Cayden travels to different cities and countries to promote his films, complete interviews, do photo shoots but he doesn’t get the chance to see any of the places he travels, being locked behind walls, gates, and doors. Security becomes the focal point not scenery, monuments or special places of interest. He squanders a lot of his time inside hotels, but not because he wants to. In fact, he spends more time in hotels than in his own home. Cayden went to France and Japan as part of a promotional tour last year. He never left his hotel after his interviews where complete due to the crowds gathered to see him. In Japan, there were over twenty thousand people gathered. It becomes easier to stay in than to go out. Easier to pull far inside yourself; hide yourself from the prying eyes of the world.
Cayden went to Spain but the crowds were so rowdy it took five bodyguards to get him through the airport, carrying him in order to keep him safe from the mangle of people who wanted to touch him. Cayden went to Italy for a photo shoot, and sadly was unable to explore any of the beautiful countryside. Once the shoot was over, he boarded a plane and headed back to California. Cayden spends hours in cars and planes to go places he can’t enjoy. He only sees the landscape out the windows of his hotel, the plane and from behind the tented black glass of his limo or SUV. Cayden is trapped by his fame.
Yet even worse than all of that, he is not free to love. And while he feels he is free to love me, he is in reality just as trapped. We are entrenched behind enemy lines, creating distractions to keep the press at bay, hiding our lives behind closed doors, stealing time to be together but never fully liberated. The tangles of lies we have allowed in order to be together are just spinning finer and finer webs, connecting one lie to the other. Soon, we will have a room full of cobwebs only to find somewhere caught in the middle will be the reality of our relationship. But he would say the lies do not really matter because he is trying to safeguard me from his world. I have thought about that quite a bit since meeting Cayden. And both of us know the truth whether we want to admit it or not. Within this truth you ask, how do you shelter someone from something you yourself are not protected from?
Making my way to the pool, I pondered all of these things. Once at the edge of the blue water, I sat on the side of the pool and gazed out onto the city. What a different world I saw from this perspective, gazing out into the distance of that world below. A conversation I had with myself when I first realized Austin lived in a much different world than I popped into my head. I remember telling a much younger version of me I would push the sphere of my world into Austin’s and walk in. That is what I have done. Pushed the sphere of my world into Cayden’s and walked in. Here sat Winter Perri, an older but perhaps none the wiser rendering. She was on the inside looking out on the world she left. That world had become a strange world, vaguely familiar. But then I may have to enter the strange world I left in order to ensure Cayden’s world, however different, no matter how confining, went on.
I splashed my feet in the water of the pool tilting my chin up to look into the large blue sky. The sun bright and shining. The sky was tattooed with white long wisps of clouds. The clouds appeared fragile, almost breakable, as if the blue sky could not hold on to them in fear of their destruction. The sky was larger than life, the clouds weak. They were trying to cling within a space that could not contain them or protect them. I understood the skies fear so I closed my eyes unable to see it.
I pulled the clip out of my hair, setting it free. It fell as a slight breeze sweep through it, brushing intermittent pieces of long caramel strands across my face. I heard the wind combing through the palm trees that dotted the property. The sound reminded me of another distant memory. The night Austin and I were on the beach at Martha’s Vineyard when the breeze made whooshing sounds through the reeds and tall spiky grass up on shore. That was the sound of this breeze on this day that rustled through the palms.
I had the feeling I was no longer alone. I felt him. The connection. The pull of my love. Cayden was near so I opened my eyes and turned around. He was standing at the far edge of the pool, watching me. I smiled at him, and he smiled back. We did not move from our designated spots. We stared at each other for a long moment, under the sun, in the breeze, standing in Cayden’s world, silent.
