by Julia Goda
I woke up the next morning and felt strong arms holding me as well as a hot and hard body spooning me. Chris. I turned around slowly so as not to wake him and looked at him. He was breathing deeply and evenly, still fast asleep. I might be upset with him, might not understand him right now, but I was still glad that he had crawled into bed with me last night. I had needed that. Carefully, I lifted his arm and slid out from underneath it, then rolled to the edge of the bed and into a sitting position. When I got up, I looked over my shoulder to check once again. He hadn’t moved. I smiled to myself. Chris was a deep sleeper. Once he was out, he was out, and nothing short of a train running through the room would wake him. He needed three alarms set for different times, turned up to full volume, so he would wake up.
I went to the bathroom, did my business, brushed my teeth, and washed my face, then headed to the kitchen to get the coffee started, and then got ready for my morning run. I decided to run the big loop again today. I needed it to clear my head. I was worried that Chris was not going to give up and would try and make me talk to him about Jason when I came back. I had seen the determined look in his eyes last night. I knew that look. Chris was an understanding, supportive, and kind man, but when he was convinced of something and had made up his mind about you needing to agree with him, he could get pushy and bossy and not so gentle. Even though he had given me a reprieve last night, I knew that that reprieve was over, and I wasn’t looking forward to the argument I knew was going to happen, since I was not planning on backing down on this.
About to leave him a note telling him I was out running and that the coffee was ready, Chris’ voice sounded from behind me and made me jump.
“You’re up early.”
“Jeez, Chris, you scared the crap out of me.” I put a hand over my beating heart. Chris smirked at me. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” He took me in then said, surprised and unhappy, “You’re going for a run?”
“Yeah, I need to clear my head.”
“Lore, we need to talk. I need to talk to you about what happened last night, about what Jason said—”
I whirled around and snapped, “I told you, Chris. I don’t want to talk about what that asshole told you or what he wants. I don’t care and neither should you.” I dropped the pen and paper I still had in my hand on the counter and headed to the front door.
I heard Chris’ footsteps as he followed me. “I heard you last night, Lore, but you have to listen to me. You have to know what he told me and you need to talk to him.”
I stopped in my tracks and stilled.
What the fuck? Now he not only wanted me to talk about Jason, he wanted me to actually talk to him? He could not be serious. He went from hating that man almost more than I did to defending him in less than twelve hours.
“Are you serious, Chris?” I was disappointed and angry now. Disappointed that Chris wouldn’t not only let it go, but actually take Jason’s side, disappointed that he was siding with the enemy against me. Or at least that’s what it felt like. Like a betrayal.
Chris’ eyes were on me and they were sad and compassionate. He lifted his arms as if to hug me, but I stepped around him and headed to the front door.
“Lore? Don’t leave like this. Shit, Lore, I’m sorry.” He followed me, his voice pleading. But it wasn’t enough. I was too angry and, frankly, too hurt to forgive him right away.
“I’m leaving. I can’t talk to you right now, Chris. Maybe you should go home.”
His voice was firm when he answered. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll wait for you right here and we’ll talk some more when you get back.”
I sighed. I had known he wouldn’t leave me even before I suggested it, but right now, for the first time in my life, I had to get away from him.
I opened the door and walked through it as I said, “Fine. Stay.” Then I shut the door behind me and went on my run.
As I started running down the street and into the woods, my mind stayed on my best friend. Ever since we met, I could always trust Chris to have my best interests at heart and do anything in his power to make things easier for me. He was my best friend, my confidant, the one friend I could always come to and know he wouldn’t hesitate to help, who kicked my ass if I was stubborn, and made sure I took care of myself. He was always there for me, no matter what, no matter how.
And now that best friend wouldn’t stop trying to talk to me about the man who had broken my heart, had shattered it into a million pieces. Chris had turned on me. He believed Jason. After six years of hating him for what he had done to me, it had taken Jason all of ten minutes to talk my best friend around, and that was something I couldn’t grasp. He knew how hurt I had been by Jason’s betrayal. He knew. And still, he insisted I hear him out. No, I wouldn’t. I loved Chris but I was not going to cave on this. I couldn’t.
For the rest of the run, I focused on clearing my mind. I focused on my breathing, and bit by bit, I was able to push the anger and disappointment aside for the moment and enjoy my run, let the adrenalin take over as I exhausted myself.
It was unfortunate that feeling didn’t last long.
I was about to make the turn into my driveway when I saw the car that was parked on the street in front of my house.
It was a Challenger.
A Challenger just like Jason’s.
What. The. Fuck.
I made the turn and stopped short at what I saw.
Chris was standing in the door.
And he was talking to Jason.
JASON
Jason was strung tight with anticipation as he drove into town. He was going to Loreley’s house. In just a few minutes, he would find out what the fuck was going on.
