Fortunate Son

by Jay Crownover

  I was telling her the truth. I would never be too tired for her. When I was close enough to touch her, it felt like my entire body was electrified. There was something inside me that came alive when I was with her, and it didn’t matter how sore or how exhausted I felt; she brought out a whole different kind of energy in me.

  I moaned when I felt her body clench around mine, and I leaned forward a little bit so I could drag my tongue up the side of her throat. Her skin was a touch salty, but there was no way to hide how sweet she was. I doubted I would ever get tired of the way she tasted and how amazing she felt when she was all wrapped around me. It was like everything I thought was missing from my life was finally within my grasp when she was around. All those blank spaces that I was filling up with other people’s expectations of me were now filling with bits and pieces of the man I always wanted to be. My future was finally starting to look like something I recognized rather than a foggy idea that belonged to someone else.

  Bowe lifted her head and looked me in the eyes. Her bottom lip was swollen and damp from where I’d had it in my mouth earlier, and her amber eyes were obviously out of focus. Her cheeks were a pretty pink, and there were purple strands of hair sticking to her damp skin. She looked good when she was in the throes of passion. I especially liked that I was the only one who got to see her this way. It was a new secret we shared. One that was just as personal and decadent as the first one.

  She fell forward until our lips touched, and I felt the press of her hard nipples against my chest. They were still wet from being in my mouth, and there was a cute little love bite next to one of the rosy points. She didn’t mind when I was a bit rough. I had long scratch marks across my lower back and a bruise from a sucking kiss on the inside of one thigh. There was no one like her, and I knew if I was ever forced to give her up, it would be the hardest challenge I ever faced. The fact she gave me a chance to prove I wouldn’t do her dirty again made me the luckiest bastard alive. I owed my folks a heap of gratitude for keeping our families close all these years. I couldn’t imagine where or who I’d be if I missed out on knowing her for a lifetime.

  I pulled her closer as her rocking motion picked up speed and her body fluttered eagerly around mine. She was wet and hot, making my cock throb with a pleasure that bordered on pain deep within her. I slid my hand around to her back and held her still so I could thrust up into her as she devoured my mouth with ravenous, biting kisses.

  I grunted in satisfaction as I felt her body release a flood of pleasure, and I continued to arch up into her. She moved her mouth across my cheek, down the side of my neck, and along the curve of my shoulder. The skin was still an array of ugly colors and bruised to high hell. It was still a touch stiff, especially after practice or a few hours in the weight room, but it wasn’t enough to slow me down. I thought it was cute how she wanted to be gentle with me and treat me like I was fragile when I got knocked around and run over daily by guys three times bigger than me.

  Her gentle care was enough to have both my roommates bemoaning that they were single, not that either was ready to settle down with one girl. Lucas was a bit of a ladies’ man, and Dino was the kind of kid who could only focus on one important thing at a time, and right now, it was all about football and making it to the NFL.

  She kissed her way across the darker spots on my skin, sinking her teeth into a spot that was unmarred when her body finally broke apart over mine. Her orgasm, and the sting of her teeth buried in my flesh, pulled my completion from me a moment later. The sounds I made were probably loud enough that everyone in the condo knew what we were up to, but for once, Bowe didn’t shush me or act like she was embarrassed. She just watched me with heavy-lidded eyes as I rolled her off of me and laid her out on the other side of the bed so I could take care of the clean-up.

  When I came back into the bedroom, she was wearing one of my t-shirts and scrolling through her phone. She was tugging on her bottom lip when I climbed back into the bed, and I threw the sheet over my lower half instead of bothering to get dressed. I was going to have to crawl into a shower before crashing for the night. If I was lucky, I could talk her into joining me. More often than not, I fell asleep while she was tinkering on her laptop or playing with her guitar, and I woke up alone in my bed. When I asked her why she didn’t stick around until morning, she always said she was inspired and wanted to get something recorded before losing her enthusiasm. As far as I could tell, she was always creating something, always thinking of a song or lyrics. Her brain was busy, but she seemed genuinely excited about whatever it was she was writing and playing these days, so I tried not to give her a hard time about being a girl who came and went as she pleased.

  I reached out a hand and pulled her fingers away from her poor tortured lip. I brought her hand to my lips and placed a little kiss on the digits.

  “Why do you suddenly look so concerned?” The way she was staring at her phone and her body language told me she was worried about something. It was the opposite of how I wanted her to look after we’d just had some seriously incredible sex, and when we only managed to squeak out a few hours together after several days of missing one another.

  She used her index finger to trace the bridge of my nose and to boop it on the tip. The way she touched me, the way we interacted, was totally different now that all our history was laid bare in front of us. Instead of ignoring all the problems and complications that used to terrify me, we faced them head-on. There was no place to hide anymore, and that changed the way we treated each other. We were forced to find kindness for each other when the option to run away was no longer on the table.

  She gave me a crooked smile and waved her phone in her other hand. “Your cousin texted me a little while ago. I don’t know how she still has so many contacts in a city she hasn’t lived in for years, but she knows someone who owns a bar that has live entertainment. She wants me to go audition for them.”

