Jill wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that or where Adam found the energy to move, but he did and went into the bathroom. The light went on and she heard water running. A few minutes later he was back and the mattress dipped from his weight as he slid back in bed and reached for her.
“That was really...” She stopped and sighed, unable to come up with a good enough adjective.
“I know.” He linked her fingers with his, then rested their joined hands on his belly.
“This is nice.” She yawned and snuggled against him.
There was something about a warm man beside you on a cold night. She missed it and sighed again as her eyes drifted closed. She must have slept because sometime during the night she woke up cold. Sliding her hand over, she searched for Adam, but he wasn’t there. And the house was quiet. There were no unusual sounds suggesting he might still be around.
The disappointment of being alone was bigger and harder than she’d expected. Damn the cuddling. Sex was sex and it had been pretty fabulous, but holding each other after was intimate, and personal and really lovely. She hated the weakness, hated that she knew better but had ignored her own warnings.
Adam had left her bedroom door open and she heard C.J. call out in his sleep, probably a nightmare, which happened from time to time. Still naked, she slid out of bed and put on flannel pajamas. Maybe it was the cold air hitting her body, but common sense came back in a rush. What if C.J. had tried to come in and the door was locked? It never was and he’d have known something was up.
Her son badly wanted a man in his life, and finding his hero here would give him ideas. When it didn’t work out the way he hoped, the fall would be even harder. As disappointed as she was, maybe it was for the best that Adam had left.
But, oh, how she wished his arms were still around her. The intensity of that feeling was a very scary thing.
* * *
Just before six in the evening Adam heard a knock on his door and the fact that it was Halloween gave him a big clue who was on the other side. He opened it and, as he’d thought, C.J. was there.
“Trick or treat!” The kid was wearing a small white coat with his name embroidered on the pocket, black horn-rimmed glasses and a plastic stethoscope around his neck.
“Hey, champ. You look like a doctor.”
“I don’t give shots,” he said. “Mommy bought me a doctor set from the toy store with the thing that goes around your arm and a shot-giver, but I left that home.”
“Good to know.” He looked past the boy and saw Jill on the landing. “Hi.”
She lifted a hand in greeting, then slid her fingers into the pockets of her jeans. It was possible for her to look more uncomfortable, but he wasn’t sure how. He hadn’t seen her since that mind-blowing night a couple of days ago. The look he saw on her face now said she was having second thoughts about sex.
Adam looked down at C.J. “I don’t have any candy. I wasn’t expecting trick or treaters.”
“Aw, that’s okay. I just wanted to show you my costume anyways.”
“How about if I make it up to you with ice cream from Potter’s?”
“Cool!”
“C.J.?” Jill’s voice was strained. “Why don’t you run down to the marina and show Brew your costume before he goes home?”
“Okay.” He lifted his hand in a wave. “Bye, Dr. Adam.”
“Bye. Have fun tonight.”
“Don’t stay long, C.J. And meet me at the car.”
“Okay.” The boy was already at the bottom of the stairs.
Light from inside spilled over the tension in Jill’s face. “Don’t make promises to him, Adam. Don’t make a date with him.”
“Why not?”
“Because he believes. He’ll count on it.”
“There’s no reason he shouldn’t.” Adam had a feeling they weren’t talking about C.J. or ice cream now. “What’s really on your mind?” Sex was on his. It shouldn’t be, but no one was perfect.
“About the other night,” she said, folding her arms over her chest. “It can’t happen again.”
“I see.”
“No, you don’t. There are reasons. A lot of them.”
“It’s not necessary to justify anything to me. If the spark isn’t there...”
“This has nothing to do with sparks. It’s a distraction and I can’t afford that right now.”
“Right now? What’s changed?” Adam wasn’t sure why he felt the urge to push back. She was right and he had his own reasons for putting on the brakes.
“The thing is...” She caught the corner of her lip between her teeth. “Before... With the other doctor... I let myself have feelings. It had been a long time since I put myself out there. Everything was fun and flirty, but all of a sudden there was a future to think about and it made me happy. Then, he said he was leaving. Small-town life wasn’t for him.”
“He was an idiot. Probably still is.”
“I agree. But my little boy thought the sun rose and set on that idiot and he just walked away.”
Adam had thought he was past having to reassure her that he wasn’t leaving. “We’ve been through this.”
“That was before we— You know.” Now she was shy and awkward as opposed to uncomfortable.
“You’re right. The ‘you know’ does change things.” He knew exactly what she was saying. “And I agree that it can’t happen again.”
“You do?”
He nodded. “You’re a single mother. I think I know you well enough to know that an intimate relationship needs to mean something. You just talked about a future. And there wouldn’t be one with me.”
She looked surprised, but said, “Okay.”
She’d felt the need to explain and so did he. “I’m divorced. College sweetheart.”
“Why didn’t it work out?”
“I have a complicated relationship with my parents. That sounds so stupid, but we’re all a product of our environment.” He sighed. “In any other family, my academic accomplishments would have been considered stellar, but not with my folks.”