When he got home last night after talking to Chris, he had made some phone calls. Murphy hadn’t answered his phone so he had left a message to call him back asap. So far, he hadn’t heard back from him. And Jason worried he wouldn’t any time soon. The Crowes were on break after a long tour, which meant Murphy would be incommunicado for at least a few weeks. His phone would be off and he wouldn’t check his emails. Last he heard, he had holed himself up somewhere in the Carribean with his latest squeeze. So he had called Nathan, their bassist. If there were one person who knew how to get a hold of Murphy it would be Nathan. The two of them were complete opposites but they were tight, had grown up together. They were like brothers. Nathan was also the glue that had been keeping the band together for the past few years. Jason was hoping that Nathan would be willing to corroborate his story about the night Lore and he had had their fight. Out of all his band members, Lore had been closest to Nathan. She had liked him and trusted him, so he hoped that if Nathan backed up Jason’s story, she would believe him. Nathan remembered that night only too clearly, because according to him, it had been the night when Jason lost his muse and turned into an asshole. He had called him a “stupid shit” on more than one occasion over the years because of it. He had been right of course, but Jason never admitted it out loud. Though, he did last night when he called Nathan and told him what he’d learned from talking to Chris.
“Told you, man. Letting her get away was the biggest mistake you’ve ever made. You lost her because of your stupid wounded ego and you know it. You’ve been a miserable ass for almost six years now, man, and it’s taken a toll on all of us.”
“I know, Nathan. Don’t need the lecture. What I need is to get in touch with Murphy so he can tell Loreley it wasn’t me fucking that girl that night,” Jason had been impatient and angry.
“Relax, man. I doubt he’s gonna get back to you. We’ve been on the road for months and had to live with your sorry ass 24/7. He won’t call you. But I’ll try to talk to him. If he doesn’t want to help or doesn’t remember—which is very likely, since you weren’t the only person that was trashed that night—I’ll come out to Colorado and talk to Loreley. Scratch that, I’ll come down no matter what Murphy says. I’ll book a flight right now. You’re not the only one who has missed our girl, and someone’s gotta make sur
e you don’t fuck it up again.”
Jason had sighed in relief. “Thanks, man. I owe you.”
“Oh, you owe me all right. You have no idea how much. But I’d do pretty much anything if that means you’ll get out of that funk.” Nathan had hung up and Jason was hoping he would get a call back soon, telling him that he either tracked down Murphy or that he was on his way down here.
Then he tried to get some information on how to retrieve old emails and text messages. Apparently, it wasn’t that easy, since they were more than two years old and he had changed his phone number and email addresses multiple times in the past six years. He had made a few calls and was expecting to hear back.
But instead, it was Cal who phoned him and Jason had nothing to show him yet. He knew that if he wanted Cal to let him live, he would need definite proof that he hadn’t cheated on his sister.
To his surprise, Cal had sounded only slightly enraged when he answered the phone.
“I was half-way out the door last night to beat the shit out of you for screwing Loreley over when I got a call from Chris,” he had said. Jason had closed his eyes in relief and gratitude. Apparently, Chris was coming through for him and would be his ally in this.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Told me you said you didn’t cheat on her. Said he believed you.”
“He can. I didn’t.” Jason’s voice was firm.
“He also told me you never got her messages. That true?”
“Yeah, that’s true. I had no idea she was trying to get a hold of me. I still don’t know why she did.”
Silence for a few seconds, then Cal asked, “So it’s true you don’t know?” Jason lost it in that moment, frustrated with everyone hinting at something, but no one telling him anything. That’s why he snarled at Cal, “No, Cal, I have no fucking clue. I have no clue why Loreley called me, or what happened that made her almost kill herself. What I do know is that it must have been something big if she tried to talk to me even though she thought I had cheated on her. But I don’t know what the fuck that was, since nobody is fucking telling me shit!”
“We’re just trying to protect her, Jace. This is gonna be a blow for her and we don’t want her to lose it again. You weren’t here. You didn’t see how bad it was.”
“Well, I’m here now, Cal, and I’m here to stay. I’m not letting her leave me ever again. She is mine, which makes it my job to catch her if she loses it. But I can’t fucking do that if I don’t know what the fuck is going on!”
Silence, then, “Fuck, man. Lore is stubborn and hurt. She won’t talk to you.”
“I experienced that yesterday and the night before,” Jason growled in a low voice. “I gave Chris last night to talk to her. I’m headed over there this morning. I would like not to go in blind.” He heard Cal swear again under his breath. Then, “Ivey is gonna kick my ass if I interfere,” he said as if he was talking to himself. He assumed Ivey was the wife Chris had mentioned last night, but Jason didn’t ask, he just waited for Cal’s decision.
“Fuck,” he heard Cal swear on the other end. Then nothing.
Jason kept waiting.
“I think you need to hear the story from her, but I’ll come to Loreley’s house and help if I can. But you gotta know, that no matter what, Loreley is my first priority, and I will kick your ass if you make this worse for her than it already is. So I need your word. I need your word that you’re not gonna bolt, that you’re gonna stick around and fight for her even if it’s her you have to fight, and that you’re gonna take care of her once you’ve got her back.” Cal’s request told him that he would have a fight on his hands but that he believed he would eventually get what he wanted if he didn’t give up. Cal was giving him a chance. And Jason was going to take it. Not that he needed Cal’s blessing, but it was better to have it than to fight a war on two fronts.
“You’ve got it.” Again, Jason’s voice was firm. Like steel.