  I leaned back against the headboard and watched her carefully. “Are you ready for that?” She was kind of cagey and evasive when I asked her what her plans were going forward. I knew she didn’t want to think too much about what would happen when the summer was over and we once again had to face being two people with very different lives in very different cities. But I also wondered if she was hesitating because she was scared to commit to moving forward on her own without a band to back her. She always seemed so fearless and sure of herself, knowing exactly what it was she was supposed to be doing with her time and her talent.

  She blew out a breath and pushed her hair over one shoulder. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye as she shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I mean, I have the songs, and I can play them, but I’ve never performed alone before. If I fail again after going out solo, it means I have to face the facts that I’m not meant to be in the music industry. I’m not sure I’m ready to deal with the reality of that.” She gave her head a little shake and sighed again. “Failing at the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do,” she blinked hard, and I knew she was trying to control tears. “It’s a terrifying thought.”

  I shifted closer so I could throw an arm around her shoulders and pull her into my side. She curled up next to me as I rested my chin on the top of her head. There was enough tension in her body that I knew she wasn’t kidding about being terrified.

  “Isn’t this the kind of situation where you have to try before you know if you’ll succeed or not? You can worry about what will happen all day long, but until you jump in, it’s all speculation. If you don’t put yourself out there, you fail in another way, and you’re still giving up the thing that matters most.”

  She pulled away and tilted her head back to look at me through narrowed eyes. “It kind of bugs me that your brain is as big as the rest of you.”

  I chuckled and squeezed her tighter. “No one ever said chasing after your dreams was going to be easy. Putting yourself out there, baring your soul through your songs, you didn’t pick an easy route to happiness, did you, Bowe?”

/>   She hummed a small sound of agreement and reached up to lace our fingers together. “I guess not. But neither did you. I had no idea how much work you had to put in to play what’s supposed to be a game. I mean, I vaguely know that sports take a lot of endurance and stamina, but you work yourself to the bone, and you’re constantly showing up with new bumps and bruises. I don’t know how you juggle your responsibility to the team and your education. I can’t believe you had a social life on top of all of that.”

  It was my turn to shrug. “It wasn’t much of one.” Unlike the last few weeks with her, neither Aston nor I made it a priority to fit each other into our lives. We saw each other when it was convenient, but we never made spending time together a priority. That should’ve been the first red flag. Instead, I let a whole brigade of them pass me by so I didn’t have to face my own shortcomings.

  Bowe rubbed her thumb across the back of my hand. “I always thought you were perfect. The perfect brother. The perfect son. The perfect student and athlete. And obviously the perfect boyfriend. It bugged me how well you and Aston seemed to fit together. I told myself it was best to forget about you because you and she belonged together. I’m not going to lie; knowing that you kind of made each other miserable takes the sting out of you picking her over me. I like you a little bit more each time you prove to me just how flawed you are.”

  I let my head fall back so it rested against the headboard. My eyes were starting to get heavy, and the grind of the day was starting to hit me hard. I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to stay awake and remain coherent. I yawned and snuggled her closer.

  “You’ll fall in love with me in no time, then. I’m a huge fucking mess, and I’m only just starting to realize it. The only thing close to perfect about me is my rushing average.” And truthfully, there was always room for improvement there, as well.

  She gave me a look that told me she wasn’t exactly sure what I was talking about, but she grinned at me anyway. “I don’t know about that, Archer. Your face is pretty darn close to perfect.” She didn’t deny that she might fall in love with me any minute, which made my heart do somersaults in my chest.

  I didn’t doubt that I was going to be the one who fell first. I’d been well on my way since the first time I realized the way she made me feel was different than anyone else.

  I’d heard that my face was perfect before, but it meant more coming from her. “You think so?”

  She nodded just slightly. “I do, but that’s not the reason I’m attracted to you. The advice you give me, the way you support what I want to do, even if you know I’m going about it the wrong way, I think that’s pretty perfect as well. No one else could tell that my songs weren’t being played the right way. No one else picked up on the fact I changed them when I didn’t really want to. I like the way you see the things I can’t. And I like the way you show them to me.” She reached up a hand so she could tap my temple. “Your big brain is beautiful, and so is your big heart.”

  I yawned again and caught her hand so I could hold her palm to my cheek. “I’m glad you think so. I only use my big brain to overthink every little thing, which gets me in trouble and ends up hurting the people around me. As for my big heart, it’s only that way because it’s been full of you for a long time. I think you need to get your feet wet and go to the audition. You’ll probably only have to play for a few people, not a whole crowd. Plus, you said they’re friends with Remy, so they’re already going to be rooting for you. If you can make it through and they like you, that’s the first step. If it doesn’t feel right, you’ll know.”

  She patted my cheek and used her thumb to caress my lower lip. “You look like you’re ready to pass out. Are you ready to go to bed?”

  “I need to take a shower first.” I had used the one in the locker room to rinse off before heading out to dinner with her, but I needed an actual scrub down after rolling around in bed. “Want to join me?”