“I know how brilliant and accomplished your family is.” She’d done the background check.
“I put a lot of energy into not caring about their approval. I told myself that the effort I was putting into being at the top of my class was only for me, that I didn’t care what they thought about my life and my choices. But my parents loved Judith Bennett. Even my grandmother was a fan. So I proposed and we were happy right up until I didn’t meet her expectations.”
“So she turned to someone else? There was another man?”
“I think that would have been easier to take. I chose a medical specialty that she didn’t consider special.” He remembered the betrayal on Judy’s face when he broke the news that he wanted to be a family practice doctor. “She thought she was marrying into a family of high achievers and that I would be famous like the rest of the Stones. Obviously we had a failure to communicate. Failure leaves a mark when you’re a Stone, so now I make sure to put all my cards on the table. No assumptions, no misunderstandings.”
“What are you saying?”
“Marriage isn’t something I’m interested in doing again.”
“Good to know.” Her voice was steady, but there was a bruised look in her eyes and he hated himself for putting it there.
“It’s for the best.”
“I agree straightforward communication is the way to go. For me that’s about C.J.”
“What about him?”
“He’s my first priority. His welfare and happiness.”
“So you’ve said.”
“But it’s more important now.” She blew out a long breath. “After you left the other night, I realized how easily C.J. could have found you there. He’d have asked questions.”
“Kids aren’t easily fooled.”
“I dodged a bullet this time, but taking another chance isn’t something I’m willing to do. If we continue seeing each other, he’ll get ideas about you, me, a future. Believe me, he doesn’t need encouragement for that, but there’s no win in this situation, especially since you’ve been completely honest about your intentions. I don’t want him hurt.”
Adam understood and respected her for protecting her child. “He’s a great kid. I like hanging out with him.”
“For now. But what happens when you don’t?”
He knew she was referring to the other doctor who’d hurt them both. “That’s not going to happen. I moved here because of the small-town life.”
“And you spent summers here, so you knew what you were getting into.” She settled her purse more securely on her shoulder. “But no one knows better than me that there are lots of ways to leave even if you’re still here.”
“Mom?” The small voice carried up the stairway. “It’s time to go trick or treatin’.”
“Coming, sweetie.” She smiled, but the look was brittle around the edges. “Thanks for understanding. Bye, Adam.”
He watched her stiff back as she descended the stairs. Shouldn’t he be more relieved after the straightforward talk? Now she knew he was a confirmed bachelor and he was completely on the same page with her about not setting C.J. up for a fall. Everybody was happy.
He should be, but not so much.
* * *
That warm and gooey feeling inside could turn on you in a heartbeat, Jill decided.
She should be pleased that Adam had been so understanding about ending any future physical relationship. Maybe she would be if he hadn’t dropped his own bombshell.
Married? Really? And no one knew this? She’d done the background, but the marital status came up single, not divorced. And why did it really matter? At least she found out he wasn’t on the market before her heart got sucked in and she got hurt. Maybe a little hurt. Nothing that spending time at this Halloween party couldn’t fix, although if she’d known it would be necessary to hide her hurt feelings from people who knew her too well, she’d have planned to wear a full face mask.
Children and adults were gathered in the town hall, which was located one street over from Main, next to the courthouse. Hanging from the ceiling were orange-and-black streamers, cobwebs and tissue paper ghosts. One fourth of the big room was partitioned off into a haunted house, complete with zombie guide, squeaky door and eerie laughter sound effects.
On tables along the wall, potluck food was set up. On the other side of the room, games for the younger children were in progress. C.J. was with a group of boys in the corner who had dumped already-inspected candy from their trick-or-treat pumpkins. Tyler was there and it looked as though the two of them were in negotiations for a major trade.
Jill was checking out the choices on the food table, although her appetite had been missing since that informative chat with Adam. The mayor stopped beside her, paper plate in hand.
“Hey, Jill. How are you?”
“Good,” she lied. “Yourself?”
“Can’t complain. Technically, I could, but who would listen?”
“I would,” Jill volunteered. She’d rather focus on someone else’s problems than her own.
“I’m really fine.” The sad gray eyes said something else.
It was said that eyes were a window to the soul, and with a flash of insight, Jill somehow knew that Loretta Goodson had loved deeply once and it hadn’t ended well. She wondered if her own experience with Adam Stone had somehow made her more perceptive. It certainly made her empathize.
“What’s going on with you? I haven’t seen you since the football fundraiser at Potter’s Ice Cream Parlor, before Maggie’s baby was born. Have you seen her yet?” the mayor asked.
“Yes, but just for a couple of minutes. I remember how it feels when you’re so tired you can’t see straight and want to cry with the newborn, but you’re the grown-up and can’t.”
Her Honor looked wistful. “I’ve heard it’s really hard.”
With the new insight Jill realized she’d touched a nerve with the mayor and a change of subject would be good. “The baby is beautiful and healthy. Or so Adam says and he’s the expert.”
