Be Here Now: A Cedar Creek Novel

by Julia Goda

  Was that it?

  No, that didn’t make any sense.

  He had no idea what she meant. But he could tell by the tone in her voice that she had no intention of talking to him. He was not going to get through to her.

  Jason closed his eyes in frustration as he lost sight of Loreley when she turned the corner.

  He had promised himself that this time, he would not let her walk away, that he would do whatever was needed to get her back. So far, he had been extremely unsuccessful. But he wouldn’t give up. He would fight for what he wanted, for what he needed.

  But in order to do that, he needed answers. And he didn’t care what he had to do. He would move heaven and earth to get them.

  He would also need proof he hadn’t cheated on Loreley if he wanted her to give him a chance.

  So his first order of business would be to get in touch with Murphy.

  Then he’d talk to Chris. Judging by his reaction to seeing him last night, that could be painful. Chris had looked ready to rip his head off. But if he wanted answers, there was no one else who knew more about Loreley than Chris.

  Or Cal.

  But talking to Loreley’s overprotective big brother would be a last resort.

  Chapter 4

  LORELEY

  I was stepping out of the shower when my phone rang. Grabbing a towel and wrapping it around me, I walked into the living room where I had left my phone on the table and put it to my ear.

  It was Chris.

  “Hey,” I answered the phone.

  “Hey back. You forget something?”

  “I don’t think so. Why?”

  “Because there is a certain someone here ready to measure and discuss your plans for the new stage.”

  Oh shit. I had completely forgotten that Cal was coming to the bar. With everything that had happened last night and this morning, that had completely slipped my mind.

  He was gonna be pissed I stood him up.

  “Shit, Chris. I totally forgot. How mad is he?” I asked while I ran to the bedroom, tripping over my clothes on the way, and headed to the closet to find clean clothes to wear.

  “His face hasn’t turned red yet, but he’s seriously unhappy,” Chris said.

  “Shit. Do me a favour. Tell him where we want the new stage to go and what we need it to look like. I’ll be there in ten minutes tops.”

  “Already on it. He’s measuring as we speak, but he still wants to talk to you, so get your ass in gear,” Chris ordered right before he gave me dead air.

  I rushed through brushing my teeth, dried off my hair with a towel half-heartedly, fixed it in a loose bun on top of my head, got dressed in a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and was on the road only minutes after Chris called me.

  I pulled into the parking lot behind Cooper’s only five minutes later.

  Cooper’s had been in the family for thirty-five years. My dad had opened it when he was only twenty-three years old, had used up all his savings to buy the building that didn’t look much better than a shack back then.

  Now, I was running the bar with him—was a co-owner actually— and it felt good to continue the family legacy. Even though I had grown up helping my dad out and had taken over doing the books for him by the time I was sixteen, owning a bar had never been my dream job. But life happened and I was happy here. My dad and I were a good team. He was still the hard worker he always had been and took his shifts, not as often as he used to—which would mean every night—but he was behind the bar probably two to three times a week. He had a great head for business and had expanded the bar and added the stage to have live music at least once a week over the years. He didn’t always stay on top of things with the paperwork, but it didn’t matter since I didn’t mind doing it.

  When I opened the back door, I could hear male voices talking and chuckling over rock music softly playing in the background.

  A good sign.

  Cal couldn’t be too mad if he was chuckling.

  I walked through the back hall and turned the corner by the restrooms into the main part of the bar. Cal and Chris were standing at the wall to my right past the bar, looking down at some sheets of paper, Cal drawing and explaining, Chris’ eyes glued to the paper, his head nodding.

  “See this side? The stairs can go right here closer to the wall so the bands don’t have to wade through the crowd to get up and down the stage like they have to now. Easier for them, less hassle for you. Put a guy by the stairs if you have some bigger band play and you don’t have to worry about people trying to get up there.” Cal explained.

  “Sounds good, man. That would definitely make it easier to handle the crowds when it gets busy,” Chris agreed.

