Be Here Now: A Cedar Creek Novel

by Julia Goda

  Okay, that made sense. And why wouldn’t you want to work with one of the best managers in the business, even if she was kind of a bitch?

  Holding my dress up high in its bag so it wouldn’t touch the ground, I carried it through the front door and stopped at hearing Jason’s angry voice.

  “Get off me, Dana. And put your fucking clothes on. What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

  I heard Maggie say something beside me but I was too focussed on getting to the kitchen where I thought the voices were coming from to pay any attention to her. I rounded the corner and saw her. Her back was to me and she was leaning into Jason, her hands on his chest.

  And all she was wearing was lingerie and high heels.

  If I hadn’t known any better, I’d have thought I was in a bad movie. Really? That was her play? She thought Jason would want her if she came here in nothing but sexy underwear and slutty high heels and threw herself at him? It was the cliché of all clichés and I would have laughed if I wasn’t so unbelievably mad.

  “Get your slutty hands off of him.” I was seething. Just yesterday, another woman had tried to break us apart. I could deal with the googly eyes and the come hither looks, but this was crossing the line by at least a mile.

  Both their eyes came to me: Jason’s panicked, Dana’s smug. She had the gumption to lean her tits against his chest, but almost fell flat on her face a second later when Jason pushed her off and came towards me, his hands up in a placatory gesture, panic still written all over his face.

  “I swear to God, Loreley, this is not what it looks like.” He stopped two feet away from me, unsure.

  “What are you doing?” I snapped at him accusatorially.

  “I swear I wasn’t doing anything. She got here not five minutes ago and—”

  “That’s not what I meant,” I waved him off impatiently. “I mean, what are you doing over there?”

  “Over there?” He repeated, not understanding.

  “Yeah, over there. I need you over here.” His whole body sagged in relief and he closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me. I leaned into his embrace. “You believe me,” he whispered against my temple as he brushed it with his lips. “Of course I do. I would have even if I hadn’t heard you tell her off when we came in.”

  He leaned back and gave me a look that said he didn’t quite believe me. I gave him a stern look. “I would have.”

  “Baby, that was quite the scene you just walked in on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, but it looked bad.”

  “Yes, it did. But I trust you. I admit I didn’t a week ago, not like this. Maybe not even yesterday when that bitch came to the bar. But that has changed. I know you wouldn’t throw away what we have for some random pussy. I wouldn’t marry you today if I didn’t.”

  “You’re marrying her today? Are you out of your mind?” Dana screeched, bringing both our attention back to her. Dang it, I had forgotten she was here. Jason stood beside me with his arm around my shoulders.

  “Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but yes, we’re getting married today.” His voice was back to being hard and angry.

  “None of my fucking business? I’m your manager. Anything you do is my business,” she sneered. “I’m the one who has to put out the fires when you get drunk and fuck your way through a volleyball team of women.”

  “Watch it, Dana,” Jason growled menacingly. His body next to mine was strung tight with anger. “And put your fucking clothes on.”

  “Why? I seem to remember you enjoyed it more than enough the last time you saw me like this.”

  “You fucking bitch. Don’t make it sound like I’ve ever seen you with your clothes off. I never wanted to and now that I have I wish I hadn’t. Go play your games somewhere else. I’m not interested.” His voice was dripping with disgust. Dana flinched.

  I’d had enough of this show. “All right. That’s enough. You’ve tried to make him want you and failed miserably. We’ve got things to do. Get dressed and then get lost. And don’t come back. You’re fired.” I told her.

  “You can’t fire me! I don’t work for you, you slutty little gold-digging bitch!”

  “Dana—”

  “Fine. You’re right. I can’t fire you. Jason?” I didn’t look at him but kept my eyes on her instead. I wanted her to see that I was the one who would always have the upper hand when it came to Jason.

  “You’re fired. Get out,” he said without a second’s hesitation.

  “What?” She screeched. “You’re firing me because your little slut is afraid of a little competition?”

  “You don’t get it, Dana,” I said, bored now. “There is no competition. Jason is mine. He always has been and he always will be. Stop. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

  Her eyes narrowed on me. “He wasn’t yours six years ago, now was he? Six years ago, you watched him being all over someone else and that was all it took for you to scamper. Not even sharing a child with him made you stick around.”

  Both Jason and I froze at her words. I gasped and stopped breathing. Then it came to me.

  Oh my God.

