Fortunate Son

by Jay Crownover

  I wanted to tell her she was one of the main reasons that I opened my eyes. I wanted to let her know she was worth living for. I wanted to beg her not to leave me even if I would be a whole lot to handle in an entirely new way. I wanted to promise her that whatever happened in the future between us would be worth the struggle we were about to go through together.

  But more than any of that, I wanted to let her know I was in love with her and had been for as long as I could remember. I had to come back and let her know.

  She made a pained sound low in her throat and reached for my hand. She tenderly touched my fingertips and whispered, “Thank God we got more time to figure out how to be in love with one another. We’ve always been too early or too late, but this time, the clock stopped and let us catch up. I would never forgive you if you left me before I got the chance to tell you that I love you.” She stared down at me with a soft smile on her face. “I was on the verge since we were dumb kids, but thinking about what life would be like without you, I know for sure the way I feel about you isn’t something simple, or something that I’m ever going to be able to forget. You’ve always been my first love. I’m pretty sure you’re also going to be my last, Ry.”

  I was so mad that I couldn’t respond to her. I wanted to tell her she was going to be my one and only, and my first and last as well. I wanted to let her know the only place on my body that didn’t hurt like hell at the moment was my heart. Somehow, someway, she kept it safe while the rest of me went through the wringer. I hoped my eyes conveyed how much I was feeling and how grateful I was to be alive. I hoped she could see how much she meant to me.

  Glowing, warm gold that soothed me all the way to my soul was the last thing I remembered before I finally found an oblivion that didn’t feel like hell on earth. I could spend some time in this one because I knew who was waiting for me on the other side.

  Bowe

  The end of summer…

  “WE’RE FINALLY ALONE,” Ry breathed out the words on a relieved sigh as he stiffly moved to sit on the edge of the bed. It took up a good portion of the fancy hotel room he’d booked for us for the next few days.

  Summer was nearly over. The air in Colorado was starting to cool down, and I was officially heading back to Austin over the weekend. For the last eight weeks, Ry had been recuperating back at his parents’ house, so he didn’t want our last days together to be spent dodging his parents or roommates. He also mentioned he didn’t want to fight Remy for my attention during our last days together. He was mostly on the mend, had been able to move better, and was able to last longer without pain medication, so when he suggested staying at a hotel for a couple of nights, I relented, mostly to make him happy. I’d thought it was a frivolous waste of money. It wasn’t like he’d let the fact he was injured and living under his parents’ roof slow him down too much when it came to his sex life. We’d simply had to get creative and learn how to be really, really quiet. It was almost like when we snuck around as teenagers. Only, now that we were really alone together, and the reality of our limited time together had sunk in, I was glad I agreed to be here with him.

  I wasn’t looking forward to saying goodbye any more than he was. So much of my time and thoughts were consumed by him this summer; I wasn’t sure I was ready to jump back into real life. I was nervous about leaping back into the highly competitive and critical music scene back home after being so warmly embraced by the one in Denver. I’d spent the summer building a strong following, as well as my confidence, but it was time to take my show on the road and see if I really had what it took to make it as a solo artist. I had to face the people I’d let down and left behind to forge ahead on my own. I had to move beyond the fear of failure and letting my parents down. I wouldn’t feel like I’d accomplished either of those things until I tackled the music scene in my hometown.

  I followed Ry over to the bed. Instead of sitting down beside him, I gingerly straddled his lap, wrapping an arm carefully across his shoulders to keep my balance. He’d just recently gotten the cast off his ankle, and he insisted his ribs were starting to hurt less and less. He still had a weird brace that wrapped around his shoulders to help heal his clavicle. His separated shoulder remained taped up like a mummy, but overall, he was less black and blue and immobile than he’d been all summer. He was still looking at weeks of physical therapy and months of ongoing follow-ups with medical professionals, but if you just happened to glance at him, there was no way you’d be able to tell he was a guy who nearly died a few short weeks ago. However, if you noticed his stilted gait and the slow, deliberate way he moved, you also wouldn’t be able to tell he was a guy who once was likely to be a top-draft pick into the NFL.