Chapter Fifteen
Under Lock and Key
I met Race on the plane back to New York. He was an older man with silver hair and dark almost navy blue eyes. He sported a short graying well-groomed beard. He dressed casual, wearing cargo pants and a buttoned-up white linen shirt. He had a deep voice, almost bass-sounding and seemed to carry himself with a sense of assurance, not rudeness. He sat with Jayden and Langdon on the plane, plotting out the coming week in New York for both Cayden’s film shoot in the city along with my stay at the estate. It was as if he was the higher-ranking officer here, so everyone else would fall into line without question.
We were halfway through the flight when my stomach attacked me again. I got up and made my way to the restroom on the plane. I needed to be quiet. I turned on the water in the sink in an attempt to hide the fact I was evacuating my stomach. I must have stayed in the restroom too long because I heard Cayden knocking on the door.
Tap, tap, tap.
“Winter, baby,” Cayden called.
“Just a second,” I returned.
I glanced at myself in the mirror and combed through my hair with my fingers. I had to tell him about the baby soon. I rinsed out my mouth twice before turning the water off. My face looked too pale. I started pinching my cheeks, trying hard to gain some needed color. When my cheeks were rosy, I straightened my shirt, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
Cayden stared intently at my face, brushed his finger down my cheek then smiled. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I assured, taking his hand in mine, finding our seats.
He watched me pull some mints out of my bag, popping two into my mouth. I handed the mints over in offer. He took one.
“Baby,” he said after a few minutes of silence. “You would tell me if there was something wrong.” He wasn’t asking he was speaking as though he were convincing himself of the fact. I did something I had never been able to do before. I looked into his clear blue-gray eyes and lied.
“You know I would tell you, there is nothing wrong.”
Cayden studied me for a minute with questions in his eyes and on his face. Sure I was caught; I started to divert my eyes, but stopped when he smiled at me. “Winter, you know you are my life. You know I love you more than life itself. You know there is nothing I would not do for you. You know there is nothing you could not tell me.”
“I know,” I said. He kissed me until my head spun.
When we landed in New York, it was business as usual. Cayden left to continue filming while I went back to the estate, only this time there were more bodyguards, and I never left the estate. I was trapped inside the walls, not even able to go for a walk with Jayden. I had to settle for wandering around the property inside the walls so I found a neat little spot to sit in the garden in which I imagined being bloomed.
After a lengthy cell phone call from my friend Jewel, who saw the press coverage and wanted to check on me, I heard Jayden’s voice calling my name, “Winter….”
I turned to see him, standing stiff-armed. He was much more serious than usual, and he was positioned directly behind me. “What’s wrong?”
“I think you should come inside with me.”
Something was truly wrong.
“Is Cayden all right?”
“Yes. He is fine, please don’t worry,” Jayden assured me.
“Jayden,” I said. I left my spot in the garden and walked to his side. “Can I ask you to do something for me?”
“Anything you need.”
“I only need one thing. What I am going to ask of you is the most important request of my life, only I can’t tell you why I am asking.”
Jayden removed his dark sunglasses and stared at me. A strange emotion shot over his usual stoic face.
“All right,” he replied.
“There may come a time in which I cannot stay with Cayden.” I paused to gather my breath. I closed my eyes for a moment before steeling myself and then looked back up at Jayden. “If this happens, I need you to promise me you will stay with Cayden. Keep him safe. He is the most important person in my life, more important than even myself. I could not live if something happened to him. Promise me, Jayden. Promise you will keep him safe.”
Jayden reached out and placed a massive hand on the top of my right shoulder. “Winter, you have my word.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
No doubt something was going on, not to mention extremely wrong, when Cayden came home on Wednesday afternoon instead of Thursday night. It was also evident I wouldn’t be privy to what the trouble was. I studied Cayden’s face when he came out from behind closed doors with Zander, Race, and Chandler. He was trying hard to hide something from me. I had no choice but to be calm even if calm was the last thing I could accomplish. It seemed to set Cayden’s mind at ease when life went on as usual, so I would go on as if nothing was wrong.
“What do you want to do tonight?” Cayden asked.
