I laid under him for a moment as we both sought to catch our breath. When he finally rolled onto his back next to me, I started to get up. I knew this wasn’t a moment where we would crawl into bed and cuddle for the rest of the night.
I grabbed my panties off of the floor and stood to pull them back on. When I took a step to the door, I was surprised to feel Colt reach out and grab my arm.
“Stay,” he said without looking at me.
His request was not what I was expecting, but I didn’t have it in me to deny him. We’d all been through so much this last week, and if he needed a little bit of comfort tonight, then that’s what I would offer him.
I slipped out of my dress and bra, not caring about my nakedness in the moment, and crawled into the bed next to him and found it easy to fall asleep for the first time since Fitz died.
18
Colt
The sun shining through my blinds woke me up, and I was caught off guard when I realized I wasn’t alone. A memory of asking Ember to stay made me groan out loud. What the hell was I thinking? It was dumb to let her believe this was anything more than two people dealing with their grief. My life was complicated enough without blurring the lines between the two of us.
The moment I started kissing her last night, I knew it was a bad idea. But I couldn’t stop. For a little while, all the stress from Fitz’s death and the crap we were facing disappeared. But using her to fuck away my problems wouldn’t end well for her or me.
She must have sensed I was awake because she rolled over and stared at me. “Good morning.” Her voice was soft, and she almost seemed shy in the morning light—a vivid contrast from the woman who dropped down to her knees in front of me last night.
This morning was different than the time after our night together years ago. For starters, I didn’t haul ass out of bed this time, even though I probably should have. I also didn’t have an angry father threatening my balls if I ever got near his daughter again. Actually, that could still happen. Her father was gone, but she still had Ice and Viking, and pissing either of them off wasn’t at the top of my list of priorities. Regardless, I knew this was a fucked-up situation.
The way she was looking at me with those big green eyes wasn’t helping my raging case of morning wood, but I knew I couldn’t go there again. But the last time I’d had a woman stay the night because I’d both wanted and needed her to stay with me had been Jenna, and remembering that was a hard pill to swallow. It freaked me out just how good it felt to wake up next to someone that had a connection to you beyond sex. Most of the time, the next morning meant nothing, but the idea of waking up next to Ember wrapped around me was a very appealing thought—one that I wasn’t going to entertain beyond this point.
The sooner I got her out of my room, the better.
I sat on the edge of my bed, grabbing the jeans I’d tossed on the floor and pulled them on. Standing up, I walked over to my closet and grabbed a t-shirt and slipped it over my head. Getting dressed would keep me from throwing caution to the wind and burying myself in her sweet heat one more time.
Not returning her greeting must have been enough of a clue that we weren’t going to sit around and talk about what happened between us. Instead of saying anything else, Ember sat up and threw on her black dress. The piece of fabric served as a grim reminder of why we were in this situation in the first place.
Ember tried to maintain some semblance of modesty by tucking the sheet around her body as she slipped the dress over her head. Her efforts didn’t keep me from catching one more glimpse of the best set of tits I’d ever seen.
As soon as she was dressed, she left my room without sparing me another glance. Something that felt a lot like guilt settled over me. Ember didn’t deserve to be used, especially after everything she’d been through. But I wasn’t the one she should be seeking comfort from.
I grabbed my cut and walked out the door. Heading into the kitchen, I saw Viper and Wolf sitting at the table along with one of the prospects, TJ. No one else seemed to be around. I grabbed a mug from the counter, filled it with what was left in the coffee pot, and joined them.
“Well, that was an interesting turn of events last night,” Viper started in as I pulled my phone out to check my messages.
“What are you talking about?” I wasn’t trying to play dumb, but I didn’t feel like talking about what happened with anyone.
“Dude, are you really going to sit there and pretend like you didn’t drag that girl through the clubhouse and up to your room like a caveman?”
Viper laughed at me like I was an idiot. Wolf, however, just sat there and said nothing, lost in his own headspace.
“I thought it was weird that you claimed her so quickly, but damn you two were trying to burn down the place last night,” TJ interjected as he walked out of the kitchen to go work the front gate.
“Yeah, the noises coming from your room sounded like someone was having a real good time,” Viper added.
“I didn’t realize I was sitting down to breakfast with a couple of gossiping bitches,” I snapped, suddenly irritated and in no mood for them talking about Ember in that way. I knew it was irrational, but I couldn’t help it either.
Ember and I weren’t an item but I felt strangely protective of her... and me. Of us. Like I was taking this relationship seriously instead of a ploy, a directive by my president. I knew it was because we’d had sex last night, but nothing had changed in terms of what I wanted from the women I hooked up with. Nothing serious, always let them go. Last night was a mistake, even Ember knew that by the way she left me, but it made me wonder what it’d be like if we weren’t pretending. I shook my head, a useless thought since I didn’t want anything real with anyone.
“Don’t be a dick. We’re just giving you shit,” Viper said, giving me a funny look. “Truthfully, I was surprised it took you this long to seal the deal with her.”
