“Have an omelet,” I offered.
“You made me an omelet?”
“Yep,” I said, picking up the plate and handing it to him.
“Thanks, snowflake,” Chandler said, smiling.
“You are welcome,” I returned as I picked up another plate and handed it to Cayden.
“Where’s your omelet?” Cayden asked.
“I don’t feel like eggs.” I grabbed a bowl and poured some Captain Crunch into it.
“Huh,” Cayden grunted, but let the subject drop. Cayden sat at the bar, took a huge bite of his omelet and grinned. “This is great, thanks.”
“Cayden, babe, slow down and try to enjoy your food,” I said. He winked at me.
“Zander will be here soon,” Chandler interjected.
“Yeah, I figured,” Cayden replied.
Chapter Fourteen
Aftermath
I was washing up the dishes from breakfast when Cayden walked over and kissed me. His hands shimmied down the length of my back, pressing me forward, bowing my back, and pulling me into him. When his hand squeezed my butt, I dropped the plate in the sink. Soapy water splashed us both quite liberally. I stood there with my shirt splashed wet and a little breathless from the kiss.
“Thank you, baby, but you don’t need to wait hand and foot on me or my brother,” Cayden assured.
I smiled. “I like doing things for you. Anyway, it was omelets. I wouldn’t call eggs waiting on you hand and foot.”
“And we do have a dishwasher,” he commented.
“But you don’t use a dishwasher for two plates, a bowl, a pan, and some silverware. That is a waste of water and energy.” I laughed then felt my head spin, lightheaded again. Seeing the room tilt, I wobbled slightly. He wrapped his arms around my waist to steady me.
“Winter, you look as white as a ghost.”
I placed my hand to my head and admitted, “Head rush.”
Cayden looked at me with questions on his face. “Winter–” Cayden started. We heard the security buzzer. He heaved a sigh. “Zander’s here.”
“I should go change,” I replied, popping up on my toes, kissing him quickly then heading upstairs. I was saved by the bell or by the buzzer. I needed to tell him about the baby, but it wasn’t the right time.
Once I was upstairs, I headed for the bathroom to splash my face with cold water and brush my teeth. I looked a little washed out but I didn’t have time to put on make-up. I twisted my hair up with a clip, put on a much more respectable shirt and, of course, my bra followed by some capri pants. I gave one last glance in the mirror then headed back downstairs. I was worried about what Zander had to say regarding last night’s events plus I was a little concerned by what Cayden would say to Zander.
When I returned downstairs, Zander, Chandler, and Cayden where meeting in the family room. I heard the stress in Cayden’s voice before I even entered the room. This wasn’t going to be good.
“Hey,” Cayden greeted, smiling at me tenderly as I entered.
“Hey,” I said then focused on Zander. “Good morning, Zander.”
“Winter, good morning. How are you this morning?” Zander asked.
I smiled. “Fine.”
Cayden patted the couch beside him. I walked around the couch and took a seat. “Zander told us Dane will be detained for a while. He couldn’t make bail.” Cayden glanced back at Chandler briefly before returning his attention over to Zander. “I want the police to look into the connection between Dane and the letter we received.”
Zander leaned back in the leather chair. “I have already requested the police look into the letter but we have received another letter, Cayden.”
Cayden’s face was stone serious. “What does it say?”
Zander shot Cayden a look that Cayden seemed to understand. “About the same as the first letter,” Zander admitted. “This man is infatuated with Winter. He believes you are some kind of demon, and he believes he needs to take Winter away from you in order to save her soul from I believe he put it, ‘eternal damnation in burning flames.’”
Cayden stared at me with pain crossing over his features. He never broke his gaze from my eyes as he spoke saying, “Zander, we need to increase security. He will never touch her.”
“We will increase security at the estate in New York. Jayden will stay with Winter. I will have a couple more men dispatched to the estate grounds,” Zander replied.
“No, wait,” I interjected. “Cayden must have more security with him, too.”