  “Hey guys,” I called out when I got closer to them. Both their heads shot up at hearing my voice. Chris took in my appearance and gave me an amused smile while Cal’s eyes took me in and his eyebrows shot up mockingly as he said, “Well, look who is gracing us with her slightly dishevelled appearance. If it isn’t the squirt herself.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “I’m twenty-nine years old, Cal. Long past being anyone’s squirt,” I snapped. His lips twitched slightly before he turned back to Chris and said, “All right, we’ll do it the way we discussed. I’ll order the material today, send two of my guys to start tomorrow morning, you’ll have a new stage by the end of the day. You got a band booked for the weekend?”

  “Yeah. Our regulars from Boulder. Breaking Habit. Place is always packed when they’re playing. Having the new stage done by then would help a lot. Plus, it’s Lore’s birthday this week, so we’ve got lots to celebrate.”

  I rolled my eyes at that, but neither of them noticed. I didn’t like making a big deal out of my birthday and could only imagine what Chris had planned to get me in the mood to celebrate.

  “It’ll be done. Talk to you later,” Cal said as he shook Chris’ hand, then he collected all his papers as well as his measuring tape and pencil and headed towards the front door.

  “Uh, Cal?” I called.

  “Yeah?” He asked, turning his head to look at me over his shoulder but not stopping.

  “I thought you wanted to talk to me?”

  “No need,” he answered as he reached the front door and opened it.

  “Then why did I hustle my ass here?” He looked at me again and gave me his shit-eating grin, telling me without words that that was his revenge for standing him up.

  “You’re an ass, Cal,” I snapped at him, mad at myself that I fell for his play. I should have known better. His grin widened.

  “Mom and dad are coming over for dinner tonight. Bring Roy and Chris. Ivey is making some fancy chocolate dessert.”

  Ivey was making dessert. And it had chocolate in it. Pretty much anything Ivey cooked or baked up in her kitchen was flippin’ fantastic, but Cal knew I wouldn’t be able to say no to the chocolate. Yeah, it was a cliché, but chocolate always got to me, mellowed me out instantly. Cal knew this and had used it frequently over the years when he did something that pissed me off.

  “Sure,” I said, shrugging my shoulders, trying to be aloof about it. Cal chuckled.

  “All right, squirt, see you at six,” he said as he turned and disappeared out the door.

  “I am not a squirt!” I shouted after him and heard another deep chuckle before the door closed behind him.

  Ass, I thought.

  “You know he’s only calling you that to get a rise out of you, right? And you play into it every time he does it,” Chris said.

  I knew this. Still, I couldn’t not react. It was probably childish and immature, but I didn’t care. I hated it when Cal called me a squirt. I wasn’t a squirt. I wasn’t even short. Or small. Yes, I had been a skinny little thing as a child when he had come up with that ridiculous nickname, but I wasn’t a skinny kid or a gangly teenager anymore. I had filled out and had some nice curves in the right places, long legs. I looked the opposite of a squirt. It was annoying.

  I scowled at Chris before I changed the su
bject.

  “So you two got the new stage all figured out?”

  “Yup. It’s all good.”

  “It’s gonna look the way we talked about, right? At this side of the bar, at least double the size, two feet higher up,” I asked him suspiciously. Chris looked at me.

  “Yes, boss. It’s gonna look almost exactly like what we discussed. Cal came up with a better idea of where the stairs should be, but that’s it. Don’t worry. What? You don’t trust us to do the job?”

  I sighed. Of course I trusted them to do the job right and give the bar exactly what it needed. I was still pissed off from dealing with Jason earlier.

  “What’s up, Lore? You’re not usually this grouchy after a run.”

  I sighed again. “I ran into Jason this morning and we had words.”

  “Did he corner you again?” Chris was instantly alert and looked like he was ready to hunt Jason down.

  God, I loved him.