  Dana was the woman from the concert. The one who had told me to not ever get involved with a musician since they could never keep it in their pants anyway. She had stood beside me backstage all those years ago when I had seen Jason with that other woman. She had asked me my name and I had told her, too shocked to wonder why she wanted to know. She must have seen something on my face that night that made her curious. It all made sense now. She had known exactly who I was, had known that I was pregnant. Because she was the one who had intercepted my messages and made sure Jason never got them. Which meant that she was responsible for Jason not knowing about Jesse.

  A red haze of fury covered my vision.

  That motherfucking bitch.

  JASON

  “What did you just say?” Jason’s voice was soft but menacing. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.

  “Nothing,” Dana had frozen at the same time he and Loreley had. Her eyes were big and round with alarm. She must have realized that she’d just signed her own death certificate and was trying to save herself by pretending to be nonchalant. But it was too late. Jason had heard and understood. Everything was crystal clear to him now. And it took everything in him to not punch Dana in the face.

  She had known about Loreley being pregnant.

  She had gotten the messages and emails Loreley had sent to tell him about their baby.

  And she had kept them from him

  That motherfucking bitch.

  Jason felt Loreley’s arms go around him, one around his back, the other around his front, trying to hold him back. She knew that he was moments away from snapping.

  “You knew, didn’t you?” His voice was so cold he didn’t recognize it himself.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dana said impassively as she went to her clothes and started to put them back on. At least that was something.

  “You knew. You knew about Loreley and you knew about the baby.” She said nothing. “Tell me, did you get a good laugh behind my back for all these years?” His voice was still dangerously soft, while his body begged him to let loose and go after the person who was responsible for this whole mess. It didn’t care that she was a woman. All it wanted was to pummel into her, to let go and let the anger that was boiling inside him get his own back. “Tell me!” He shouted, making Loreley flinch in his arms. He gave her waist a small squeeze in apology but didn’t take his eyes from Dana. She was dressed now and seemed intent on getting out of here as fast as possible.

  Jason moved out of Loreley’s embrace and blocked her. “Oh no, you’re not going anywhere until you tell me.” Then something occurred to him. If Dana had known back then who Loreley was, she had known about her when he tried to send her the cheque for the royalty money. Back then he didn’t have a PA, so everything had gone through her. “You never sent the money, did you?” He watched as Dana’
s body froze once more. He had her now and she knew it. If she had sent the money, there would be a paper trail somewhere, proof that she had issued the cheque and it hadn’t been cashed or had been sent back.

  “You motherfucking bitch!” He yelled into her face, beyond furious. “I’m gonna nail you on his. You’re going down. No matter what I have to do, you’re going down and you’re staying down. I’m suing your ass with everything I can until you have nothing.” It wasn’t a threat. He wasn’t going to hesitate in making her pay for what she’d done. And when he was done with her she’d hope she’d never met him.

  “Jason, I was just trying to protect you—” she pleaded.

  “Protect me from what? From getting to know my son? From being with the woman I love?” He roared, making Dana flinch again. He knew he should back off but if he moved now, away from her wouldn’t be the direction his body would go.

  “She and the baby were going to ruin your career. If I hadn’t—”

  “Get out of my house!” Jason thundered. His heart was beating fast and he knew his face was red with absolute fury. If he heard another word out of that cunt’s mouth, he would not be held responsible for his actions. “Now!” Dana’s eyes went even bigger than they already were. She turned on the spot and ran out the front door.

  Run, bitch. Run while you still can.

  He listened to Dana’s car start and its tires screech as she sped out of his driveway and took that moment to try and compose himself.

  But Loreley was having none of that.

  Her arms were going around his waist from behind and he felt her rest her head against his back, trying to soothe him with her touch. He let her and gave into it like he always did. He needed her touch, needed her love right now more than anything. Someone he had trusted for years, since the very beginning, had committed the worst kind of betrayal imaginable. And for what? For the off chance that he would take her to bed?

  He rested his hands on Loreley’s and hung his head as he sighed deeply.

  “Are you okay?” Loreley asked. The concern for him was evident in her voice, but he could also hear shock and a whole lot of anger there. He could only imagine how much it had taken for her to not pummel Dana herself.

  “I will be,” he answered as he turned in her arms and wound his own around her tightly. She lifted her head and looked up at him. “I’m sorry, Jason.” She was pushing her own anger away so she could comfort him. It took a good woman to see what her man needed and give it to him when he needed it, and Jason was unbelievably grateful that Loreley was his. She knew how much Dana’s betrayal hurt him and moved to make him feel better, despite what she might be feeling herself in that moment. Jason returned the favour and touched her forehead with his in a gesture of comfort and intimacy.