“Winter, I will be fine. Please don’t worry about me. Your safety is the priority here,” Cayden said.
“Zander?” I protested.
Zander nodded in agreement with me. “Cayden, I think we should call Race back in.”
I asked, “Who’s Race?”
“He is another bodyguard but with special tactical skills,” Cayden replied, vaguely.
I needed some assurance of Cayden’s safety for my own sanity. I really felt like I was going to lose my mind or at the very least my breakfast. My stomach rolled, but I held it back. “And you all trust and know him well?”
“Yes,” Chandler interjected.
“I will have Race meet us at the airport in the morning,” Zander said. He glanced at me. “Winter, you look a little peaked. Please do not worry about all of this. Everyone will be fine, and no one will be harmed.” Even though he was speaking in the larger sense of everyone he was really trying to tell me Cayden would be all right. Zander peered down at his watch then at Cayden before he returned his attention back at me. “Cayden and I have an interview to complete this morning. The press is running ramped with the coverage from last night with their speculations about you and Cayden.”
I stared at Cayden with mild panic I was sure. “Take Jayden and Langdon with you. Cayden, you need to promise me to take them both. Promise me.” I heard the fear in my own voice.
“Shh….” Cayden hushed me softly and held onto my hand. He kissed the inner skin of my wrist and traced the tip of his nose gently up my inner arm. “I will, I promise,” he whispered.
“Thank you.” I exhaled. “What are you going to tell the press about last night?” I asked glancing over at Zander.
“That you were in danger. Cayden got to you first and both he and Chandler were trying to comfort you. You are not use to all the press or the spotlight so no one should believe you would have been okay last night. It should be expected the people who know you and care about you would comfort and protect you.”
“And do you think they will buy that?” I didn’t think anyone would buy that.
Zander shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“I need to go shower and change,” Cayden told me then looked at Zander strangely again. “I’ll be a few minutes then we can go.”
“I need to make some phone calls,” Chandler interjected and left the room behind his brother.
It was impossible to shake the feeling there was more going on here than I was being told. If this were actually the case it was Cayden trying to protect me. But then it hit me, the knowledge of what I feared struck me like a lightning bolt. A current of fear shot through me. If the threats in the letters were geared more toward Cayden than to me, he would not want me to know that information. Cayden wouldn’t want me to worry, but it was far too late. Worry was all I could do.
When Cayden left, I had my chance to ask some questions. I wasn’t sure I would get my answers though.
“Zander, you know I cannot endure or even think of someone trying to physically harm Cayden. You know I cannot live through it if someone would hurt him.”
“Winter, please calm down,” Zander said.
“Zander, I’m not dense. I know there is more going on than I am being told. I know if this is truly the case it’s because the threats have been geared toward Cayden. Dane knew Austin. If he is disturbed and confused enough to believe Cayden is some sort of twisted demon or evil apparition of Austin then he may try to go after Cayden. You did not see Dane’s
face, his eyes. It was like he was possessed.”
“Winter, Cayden is well-guarded, and you are well-guarded. You do not need to worry. If we can tie Dane to the letters, then with his past connection with you, and his behavior last night there is a very good chance he will be in jail for a while.”
“Zander, do you remember what I spoke to you about, if I would have to leave?”
“Yes.”
“If Dane is threatening Cayden because of me, maybe I should leave. If Dane knew I left he would leave Cayden alone. Why bother Cayden if I’m not with him?” I looked down and twisted Cayden’s ring around and around on my finger. “Zander, Cayden would never let me go. He would not let me go to save himself. I would need to make it so Cayden had no choice. The only way would be for Cayden to think I had to go for myself. If he believed I could not stay, could not live this way and if I asked him to let me go, for me….” My head pounded. My heart thumped hard, and there was a deep ache that I knew well. I placed my hands to my face in an attempt to hide away from my own words, my own thoughts of leaving.