“Let’s watch a movie,” I suggested.
Cayden smiled. “What do you want to watch?”
“One of your movies.”
“Why?” he asked as though I were crazy for even mentioning it.
“I have never seen any of your work.” I fibbed a bit. I’d seen pieces of his movie Longing. “Please,” I begged.
“How about a classic or a good horror movie?”
“No.” I pouted and scrunched up my nose. “One of yours.” I looked up at Cayden rather pathetically and fondled his stomach with my fingers. “Please, please Cayden. Please, babe.”
“You know I can’t say no to you when you beg me like that.”
“So is that a yes?” I asked
“Whatever you want, baby.”
I did a little bounce in place. A victory dance of sorts.
“Do that again,” Cayden said with his crooked guilty smile.
I looked at him a bit confused. “Do what?”
“That little jump you just did. It was extremely pleasurable to watch.”
I smiled an evil grin. “This?” I said and bounced in place again.
“Oh yeah,” Cayden said quiet sexy. “Again.”
“Cayden, you are being naughty.”
“I am,” he admitted. “Do it again.”
So I conceded to his wish and did it again. His eyes flashed. He made a little growling sound then reached out and touched my breasts.
“So you like them do you?”
He bit his bottom lip as he said, “Very much.”
I moved his hands. He frowned.
“Tell you what, babe. I’ll make you a deal.”
Cayden smiled his guilty crooked smile. He was being a bad boy.
“What kind of a deal?” he inquired, almost sly.
“I will make us some popcorn. You get one of your movies. I don’t care which one. Clear everyone out of the media room, because it’s our movie night. We will watch your movie in the dark, and I will let you touch them.”
“Really? So I can touch them and then what?” he asked.
“Maybe I will even let you get to second base and touch them under my shirt.”
I giggled. Cayden’s eyes glinted.
“And then what?” he asked.
I smiled.
“Maybe we can do a little heavy petting, perhaps make out, too.”
“Deal!” he replied quickly, turning on his heels and heading for the media room. It was then I heard him. I had to laugh. “Everybody get the hell out! My baby and I are going to watch a movie, and we want to be alone.”
Tactful.
I made a huge bowl of popcorn, covered it in butter and salt then proceeded into the media room. Cayden had come up with one of his movies. I have no idea where it came from and I did not ask. The movie was in the Blu-ray player. The lights were off, and Cayden was sitting with a very large, very guilty smile on his face. He looked at me from beneath those gorgeous dark thick lashes.
“You are going to be a bad boy, aren’t you?” I asked, smiling impishly.
“Perhaps.” He watched me. “Right here,” he directed, so I set the popcorn down on the table beside him. Once the bowl hit the table, he pulled me onto his all too willing lap. “Mmm…just where I wanted you.” He tapped my ass.
I looked Cayden straight in his cerulean eyes. “Now, I do want to actually watch this movie,” I informed him before I pushed play on the remote.
He reached over with one hand, grabbed a huge pile of popcorn, and unceremoniously stuffed it into his mouth. His other hand was on my ass. I giggled but started watching his movie. As in life, his presence on the screen was mesmerizing. I felt his lips in my hair. On my neck. I stayed focused on the movie while his hands wandered under my shirt where he quickly located my bra, unhooking it. He was extremely skilled as well as speedy at unhooking my bras. I glanced at him briefly.
His dark blue eyes flickered. “You said I could.” Cayden flashed me his bright white smile, teeth glimmering.
“Okay, but I really am watching this movie. And by the way, you are wonderful,” I said.
He grinned as his warm hand cupped my right breast. “Thanks, I try.”
“I mean you are wonderful in this movie.”
Cayden’s low even laugh was his response.
I continued to watch the movie on the big screen while Cayden continued his expedition with my body. It was rather weird and wonderful to be watching him on the TV, sitting in his lap, and feeling his warm hands roam over my skin. Then again, it was a dream come true, all things Cayden in real life as well as in fantasy. He was extremely sexy on the screen but even sexier in real life. I was happy to have the real life version with me.
