Willow Pond

by Carol Tibaldi

  This time, Erich opened the bedroom door and peered inside. “We should talk.”

  She followed him into the kitchen where he had prepared steaming cups of tea. It was served in the Lenox china they had received as a wedding gift from her parents, and when she looked at it she was struck with the realization that her marriage had been a lie from the first day.

  “You never loved me,” she said calmly. She stood by the kitchen counter, bracing herself against its edge. “You married me because Laura Austin wouldn’t have you.”

  “That isn’t true. I did love you. I still do.” He took a bottle of milk out of the icebox and poured some into a creamer, then looked at her pale face. “Please sit down.”

  “What can you say to me that will change anything?”

  “I vowed once that we’d always be together.”

  “You aren’t going to be able to keep that promise.”

  He stared at the cup of tea, then looked up at her. “I’ve made a mess out of everything.”

  She hesitated, wanting to say exactly what she felt in that moment. “Do you know what hurts the most?” she asked. “Your lack of interest in our baby. I’ve seen the pride in your eyes whenever you mention Rachel, but it’s not there when we talk about our child. You seem almost … bored with the subject. That hurts.”

  “I want our child very much. I will love him with all my heart and soul. But that doesn’t mean I can’t love my daughter, too.”

  “My God, Erich. I wish I could believe you. You say one thing, but your actions tell me something else.” She shrugged. “Maybe you’ll love our baby, but you certainly don’t love me. I can’t live with that.”

  “I care about you. Very much.”

  “Care about me? That’s a laugh. I want to be loved. I want someone to love me the way I love you or the way you love Laura Austin. I saw it in your eyes when you looked at her. I want that. I don’t want to share you with anyone, and as long as she’s on the face of this earth, you’ll always belong to her.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “We need time apart.”

  He reached for her hand. “Can’t we at least try?”

  “Why are you making this harder than it already is? You know as well as I do that it’s over between us. There was never anything there to begin with. At least not on your part.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  “Oh, Erich. No more. I can never trust you again. You belong to Laura, not me. I’ll move out as soon as I pack my things.”

  “There’s no need for you to go anywhere. I’ll find a place.”

  “No. I don’t want to live here. I can move into my parents’ house. They have plenty of room for me and the baby.”

  He looked at her, his eyes so incredibly blue she wanted to cry. If only they had made it. If only there had been no Laura Austin. If only. If only.

  “I never wanted to end up this way,” he said. “Please believe me when I say I want to be a part or our child’s life. A father.”

  “I’d never take him away from you. I know what my father has always meant to me.”

  She glanced critically around the kitchen. “I don’t want to be in this apartment anymore. It’s never felt like a home to me. Then again, you never wanted to have a home with me, did you? Your heart’s always been elsewhere.”

  “Jenny, I’m sorry I disappointed you.”

  She finished her tea and put the cup in the sink. Without a word she left him alone and headed back to the guest bedroom, where she spent the night crying. In the morning Erich got up 6:00 a.m. and left for Washington D.C. before Jenny was awake. When he returned three days later, she’d moved out.

  ***

  The day after he returned from Washington D.C., Erich called Laura. He told her Jenny had left him and had called that morning to tell him she planned to file for divorce as soon as the baby was born. When Laura heard him say the words she wanted to laugh with relief, but she detected a note of sadness in his voice. Just because her marriage to Phillip had been a nightmare, there was no reason to believe his marriage to Jenny had also been that way. They’d been married such a short time, and she was expecting a baby. Laura sensed he was fond of her. No, none of this could be easy for a man as sensitive as Erich.

  “I never thought things would end this way,” Erich said quietly. “Do you feel as miserable as I do?”

  “My marriage was over before I met you. I’ve just let it drag on out of habit. It’s different for you. I don’t think you would have married Jenny unless you’d thought it would work out.”

  “You’re too easy on me. I knew how I felt about you. I never should have married her.” He reached for a cigarette then tossed the pack onto the table. “I hurt her more than she could ever deserve. That makes me feel like the biggest louse that ever walked the earth. Then there’s the baby …”

  “How can I help? Maybe I could call Jenny and explain to her that none of this would have happened if I hadn’t gone back to Phillip. It was all just a misunderstanding.”

  “You and I know that, but it wouldn’t mean anything to her.” When she didn’t say anything, he continued. “I’ve got the next three days off. I’d really love it if you and the baby could come here and stay with me. There’s an art expo in Washington Square Park tomorrow and Sunday, and I know how much you enjoyed the one last year.”

  “Sounds like fun.” She laughed. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  Erich leaned down and brushed his lips against the baby’s soft, round cheek. Rachel gurgled and smiled up at him and he kissed her again. Beside him, Laura beamed. He kissed her, too, then took the suitcase.

  “There are a couple of other bags out in the car,” she said. He headed for the door and she called out, “I’m parked on the corner.”

  She watched him walk out the door, then realized she hadn’t told him which corner, but he was back within minutes. Without saying a word, he marched past her into the bedroom. In the next moment he’d wheeled out a brand new baby carriage filled with stuffed animals and other baby toys. He handed Rachel a white teddy bear and she grinned at him. Laura let him take the baby out of her arms as tears streamed down her cheeks.