“Winter, you and Cayden do love each other. I have never seen two people so willing to protect each other, so terrified of losing the other they would do anything to keep the other safe. I know how scared you are, and I understand why. I know how hard this relationship is, and I also understand why.” Zander’s voice became quiet, remorseful. “I am sorry I asked you to come to New York.”
I was surprised by his last comment. I felt the shock fly over my face. I looked up to see he was quite serious. “Why do you say that? I can never be sorry. It is because of you I found Cayden.”
“I knew how much Cayden was like Austin but I never told you, warned you, because you said you did not want to meet him. Then you found him, and I knew once you saw him you would be altered. But even before any of this, I knew how Cayden felt about you. I knew how hard this was going to be yet I did it anyway, I asked you to come to New York. Maybe you would have been better off not knowing him.”
“No!” I protested. “No matter what happens I am better off having loved Cayden. He is the reason for my life, Zander.”
Zander glanced down and nodded in agreement. I took in a deep breath. My stomach wanted to stage a protest. I wasn’t going to be able to stop the coming need to vomit. I placed my hand to my mouth, shot up from the couch, and ran to the hallway restroom where I did indeed dispose of my morning Captain Crunch. I splashed water over my face and rinsed out my mouth before returning back to Zander. He looked puzzled yet never said anything.
“Still some issues with the flu,” I commented. “Cayden doesn’t need to know. He worries too much, and there is nothing to worry about.” I took my seat on the couch again.
“Hum,” Zander mumbled and by the tone, I wasn’t sure he was buying my flu story.
I heard Chandler’s husky voice break in. “What does Cayden not need to worry about?”
“Nothing,” I said, irritated.
“Chandler, are things settled in New York?” Zander asked.
Chandler’s husky voice seemed to deepen. “Yes, everyone will be expecting us tomorrow and the estate is covered already. There hasn’t been any issues there.”
I felt lips kiss the top of my head before hands fondled my shoulders. “Zander and I will be a couple of hours then I will be home, here with you. I am taking Jayden and Langdon so please do not worry, baby,” Cayden said.
“Okay.”
“Wow!” Chandler interjected with a low chuckle. “That was easy. No arguments or pouting, I am impressed.”
Chandler’s smug tone set my teeth on edge. I turned around on the couch and gave Chandler a glare. “Glad I could impress you for once!” I snapped.
Cayden laughed and squeezed my shoulders.
“There, see that Cayden, that look right there.” Chandler pointed as I glowered at him. Chandler let out a booming laugh. “I am telling you she is tougher than we give her credit for. I think she wants to rip my face off.”
Cayden took his fist and hit Chandler on the top of his arm.
“Hey!” Chandler protested.
Cayden laughed wickedly. “You better be nice to my baby, or I may just let her rip your face off.”
“Ha. Ha,” I replied sarcastically but had to smile when Cayden skimmed his finger down my cheek, completely turning me into mush.
“Do you know how beautiful you are when you are mad?” Cayden said, smiling. Any irritation I may have had was gone.
It was painful to watch Cayden leave for the interview. Every fear of losing him plagued my thoughts. This fear was a deep seeded part of me. No way to get rid of it. Chandler urged me to watch the interview, but even with Chandler present to give me assurance, I couldn’t watch it. The photographs taken at the premiere did not lie. I believed the interview to be a wasted effort and had no doubt the press would only hound Cayden and me further. I would come to accept the press and even accept their hounding me, if I had to, but it hurt me for Cayden. He already suffered great loss from their constant coverage of him.
Sadly people believe fame, money, and a life in which Cayden lives is somehow ideal. They truly believe Cayden has no worries, never understanding, making sly or hurtful comments.
“Cayden, don’t complain about all the press coverage, man. It’s part of your job, and it makes you all the coin you spend so get over it, pretty boy.” This comment came from a morning disc jockey. I listened to his wisdom over the radio while taking a shower one morning.
I even heard one commentator say to his co-host while discussing Cayden, “So how hard could it be to be adored and have women scream your name while throwing their hotel keys and underwear at you?”
