The life I want for me.
He’d said that to Jill earlier but wasn’t sure what that meant anymore. He hadn’t thought past just wanting to move to Blackwater Lake, Montana. He loved the mountains, lake, outdoors. It was a place where he’d been happy. This probation period the town put him through was unexpected. They had their reasons, and all of them were about Jill.
She was unexpected, too.
All this soul-searching, deep thought and questioning wasn’t like him. Maybe he was overtired. Being up all night to deliver a baby could do that. The high of bringing a new life into the world had worn off. Even after sleeping for a few hours today, he couldn’t seem to get it back. He couldn’t shake the feeling that accepting this dinner invitation had been a bad idea, that no good would come of it. Just like the last time.
But he had accepted and not showing up would undo all the positive steps he’d taken. It was dinner with Jill and C.J. He would leave right after eating. What could happen?
After knocking he’d expected to hear the sound of six-year-old running feet. He didn’t and was surprised when Jill answered.
“Hi. You’re right on time.”
“That happens when you don’t have to worry about traffic on the drive over.” He walked inside. “Where’s C.J.?”
“Finishing up his shower. He didn’t want to miss anything this time.”
Adam remembered in vivid detail what the kid had missed last time. Heat poured through him at the memories of his mouth on Jill’s, her soft body pressed against his. The feel of her in his arms was too perfect, but that was chemistry and physiology. Neither of those two things made the kiss right. He promised himself that there wouldn’t be anything to miss tonight. It was just dinner. C.J. would be there. They’d eat, and then he would plead fatigue and go home. He would spread goodwill by keeping his word. Mission accomplished. End of story.
“It’s cold out here.” Jill rubbed her arms. “Come on in.”
“Thanks.”
He walked past her and looked around. The inside wasn’t exactly as he remembered; Halloween decorations were everywhere. Fake webs hung on lamp shades, and picture frames had black plastic spiders stuck in them. Orange pumpkins of various sizes sat on flat surfaces throughout the living room. On Jill’s desk was a stand about a foot high with hanging wooden cutouts of orange and white triangular candy corn, a witch’s hat, ghosts and black bats.
“This looks very cool,” he said.
“C.J. did a lot of it. I think he likes Halloween almost better than Christmas.”
Adam could relate. But he didn’t remember his house looking like this. His mother was too busy working. Except that excuse didn’t quite cut it any more than he believed C.J. had done most of this. Jill worked, took classes online and was a single mom who found the time to decorate for a holiday.
Then he heard the sound of bare running feet slapping against the wooden floor just before the redheaded chaperone burst through the hall doorway.
“Hi, Dr. Adam.”
“Hey, champ.” He squatted down and the boy unexpectedly ran into his arms. The smell of freshly washed little boy slipped into a soft spot inside him. “You look clean.”
“I am.”
“Come on, you two. Dinner is ready.” Jill walked toward the kitchen and glanced over her shoulder as she talked. “It’s nothing fancy. Just homemade soup, salad and bread.”
Adam followed, unable to resist a chance to appreciate the Beck backside at its best in a snug pair of jeans. “You baked bread?”
“I have a bread maker and a mix. Not a big deal.”
“But it’s not store-bought?” he clarified.
“No,” she confirmed. “Soup is chicken and rice. C.J. and I like that when the weather turns cold.”
“Mommy makes the best,” her loyal son piped up.
“Sure smells good.” Felt good. Too good. He took the same seat as last time and realized this was the beginning of a habit.
Jill put a tureen and ladle on the table, then pulled a bowl filled with greens from the refrigerator. After that she assembled the sliced homemade bread and butter and proceeded to toss the salad. “I hope you like oil and red wine vinegar.”
“My favorite.”
“Not mine.” C.J. wrinkled his nose. “I don’t like salad.”
“Which is why you need to eat all the carrots in your soup.” She sat down and gave her son a “mom” look. “I expect you to put some vegetables in your bowl along with the chicken and rice.”
“Okay.” The guilty expression was a clue that they’d been through this before.
After the boy was finished ladling, Adam helped himself. “Looks good.”
“It’s not mashed potatoes and hot dogs.” Jill’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “But it’s filling.”
Adam ate a spoonful and nodded appreciatively. It was hot, tasty and just the thing for a snowy evening. They ate in silence for a few moments before he asked, “So, C.J., what are you going to be for Halloween?”
“Maybe a doctor.” He chewed on a carrot.
Jill looked uneasy as she warned, “That’s not a for-sure.”
A life lesson from mother to son, Adam thought. Never count on anything. Everyone learned it sooner or later. He’d gone into marriage thinking it would be forever and found out just how wrong he could be.
“Where do you go trick or treating?” he asked. “It’s pretty isolated out here. The next house is a long way down the road.”
Jill buttered a piece of bread. “I take C.J. into town and hit a few streets before the party at the town hall. The kids get the door-to-door experience in a safe environment.”
“I can’t imagine anything about Blackwater Lake being unsafe.”
“True,” she said. “We’re lucky that way, but I don’t take anything for granted.”