As I watched, an action scene caught and held my attention, mixed in with Cayden’s two warm hands on both of my breasts. His lips were at my ear whispering naughty things.
I protested. “Cayden, this is a really good part.”
“I can tell you what happens.” He laughed.
“Yeah, but that will ruin the movie if you tell me.”
“Come on, baby. I want to make out now,” he pled. He kissed me. I tasted butter mixed with the salt from the popcorn still on his lips.
His tongue danced with mine for a long time before he pulled back and began sucking my lower lip. I giggled. He kissed down my jaw until he came to the side of my neck.
“We haven’t finished our heavy petting yet,” I commented, unzipping his pants.
Cayden’s voice changed as he spoke. It was eager. “You are right. I changed my mind. Let’s do the heavy petting.”
I kept my gaze on the screen. I also put my hands down his pants. It was extremely hard to watch the movie, so I gave up looking at the screen and turned my interest to him. Cayden was enormously into the heavy petting portion of our evening. I love to watch the expressions on his face when I touch him, not to mention the sounds he makes when I stroke him. As usual, I wasn’t disappointed with his expressions or his low groans. I wrapped my hand around him. He pulsated, throbbed in my hand.
“Cayden, please take off your shirt. My hands are busy with your cock at the moment.”
“Anything you want,” he said, removing it. He smirked. “Say that again.”
I acted innocent, batting my lashes. “What? Your cock?”
“Shit, baby,” he said. “I love it when you talk dirty.”
My lips found his chest. Cayden’s hands tangled in my hair. I slid from his lap. My knees hit the floor. He smiled when I scooted up between his legs.
“Um…I think your pants need to go too.” So I tugged them off with his help.
“Take off your shirt,” he instructed.
I conceded to his request by pulling it up over my head and off. My hair fell down over my shoulders. Cayden stared at me. Blue eyes blazing. His hands moved
my hair as his warm wet mouth caressed my breasts. He shot a current of pleasure through me when his teeth lightly bit my right nipple then my left. He gently sucked each of them, followed by blowing his warm breath across the perky pink tips. I moaned. My nipples peaked hard.
“Nice…,” he whispered appreciatively.
“Cayden,” I said as my hand moved along the girth and length of him. “This is very nice too. Nothing about you could ever be improved upon.” He gave me his crooked grin.
“Tell me what you are going to do, baby.”
I looked up at him, my mouth inches from my goal. “I’m going to suck your cock, babe.”
Cayden’s lids lowered, hungry looking. “You like my cock, baby?”
My lips moved toward his perfect creation that I held in the palm of my hand, almost touching the tip. “Yes.”
“Glad you like it,” he said in his scintillating voice.
“Oh, I love it,” I confirmed. “And Cayden….”
“Yes, baby?”
“You’re going to touch my breasts while I’m sucking you.”
Cayden let out a low groan in response and shifted on the couch. He seemed to sink deeper into the leather cushion as my lips, mouth, and tongue found pleasure. He let out a low almost growl when I took him in my mouth. I moaned as he played with my nipples and watched me suck him. Cayden’s voice rang out over the speakers. The light in the room flickered from bright to dim as the images of his movie changed on the screen behind me. I swirled my tongue around the head of his cock, sucked the tip then took him all the way into my mouth until he hit the back of my throat. Cayden’s hands moved from my breasts. He touched my face, urging my mouth to stop. I slid my mouth up the length of him slowly before I stopped with one last suck. His fingers outlined my lips while I did this.
“Damn, baby,” he said breathless. Cayden hefted me up onto his lap. My legs straddled him.
“Did you like that?” I whispered in his ear. My tongue flicked his earlobe.
“Yes, I love it,” he said. His hands found my waist. He rocked me against him.
Eternal Page 18
