Edge of Love

by E. L. Todd

  “Mike, how are things in New York?” Diane took a drink of her wine and looked at her son.

  Even though my brother lived in the same city as me for years, we never made the effort to see each other. We saw each other in a bar one time, but neither one us acknowledged the other. As far as I was concerned, Mike wasn’t my brother. Ryan was more of a brother than he ever was.

  Mike drank from his beer before he returned it to the table. “Good.”

  “What have you been doing?” My mom asked.

  “You know, the usual.” He smiled at his mom. “Hitting the gym, the office, hanging with my boys.”

  Diane nodded. “Do you spend a lot of time with Sean?”

  His smile faltered for a moment. “Yeah. We see each other all the time.”

  I nodded. “Yeah.” I felt Scarlet looking at me from the floor, but she didn’t speak up. I knew I would be questioned about this conversation later. I wasn’t looking forward to it. For the first time, I wanted to run away from Scarlet. I had no interest in speaking to her.

  My father leaned forward. “And how’s Wallstreet?”

  He shrugged. “It’s okay. It’s pretty much the same thing every day but different numbers.”

  “Why don’t you work for me?” his father asked. “The company belongs to you and Sean when I pass.”

  I took a drink of my wine then returned it to the table. “No. It belongs to Mike. I want nothing to do with the company.”

  Mike stared at me for a moment but he didn’t respond to my comment. I would love to be the CEO of a computer software company and be a millionaire, but if I had to work with Mike, talk to him on a daily basis, then forget it. I would rather have a simple life with Scarlet than deal with him all the time.

  My father stared at me but didn’t comment. He turned back to Mike. “What do you say?”

  Mike shook his head. “No. I like Wallstreet.”

  Diane sighed. “We have a million dollar company and neither of our sons want it.” She shook her head. “You two are odd.”

  Mike shrugged. “We’ll offer it to our children, and if they say no, then we’ll sell it and split it down the middle.”

  Andrew raised an eyebrow. “But you could make a lot more money just running the company.”

  I shook my head. “We don’t know anything about computers.”

  Mike nodded. “I can barely figure out my Mac.”

  “Well, I could teach you,” my father said. “I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Let’s save this business talk for another night.”

  My mom looked at him. “What would you rather discuss? How about Penelope?”

  I rolled my eyes again. My mom was like a treasure hunter. She wouldn’t stop until she found what she wanted. “Drop it.”

  I could tell how annoyed my mom was by my resistance. “Why won’t you just tell us, Sean? We’re your family. We aren’t going to judge you. Did she break up with you?”

  Mike smiled at me. “Yeah. What happened, Sean?”

  I wanted to punch my brother in the face. He already knew what happened because Christian, the man Penelope cheated on me with, worked with him. He was just trying to cause me problems. He was stirring the pot.

  My mom continued her assault. “You tell your brother everything and he doesn’t know? Come on, Sean. Spill it.”

  I set my glass down and rose to my feet.

  My dad already knew what I was going to say. He sighed. “Dear, look what you did.”

  I ignored his comment. “Scarlet and I are tired from our trip this afternoon. We’re going to bed.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet.

  My mom sighed. “You don’t have to leave.”

  I held Scarlet’s hand within my own and pulled her across the living room, heading to the grand staircase in the other room. “Goodnight.”

  It was already late here in Connecticut, but it was only nine in our time zone. Neither one of us were tired, but I wanted to get away from my family. I never had such a bad family trip and I just needed to get away. I felt like I couldn’t escape, however. When we got back to our room, I knew Scarlet would start arguing with me. Still, it was the lesser of two evils.

  As soon as we walked into our bedroom, she started the assault.

  “Sean, I’m sorry, but let me explain myself.”

  I grabbed a sweater from my bag and threw it on. I held up a hand to her then glared at her. “Just shut up, Scarlet.”

  Her eyes lit up in flames. I could tell how angry she was. “Sean, don’t be a fucking asshole and just listen to me. When I turned around—”

  “Save it.”