But imagine the fevered frenzy of a crowd as they scream so loud you can’t hear yourself think. The sound becomes one loud surge of screeching, piercing through your ears, continuing nonstop. You feel trapped, boxed in by the sound as if it wants to destroy you. You physically experience the sound, almost taste it. The crowd becomes a mob, losing any thought of the individual, only becoming focused as one living breathing entity with one solitary goal, to reach the object of their lust and affection. The energy, the emotion, the sheer force of the writhing crowd mixes into the sounds then against you. It overtakes your senses.
The mob moves, twist, sways toward the object of its desire. It has to reach its object at any cost. Those mobs of frenzied fans leave themselves behind. They push so hard against the others in the crowd that people get hurt and knowing if they reach you, you could be hurt. Even with the bodyguards, Cayden has come out of the swell of crowds with his pocket, the arm of his shirt, the collar of his coat torn from place.
Cayden’s been cornered in parking garages, elevators, hotel hallways, and in public restrooms. He truly understands what it is like to be stalked, watched, and spied upon. He’s had women try to kiss him, women try to lick him, and women take off their clothes in public trying to gain his attention even if it’s for a fleeting moment in time. He’s had boyfriends cuss him for their girlfriend’s attention toward him. Men spit at him, throw drinks at him, and some come on to him, offering him a taste of what he’s been missing in the heterosexual world. One guy even offered to suck him off in the dressing room where he was being fitted for a tux.
I thought about the press, the fans, the overall belief that holds Cayden has nothing to complain about because he is rich, handsome, and can date anyone, buy anything, go anywhere and do anything he wants. Cayden is living a glamorous life without a care in the world. How wrong everyone is in their assumptions.
I thought about how simple things cannot be done. Cayden is unable to go into a store to shop without people swarming him and hordes of photographers showing up. Bodyguards are a necessity. If Cayden wants to acquire something, he has people shop for him. And yet with all his money, what do you buy when you are trapped by the items you obtain? The house he bought is beautiful but Cayden is secluded behind walls, gates, hi-tech security, trying to keep the world out. H
e purchased a Porsche; it is a beautiful sleek black car that he can’t use so it sets beneath a sheet in the garage. It is impossible for Cayden to go for a ride in his own car without causing a stir, but even if he went, where could he go? Everywhere he would go someone would recognize him.
Cayden loves music, but he cannot go to a concert, stand in the crowds and enjoy the concert like everyone else. Cayden would need to make special arrangements and sit secluded in hiding if he wanted to attend. Cayden loves books so he created his own personal collection, but the sad fact of the matter is it became impossible to go into a bookstore to read without causing chaos to breakout around him. Nothing as simple as going for a walk through the park, putting gas in his car, buying underwear, or getting a haircut can be done like anyone one else in the world.
Cayden has people who give him his itinerary, where he will be going, who he will be seeing. He runs over his schedule with Melissa on a daily basis. If Cayden wants to do something just for himself, it is scheduled in and around all of the other meetings, interviews and other press related events he attends. Cayden told me once all of the press junkets are in reality just a sales pitch, and he hates it, but he does it because it is part of his job. I can hear his words play out in my head saying, “I’m selling a product, selling pieces of myself.”
Cayden gets no real downtime as he has worked nonstop for the past five years. He can’t wake up one morning and make a decision to do something or go somewhere because it would interfere with his already booked schedule. He has celebrated his own birthday on location with the cast and crew only to work until one a.m. before going to an empty hotel room. He’s left events and flown across the country without sleep to attend another scheduled event. Cayden tried to spend last Christmas with his aunt only to fly nonstop to England, spend one day with her then flew right back to California for a photo shoot. He found himself in secluded room, recording commentary for his last DVD release on Easter and filming over his brother’s birthday only spending forty-five minutes with Chandler while they downed tacos and tried to outwit the paparazzi.
Eternal Page 17