Cal sighed. “All right. I’ll meet you in an hour. But you better be telling the truth, Jason, or I swear to God, I will make it so you wish we’d never met. You get me?”
“Yeah, I get you.” Then he lowered his voice and said, relieved, “Thank you, man.”
“Don’t thank me.” Then Cal had hung up.
So Cal would be at Loreley’s house, too.
Jason parked his Challenger in front of the driveway. He got out and knocked on her front door. Chris opened it. His eyes grew wide with panic when he saw Jason.
“Shit, man, you’re too early. I haven’t been able to talk to her about everything. She’s mad as hell at me for even mentioning—”
“I gave you last night, man,” Jason interrupted. “I told you I wouldn’t wait any longer.”
“No, Jason. You can’t. You don’t understand—”
“That’s exactly why I won’t wait any longer, Chris. Because I don’t understand, because I don’t know what the fuck is going on.”
“Fuck!”
“What the fuck are you doing at my house?” Both Chris and Jason turned when they heard Loreley’s lethal voice.
“He’s here to talk to you, Lore.” She threw Chris such a menacing glare full of heat, it would bring even the best man to his knees. Out of the corner of his eyes, Jason saw Chris wince. He didn’t blame him.
“I cannot believe you,” she hissed at Chris. Then she turned that glare on Jason. “Go away. I told you last night and the night before: you’re not wanted here.”
Jason took a step towards her. He was close enough to touch her, but he didn’t, no matter how much his hand ached to.
“We need to talk,” he said firmly but pleadingly. He hated to beg, but there was nothing he wouldn’t do to finally make her listen to him. His Loreley was stubborn, always had been. Back when they were together, he had gotten off on her stubbornness, fuck, he still did. But right now, he would give a lot for her to be more compliant.
“There is nothing to talk about. Nothing you could say that I want to hear.” She was as angry as he’d ever seen her. Angry and hurt. He could see it in her eyes, just like he had yesterday on the sidewalk.
“Lore—” Chris started, but Jason interrupted him.
“I don’t agree. There is a lot we need to talk about, starting with that shit about me cheating on you.” Loreley’s body didn’t flinch, but her eyes did, telling Jason that the hurt and betrayal ran deep.
Fuck.
He couldn’t take it.
He had to touch her, had to try and soothe her somehow. So he went for it. He raised his hand and put it to her cheek, sliding his fingers into her hair while cupping the side of her face with his palm.
“Baby,” he whispered in a rough whisper.
The fire that had disappeared for a split second was back in an instant, and Loreley jerked her head away from him. “Don’t touch me. Don’t you dare touch me! Get in your car and leave!”
Jason shook his head. His eyes remained on Loreley when he said, “I’d do almost anything you asked if that meant you’d talk to me. But I can’t do that. I’m not leaving.”
“Why?” Loreley asked. “Why, after all these years do you all of a sudden have to talk to me? I don’t get it!”
His face softened a little as he answered, “Because I missed you, baby. I’ve missed you every single day for six years.”
She uncrossed her arms and pointed a finger in his face when she leaned into him and spat, “That is fucking bullshit! You’re the one who threw me away! You’re the one who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants! Don’t you dare give me that bullshit about missing me!”
Jason leaned closer into Loreley, so she had to put her hand down if she didn’t want to poke his eye out. “I keep telling you. I didn’t fucking cheat on you, Loreley. It wasn’t me with that woman. It was Murphy.”
Fuck! He wasn’t getting through to her.
“Bullshit!” Loreley spat again.
“It’s not bullshit! It’s the fucking truth! I loved you. I still love you. Why in the fuck would I chea
t on you?”
“Oh, I don’t know! Because you’re a selfish jerk who didn’t get his own way?” She yelled sarcastically.
Jason looked to the sky, seeking patience.
Fucking hell this woman was so fucking stubborn!
Before he could figure out a way to get through to her though, she spoke again, not yelling this time. No, it was worse, the way her voice sounded was so much worse than yelling.
It was broken.
Crushed.
And resigned.
“You know what? It doesn’t even matter.”
Jason’s head snapped back down and he narrowed his eyes on her. “Of course it matters. You shut me out because you thought I cheated on you. We would still be together if—”
“Oh, no. We wouldn’t be.” She sounded sure about that. Definite. Her voice was low and full of something else…hatred? Jason flinched.
“Even if you didn’t cheat on me, how long exactly did it take you before you forgot about me and moved on?” Jason clamped his mouth shut. He knew what she was referring to.
“Yeah, I thought so. But that doesn’t matter either.”
There it was again: the hint at something. The hint at the secret that everyone seemed too scared to tell him.
“Would you fucking stop talking in riddles? Spit it out! What made you hate me so much that you can hardly bear to look at me? Why, Loreley? Why are you so sure we wouldn’t be together right now?”
“You know. Stop pretending you don’t.”
“I don’t know or I wouldn’t fucking ask.”
“Lore—” Chris tried to mediate, but neither of them paid him any attention.
“Stop playing this game, Jason. Stop it and leave.”
“I’m not playing a game, Loreley. I have no fucking clue what is going on.”
