Naked Love
Page 18
I wait.
She stares at her feet swinging from the table in a slow rhythm.
“You like …”
Avery’s nose wrinkles. “These videos.”
“Videos?”
“Never mind. Forget it. It’s dumb.” Her cheeks flush as she glances around the laundromat, looking everywhere but directly at me.
“Ave, are you into porn?” I push off the wall of dryers and wedge my body between her dangling legs.
Giving me a quick headshake, she presses her lips into a firm line and continues to survey our surroundings.
My hands squeeze her legs, forcing her mouth into a tiny smile. “If you don’t tell me, I’ll be forced to think your favorite past time is watching porn.”
“What if that’s it?” She halts her wandering gaze, focused on mine. “What if all I enjoy is shopping and long afternoons at the salon? What if I’ve never stuck a dime in the red kettle at Christmastime or paid it forward? What if my favorite foreplay is watching other people have sex? Does that deflate your tree-loving heart? Does it take a little more effort to get an erection for me?”
I grin.
Her eyes narrow. “This isn’t funny. You need to find a sliver of goodness in me to justify what’s happening between us. And the truth is, you’re just like every other guy I’ve dated—you want my body, but you, Jake Matthews, have this nagging conscience. You have a reputation for being a nice guy who does the right thing. And nice guys doing the right thing don’t settle for someone like me.”
I can strip her down, take her apart. We can sort through the pieces. But she needs to decide how to put things back together where they belong and what she no longer needs. I can’t be part of what makes her whole again. People don’t fill voids, even if they create them.
Leaning forward, I ghost my mouth along her jaw to her ear. “Tell me about the videos. I know they’re not porn.” I kiss her earlobe. “I think it’s something very unsexy. Yet…” I kiss her neck “…something tells me it’s going to make my whole damn day.”
She shivers as her shaky hands lay claim to my arms. “Jake …” My name falls breathlessly from her lips.
My hands ascend another inch up her legs as my lips remain idle against her soft flesh. “Tell me, Ave …”
Her fingers curl into my biceps. “Documentaries. I like watching documentaries. Especially the True Facts series by Ze Frank. He shares crazy but mostly true facts about various animals in a Morgan Freeman-like narration. It’s hilarious and completely inappropriate because he often fixates on genital facts, but I laugh myself into a giggle-fit every time.”
And this is why I’m on the road to nowhere with this woman—and with no incentive to rush a single moment. I get to see something I’m sure no human before me has ever truly seen. It’s pretty fucking incredible.
“Real sexy, huh?” Insecurity. I hate the insecurity in her voice.
Wrapping my arms around her waist, I lift her from the counter.
“Jake—”
I silence her with a hard look two seconds before kissing her. With no knowledge of what’s in the back of the laundromat, I walk us toward two vending machines down a small hallway ending in a “staff only” door.
It’s a little dark and a lot cramped, but I don’t need any light or much space to make my point.
Her sundress.
Her sans-panties body.
It’s almost wrong to not do this right here, right now.
I wedge us into the four-foot space between the two machines, pin her back to one of them, and free myself from my jeans. Messy, disheveled, giggles-at-animal-genitalia-jokes Avery has me very hard at the moment. And completely out of my mind.
“Jake, not … here …” Her protest evaporates into the musty air between us as I fill her with every inch of my cock.
We kiss, tongues making desperate jabs into each other’s mouths as her hands ball into tight fists filled with my hair.
I growl.
She tightens her grip.
I slide my hands to hold her bare ass as I fuck her harder, rattling the vending machine, attempting to infuse some sense into her. She’s worthy of whatever the hell she wants in life.
We all are.
Her legs tighten around my waist as I pick up the pace. What is she doing to me? When did my despise morph into such an uncontrollable need? I feel like a horny teenager possessed with the need to get off all day long.
The front door creaks open.
“Jake—”
“Shh …” I kiss her harder, fuck her faster.
