anne around the waist.

  "No problem."

  I drive the few houses down and pull into Jaylah's driveway. I put the car in park and she already has her door open.

  "I
'm really tired and don't feel good. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

  She is already getting out of the car before she waits for my answer.

  "Sure." I sigh.

  She slams the door and I watch her get into the house. Well so much for the end of the night. I drive home, wondering what the fuck I'm going to do to fix this. I know I need to let her cool off before I try to do anything.

  Once I get home, I hit the garage door opener and park my car. I hit it again and the door shuts behind me. I walk into the house and am greeted by Gus.

  "Hey Gus, Gus. How's my boy? I saw mommy today."

  I shake my head at my own commit and pick Gus up. He starts rubbing his head under my chin, purring his little head off.

  "At least I have you." I tell him as I scratch behind his ear.

  I walk into my room and set him on the bed. I strip down to my underwear and crawl under the blankets. Why the fuck does shit like this have to happen to me. Gus curls up next to me and I fall asleep thinking what is wrong with me.

  I haven't talked to Trevan in a couple of days. I might have overreacted at the bar. But it fucking pissed me off to see that bitch with her hands on my fucking man.

  Yet another reason I don't do relationships, I hate being like this. I called Jason, I don't want him to know I'm coming, I hope to surprise him. He tells me that he took the afternoon off.

  I pull into his driveway. I've missed him, so I'm excited to see him. I walk up to the front door and knock. It takes him awhile to answer, and when he opens the door he looks surprised.

  "Hey. I wanted to surprise you."

  I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his neck. I pull his lips to mine and kiss him hard. He pulls away from me and then I hear someone in the kitchen.

  "Someone here?" a woman yells.

  I look at him and I swear I can see red. I look towards the voice and I see Tami walking towards us. When she see's me, she stops and turns around.

  "What the fuck is this, Trevan?" I point in Tami's direction.

  "It's not what you think."

  "So what do I think, please enlighten me."

  "Please, don't do that. She came over to talk, she still has some stuff here."

  "Talk, huh. Well let me make this real fucking easy for you Trevan. Fuck off."

  I turn to walk away and he grabs my arm. I look back into his eyes and I see the pleading in them.

  "Please, don't."

  "Don't worry, Trevan. You aren't the first one to leave me. This is why I don't do this shit, so people can't fucking hurt me."

  I pull away from him and walk back to my car. I slam my door and start it quickly, so I can get the fuck out of here. What was I thinking? Why did I let another person hurt me?

  I need to do something, anything to get rid of this pain. I decide to go get my tattoo, that I have been putting off. I hope that the pain of getting one, will relieve what I'm feeling. I always go to "Dancing Devil Demographics" and Matt is usually the one to ink me.

  The shop is only twenty minutes away and I decide to take the chance of going without an appointment. Once I see the shop, I pull in and park. I walk in and hear the bell ring above the door. Matt walks out the office and smiles over at me.

  "Hey Jay. How the hell are you?"

  "I've been better. You got time to do my tattoo, today?"

  "Sorry. I have an appointment coming in any minute. But I got my other guy here, he can do it for you. I have it all drawn up already."

  "Is he good?"

  "Of course, he wouldn't be here if he wasn't."

  He smiles back at me, "Sure, I don't want to wait until next week."

  "I'll go get him, give me a sec."

  I turn to look at some of the new artwork on the wall. Matt has a great shop, where local artists can sell there work. He has anything from artwork, jewelry, crocheting, clothing and local authors.

  "Jay this is Nico," Matt says to me.

  I turn to see my Nico standing there. He crosses his arm over his chest and smiles at me.

  "What the fuck are you doing here?" I ask him.

  "I work here. What about you?"

  "I take you guys know each other?" Matt asks.

  Nico turns to Matt and nods his head, "Yeah, you could say that."

  I stand there staring at him, wondering why I ever stopped seeing him. He is more like what I'm use to. He looks so fucking hot standing there smirking at me.

  "Come on Jaylah, let's get started."

  He waves me to follow him and I do. I watch his ass in front of me and I itch to touch it. This is turning out to be a great idea, to stop thinking about Trevan and that bitch. We walk into his room, which has the chair in the middle, with all his equipment off to the side. He has a computer on his desk, and he turns on some music.

  He has two chairs against the wall, with two end tables, covered in magazines. I assume it's for when you bring friends. I walk up next to him and he turns to look at me.

  "Matt gave me your design, is this what you want?"