  Ry looked so much better than he did when I first saw him lying in that hospital bed with wires and tubes coming out of every part of him, but there was no denying he wasn’t the same guy he was at the start of the summer.

  Not only was football off the table, but he’d also decided to skip the upcoming semester of school so he could focus on getting better and figuring out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. Now that the option of being a professional football player was gone, he really had to decide what he wanted to be when he grew up. I sympathized with the need to suddenly have to switch gears when you thought everything was running smoothly. All I could do was support whatever decision he made and promise to stand by him, the same way he stuck with me when I tossed a golden opportunity down the garbage disposal.

  We were young and resilient. This was the time in our lives when we were supposed to make mistakes and memories.

  I ran a hand down the side of Ry’s face and leaned into him as he wrapped his arm around my waist to hold me closer as I sat braced on top of him.

  “I’m kind of surprised your mom let you out of the house. She’s barely let you lift a finger while you’ve been there.” There was no question Ry was receiving the best medical care Denver had to offer. His mom had taken over his care almost as soon as he opened his eyes, and she didn’t stop even as he started to heal. She was being a bit overprotective, but Ry seemed to understand that she needed to hover after coming so close to losing him. So, he tolerated the babying and constant scrutiny for her sake.

  “She knows you’re getting ready to go back to Texas, and I needed to be able to say a proper goodbye without interruption or an audience. Plus, my dad told her it was something I was going to do whether she wanted me to or not. He reminded her I was moving back to my condo in a few weeks, so this would be a good trial run for her to get used to me being gone. I’m pretty sure she wanted to cover me in bubble wrap before I walked out the door, but she refrained and acted mostly normal.” He leaned his head forward so I could rest my chin on his soft hair. He let out a distressed sound and tightened his hold on me. “Honestly, Daire had a harder time when I left than my mom did. She cried. She begged me not to leave, and when I told her I had to go, she threw a fit and locked herself in her room. She’s always been dramatic, but this is extreme, even for her. I think my parents need to get her to get some professional help.”

  I turned my head so I could rub my cheek against his silky hair. “She watched you get run over and then watched as all those cars smashed into one another. She barely escaped with her own life, and she feels guilty for calling you to come to help her. That’s a lot to process for anyone. She may just need some time, but talking to someone who could help her process all of that wouldn’t hurt.”

  He grunted in response as he pulled back so he could look up at me with a frown. “We came here to get away from my family, and all we’ve done is talk about them. All their issues will still be here once you’re gone, so let’s not worry about anyone else but us right now. Are you sure you want Remy to drop you off at the airport instead of me? You know I’d love to take you.”

  I put my hands on either side of his ridiculously handsome face and lowered my head so I could drop a kiss on the hard line of his mouth. How he still looked so good while wearing such a grumpy exp
ression was a mystery.

  “If you take me, I’m not going to want to get on the plane. And I may cry, which I hate doing in public.” I sighed and kissed him again, but this time it was softer and held a hint of an apology. “I don’t think I’m strong enough to walk away from you again, Ry.” It was the main reason I asked Remy to drop me off.

  At first, I thought Remy would come to Austin with me, at least for a little while, but to everyone’s surprise, she decided to stay in Denver for the time being. It seemed like she also had some unfinished business she needed to take care of before she moved to wherever it was she was meant to be.