Two vending machines hide us in a dim hallway. Eighties music stutters out of old speakers to block our noise. We’ve got this. And even if someone heads toward us, I can’t stop.
It’s not just me. Avery rocks her pelvis in a clawing rhythm to get off before time runs out.
That’s all it takes for me to release. “God … damn …” I bite her neck to muffle my pleasure.
“No …” Avery yanks my hair again, hips grinding frantically as I still.
“Let it go.” I chuckle, thrusting into her several more times as my right thumb finds her clit.
“Yes … yes … yesss …” she whispers out of breath.
With my final thrust to get her off, something clinks and thunks into the bottom opening of the vending machine at Avery’s back.
Avery lifts her head, flushed from neck to forehead. She grins, realizing we just rattled out a snack. “Dibs.”
She can have dibs on the candy bar. I want dibs on her.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Avery
“Swarley won’t eat his chew stick.” Twisted in my seat, I frown at a drowsy Swarley as we make our way to the Grand Canyon.
“It’s hot. He’s probably just tired.” Jake gives me a quick sidelong glance.
“It’s buffalo and honey, his favorite. He always scarfs it down. I’m worried something is wrong with him.”
“Well, I can call a friend of mine. She’s a vet, moved from L.A. to Flagstaff two years ago.”
She.
Why am I tripping over that? I don’t want to be that girl. Not with Jake. Yet … I’m that girl. Gah!
“That would be great. I can’t kill Swarley. My sister will never forgive me.”
Jake chuckles. “Killing someone’s dog is pretty unforgivable. So is poisoning them.”
“So is depriving someone of a proper shower.”
“Poisoning and shower deprivation. Yeah, those are on the same level.”
“Don’t be bitter.” I slide off my sandals and prop my feet up on the dash for two seconds before my gnarly, un-manicured feet frighten me into dropping them back to the floor.
“Don’t be self-conscious.” He hands me another quick look with a knowing smirk.
I want to go home, and yet I don’t. Everything will change when we get to L.A. How can it not? I live there. Jake lives in Milwaukee. That’s a lot of miles to solve.
“Your mom. Is she why you eat the way you do? Is she why you take such good care of your body?” I grunt a laugh. “That’s actually odd if the answer is yes because you were a fighter. You let people beat the shit out of you. That’s the opposite of taking care of your body. Right?”
“I was the guy beating the shit out of other fighters. But thanks, Ave, for assuming I suck.” He grabs my knee and squeezes it until I jump.
Why does Jake the fighter turn me on? I’m not a violent person nor have I ever been into watching any sort of fighting. I don’t even care for action movies. Yet the idea of Jake winning fights makes me squirm in my seat, well, that and the memories of the laundromat.
“Why? Was it for the money?” I grab his hand on my knee and bring it to my lips, kissing his knuckles one at a time.
“The money was good. But no, that’s not why I started fighting. My uncle was a fighter. When he saw me spiraling out of control after my mom died, he trained me, put me in the ring, and told me to fight the demons. I did. I fought my father, the memories o
f my mother losing herself, the kids who made fun of her right in front of me. Everything … I just kept knocking everything down. I was never going to use food the way my mom did. I was never going to take another snide remark from my father. I wanted—I needed—total control of my life.”
“And vegans are in control?”
He laughs. “Sure. And that explains why you’re such a hot mess. You consume too many angry animals’ spirits. They’re pissed off about being slaughtered and having their udders pumped to the point of bleeding.”
“Ew … too far.”
Jake laughs more. “Sorry. Probably a tad too far.”
“Can you love me even if I eat said slaughtered animals?” I slap my hand over my mouth.
Oh my god.
“That was …” I shake my head, mumbling through my cupped hand. “Not what I meant to say.”
“Your life, Ave. Not mine. Your journey. Your conscience. Your beliefs. Not mine.”
He fails to acknowledge the L-word I just flung in his direction. I don’t know if I should feel relieved or terrified.