  I look down to see the design, Matt and I talked about. It's sheet music in a thin strip, which is wavy, as if in the wind. It has several butterflies flying around it. I want to put in on the back of my neck.

  "Yeah that's it. I want it on the back of my neck."

  I rub my hand up his arm, and look into his eyes.

  "What are you doing, Jaylah?"

  "I've missed you."

  He shakes his head at me.

  When Matt asked me to ink one of his friends, I never imagined who it would be. Jaylah turned around and I almost laughed. This shit can't be happening to me. I haven't seen her in a long time, and I was trying to forget about her. The last time we were together it didn't seem to end well.

  I like her and more than just a little. I wanted to take the next step with her and that doesn't come easy for me. Most woman want one thing and I have hurt my share of them, as well as they hurt me.

  Then there was Elizabeth. I lost her five years ago, in that fatal car accident. We were driving home after partying at the bar. It was a big gig for our band and she came to watch. I had a few to many drinks, so she drove. A deer came out in front of the car and she hit it head on. She lost control of the car and we ended in the ditch. She would have been fine, but she wasn't wearing her seat belt and she went through the windshield.

  So when I hadn't seen or heard from Jaylah, I decided to try and move on.

  I get my share of woman, but I still couldn't shake Jaylah from my thoughts. And now she had to walk right back in.

  Once we get into my room, she stands next to me. When she puts her hand on my arm, and looks me in the eyes. I want to grab her and make her remember what she left behind. I'm drawn to her and I don't know why. She is like a drug, I can't shake.

  So when she says she's missed me, I let my guard down again. I grab her by both of her arms and crush my lips into hers. She parts her lips slightly and I invade her mouth. I wrap my arms around her and I dig my fingers into her hair. With her hair in my fist, I pull her head away from me. We are both breathless and staring into each other eyes.

  "Let's get your tattoo done, then we can finish this later."

  "Sounds good to me."

  I get her in the chair and get her ready. I shave the back of her neck and place the tattoo where she wants it. I put the mirror up so she can see where I've placed it.

  "I like it," she's looking back at me through the big mirror.

  "Okay, let's get started."

  She lays in the chair and I get started on it. She barely makes any noise as I put the needle to her skin. She actually seems to relax, the more I ink her skin. I can tell this is helping her deal with something. We don't talk much, so I turn up the music. It helps me get in the zone and I do better tattoo's.

  After an hour, I sit back in my chair and look to see what I have done. I wipe it off, liking how it turned out.

  "We are done."

  "Already? Wow that was fast."

  She walks up t
o the big mirror and I hand her the small one. She looks at it and I watch as her smile gets bigger.

  "I fucking love it, Nico!"

  She closes the space between us and throws her arms around me. She kisses me hard and long on the lips. I hear someone walk in.

  I look up to see Matt, with a huge shit eating grin on his face.

  "Well. I guess you two do know each other."

  "Yeah," I reply.

  Jaylah laughs and goes back to looking at her tattoo.

  "I came back to let you know, your last appointment called and cancelled. So you can go, man."

  "Thanks."

  Matt leaves, I can hear him laughing as he goes up front. I start cleaning up my station and Jaylah comes up behind me.

  "Hey come over tonight."

  I stand up and lean against my desk. I'm not sure what to think about all of this. I know I won't tell her no, I never will.

  "Okay."

  "Great. I'll go pay and wait for you."

  I watch her turn and walk out of my room. I run my hands over my face and through my hair. What the fuck, man. I don't want to argue with myself, so I hurry and finish cleaning up. I turn off the music and walk out front.

  I see Jaylah standing at the counter, talking to Matt. They are laughing and they both turn to look at me.

  "See ya tomorrow night, man." Matt says and winks at me.

  "Yeah see ya later."

  We walk out and Jaylah turns to me as soon as the door is closed.

  "Follow me home?"

  "Sure, I have my bike."

  I watch her get in her car, and I get on my bike. I start it up and always love the freedom I feel on it. As, I follow her I keep thinking about how stupid I am. The wind on my face, makes me feel better about the situation. It's nothing, I don't have to look into it more than a piece of ass. I need to stop thinking like a woman.

  We both pull into her driveway and I follow her up to her door. I grab her around the waist as she unlocks the door. As soon as we are in the door, I kick it shut behind me. She wraps her arms around me, and I start kissing her neck. I grab her by the ass and lift her. She wraps her legs around my waist and I walk us up the stairs.