  “Sean—”

  “I asked you to do one thing. One fucking thing. And you couldn’t even do that?” I walked toward the door and placed my hand on the doorknob.

  “Where the hell are you going?”

  “I’m getting away from you.”

  She grabbed my arm and pulled me toward her. I yanked my arm away and stared her down. I was furious with her. I had never been angrier. It was a situation that could have been avoided easily. I made one simple request and she couldn’t honor it.

  “Stop being an asshole and just listen to me.”

  “No.”

  “Sean, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

  “It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t happen again. It shouldn’t have happened at all.” I turned back toward the door.

  “You can’t just walk away every time we fight. Marriages don’t work like that.”

  “Well, thank god we aren’t married.”

  She slapped me across the face. The collision of her palm against my cheek stung, and I felt my anger increase tenfold. She was lucky that I refused to hit women.

  “Don’t ever talk to me like that.” Her eyes softened in pain. I knew her reaction stemmed from the fact that I removed her ring. She was afraid I was going to leave her again. That just pissed me off even more. I admit that I fucked up before, but I had proven myself to her already. She could trust me. Right now, she wasn’t the trustworthy one.

  “Fuck you, Scarlet.”

  “Do you want me to slap you again?”

  I knew she wasn’t bluffing. “I’m leaving. Don’t follow me.”

  “Well, I’m going to. Where you go, I go.”

  I marched to her and grabbed her by both arms. “Stay in this room. If you want to make up for your earlier behavior, then do as I ask. Don’t leave this room.”

  She twisted her arms away. “I’m not a dog.”

  “I mean it, Scarlet.”

  “Sean, please let me come. I won’t speak. I promise. Just let me be with you.”

  “Then why do you want to come at all?”

  “Just to be with you. Please.”

  I stared at her. “The only reason why I’m agreeing to this is because you said you would keep your mouth shut.”

  She nodded.

  I opened the door and marched down the hallway. When I reached the end of the stairs, I took a different route through the house and slipped out a different door. Scarlet trailed behind me the entire time. When we were outside, I walked toward the beach in the darkness. Scarlet stayed a few feet behind me. I heard the ocean before I saw it. The crash of the waves echoed in my ears. I found a place in the sand and sat down. I stared out to sea and watched the whitecaps beat the shore. They were the only visible images of the ocean. Birds cried overhead but I couldn’t see them. Scarlet sat next to me, a few inches farther away than she normally would. I didn’t look at her. I just stared at the ocean and tried to clear my thoughts.

  Minutes passed in silence. I waited for Scarlet to say something, but she kept her word and never did. I decided to take advantage of the situation and tell her exactly what I felt without having to deal with her response. Well, if she kept her word to remain silent, that is.

  “You really pissed me off, Scarlet.”

  She hugged her knees to her chest but didn’t speak. She didn’t
look at me.

  “I asked you to do one thing but you couldn’t honor that request. And I was right, wasn’t I?”

  She sat still.

  “I don’t want you near my brother without my presence. He’s a sick bastard that you need to stay away from. Did you really need to experience an incident to believe me? I admit that I get jealous and possessive with you, but that’s a little outlandish, even for me. One of your best friends is a guy and I’ve never questioned it.”

  She ran her fingers through her hair then rested them on her knees.

  I shook my head. “I’m just livid with you, Scar. And don’t misunderstand me. I’m pissed at my brother too, but I expected this behavior from him. And I expected you to listen to me.”

  She kept her mouth shut like I asked. I was surprised she was holding her tongue. I felt like I was grilling her and she was forced to take it passively.

  “I apologize on behalf of my family. My brother is an ass and my mom is a bitch. Believe me, this isn’t how I wanted to spend the weekend. I wanted this to be about our engagement, not about my breakup with Penelope. I apologize, Scar. I should have told them beforehand.” I grabbed a rock from the sand and rubbed it between my fingers. “I’m just so irritated with them. I had to get away. Then your betrayal just pushed me over the edge. I swear to god, if I wasn’t related to my brother I would’ve killed him. Seeing him grab you just makes me insane.”