  “Laura? What did I do?”

  She sniffed, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry, Erich. It isn’t you. This is so sweet. It just made me think of Todd’s first teddy bear and how happy he was when he got it.”

  Rachel squeezed the teddy bear and smiled up at both of them.

  “You’re a big hit,” Laura said.

  Erich ran his fingers through the baby’s flaxen hair. “It’s like silk, you know? Does she need a nap or anything?”

  “She slept on the way here. I’ll change her diaper and she should be fine.” Laura smiled at the vague expression of disgust on his face. “Unless, of course, you want to do it.”

  “Uh … maybe next time.”

  Once Rachel was changed, Erich took the carriage outside and they walked toward Washington Square Park. The late summer sun cast a pinkish glow over the streets of Greenwich Village.

  “I’m going to start reading to her soon. Like I did with Todd. It’s never too early to start reading to a child.”

  He nodded. “I’ve got some books to give you.”

  When they reached the park, Laura spread a blanket on the grass. She set Rachel on it and the baby immediately rolled onto all fours and started crawling around. Laura sat next to her and handed her a bottle. A couple of teenage boys tossed a soccer ball at Erich and he threw it back to them with ease. Peter had told her one time that Erich had been both a champion soccer player and swimmer in Germany, but whenever she asked him about that time in his life he always changed topics.

  “If you want to join the game, go ahead. Rachel and I will wait for you.”

  He took her hand and kissed it, then kissed the baby’s pudgy hand. “I’d much rather be here with my two girls. Besides, Peter and I have a game planned for next
weekend.”

  For the next half hour they sat on the blanket talking about Rachel and drinking lemonade from the thermos he’d brought. The baby had just fallen asleep when they noticed a man staring at them. Erich got up and faced him.

  “Can I do something for you?” Erich asked.

  “Yes, actually. I know I was staring, and I’m sorry if I disturbed you. I’m a portrait artist and I’d like to paint you and your wife and baby. The three of you have an almost … surreal beauty.”

  “We have no time to pose at a studio,” Erich said.

  “No, no. Right here, right now. All I need is my sketch pad and some charcoal and I have both of them with me.”

  He sat on a park bench and Erich joined Laura and Rachel on the blanket. They continued to talk, not feeling the least bit self-conscious, while Rachel slept and the artist sketched. Laura’s favorite thing about it was the fact that the artist seemed not to recognize her. He didn’t want to sketch her because she was Phillip Austin’s wife, but because he found her interesting. In just over an hour he finished the sketch and handed it to them. Erich gave him a couple of dollars, but the artist handed the money back.

  “No thank you, sir. I do this because I love to do it. I don’t need the money.”

  Laura and Erich watched him walk away, then turned their attention to the portrait.

  “Do you realize this is the first image of the three of us together?” Laura asked. “One day soon, when we’re all living together, we’ll buy a frame and hang it in our home.”

  Erich stared hard at the picture.

  “What?” she asked.

  He shook his head incredulously. “I just can’t believe how much I love our little girl. Just look at her! I never thought I could love anyone so much.”

  Laura chuckled and lay back on the blanket. “I guess I’m going to have to play second fiddle. Is that the way you want things to be?”

  “Of course not.” He lay beside her and searched her face. “Are you sure it’s over between you and Austin?”

  “Kaput. Done. Finished. I’ve already filed for divorce.”

  The breeze stirred a few golden strands of hair across her face and he tucked them behind her ear. “It won’t be long before our divorces are final. Then there will be nothing standing in our way.”

  “You know,” she said, “when I first met you, I didn’t think I had the right to be happy.”

  “I knew someday you’d realize our being together or not being together had nothing to do with what happened to Todd,” said Erich.

  She sighed, sad again. “Everything I’ve been through since the day he was kidnapped has made me a stronger person, but it hasn’t made me miss him any less.” Erich pulled her to him and kissed the side of her face. “We have to find him, Erich. I can’t live without him.”

  “All I ever wanted to do was spare you the pain.”

  She leaned back and touched his cheek with her fingertips. “That’s sweet, but you can’t do that. No one can. For years other people took care of things for me, fought all my battles. Now I realize no one else can do that except me.”

  Back at Erich’s apartment that night, he cooked steak and mushrooms for supper. Afterwards, they put the baby to bed and carried their glasses of red wine into the living room. The flower arrangement in the living room, the candles in the bedroom, and the pastel shades of bath salts in the bathroom were proof that another woman had once lived there. Laura wondered why Jenny had left those things behind. She picked up a copy of Reader’s Digest from the coffee table, and the first article she turned to was one about Phillip’s desperate search for Todd.

  She snorted. “He’s not doing a thing to find him. It’s all publicity.”

  “I know he’s not. But …” he said, clinking his glass against hers, “I have new information.”

  He told her about Mary Flay and Maggie Pierce, though he seemed concerned at first, as if she’d be angry he hadn’t told her before. She wasn’t.