  I could see her considering it. Since I technically owned the condo, my room was the only one that had an attached bathroom. She wouldn’t have to chance an awkward encounter with one of my roommates if she agreed.

  “If I join you, you’re going to be awake even longer. It’d be more than a simple scrub down, and you look like you can barely keep your eyes open.”

  I struggled to lift heavy eyelids. “I said I was never too tired for you. Shower sex is a different story.” I wasn’t going to risk taking her down to the ground with me or reinjuring my shoulder. I slithered down the bed, taking her with me. “I might be too tired for a real shower after all.”

  Bowe reached down to pull the sheet up over me and shifted so she could rest her head on my shoulder. “Set your alarm for earlier and take one in the morning.”

  I grunted a tired agreement and tightened my arms around her. “Will you stay so we can revisit the shower together in the morning?” It wasn’t exactly fair to ask her since I would be dead to the world, and she would spend the night wide awake. But I wanted to hold her and wake up to her whenever I got the chance. “I won’t ask all the time, Bowe. Just every now and then.”

  She was quiet for long enough that I started to drift off. I almost missed her softly spoken, “I’ll stay. I won’t always, but every now and then… I will.” That was more than I expected and way more than enough to keep me happy.

  Bowe

  I WAS NERVOUS.

  More nervous than I had been before I got on stage to open for a well-known artist. More nervous than I was when I told the band I didn’t want to play with them anymore. More nervous than I was before my first talent show in high school. More nervous than I was when I told my mother I didn’t want to stay in college. And more nervous than I was before the first time I hooked up with Ry and the second time I decided to let him have a shot at winning me over.

  I couldn’t believe those butterflies I was chasing were now having a dance party in my belly. I kept having to wipe my sweaty palms on the back pockets of my shorts, and it took every ounce of willpower I possessed not to fidget nervously as I answered the questions Remy’s friend asked me. The owner of the bar was younger than I expected, around Remy’s age, but she seemed to know her stuff when it came to the local music scene. I was relieved she didn’t ask me about my previous band or my dad. It took some of the pressure off. All she wanted to know was what kind of music I liked to play and what inspired me. She had the same quirky, carefree aura as Remy. It was easy to see why they were friends. She was doing her best to put me at ease, but there was no way I was going to chill out. She had no idea how much was riding on this simple audition for me. She had no clue I was at a major turning point in my life, and if I didn’t make it through today, I was going to have to seriously reassess everything I thought I knew about myself and my plans for the future. And that would really, really suck.

  “Go ahead and sit on the stage. The room usually holds around two-hundred people on a busy night. Not too big, but not too small either. It’s a great place to try out new stuff in front of a pretty openminded crowd. I try to have live music at least three times a week, sometimes more during the summer. I usually have two different musicians each night, and I prefer they have completely different sounds. I like variety, and I have eclectic taste. I bring back the most popular acts several times a month. We have a reputation for being the launching point for some pretty big names in the indie music scene.” She sounded and looked proud of the fact.

  I rubbed my hands together anxiously and reached for my guitar case. “This place sounds amazing. It reminds me of some of the more popular venues in Austin. I’m not surprised Remy likes to hang out here when she’s in town.”

  The other woman’s eyes widened, and she shook her head quickly. “Oh, Remy doesn’t hang out here. I know her through her dad. I used to work at one of his bars when I was younger. I started out in the kitchen, and eventually worked my way up to managing the whole bar. When the previous owners of this place wanted to sell, Remy’s dad was already considering
buying it and turning it into a live music venue. I asked him if he would let me be his business partner because it was always my dream to have a place where I could help give underrated musicians a chance to play for an audience. My mom is a failed singer-songwriter, so it’s something I’m passionate about. I was lucky he took a chance on me and believed in me. In a couple more years, I’ll be able to pay him back fully and own this place outright. I’ve known Remy since she was a teenager and working on the weekends at her dad’s different businesses. She pops in to bartend for me every now and then when she’s in town or in search of a quick buck. We help each other out, no questions asked.” Which was exactly why I’d gotten this chance to play for her on such short notice.

  “Loyalty is one of the Archers’ strengths. If you’re good to one of them, the rest will take care of you for an eternity.” I took a deep breath and started toward the stairs to the small stage. It was cute and quaint. Like she said, it felt like a perfect fit.

  As I situated myself in front of the microphone, Remy’s friend, Suzy, positioned herself at a tall table. She had a tablet in front of her and was tapping on the screen, but I didn’t get the feeling that she was tuning me out. It was more likely she was loading a recording app or getting ready to take notes. It was pretty informal as auditions went, but I could tell she was very serious about picking and choosing who she let play at her bar.

  I closed my eyes briefly and let the familiar weight of the guitar in my hands settle some of my nerves. I’d always dreamed of being on stage. It didn’t matter what size the platform was; this was the place I always wanted to be. I hit the first few chords without opening my eyes. I let the music flow through me. Once the song started to take shape under my fingers, most of my anxiety started to slip away. There was no noise from other instruments crowding my words and the feelings buried in each lyric. The notes were clear and sharp; the song finally sounded the way I wanted it to, the way it was meant to from the start.