  Ry swore and twisted carefully so he could topple us back onto the mattress. Every move he made was more deliberate and slower than it used to be. It was weird treating him like he was fragile all summer long. It was also kind of romantic. Being sweet to him and having him be sweet back was a whole new dynamic between us. We had to learn how to be patient and cautious so he didn’t get hurt any more than he already was. We had to communicate and be honest about what worked and what didn’t, not to mention all the weeks right after the accident when all we could do was talk to one another because his body was literally up for nothing else. Fortunately, I learned that I really liked the guy Ry Archer was. While we might be different on the surface, we had traits common that made us who we were, and that made it easy to understand one another. I missed all those similarities when we were younger because I thought they were part of the role he was playing. I was relieved to learn that all the parts and pieces of him that I fell for back then ended up being the real deal.

  The accident accelerated our relationship and forced us to spend the necessary time to really get to know one another. So, I knew he really meant it when he told me quietly, “I’m not sure I’m strong enough to let you go again either.”

  “I love you like crazy, Archer.”

  He smiled down at me as his dark eyebrows winged upward. He always looked a little surprised when I said those words to him. I asked him once if he didn’t believe me when I told him I loved him because he still looked so shocked when I said it. He told me it wasn’t anything like that. Instead, he told me he felt the impact of my words all the way through his body, and he was still getting used to having such a visceral reaction. He didn’t need to remind me that I wasn’t the first girl to tell him I loved him. However, he never let me forget I was the first girl he wanted to hear it from, which is why he could never hide his reaction.

  “I love you back big time, Bowe.” His voice was raspy and filled with raw emotion.

  I didn’t doubt that he did. Not because he said it with such conviction, or because he was looking at me with his heart in those burning blue eyes, but because he was going to let me go and didn’t try to make me feel bad about it or talk me out of it. Instead, he encouraged me to keep walking the path I was on, even knowing it was taking me away from him. He assured me he understood we wouldn’t be apart forever and that we’d weathered time, distance, and even misunderstandings before and still managed to end up together. This was nothing we couldn’t survive as long as we stayed committed to each other and to being together for the long haul. He kept pushing me forward and never once tried to hold me back, and that was how I knew he really loved me.

  “I’m really going to miss you.” I could already feel the void of not being able to see and touch him whenever I wanted.

  Ry lowered himself from where he was partially braced above me since he still couldn’t put too much weight on his damaged shoulder. “Miss me later. Right now, let’s make the most of the time we have left.”

  What better way was there to say goodbye than by being as close as humanly possible and sharing all of what you had with someone you loved? Plus, who knew how long it would be before we were reunited? I wasn’t looking forward to going without something so good. He was right. We needed to get our fill of one another while we still had the chance.

  “All right. No more being melancholy.” It was the songwriter in me. I couldn’t help it. I reached up and put a hand on his good shoulder and pushed him onto his back. “But you need to let me do most of the work. I’m not going to send you back in worse condition than I got you. I’d never hear the end of it from your sister.” And I’d more than likely die of embarrassment.

  Ry made a face and shook his head. “Nope. I’m tired of letting you do all the work. We both have to put in the effort this time.”

  I got the distinct impression he was speaking about more than sex. The subtext was that we both had to put the effort into this relationship once we were apart, or it would fail.

  “All right. We can both do the work to get where we need to be; we just need to be careful.” I didn’t want either of us to be hurt when it was all said and done.

  “I can work with careful.” His confidence was always one of his most charming traits. He’d definitely managed to make careful work for the better part of the summer, so I had no doubts today would be any different.

  I kissed him quickly, then moved off the bed so I could help him strip down. It took a bit of time and a gentle touch these days to get him undressed. It was still a bit jarring to see his formerly perfect body now marred with various scars left over from the accident. He was still pretty with those imperfections, but it was a stark reminder of how close I’d come to losing him.

  Since he had to be on the bottom because he couldn’t hold up his own weight at the moment, once he was naked, he flopped on top of the big bed and situated himself dead center. He watched me pull off my clothes with bright, eager eyes and crooked a finger at me when I was in the same state of undress.

  “Come here.”

