by A. E. Murphy
It’s unlikely, but one can dream.
Panic grips me in a tight fist, not for myself but for my child. It feels as though no matter what I choose, his future will always be uncertain. I don’t care about myself, only him. He deserves the world. Can Calder give that to him?
My phone lights up with a text.
My thumb swipes the screen as my tongue teases my lower lip.
Niall: You’re just going to ignore me? I’m sorry about what happened. I didn’t mean what I said.
I type my reply out a hundred times before closing the message and tucking my phone under my pillow. My eyes cast a look to the bags by the door.
I need to go and withdraw my money tomorrow, I don’t know when they’re coming but I guarantee wherever we’re going I won’t be able to access my bank for a while.
This is exhilarating. Where to put it all though.
Today I met up with Melissa for ice cream, she looked so radiant and ready to burst her baby right out of her stomach. We had an hour together before I headed to Sadie’s. I think Melissa knew my goodbye would be my last for a while because she got teary and so did I. I didn’t tell her anything, I’m not dragging her into my mess.
Sadie sadly wasn’t home, so I made my way to the bank and then stopped in the doorway, making the man behind me walk right into my back. He apologised but I was too dazed to reply.
If I suddenly withdrew the fifty thousand in my bank account, would that raise alarms?
Cursing under my breath, I left and made my way home.
That’s where I am now, pacing my tiny apartment, wondering what it is I need to do. I’m blindly trusting two men who have no way to contact me and let me know things. Apart from the occasional discreet text.
As I’m looking at other solutions online, there’s a knock at my door and I know who it is before I open it. There’s only one person who is available and knows that I live here.
Niall.
I consider ignoring him but he knows I’m here. I’ve only been inside for ten minutes. I guarantee he waited for me to arrive home but left it a short while so I wouldn’t feel backed into a corner.
Will he ever stop?
Instead of buzzing him in, I head down to greet him at the entrance. He smiles softly but confusion furrows his brows.
“I can’t come up?”
I hesitate, not wanting to be a bitch but also after the other day, being around him is making me uneasy. “What’s wrong?”
“You’ve been ignoring me, I got worried.”
I look away for a moment. “I just need space to be by myself, Niall. It’s not personal. Or maybe it is…”
Blowing out a breath, he smiles sweetly at me, that smile I was once so in love with. “Maybe we can go for coffee?”
“That’s not a good idea. I think I said all that needed to be said.”
His gaze is blank but his hands fist by his sides. My body immediately becomes alert and I have the strangest instinct niggling at me to protect my stomach.
His tone is carefully calm but I can hear the bitterness. I know him too well. “You said everything you needed to say. I didn’t get the chance.”
“Oh, actually I think you did.” I close the door behind me, checking that my keys are in my back pocket first. “I don’t know why we have to keep rehashing it.”
Pushing his hands through his hair he looks around him and then zones in on my stomach. “I don’t get why you’re leaving me for this. It just doesn’t make sense.”
“I never had you down as an arrogant man, Niall.”
Part of me wishes I could just tell him I’m in love with Calder but I don’t want to hurt him like that and I also don’t want to risk screwing up our plans.
“But look at where you’re living and what you’re giving up!” He points to his chest with his thumb, his eyes wild like they were the last time we got into an argument about this. “I miss you. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep.” There’s a pause and then he finally admits, “I’m worried about your mental state.”
“Oh no, we are not going there again.”
His eyes are round with disbelief, his body solid like stone. “Look at this though. Why would you give what we had up for this?” He steps towards me, I step back, hoping he doesn’t come any closer. We’re in the street, not inside. Did I know this man at all? “We were amazing together. Just come back to me and we can keep trying. Okay?”
“Niall. No.” I raise my hand firmly, keeping my palm directed at his chest. He’s so close I can feel his heat on the pads of my fingers. “I don’t even know why you’re still interested. I’m pregnant with another man’s baby.”
“Nobody else knows that so it doesn’t matter.”
I shake my head. I can’t believe this is happening. “You’re joking, right?”
“Why would I joke about that?”
“Tell them then, it’s not my fault that they don’t know.”
He grits his teeth. “Please, Rain, just come for coffee with me. Spend some time with me. We might be able to reignite what we had.”
I press my lips together and count to ten in my mind. “Niall, I’m already seeing somebody.” A lie, but hopefully an effective one.
“No, you’re not,” he replies, his lips twitching with a type of maddening humour.
“You don’t know that.” I fold my arms across my chest. I don’t feel comfortable anymore.
“Yes, I do, apart from visiting your brother in hospital two weeks ago, Sadie, and that pregnant girl, you’ve not been with any other men.” He’s smiling as if it’s all totally normal that he knows this. Meanwhile my blood is turning cold.
“Have you been following me?”
He hesitates and smiles gently, like he always does when I need appeasing. This time it only causes me unease. “I’ve been worried, so I’ve been checking in.”
“I’m fine, Niall. I don’t need you to check in on me.”
“Of course I do, until that fucker is behind bars, he knows you’re my weakness. I can’t risk him taking you again.”