  She glanced at me then looked away.

  I could tell that she wanted to say something. Against my better judgment, I looked at her. “You can speak if you want.”

  She looked at me. “Are you sure?”

  I nodded.

  She took a deep breath. “Sean, you’re right. I should have listened to you.” She moved closer to me and inserted her arm through mine. She leaned her head on my shoulder and her hair rubbed against my neck. She smelled like vanilla. “And I’m sorry I slapped you.”

  “I forgive you, Scar. I was being a jackass anyway.”

  She smiled. “I’m glad you realize that.”

  I laughed. “I’m not mad at you, Scar.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Because you just said you were.”

  I sighed. “I know what I said. I wished you had listened to me to begin with, but I’m not mad at you. You did nothing wrong.”

  “You don’t even know what happened, Sean. You didn’t give me a chance to explain anything.”

  “Because I don’t need to hear it. I already know what happened. Mike came onto you and said you shouldn’t be with me. He said you were beautiful and advised you to dump me. Then he tried to hug you and move closer to you. He tried to kiss you.”

  She looked at me. “How did you know that? Were you listening the entire time?”

  “No. Mike did the same thing with Penelope.”

  She was quiet for a moment. “What do you mean?”

  I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through my hair. “I never told you about it because I know you don’t like talking about her.”

  She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “I’m marrying you, Sean. She doesn’t threaten me in the least. You can talk about her all you want.”

  I nodded. “I’m glad you feel that way.”

  “Now tell me what happened.”

  I sighed. “Mike slept with Penelope.”

  She gasped. “What?”

  “She said she was drunk and I believed her at the time, but now I’m not so sure. I didn’t realize how much of a whore she was until recently.”

  She was speechless for a moment. “How could your brother do that to you?”

  I was quiet for a moment. I didn’t want to discuss this but I didn’t see any way around it. I had to tell her eventually. “Because I slept with his girlfriend when we started college. I apologized for it but he never forgave me. I was drunk and she was mad at him for something. She wanted to get back at him. Mike hasn’t let it go. He won’t stop until he gets his vengeance. He’ll sabotage every relationship I hold dear until he wins. I was never worried about Penelope because I knew she would never cheat on me. Obviously, I was wrong about her—completely.”

  Scarlet was quiet for a long time. “But if he slept with Penelope, didn’t he get his vengeance?”

  I shook my head. “Since I didn’t break up with her, it didn’t work.”

  She nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me, Sean?”

  “I just didn’t want to.”

  She pulled her arm from mine. “But we tell each other everything.”

  “I knew you wouldn’t let me forgive Penelope.”

  “Damn right I wouldn’t!” She stared at me. “Which is why you should have told me.” I heard the anger in her voice and I knew this was going to escalate into another fight. Perhaps I shouldn’t have let her speak.

  “And I didn’t want you to know what I did to my brother.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m embarrassed about it. I’ve never forgiven myself for what I did. I used to be a total jerk, Scar. After I met you, I started to change. Then when I met Penelope, I realized I was just a horrible pervert. I’m ashamed of my past.” We were quiet for a long time. I finally looked at her. “Are you mad at me?”

  She said nothing for a while. That was enough to answer my question. “A little. You shouldn’t have kept that from me, Sean.”

  I nodded. “I know.”

  “If you kept something that big from me, what else did you hide?”

  “Nothing,” I said quickly. “I’ve been honest with you about everything else.”

  “How can I ever be sure?”

  I closed my eyes. “It was just that one thing, Scar. I promise.”