  Chris was one of the few people who had seen me at my worst, who had done whatever it took to help me out of that deep dark hole that had swallowed me up last year. We had been best friends since college, had even dated for a short time when we first met until we realized we were better as friends. We were tight. He had quit his job and moved to Cedar Creek for me, to help me get back on my feet and never left.

  Without him, I didn’t know where I’d be today.

  I owed him my life. Literally.

  “No, he didn’t. It was outside the grocery store on the sidewalk so he didn’t have much of a chance.” Chris relaxed slightly when I told him what had happened and what Jason had said.

  “You’re joking. He wants you back?”

  “Apparently.”

  “I don’t get it. It doesn’t make sense.”

  “No, it doesn’t.” Chris said nothing. His face was contemplative. And worried.

  “I’m fine, Chris. You’ll see, he’ll leave soon enough and everything will get back to normal. Let’s stop talking about him. This day is hard enough as it is without me having to worry about what he’s up to.”

  Chris’ eyes grew tender and sad. He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. “Of course, Lore. I’ll drop it.” He held me for a few moments in silence before he said, “I can stay over for longer than just tonight if you need me to.”

  I lifted my head from his chest and looked up at him. “I appreciate the offer and I’m very grateful that you’re staying with me tonight. But I’ll be okay. You need to stop babying me.”

  “What if the reason for me wanting to stay with you is purely selfish?”

  I wouldn’t believe it for a second. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean staying with you for a few nights would prevent me from sticking my dick in any pussy offering. Might do me some good.”

  I laughed silently. “Trouble in bachelor paradise?”

  Chris’ return grin died. “Not really. Sometimes I just get tired of it, you know?”

  “Tired of being one of the hottest guys in town and having your pick of the litter?” I asked him incredulously.

  “Yeah,” he answered to my astonishment. “I don’t know. Sometimes I just want more than the emptiness of a casual fuck. You know the last time I’ve been on an actual date?”

  I thought about it for a second. Then I thought about it some more. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember Chris ever taking a girl out on more than one date. Not since he had come to Cedar Creek last year. And not at college. He saw a lot of action, always had, but they were all one-night stands with barflies who didn’t mean anything to him. Easy girls. Always pretty, not always nice, but always pretty and easy. Maybe too easy.

  “Yeah. That’s right. Neither do I, it’s been so long,” he said when I didn’t speak.

  “I thought that’s how you wanted it. I don’t remember you ever taking anyone out on more than once. Well, other than me, that is,” I said, frowning.

  He smiled at me.

  “Yeah, other than you I haven’t been dating. Actually, since you I haven’t been dating.”

  Uh oh. I didn’t like the sound of that. He wasn’t… No. That was impossible. I would know if he had feelings other than best friend love for me. We were too close and spent too much time together for him to be able to hide anything like that.

  I was still standing in the loose hold of his arms, so I felt it when Chris’ body shook with silent laughter.

  “Lore, babe, you should see your face.”

  “What?”

  “You’re panicking. Don’t worry. I’m not holding a torch for you,” he answered my unasked question, proving that he could read my exact thoughts on my face. “We are great as friends. The best. We didn’t work as a couple. Doesn’t mean that I don’t miss being part of a couple.”

  “Where is this coming from? Have you met someone and she isn’t falling for your charms?”

  He shook his head. “No, haven’t met anyone. And I won’t if I keep chasing tail the way I’ve been doing. At least not the kind I want. I want something real, something good. I won’t find that if all I do is hook up with convenient pussy.”

  “So what you’re saying is you want to use me and sleep in my bed so you won’t end up in anyone else’s.”

  “Kinda,” he said on a smirk. I shook my head and smiled at him.

  “You know you can’t bullshit me, Chris.”

  He gave me a final squeeze before he let me go. “But I can try. Go to Lola’s and get us some coffee and muffins. I’m starving,” he said as he headed back towards the bar. “Then you can help me restock before we go for lunch and head to Boulder.”