I blink slowly. “Niall, I’m in no danger from the captain. My brother has him handled.”
“I don’t believe that for a second.”
I shrug. “I don’t care what you believe, I care about myself and my baby. What I need for you to do is to leave me alone.”
“You know the reason he kidnapped you was for a piece of jewellery, right?”
That stops me. I’ve never known the reason why he kidnapped me.
“Well, the location of a man who was in possession of a ring that the captain wanted.”
I was kidnapped for a bloody ring? “Are you kidding me right now?”
“No. That’s how he values life, by objects. Your life was worth less than this ring to him.”
Of course, that’s heart-breaking, knowing that my life was upended, and I was nearly killed because of a bloody ring. But I’m still curious as to why he needed it and why it was so important.
“Did he get the ring?”
Niall nods. “It was confiscated when he was arrested in our bedroom.”
“Your bedroom,” I correct and twiddle my braid around my finger. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“You never asked and I wasn’t sure. I thought it was the man he wanted, until they found that man beaten to near death the night the pirate escaped. It was me that noticed the missing ring from his finger and me that noticed it in Calder’s possessions.” He looks so proud of this and months ago I’d have been proud of him too. Niall is incredible at figuring out small details, it’s what makes him so good at his job. He sees things that others don’t. “Though in all honesty, it’s a massive, hideous ring. I might not have noticed otherwise.”
“Well done, you,” I reply tiredly as my brain filters through this new information. “I have to go, Niall, please stop calling. Stop trying to contact me.”
“It’s just coffee, Rain, give me that at least.”
This time I’m the one who
grits my teeth. “Maybe next week. I’ll call you.”
“Next week?”
“Maybe you’ll have gotten over this by then.” I turn and quickly unlock the door before slamming it shut behind me. When will this drama end?
I can’t believe Calder kidnapped me in exchange for a fucking ring. He’s got some explaining to do. If he were here, I’d be throwing things.
Rubbing my belly, I ascend the stairs up to my grotty little flat, and lock the door behind me once inside. My boy gives me a kick under the ribs to remind me to stay calm and patient. So, I push all thoughts of Niall and Calder out of my brain and sit on my bed with a book.
It’s midnight, only just, when I hear banging at my door.
It startles me but then it registers. Could it be them? Could it be now?
I race to it and flip the latch before pulling down the handle.
Before it is even fully open I’m pulled into somebody’s arms and lips are connected to mine. I moan happily, relishing the sweet, minty taste of his tongue and lips as he devours me.
A hand cradles the back of my head and the other grips my rear, pulling my body flush into his as much as my bump will allow.
“We don’t have time for this,” my brother barks, yanking the captain away from me, pulling us both back into the now. “Let’s go.”
“Wait,” I look down at my plaid pyjamas but I don’t have time to dress. He grabs my bags that are by the door and Calder helps me slip my shoes on my feet after dropping to one knee. Kissing my stomach, he rises slowly, smiles devilishly at me, and nods for me to follow.
“Let’s go,” he says, taking my hand.
“Hello to you, sis,” River chuckles as we pass him.
“Hi,” I reply but my eyes are on the stairs I’m being pulled down. Every step is painful on my bladder and hips and my feet are aching already, but I don’t care. It’s time to go. We’re about to taste freedom again.
“This is how I imagined it to be the last time I broke into your bedroom,” Calder tells me, and for a moment I feel guilty, until he looks at me and I see nothing but love and amusement in the creases of his eyes.
His hand yanks the door open and we step into the warm night air. A car waits with the engine running at the bottom of the few steps, blocking the entrance to the carpark. It’s the very car I “borrowed” and paid a homeless guy to drive and leave in the hospital carpark. Not one of my finer moments but it needed to be done. The person I stole it from wouldn’t be using it any time soon anyway, they were in hospital with broken hips.
I’m guided into the back seat and then Calder races around the other side to climb in beside me that way. I could have shuffled up but I don’t say that. I’m too gobsmacked that this is actually happening. Both my brother and the captain are here, in blue jeans and different coloured T-shirts.
My brother is in front of me in the passenger seat, he twists around to smile at me and to say I return it would be an understatement.
“Drive,” Calder barks at the man in the front seat who I immediately recognise when he pulls the bandana from over his mouth.
“Larry!” I reach forward and squeeze his arm. “It’s good to see you.”
“Aye, you too, lass.”
Larry used to teach me how to do things on the ship, he was good to me, kind and gentle. Most of the men were once they got to know me.
“Where are we going?” I ask Calder and my brother as Calder caresses my stomach. He seems so in awe of my predicament, often times I am too.
“It’s better you not know, just in case we get caught on the way.”
“Not a chance is that happening,” Larry mumbles and I’m surprised when he doesn’t put his foot down. I half expected there to be some kind of mad dash through red lights and around waiting cars but he sticks to the speed limit and is mindful of the road ahead. I suppose it makes sense to not draw attention to ourselves.
“I’ve missed you,” Calder admits, nudging our noses together. “This will all be over soon.”
“I still can’t believe we pulled it off,” River announces loudly, beaming from ear to ear.