“What are you gonna be, Dr. Adam?”
“I hadn’t thought about it,” he admitted. “I’ll have to find out if the staff at the clinic dresses up.” He grinned. “I can picture Virginia in a witch’s hat, a big wart on her nose.”
“Gives you a hard time, does she?” Jill’s eyes twinkled.
“In a word? Yes.” He shrugged. “There’s no way to sugarcoat it.”
Jill took a bite of her salad. “I don’t know what I’d have done without Ginny when my mom got sick.”
“She told me. I’m glad someone was there for you.” He truly meant that.
“Mom, I’m finished with my soup. See?” He tilted his empty bowl for inspection.
“Good job, kiddo. All that outdoor activity must have made you hungry.”
“I still am. Can I have dessert?”
“Yes. But you have to wait patiently until Adam and I are finished.”
“Okay.” The agreement was automatic, but actual compliance was like trying to hold back a tsunami after a magnitude-nine earthquake. He wiggled and watched, but there was nothing patient about his waiting. After a minute or two he asked, “Aren’t you guys done yet?”
Jill met his gaze across the table as she scooped up the last of her soup.
“I’m finished. Adam?”
“Me, too.” He tilted his empty bowl for them to see.
“Would you like more soup?” Clearly she enjoyed just the tiniest bit of teasing.
“He’s full,” C.J. said quickly. “Right, Dr. Adam?”
“Not quite.” Adam couldn’t resist a little ribbing of his own. But only a little. “I have just enough room left for dessert.”
“Is it time now, Mom?”
“Yes.” She smiled at her son, then said, “It’s just ice cream.”
“My favorite.”
“Mine, too,” the little guy added.
“I picked up a couple of quarts from Maggie’s p
lace. There was a picture of her and the baby up behind the cash register.” She stood and carried her dishes to the sink.
“I’ll get those.” Adam stood and picked up the remaining plates, bowls and spoons.
“I wanna help.” C.J. slid off his chair and followed Adam.
Jill pulled the ice cream out of the freezer, then scooped it into bowls and set them on the table. “Dig in, guys.”
“Can I watch the movie about the toys while I eat my dessert? Please, Mommy. I won’t spill.”
She thought for a moment, but the soft look on her face wasn’t leading up to a negative response. “Okay. Just this once.”
“Can we all watch the movie?” C.J.’s expression was eager.
“Why not?”
So all of them trooped into the living room and Adam held her bowl while she put the DVD in the player and turned on the TV. The studio logo filled the screen, and the three of them sat on the sofa in front of it with the little boy in the middle. This scenario was not in Adam’s frame of reference. A quiet night watching television and not being alone felt really nice, which was why he knew it was past time to leave. And he would, as soon as a decent amount of time passed so it didn’t seem rude.
When they’d all finished their dessert, Jill took the empty bowls. “I’m just going to put everything in the dishwasher.”
“Do you need some help?”
“No. Enjoy the movie.” She smiled, then turned toward the kitchen.
He watched her walk away, the unconsciously sexy sway of her hips. Her curly hair spilled over the collar of her green sweater, and all he could think about was how beautiful she’d look naked, how much he wanted to see her thick red hair spread over a pillow. It was definitely time for him to say good-night.
About ten minutes later she was back, looking down at her son. “Someone’s out cold.”
“Not me.” Adam was too hot to be cold, and that was all her fault. But that’s not what she meant and she wasn’t talking about him.
C.J. had curled against him, his head resting on Adam’s chest. The slow, even breathing was a clue that the boy had fallen asleep.
She bent and tenderly brushed the hair off her son’s forehead. “I guess he’s worn out from all the activity today.”
“Yeah.”
With the sweet scent of her skin filling his head and her mouth so close, activities came to Adam’s mind that were all about tangled legs and twisted sheets.
“He needs to be in bed,” she said softly. “He’s gotten so heavy it’s not easy for me to pick him up. I’ll try not to rouse him too much while I walk him to his room.”
“I’ll carry him in.”
“That would be great. Thanks.” Her gaze met his. “I’ll turn down the bed.”
He nodded, then picked up C.J., who mumbled something before curling into his chest. He was solid, all boy, and tugged at Adam’s heart. This was just one more reason why coming tonight had been a boneheaded idea. But as soon as the kid was settled, he’d be out of there.
He followed Jill to the second bedroom and as gently as possible put the little guy on the superhero sheets. When C.J. turned on his side without waking, his mom pulled the matching comforter over him. After kissing the freckled cheek, she quietly walked out with Adam behind her.
In the living room, the movie was still softly playing. They stood by the back of the couch and looked at each other. Her eyes were liquid and soft and he could easily drown in them.
“I should go.” Because he so badly wanted to stay.
“Yeah. You must be tired after pulling an all-nighter.”
Not that tired, he thought, but kept the words inside. “I’m hanging in there.”
She walked him to the door. “Thanks for shoveling my snow.”
“You’re welcome. Thanks for dinner.” He put his hand on the knob and opened the door. Frigid air blew in and mixed with the seductive warmth of her. It took every ounce of his willpower to say, “Good night, Jill.”