  “You’re coming to Boulder with me?”

  “Yeah. Mark is coming to hold down the fort until tonight.”

  “All right. You want the usual?” I asked.

  “Yeah. Make it a large. And a lemon poppy seed muffin.” His head was already disappearing into one of the large beer coolers behind the bar to check what needed to be restocked.

  “Okay. Be back! Me paying for breakfast means lunch is on you. I want a milkshake from Tom’s with whatever is on special today!” I called across the expanse of the room as I walked towards the front door to get us both breakfast from the only coffee shop in town, which was just down the street from Cooper’s and was owned and run by the town sage Betty, who was also Cal’s mother, which in turn made her my surrogate mom.

  “Right,” I heard him shout back and I smiled to myself.

  When I walked into Lola’s, Betty’s eyes zeroed in on me like a hawk’s. She was reading my mood, worried about me. I had expected it. Betty loved me like her own daughter and I loved her like a mother, but I didn’t want her to worry.

  I gave her a reassuring smile as I approached the counter. Her eyes stayed locked on mine, reading me, looking into my soul it felt like. She could do that, look into your soul. And she would tell you what she found there. No matter if you wanted to hear it or not.

  Before she could open her mouth and do exactly that, I cut to the chase. “I know you’re worried about me and I love it that you are because it says something beautiful, but I also hate it that you think you have to worry, because it says that I gave you reason to do so. I made a promise and I’m going to keep it. I’m much stronger than I was a year ago, Betty. And Chris is staying with me for a few days so I am not alone. I know I’m not alone and never was. I’ve got all of you, an amazing family who loves me, and I won’t disappoint you again.”

  Betty leaned over the counter and put her hand to my cheek while still looking deep into my eyes. “My beautiful girl. Yes, you are much stronger than you were a year ago. Doesn’t mean I’m not still going to worry about you. I’ll always worry about you. It’s what a mother does. You’re my blood or not, you’re like a daughter to me, and parents never like to see their children suffer.”

  Like always, Betty’s words were beautiful and felt great.

  She kept talking. “I’m glad Chris is staying with you to hold you up and keep you str
ong. It’s no shame needing and accepting the help of people you love and who love you, sweetheart. It’s the opposite. It’s what family and friends are for. We stick together, we lean on each other, we help each other be strong. Now, know this: you need me or Pete or Cal or Ivey in any way, you call. No matter what time of day or night, you feel like you can’t deal, you call.”

  God, she was killing me.

  Tears stung my eyes and I had to swallow them down before I could say anything. I nodded.

  “I will, Betty. I promise.”

  “Good, sweetheart. That’s what I want to hear,” she said with love and pride and compassion in her voice.

  “Now, what can I get you?” She asked as her hand left my cheek, she leaned back to standing straight again and walked towards her fancy Italian commercial coffee machine, her pride and joy. She should be proud. It made the best coffee in town.

  “I need two large lattes and two lemon poppy seed muffins.”

  “All right, dear. Coming right up.”

  Pete came out from the back carrying a big tray of baked goodies. You wouldn’t think it by looking at him, but Pete was the one who did all the baking for the coffee shop. And all of it was freaking amazing. I was a chocolate kind of gal, not much into cakes and cookies and pastries and stuff, but even I would kill for one of Pete’s baked anything, they were that good.

  “Hey, there, sweetheart. How you doin’?” He asked when he saw me.

  I gave him a smile and said, “I’m doing okay, Pete, thanks.”

  “Hear you’re joinin’ us for dinner at Cal and Ivey’s tonight.”

  “Yeah, Cal wanted to butter me up with the lure of Ivey’s chocolate dessert. I got mad at him because he played me this morning. Told me he needed to talk to me about the new stage he’s building for me, made me haul my behind out of the shower for nothing.”

  Pete gave me a look then he said in a low voice full of meaning, “That’s not why he asked you to come for dinner, sweetheart. And he didn’t play you.”