  It might be one of the few orders given to me I didn’t mind obeying. I got on the bed on all fours and crawled over him. When I was close enough to kiss him, I did so with every bit of passion and possession I had within me. I wanted him to feel how hard it would be for me to say goodbye to him. I wanted him to know without a doubt that leaving him was necessary, but it was the last thing I wanted to do.

  He kissed me back voraciously, tongue showing no mercy and teeth working to leave marks to remember him by. The kiss made my limbs feel weak and my head feel heavy. It made my nipples pull tight and my pussy start to get tingly and excited. I leaned closer so I could rub myself across his broad chest in search of some friction. I was just getting into a rhythm that made my nipples throb and caused moisture to gather between my legs when Ry shifted underneath me and quietly urged me to turn around.

  I was puzzled by what he meant until he pointed at his mouth and then mine. “We both gotta do the work. Remember?”

  I gulped and slowly shifted so I could situate myself over him. It was a touch unnerving to have all my most private parts directly in his face like this, but I refused to back down when I saw how this position made the impressive erection right in front of my face swell. I felt one of Ry’s hands land on my hip as he maneuvered me into place. His breath was warm between my legs, and the closer his face got to that hidden spot that was already wet and waiting, the harder the flesh beneath me seemed to get.

  At the first swipe of his tongue, I thought I was going to come out of my skin. I dropped my head to wrap my lips around his cock, and told myself not to let him get ahead of me. If I wanted to do this, I was determined to make it as good for him as he was already making it for me.

  It took a minute to find a pace that didn’t have me choking on his length every time his tongue probed my swollen, slick folds. It was hard to focus on pleasuring him when he was doing his best to drive me out of my mind. I felt him use his fingers to part my tender opening, giving him better access to my body. He drove his tongue as deep as he could, which had me ready to collapse on top of him in a heap of excited, quivering readiness. Instead, I put my all into taking him apart, using my mouth and my hands to caress every single, sensitive spot on his body.

  I swallowed him down, and he swirled his tongue. I reached between his legs as he used his finge
rs to find my clit. I toyed with the tiny little slit that was leaking salty fluid against my tongue. He fucked me with his face almost as well as he did with part of him that I was doing my best to shove halfway down my throat. Since I’d never done anything like this before, it was a bit awkward at first. Eventually, we figured out a back and forth that drove me out of my mind and had him writhing on the bed under me. My favorite part of being connected this way was that every time I did something he liked, he made a noise, and I felt it where his mouth was locked onto my center. And vice versa. The deeper he went, the more he tasted, and the harder he pressed on the most sensitive spot, the more I moaned and gasped around the cock filling my mouth. We were working together as a team to reach the same peak, in search of as much pleasure as we could find. The more he pushed, the more I pulled. It was the best kind of back and forth I’d ever been a part of.

  When I used my tongue to circle the arrowed tip and to trace along the underside where I could feel his body pulse in response, Ry finally broke free from devouring me and whispered, “If you don’t stop, I’m going to come.”

  I tightened my hand around the base and gave it a squeeze. “That’s okay. I’m really close too.” I wanted to come together, or as close as we could manage. I felt like this was the kind of moment we needed to find our farewell not nearly as devastating as it could be. It was rare to be in perfect sync with someone from start to finish, but that was the way Ry and I had been from the jump. We had a few beginnings and endings between us, but we still managed to find each other through everything.

  Ry put his mouth and hands back to work, and so did I. It didn’t take long for either of us to get to the point we couldn’t focus. I felt his body stiffen as his legs shifted restlessly. One of his hands wrapped desperately around my thigh, and his fingers dug into my skin deep enough I knew I was going to bruise. He moaned against my soaking wet center, and I felt the vibration all through my body. I moaned around his cock and felt the full, soft weight of his sac between his legs lift along with his hips. One of his hands landed on my ass with a solid smack, and the next instant, I had to turn my attention on swallowing so I didn’t choke. I wasn’t exactly prepared for the dual assault, or for Ry to pull back as he practically roared my name.