  In the corner of the room hung a painting of a young girl with long red hair. She wore a white dress from the early 1900s, and Laura stared at it, mesmerized.

  “My grandmother had red hair like that,” she said quietly. “I always wished I’d inherited it. When I was little I loved to watch her unpin it and see it fall in waves down her back. It was so luxurious.”

  “I love your hair. It’s like gold. Rachel’s is going to be the same.”

  “My grandmother died a few months after my parents did, but I remember her telling me that love was the only reason to marry. She said if you married for any other reason the marriage would fail.” She sipped her coffee. “Phillip and I never loved each other. Now our son is paying for a marriage that never should have been.”

  “Laura, you’re too smart to believe anything like that.”

  “Maybe. But in my heart sometimes I wonder. So based on what you told me, do you think Todd could be in England?”

  “I’m not sure. All I know is what Mary Flay told me about Maggie Pierce and her little boy.”

  “Maggie Pierce.” She thought for a moment “The name means nothing to me. Did you look into it while you were over there?”

  “I did, and I came up with nothing.”

  She frowned. “Wait a minute. Erich, why did Virginia move to London so suddenly? She gave me some excuse about wanting to open a club, and she did that. It’s just that never made sense to me. She loves New York and her brownstone. She could have sent Harry or Vince to London if she were really interested. I also know it must be killing her to be separated from the baby and me. She adored Todd and would absolutely want to be a big part of Rachel’s life.”

  He shrugged. “Well, there’s one thing I can do. I’ll go to Ohio and talk to Mary Flay, see if there’s anything she forgot to tell me.”

  “I’m going with you. I need to do something to help find my son. Phillip insisted on protecting me from everything, but I won’t let you do that.”

  ***

  Difficult economic times were making themselves known in Vandalia, Ohio. Laura insisted on stopping every time they saw another hobo so she could give him money. Within a mile radius they saw more than a dozen soup kitchens, each one serving a long line of defeated people. Cardboard shacks lined the streets, and Laura was hard pressed not to weep as they drove by. Despite her problems, she knew she was a lucky woman. She had more than she deserved and felt obligated to do something for these people.

  Erich parked in front of the Tudor house, went around the car and opened Laura’s door for her. They climbed the long flight of stairs to the front door, then he rang the bell. A few moments later Mary Flay appeared, holding a bowl of dough in her hands. When she saw Laura her mouth dropped open.

  “Please come in.” She held the door for them. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess. I’m making peach pies for Sunday dinner. Oh, I’m so pleased you’ve come over. Come and sit down. Coffee? Iced tea?”

  They declined her offer, but sat at the dining room table across from their host. Mary stared at Laura for some time, which made Laura slightly uncomfortable.

  “No doubt about it,” Mary finally said.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “The little boy with Maggie Pierce. He is your son. He had such a strong resemblance to you. Especially around the eyes.” She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. “It would be impossible for him not to be your child. Of course the hair color was different, but that doesn’t matter.”

  “You’re sure.”

  “Yes.” She beamed at them both. “As sure as I am that my peach pie is the best in the state of Ohio. Speaking of which, I’ve got one cooling on the windowsill.” She smiled coyly at Erich. “Would you like a piece?”

  “Sure. If it’s not any trouble.”

  “What about you, dear?” Mary asked Laura.

  “It smells so good. Yes, I’d love to have a small piece. Thank you,” Laura said.

  Within moments Mary returned with two of the biggest slices
of pie either Laura or Erich had ever seen. Laura was certain that she never be able to finish it. She changed her mind when she’d taken her first bite. It was delicious.

  “Is there anything you forgot to tell me when we met before, Mary?”

  “No, but I did find something in her room you might be interested in.”

  She went to the hutch, opened the top draw and extracted a small, heart-shaped locket. She handed it to Erich, who turned it over in his hand.

  “There’s an inscription,” he said. “To N. With love G.”

  “I wonder who N and G are,” Laura said. “I also wonder why she left it here.”

  Erich cleaned his mouth with a napkin. “Maybe she wants to be found and this is a clue.”

  “I don’t think so,” Mary said, shaking her head. “Maggie kept very much to herself. She was very secretive. She did her best to make sure no one found out anything about her. I imagine what must have happened is that she was in such a hurry to get out of here she left this behind by accident. She probably hasn’t even noticed it’s missing yet. Do you have any idea where she is now?”

  “Nothing definite. England’s a good possibility. Maybe London.” Erich said.

  “Do you think that because I told you she had an English accent?”

  “That and other things.” Erich said, getting to his feet.

  Erich reached to shake Mary’s hand and Laura leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek.

  “You’ve been a big help to us, Mary. I feel more confident than ever that we’ll be able to find my son. When we do, you have an open invitation to come and see him and our new baby girl,” Laura said.

  Mary looked puzzled for a moment as she glanced between the two of them. “You and him?” she said, pointing at Erich. “Why, I never knew! I’d read about your split from Phillip Austin, but …”

  “Do you mean you came to see me and didn’t know I was involved with Laura?” Erich asked, looking impressed. “Huh. An honest citizen who actually just wants to help. Don’t see that too often these days.”