  “And I’m offended that you’re comparing me to Penelope.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Yes, you are.” Her voice turned angry. “She burned you so now you don’t trust me. You don’t want me near your brother because you think I’ll sleep with him. That pisses me off, Sean. I realize that Penelope hurt you but I’m nothing like her. I would never betray you. Don’t ever treat me like her. I don’t deserve that. You’ve known me longer than Penelope. You should never have compared me.”

  I sighed. “I know you would never betray me, babe.”

  “Don’t lie to me. You obviously do if you wouldn’t let me near your brother. If you kept all of this from me, then you obviously don’t trust me. You’re being an asshole, giving me less than what I deserve.” She rose to her feet then started to walk away.

  I jumped to my feet and grabbed her arm, but she jerked it away.

  She glared at me. “We tell each other everything, Sean. When did that change?”

  I grabbed her face and kissed her, trying to calm her with my touch, but she pushed me away again. She turned around and walked back up to the house. After a few seconds, she disappeared from my sight, hiding in the shadows of the darkness. I listened to the sound of the waves crash against the shore and felt my heart accelerate in my chest. I never felt more alone.

  5

  When I came back into my old bedroom, Scarlet was already lying in bed. She was on her side facing the window. I stripped my clothes away then crawled into bed alongside her. I lied beside her for a moment and listened to her breathe. I could tell by the uneven rising and falling of her chest that she was awake.

  I turned on my side then moved closer to her. When I wrapped my arm around her waist, she didn’t push me away. I buried my face in her neck then kissed her gently, pressing my body against her. She didn’t respond to me, acting like she was asleep.

  I pressed my lips to her ear. “I love you.”

  She was quiet for a moment. “I love you too.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. I kissed her shoulder then moved to her neck, kissing her everywhere while I trailed my fingers across her body. Her breathing picked up as I touched her.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “I’m sorry too.”

  I continued to kiss her, reliev
ed that she didn’t hate me. I knew she was still mad, but at least she wasn’t livid with me. Pressing my naked chest against her body made me aroused. We made love every night and I couldn’t deny my expectation. My body automatically prepared for the rendezvous. I was hard before I even finished the thought. I ran my hands down her side, over her hip, and then down her smooth leg. I wanted her. I moved my hands to the area between her legs, and I smiled when I felt the moisture. She wanted me too.

  I turned her over while I climbed on top of her, ready to make love to her.

  She pressed her hand against my chest. “No, Sean. People will hear us.”

  I kissed the corner of her mouth then separated her lips with my tongue. She melted at my touch for a moment but then pulled away.

  I looked at her. “My parents’ bedroom is on the other side of the house. My brother is next door, but I couldn’t care less if he heard us.” I pressed my nose against hers and watched her eyes reflect the light of the moon. Her lips were slightly opened. She wanted me to kiss her again.

  “I’m still mad at you, Sean.”

  “So? I still make love to you when I’m pissed. It doesn’t change anything.” I grabbed her pajama bottoms and stripped them off. We never wore clothes to bed. I was surprised she even owned a pair of pajamas. I pulled down her underwear than separated her legs. Knowing that she was already wet for me made my heart pound. I moved my lips to her neck and started to kiss her. I pressed my cock against her clit, and she ran her fingers down my back. I knew I had her.

  She started to breathe heavily. “Stop.”

  “No.”

  She pushed me back. “I’m still pissed that you lied to me, and I’m livid that you would ever think I would do something like what Penelope did to you. You can’t just kiss me and turn me on to make it go away. I’m angry with you.” She looked up at me with ferocity in her eyes.

  I felt horrible about everything. A part of me was paranoid that she would sleep with my brother just like Penelope had, but the idea was so disturbing that I couldn’t even think. If Scarlet cheated on me then left me, I wouldn’t be able to go on. It would hurt way more than it ever did with Penelope. And I should have told her the truth about my past with my brother, but a part of me didn’t feel like I did anything wrong. My relationship with my brother was none of her business. It happened before I even knew her. It didn’t mean I wasn’t trustworthy. “You’re right,” I whispered. “I should have told you the truth. I was just being stupid.”