He’s turned in his seat again, looking at the man to my right.
“How did you pull it off?” I ask, raising a brow.
“One of my men lit a small fire in the floor above,” Calder explains and quickly continues when my face drops. “Nothing major, just enough for them to evacuate.”
“What about your guards?” I ask, hoping they’re okay too. They’re just trying to pay the bills after all.
“I knocked mine out and put him in my bed,” River looks so proud. “Then, with some dweeby scientist’s help, we did the same to his guard too. They’ll wake up with a headache, nothing major.”
“You mean Geoffrey?”
Calder nods, his eyes smiling. “He wanted to come and get you himself but I worried our plan would fail.”
His fingers gently push my hair behind my ear, I clasp my hand around his wrist and kiss him again. “I’m sorry I didn’t come with you last time.”
“I’m not,” River puts in. “Or I’d still be in there.”
“Fair point.”
“Reckon they know you’ve escaped yet?” I look around the quiet streets, half expecting a police car to come speeding around the corner, sirens blaring.
“No,” Larry replies and taps a small black device slotted into his ear. “I’d have heard it on the police scanner.”
“You’re so prepared… I thought you were all with Clunk now?” After everything that happened with Millie and what she said.
Larry lets out a bark of laughter. “Please, as soon as we realised what he’d done, we had him thrown overboard.”
“Seriously?” I think of the man’s wife and kid but I can’t find it in me to forgive him for what he did. I’d like to think he let me go out of the goodness of his heart, but we both know it was purely to trap Calder.
“We’d have gotten the captain sooner but he insisted on staying behind.” Larry’s eyes meet mine in the mirror. “Seems he didn’t want to leave without you.”
“That’s enough, Larry.” Calder sits closer to me, likely to help relax me because I just feel awful now.
We turn another corner and I snuggle into Calder’s side for warmth and security. “How long are we going to be driving for?”
Kissing my head, he places his hand on my thigh and pushes his fingers between them, just above my knees. “Three hours, hopefully less.”
“Yikes, that’s a long journey.” I hope my bladder can hold out.
“Tell me about him,” he whispers, turning towards me and placing his hand on my bump.
“Not much to tell, he’s male, he loves to kick me under my ribs, they think he’ll have a full head of hair.” I smile and brush my fingers through what’s left of Calder’s. “I hope it’s just like yours.” So thick and curly.
“You’re going to call him River, right?” my brother interjects, making Larry chuckle and Calder roll his eyes.
“Have you thought of any names you like?” Calder asks, his eyes genuinely curious.
I shy away from his gaze. He’s so handsome, the green in his eyes so vivid. “I thought we could do that together?”
“I like Larry,” Larry puts in and both he and River laugh together as Calder and I roll our eyes in our happy little bubble. In this moment I feel so happy and safe, I almost don’t want to leave. Whatever waits for us at the end of this journey is terrifying.
“Did you get sickness?”
I nod and shudder at the memory. “That part wasn’t so fun. It’s easier now, heavier, and achier, but I’m not as tired as I have been. Though according to baby books, that’ll change soon.”
“When we get to where we are going you’ll know comfort like nobody else.” He pulls me in for another kiss. “I’ll take care of you, both of you.”
“Does this car hold anything sentimental? It’s going to be burned later,” Larry says, smiling at me in the mirror. “You did a g
reat job getting it.”
“Please, my sister could steal the watch from your wrist and you wouldn’t notice. This was easy for her.” River has always boasted about my abilities, only because he taught me as a teen and then I outshone him.
“Nothing sentimental. Must you burn it though?”
“It’s for the best,” Calder whispers, kissing my jaw. “Try not to let it get to you.”
“I feel guilty.”
“Guilt is for pussies.” River reaches behind his seat and pinches my shin making me squeal, laugh, and move my legs out of the way. “Grow a pair of balls, sis. Your conscience will only hold you back.”
I don’t reply, what do I even say to that?
“Did you really throw Clunk overboard?”
“Too fucking right we did.”
I give Calder the side eye. “But Millie said that he had the ship that first day I saw you in prison.”
“We didn’t put the pieces together until then. Clunk insisted Captain had given the orders. We had to get in touch with Captain to see what was true. That fucker was tricky, he brought us back under the ruse we’d be helping Captain escape, it wasn’t until after that that we realised he was fucking our captain over.” Larry shrugs his shoulders. “We tossed him overboard a few hours later, Smeg took over Captain duties as best he could, I focused on bringing our captain home.”
“Thank goodness for you guys,” I mutter, thinking of how it could have gone so much worse. “Did you throw Millie overboard too?”
“Near the coastline, she can swim fine.”
I laugh once and immediately feel guilty for it. It’s no less than she deserved. Stupid cow.
“You smell so good,” Calder whispers, nuzzling my neck which makes me shiver and instantly wet between my thighs. I bite my lip and turn my head to give him more access to my sensitive skin. He obliges, nipping and kissing in gentle trails. His hand slides between my thighs, dragging the fabric of my pyjama bottoms up as he gets closer to my aching core.