Adam looked down at her, the way she rubbed her arms against the cold, and couldn’t make himself walk out. He wanted to keep her warm. He wanted to hold her.
He simply wanted her more than he’d wanted a woman in his life. When something in her eyes made him lean toward her, he lowered his head and she went up on tiptoe until their lips met.
No way was he leaving now.
Chapter Nine
The gentleness Adam had shown her son was Jill’s undoing. The strong man, so careful with C.J., had made her all gooey and warm inside. How could a woman resist the sight of a strong man carrying a child, her child, with such obvious caring? And he’d shoveled her snow, for goodness’ sake. The best she could do was soup and salad, but he’d been happy with that. She’d been fighting this overwhelming attraction since the first moment they’d met, and she just couldn’t do it anymore. All of the above pushed her over the edge.
Their mouths touched and the contact unleashed everything she’d been holding back. She frantically tugged at the shirt tucked into his jeans. He groaned and settled his hands at her waist, sliding them under her sweater to touch her bare skin. His palms were warm and he moved them up slowly until his thumbs brushed the undersides of her breasts. She couldn’t hold back a moan. It had been so long since she’d had a man’s hands on her like this, she nearly wept from the sheer joy in the sensation.
When she undid the top button of his shirt and ran her finger over the dusting of hair in the V, he sucked in a quick breath and took her hand in his. He kissed each fingertip before drawing the index finger into his mouth and sucking deeply. She felt the pull all the way to her belly, and between her thighs an aching need started pulsing.
“I want you.” Adam’s eyes burned with intensity. “But not here.”
“C.J.,” she whispered.
He nodded and took her hand, tugging her down the hall, past where her son was sleeping and into the master bedroom. He closed and locked the door. Again her insides turned into melted goo at the sweet and considerate act.
The garage-sale bedside lamp with the scalloped, off-white shade was turned on, but Adam’s tall form blocked the light. He took her closer to the bed, then stopped and cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. He tasted like chicken soup and ice cream, so ordinary—yet not. As kisses went, it was probably the best of her life. Not too slow or too fast. Not too hard or soft. Just the right amount of pressure to prime the passion. But she didn’t need priming, she needed him.
Jill reached up and slid her finger over his earlobe, then down his neck and stopped at his collarbone. His groan of need at the lightest of touches made her smile and then he kissed it away. Tension arced between them and they pulled at each other’s clothes again. Shirt and sweater came off and were tossed away. They worked the snaps and zippers on jeans and yanked them off, taking shoes and socks, too. The sound of their harsh breathing filled the room, but it was fueled by passion, not exertion.
She stood still while Adam reached around and undid the clasp of her bra. The straps slid down her arms and he helped it along, his eyes intense and approving as he stared at her.
“You are so beautiful,” he breathed, cupping her in his palms.
The feel of his hands on her bare flesh was too exquisite for words and she pressed herself more firmly against him. When he brushed his thumbs over her nipples, the sensation rocked her world and kicked her breathing up higher.
“That’s so good,” she whispered. “Too good.”
She pulled away and yanked the throw pillows off the bed and pitched them over the other side onto the floor. Then she turned down the comforter and crawled onto the mattress before dragging the top sheet over her. Finally she wiggled out of her panties and tossed them on the floor.
Lifting herself up onto her forearm, she studied him, standing there in hi
s boxers. He looked pretty spectacular. Wide shoulders, broad chest with just the right amount of hair, a flat belly and muscular legs. She judged him a fifteen on a scale of one to ten. And her gaze slid to that part of him that made him so male, so ready. It had been a long time for her. She was out of practice, not that she’d ever been in practice, and groaned as a thought struck her.
“What’s wrong?”
She met his concerned gaze. “I don’t have protection. Oh, Adam... This is awful. We can’t... I can’t...”
“I have a condom.” He shrugged at her look. “I always have one. Don’t leave home without it. Guy thing. Just don’t read anything into it.”
“Not judging, just grateful.”
She watched the play of muscle on his back as he reached for his jeans, pulled out the wallet, then put the square packet on the nightstand.
Jill held out her arms and he dropped his boxers, and came to her in the bed. He pulled her against him and lowered them both to the mattress. He kissed her lips, her neck, her breasts, until she could hardly draw air into her lungs. She kissed him back, sliding her hands over his shoulders, arms and chest. They were touching everywhere except where she most wanted.
“Oh, God, Adam...”
“I know.”
He rolled away and reached for the condom, then ripped it open. After covering himself, he pulled her back into his arms and shifted his body over hers. Taking his weight on his elbows, he entered her slowly, letting her body accept him. Moments later, he reached his hand between them to brush his thumb over the bundle of nerve endings at the juncture of her thighs. The touch was like a jolt from a live electrical wire that sent vibrations rippling through her, pleasure pulsing everywhere. She clung to him as her body shattered into a million pieces.
Breathing harsh and shallow, Adam thrust once more before he groaned and went still, then shuddered as he buried his face in her neck.
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