I leveled him with a glare that said I wasn’t messing around. “We didn’t seal shit. We fucked, that’s it. It doesn’t change anything. I still don’t like her. I’ve got a job to do, that’s it.”
I regretted my words the second they left my mouth and felt like shit when I heard a small gasp behind me.
“Fuck,” I growled before pushing away from the table to go after Ember.
She was climbing the stairs as fast as her legs would take her.
“Hey, wait up,” I said as I bounded up the stairs behind her.
“Leave me alone, Colt.”
I managed to spin her around just before she reached her room. I knew she was pissed, but I wasn’t expecting to see tears filling her eyes. I dropped her arm as quickly as I grabbed her.
“I shouldn’t have said that.” I didn’t know what else to say. While I was conflicted about our night together, I didn’t want her to feel ashamed or embarrassed. And I’d only said that to get Viper off my back.
“No, you shouldn’t have,” she said, still angry. “I’m not stupid, Colt. Last night was just one of those things. Grief can make people do stupid shit. But did you have to embarrass me in front of Viper and Wolf?”
By this point, ‘asshole’ should have been my middle name.
“Ember…” She didn’t give me a chance to say anything else. Instead, she walked into her room and slammed the door in my face—the lock clicking into place a clear indication she wanted nothing more to do with me. I couldn’t blame her.
“Nice one, dickhead.”
I pushed past Viper on my way out. I didn’t have time for his bullshit. I needed to find a way to repair the damage I’d done this morning. Ember and I pretending to be in a relationship was a vital part of figuring out what was going on with Torch. I couldn’t let this fuck that up, but letting my guard down around her wasn’t going to be easy because I could actually see us together. Seven years ago had been the start of it. At some point, there would have to be an end.
But I didn’t have time to deal with everything right now. I was picking up Jett and Jasmine, and we
were going to spend the day at my dad’s place. I jumped in my truck and drove off. I would figure out how to handle shit with Ember later. For now, I wasn’t going to let anything affect my time with my kids.
At least that was the plan until I saw Jenna standing on the porch with her arms crossed over her fake chest. A guy couldn’t catch a break. One pissed off female was more than enough; I didn’t have the energy to deal with another one.
“When were you going to tell me about your girlfriend?”
Damn, word traveled fast. I shouldn’t have been too surprised. Jenna acted like the club was beneath her now, but she still kept in contact with a few of the girls that partied with us. I believed that was more to keep tabs on me than anything else.
“Good morning to you, too, Jenna.”
“Cut the shit, Colt. Who the hell is she?”
Knowing I needed to answer her question so I could get my kids and get out of here, I took a deep breath and started to explain. I wanted to tell her the truth so she would back off, but if she found out my relationship with Ember wasn’t real, then she would go spreading that shit around, and we couldn’t risk that.
“Her name’s Ember. We’ve been seeing each other for a little bit. Happy?”
“Not even close. I want to meet her.”
“Not a fucking chance.” I scoffed at the absurdity of Jenna thinking she could demand anything from me.
“You wanted to sit down and talk with Jason when I was moving in with him. I want the same thing.”
She had me there. When I found out she was going to move my kids into a house with a man I didn’t know anything about, I demanded to have a conversation with him. The situation with Ember wasn’t the same thing, but Jenna didn’t know that. “It’s not that serious, but I’ll see what I can do.”
“What the fuck do you mean it’s not that serious? I heard you gave her my property patch.”
“I gave her my patch. It was no longer yours the minute you decided to let another guy stick their dick in you.”
“Fuck you!” she shouted.
This seemed to be the way every conversation with her played out and I was done. “You’re not going to stand out here and bitch at me about who I may or may not be with. You’re my ex for a reason. The only topics we need to discuss are ones regarding the two kids that are waiting inside for their dad to take them out for the day. We’re done discussing this. Now go inside and let them know I’m here.”
She didn’t seem pleased with my little lecture, but she turned around anyway and called for Jett and Jasmine. Two tiny tornadoes came flying down the stairs; I wish I possessed even an ounce of their energy. Seeing their excitement over us spending time together filled me with pride.
It took a few minutes to get them buckled up, but soon we were on our way to my dad’s place out by Lake Mead. I looked at the two of them sitting in the backseat and couldn’t help but smile. I may act like an asshole to everyone else, but these two kids had me wrapped around their little fingers.
19
Ember
Fuck Colt! I knew this morning was going to be awkward, that’s why I tried to leave last night. But when he asked me to stay, I could see the pain in his eyes. He was hurting with the loss of his brother, and I couldn’t leave him like that. Maybe a part of me hoped it meant things were getting better between us. But, when I heard him downstairs, I realized I’d been the convenient option. It didn’t mean anything. Deep down, I knew that, but I’d at least hoped for a truce of some kind. Instead, this whole arrangement was going to be hellish and not much better for my mental state than my relationship with Torch.
I was tempted to stay in my room for the rest of the day, but I still had some loose ends to tie up with Torch. The thought of being alone with him sent chills down my spine, but I had to do it.