I twist around when Swarley makes a noise. “Oh my gosh!”
He vomits on the seat.
“Jake! He’s sick.” I unfasten my seat belt and wedge my body behind the console to flip up his blanket so the vomit doesn’t run down behind the seats.
“Okay. Calm down. I’m pulling over.” Jake veers onto the shoulder. Thankfully, we’re not on a main road with heavy traffic. He hops out and opens the back door.
Swarley struggles to get out, so Jake helps him.
“Oh no!” I cover my mouth as Swarley retches again, but very little comes out.
“He probably got into something that’s upset his stomach.” Jake squats next to him and strokes his back.
“Call your friend. Call her now.” My stomach clenches like an angry fist as panic sends my heart sprinting to keep up with the fear that something is not right. Swarley is not a young dog anymore.
“Grab my phone.” He stays next to Swarley.
I get it and push the voice command button.
“Call Megan,” Jake says as I hold it close to his mouth.
Megan. I now have a name for the irrational jealousy that’s on my horizon. It rings on speaker three times before she picks up.
“Hey, sexy!”
Yeah. I hate her. After she fixes Swarley, I will kill her to eliminate my competition. Friend … Addy is his friend. He had sex with Addy. Doesn’t he have any male friends? Look at him … of course all his friends are women who willingly sleep with him. And they stay friends. Will we be friends when whatever this is ends in L.A.?
“Hey, Meg. Are you home today?”
“Depends. Are you coming to visit me?”
“As a matter of fact, I’m thirty minutes away. But I need a favor.”
“Is it sexual?”
I raise my brows, returning a tight smile as Jake tosses me a grimace.
“Uh … funny. No.”
“Am I laughing? Come on, throw me a bone or boner.” Now she laughs.
It’s a terrible laugh, and I’m not being catty or biased. Really.
“Totally kidding, Jake. But single life sucks. I never should have gotten married. The asshole just sucked all the good years out of me, and now I’m used goods.”
“I don’t have time to feed your ego, Meg. I need a favor.”
“You sound serious.”
Swarley retches again, but nothing comes out except tons of drool dangling from his lips.
“I’m traveling with someone. She has her sister’s dog with her, and she’s worried he might be sick or something. He’s vomiting and drooling excessively. He probably ate something he should not have. Would you be willing to check him out?”
“Of course. What breed of dog?”
“Weimaraner.”
“I’ll text you my clinic address and meet you there. I’m at home right now.”
“Thanks, Meg. You’re the best. See you soon.” He ends the call.
“Wow …” I shake my head while removing the soiled blanket from the backseat, retching a few times myself because it smells so bad. “I get to meet two of your friends slash past lovers on this trip. Yay me.”
Jake grabs a few towels from the back of the truck and lays them across the backseats. “Meg and I are friends. That’s it. We met at a fight years ago. Her husband made a lot of money betting on me. They both followed me to countless fights. We all became friends … until he cheated on her. They’ve been divorced now for two years. That’s when she moved to Flagstaff. Meg and I just stayed in touch. No big deal.”
I frown while he helps Swarley into the truck. “He has to be okay. Sydney will kill me if anything happens to him.”
“He’ll be fine. Dogs get sick just like humans.” Jake shuts the back door and turns to me, pulling me into his broad chest. “Okay?”
This space he makes for me feels like it’s mine—his arms, the crook of his neck, the bold, woodsy soap scent clinging to his skin. This is my spot. I don’t want to lose my spot.
As soon as we pull out onto the road, I flip down the visor and check my hair and naked face.
“You’re beautiful.”
“You’ve had your dick in me three times today. I’m worried you’re not really seeing me clearly through your post-coital goggles.” I frown at my reflection. “Ten bucks says she’s wearing makeup and has at least one hair product in her hair.”
“We stayed at a motel last night. You had a mirror and light this morning. Why didn’t you put on makeup?”
I shrug.
“Well?”