“How is that hunky health care professional who’s renting your upstairs apartment?”
“Still renting it.” For now, Jill added to herself. When she’d left him earlier, he’d seemed far too relieved that she was ending it before anything really got started. And she didn’t want to talk about Adam. Getting him out of her head would be better. Good luck with that, she thought bitterly. “What’s new, Your Honor?”
“Still trying to get that golf course and club idea off the ground, but so far I can’t get anyone to commit resources to the project.”
“That would create some jobs, which would be a good thing.” Jill felt the sluggish economy just as much as every business owner in town.
“More leisure activities would boost tourism, but it would also attract the retired demographic, which is good for construction. More folks moving here would pump money into the town’s existing infrastructure.” The mayor sighed. “It’s giving me gray hair.”
“Oh, please. Don’t even complain about yours.” Jill tugged on a lock of her red hair sticking out from under her hat. “Compared to mine, yours should be in a national ad campaign for product.”
“Thank you.” Loretta grinned. “And for this flattering shade of brown I’m incredibly grateful to Susie at A Wild Hair. On a man, gray hair is distinguished. A silver-haired woman isn’t a fox, just old. It’s my plan to keep everyone guessing about my age, but not out loud or to my face.”
Jill laughed. “C.J. thinks anyone over twelve is ancient.”
“Ah, the world according to a six-year-old. To be that innocent again.”
Jill wasn’t sure she’d ever been so innocent at that young an age. She remembered hearing her mother cry on those nights her father didn’t come home and the fights on the nights he did. Finally he just left and her mother looked sad. As a single mom, she knew it was important that she not bring any pain or distress into her son’s life. He might not get the male influence or the family he craved, but there was something to be said for a stable environment.
“So C.J. had the stitches removed from his chin all right?” The mayor took the tongs from a bucket of chicken and put a drumstick on her plate.
“He did,” Jill confirmed. “And the jury’s still out on who was more traumatized, him or me.”
Loretta glanced at C.J., roughhousing in the corner with his friend. “It’s purely an observation, but I’d say Dr. Stone worked magic on that boy since he’s dressed for Halloween as a health care professional.”
“I have to admit Adam was really good with him. And you can hardly see the scar on his chin.”
“And what about your scars?” Those sharp gray eyes didn’t miss much.
“I’m doing fine.” If you didn’t count sleeping with Adam, loving every minute of it and telling him not ever again.
“Has Adam worked his magic on you?”
Jill shook her head. “I didn’t split open my chin.”
“No, your wounds are on the inside where no one can see them.”
There was no arguing with that, so she didn’t try. “I’m fine.”
“But are you happy?” Loretta’s voice was kind. “Dr. Stone is an attractive man. I know there are people in this town who haven’t welcomed him as warmly as they might have if you hadn’t been hurt by that one who shall remain nameless. There’s no reason to believe that this one will abruptly pick up and leave.”
“Are you trying to talk me into going after him?” Jill stared at the older woman. “Since when does your job description inc
lude matchmaking?”
“It’s a chick thing, not a mayor thing.” Loretta grinned. “In my humble opinion you and Adam Stone would make a lovely couple.”
“And if it didn’t work out, what happens to C.J.?”
“You can’t protect him from everything, Jill, and if you try it’s not doing him any favors.”
“Keeping my son from harm is in my job description.”
“Absolutely—to a point. But you can’t surround him with bubble wrap. Sure, you take a chance and he could get hurt and mope around. It might even leave a scar on the inside like the one on his chin. But it’s experiences that give him the character to deal with what life will throw at him. He needs to learn that not every kid on a team with a losing record should get a trophy. That’s not a realistic view of the world.”
“Every child needs to know he has value.”
“I couldn’t agree more. But they need to find goals and work for them. You can’t give C.J. his self-esteem, he’s got to earn that on his own. Like you. Taking over your mother’s business, raising your child and taking classes for your degree. I can’t tell you how much I admire what you’re doing. And what an amazing example you are to your son.”
Jill knew the words made a lot of sense and she appreciated the approval. “Thank you, Your Honor.”
“And while I’m on my soapbox, let me give you some words of advice. No one can guarantee that Dr. Stone will be any different from the doctor who disappointed your little guy. But he’s here now and we might as well use him.”
She was pretty sure Her Honor, the mayor, wasn’t talking about sex, but the fact that Jill’s thoughts went there wasn’t comforting. How did she protect herself from that?
Chapter Ten
Adam was driving too fast and his tires squealed when he turned off Lakeview Road and into his driveway. Jill’s car was there and he parked beside it. He was frustrated and pissed off. On top of that, it was late and he was tired. There was a gnawing in his gut that was mostly about feeling powerless and a little about being hungry.
He turned off the car then got out and slammed the door harder than necessary. Walking around the corner, he saw the lights on in Jill’s place. That didn’t help the gnawing in his gut.
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