Hoping like hell Colt already left for work, I made my way downstairs for the second time this morning. Lucky for me, it appeared most of the guys were either in their rooms or out for the day. A few minutes later, I heard a couple of voices in the hallway, one I recognized as belonging to the man I was waiting for.
Stone and Torch both stopped when they saw me sitting alone at the bar. “Hey, Ember. We’re heading out. You sure you want to stay?”
I appreciated Stone’s concern for me, and I was glad my brother had some good men he could rely on even if his VP was a total scumbag.
“I’m sure.” I offered him a smile to let him know I was good. “Torch, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Go wait outside. I’ll catch up in a minute,” he instructed Stone, and then moved toward me.
Having him in my space made my fight or flight instincts kick in, but I pushed them down and held myself steady.
“We were interrupted yesterday before you told me if we have a deal or not. I’ll get you as much information as I can if you promise me James will be safe.”
I’d never been a good liar, something my parents were grateful for when I was growing up, but I needed Torch to believe me now. If I could get him to agree, I would fill Viking and Colt in as soon as the guys were back on the road to Reno. With their help, I figured I could feed Torch tidbits of information to keep him off my back and from finding out Las Vegas was looking into him.
I could see the wheels spinning in Torch’s mind. I didn’t know what he was trying to accomplish, but it appeared he still needed my help since he hadn’t acted on his threats yet.
“I’ll give you one more chance, but that’s it. You fuck up again and I’ll make sure Ice and Phoebe pay for your mistakes.”
I swallowed hard. “You have my word,” I promised while praying I could pull this off.
“You have three days to get me something useful.” He ended our conversation and walked out the door.
Relief coursed through my veins as the first part of my plan was set. Now I needed to work with Colt and Viking to make sure I could give Torch something soon that would fulfill his demands.
I’d filled Viking in earlier about my deal with Torch and he said the two of us and Colt would sit down tomorrow and hammer out the details of what I should tell Torch. It was now just after nine, and I was still downstairs talking to a couple of the guys when the front door to the clubhouse opened, and Colt walked in. I didn’t know where he’d been all day, nor did I care. I was still pissed about what I’d overheard this morning.
Not sure if I would smack him or burst into tears if I was forced to be in the same room, I grabbed my water bottle, said goodnight to everyone, and started heading toward my room.
“Got a second?” Colt asked as I brushed past him near the stairs.
It looked like I wasn’t going to escape so easily when he grabbed my upper arm. It wasn’t tight, but it was firm, so I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess.”
He let go and led me out the back door to the large patio. I sat down as far from him as I could. It may have been childish, but I didn’t care.
“I need a favor.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. There was no lead-up, no apology for acting like a jerk earlier, he just jumped in and asked me to do something for him.
“You are unbelievable, but why am I surprised you expect everyone else to work around your issues?” The words just popped out, but I didn’t regret them. To Colt’s credit, he took it and didn’t disagree. I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest. “Go ahead, Colt. Please tell me what I can do for you.” It was impossible to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.
“You’re still mad about this morning, aren't you?”
I rolled my eyes. “You think?”
Judging by the way he was running his hands through his hair and refusing to look at me, it was clear my attitude was annoying him.
“Look, I’m sorry if you’re mad. I didn’t mean for you to hear any of that shit. But the truth is I should never have let things between us go that far.”
That was a shitty apology if I ever heard one. He wasn’t sorry for his words or actions, only that I’d ov
erheard him. And he didn’t even acknowledge the part that hurt the most. He told the others he didn’t like me. He was their VP, and his opinion held a lot of weight. I also couldn’t forget this was the second time he treated me like crap after sleeping with me.
“For the time being, I have to live here and you just treated me like Torch used to by talking shit about me. You know how long it took before I gathered enough courage to come back down here today and face any of them?”
He let out a heavy sigh and scrubbed his hand over his face. “You’re right, that was fucked up.”
That was better. It still wasn’t an apology, but from Colt, it was probably the best I would get. I let the silence fall between us for a bit longer just so he got the point that I still didn’t care for his behavior. I could be a bitch and not help him, but I couldn’t keep from asking, “Now, what’s this favor you need?"
He looked relieved we were moving on. “Earlier today, when I took off, it was to spend the day with my kids—Jett and Jasmine.”
What? His revelation completely floored me. But clearly, my attempt at avoiding anything Colt-related over the years had been effective.
“I can tell by the look on your face, you’re surprised.” He chuckled.
I nodded my head.
“Yeah. There are a lot of things you don’t know about me. I don’t talk about personal stuff to many.”
That was true. It seemed some things about Colt hadn’t changed from when he was twenty-four to thirty-one. When we’d hooked up seven years ago, he’d done everything to avoid talking about himself, and it didn’t appear to have anything to do with humility or shyness. There was a time I would have given anything to get to know him. Knowing how he felt about me now, I didn’t expect I would ever get that opportunity.
Colt (Desert Sinners MC Book 2) Page 12