“You guilt me into ignoring my appearance. If I even check for an eyelash in my eye, you give me a look like I’m obsessing over my appearance.”
“Why do you care what I think?”
I start to speak but snap my mouth shut. Jake baits me into knee-jerk reactions. He pushes me. Sometimes he challenges me in ways I need to be challenged. But right now, I’m out of my comfort zone with a man I’ve known all of two seconds, and my sister’s beloved dog is sick on my watch. This isn’t the right time to speak my mind.
* * *
Our silence breaks as Jake parks outside a tiny, dark wood building. “Oh Jesus …” I gasp at the excessive drool coming from Swarley’s mouth, and I think something is oozing from his nose too.
Jake shuts off the engine and opens the back door. “Come on, buddy.”
Swarley lifts his head an inch then rests it back on the seat.
“Hey, Jake.”
I turn to the long-haired brunette in skinny jeans and a fitted gray tee. Yep. She’s wearing makeup and her hair is not naturally this perfect. No way.
It’s so wrong of me to envy her hair when Swarley is in bad shape, but it’s a natural reaction. Maybe I am a terrible person.
Jake hugs her. It knocks the wind out of me for a few seconds. She’s in my spot.
“Good to see you, Meg.” He kisses her cheek.
Those are my lips. Why did he kiss her with lips that are supposed to be just for me? Why am I feeling so overcome with jealousy while my hands shake with panic because Swarley can barely lift his head?
“This is Avery. Avery, this is my friend, Megan.”
I offer her my shaky hand. She takes it and covers it with her other hand as well, giving me a gentle squeeze. “Nice to meet you. Don’t worry, I’m going to take good care of your dog. What’s his name?”
“Swarley.” Her kindness sends instant tears to my eyes.
It’s official. I’m an awful person for letting unwarranted jealousy get to me.
“Jake, let’s get Swarley inside.”
Jake and Megan carry him inside while I hold open the doors. “You can come back if you’d like, or you can wait out here while I examine him.”
“I’ll wait out here.” I return a shaky smile as I hug my arms to my torso.
“I’ll be right back.” Jake gives me a reassuring nod, but I don’t feel reassured of anything beca
use Swarley looks so lifeless.
“Don’t die. Don’t die. Don’t you dare die on me,” I chant to myself while pacing the waiting room. “You owe me for injuring my fingers.” I curl the fingers of my injured hand and pump them into a fist several times. The pain is gone, but I can’t completely bend them all the way. They are stiff. I took off to my dad’s house instead of staying home and going to physical therapy. It’s all Anthony’s fault—and Swarley’s fault. But I can’t blame him for anything right now because I just need him to not die.
As for Anthony, he can choke and die on a chocolate-covered pussy for all I care.
“Is he going to be okay?” I run into Jake’s arms when he opens the door to the waiting room.
“Meg called her nurse. She should be here soon. She thinks it could be GDV, basically a twisted stomach. He’s probably going to need surgery.”
“Oh my god …” Tears escape my burning eyes. I cry for my nemesis.
I cry because I have to call Sydney and tell her I failed her.
I cry because Swarley was the only one there for me right after Anthony cheated on me.
I cry because he’s old and I’m really, really scared.
“Shh …” Jake frames my face with his strong hands and kisses the tears from my cheeks. “Meg is going to fix him. Okay?” His lips brush mine, and I nod before kissing him.
And that’s what Megan does. She performs surgery to untwist Swarley’s stomach while I make the phone call I don’t want to make.
“Hello?” Sydney answers.
“It’s me.” I bite my lips together and take a slow inhale to keep from falling apart.
“Avery, where are you? Would it kill you to check in a little more often? I get that you lost your phone, but clearly you can call.” She’s in mom mode. Worried. And angry because I made her worry.
“I’m sorry.”
“Are you okay? Where are you?”
“I’m fine.” I walk to the opposite corner of the waiting room to distance myself from Jake. I don’t want him to see more of my insecurities and shame. “We’re in Flagstaff.”