  “Nothing for you to be sorry about. I’ve believed her lies for six years. Never even thought to second guess anything she told me.” He kissed the tip of her nose, then tucked her cheek to his chest, right over his heart and gently rubbed her back to soothe both her and him.

  “Wow. I’ve always hated her, but even I never expected her to be capable of anything like this.” Jason’s eyes moved to Maggie, who stood at the opening that led from the hallway into the living room. She looked just as shell shocked as Jason felt. A dress bag was hanging over her arm, making Jason remember. He leaned back, making Loreley do the same in his arms, and looked at her.

  “Baby, I’ve got to call Robert and fill him in on what just happened. I want no time wasted on that shit, so I gotta do that right away. You go on up and start the shower. I’ll be with you in a few minutes. Maggie arranged for a hairdresser to come to the house in half an hour. She does make-up, too, so we gotta hustle.”

  “You sure you still want to get married today? We just got another big bomb dropped on us. We need to digest it and—” Jason stopped her from saying more. He moved his hands from her back to the sides of her face and leaned in close enough that all she could see were his eyes.

  And they were dead serious.

  “Listen to me, Loreley. I’ve been in love with you for over eight years. I’ve wanted to marry you for almost as long. Nobody and nothing will mess with us getting married today. You are the most important part of my life. I love you and I won’t wait another second to make you mine. You’ve said yes and you can’t change your mind. I won’t let you.”

  “I wasn’t going to change my mind about marrying you. I just thought we could use some time to let it all sink in, like, maybe a day or so.” Jason grinned, but shook his head. God, he loved this woman.

  “I appreciate the thought, but the answer is no. If we change our plans she wins and I won’t give her that. The only people who come out winners in all this are you and I. Together. Forever.” He kissed her lips softly. “Now go and start the shower and I’ll be right behind you.”

  “Okay,” she breathed against his lips that were still touching hers. He loved that he had the power to make her go completely complacent for him. His Loreley had sass and a lot of it, which he loved and wouldn’t want to live without. But he also loved it when she was like this, soft and caring and compliant in his arms, ready to give him what he needed, trusting him that he would take care of her and everything else. He loved it, because he knew she didn’t give that to anyone else besides her father and maybe Chris, but that was different. He knew that no other man who wasn’t her father or whom she loved like a brother had ever received that gift. It was a gift that wasn’t given lightly and he knew he would always cherish it and keep it close to his heart.

  Chapter 19

  LORELEY

  I could hear the waves crashing against the sand as soon as Frank opened the door of the SUV and helped me out. I looked up and gasped. Frank smirked at me knowingly. Hundreds, no, thousands of twinkle lights were decorating the trees around us. We seemed to be in a quiet and secluded little alcove just above the beach. If I squinted, I could see the ocean through the branches. It wasn’t quite dusk yet and the glimmering lights made the place seem magical.

  “What is this place?” I wondered in awe. I had never seen anything like it.

  Frank’s smirk turned into a grin. “It’s just a spot that Jason and I discovered one day when we were driving around. He likes to come here when things get too much for him.”

  “It’s beautiful.”

  He chuckled. “It is, though the lights make it all the more so.” I couldn’t believe that Jason had pulled this off with practically no time at all. It was the most romantic spot I had ever been to and I couldn’t have imagined any better place to get married. It was perfect.

  “Does he come here often?” Frank started walking me towards an opening in the trees and bushes. I could see a small path that led to the beach beyond.

  “Every couple of weeks or so. More often during the past few months.”

  “Why is that?”

  “He was thinking about you, girl. He missed you terribly. One night about five months ago he asked me to drive him here after a show he’d had downtown. He was miserable. He’s a broody guy, but that night, he was at his worst. I had never seen him like that. We sat down on the beach and he started talking about you. How much he loved you, how much he missed you, how much he wanted you back. From that night on he stopped drinking and sleeping around.”

  “Five months? Why didn’t he come back to me sooner?” I wasn’t being accusatory. I was genuinely curious.

  “He was afraid you wouldn’t take him back. See, it took a lot for Jason to talk about you, to tell someone else how he felt about you. We’re men. We don’t share our feelings with each other. Ever. Not like that.” Frank stopped me at the beginning of the path and took my hands in his. “He was afraid that once he admitted to himself that you were the only person who could make him happy and he did something about it, you would reject him. A lot of time had passed, a lot of things had happened. He didn’t even know then if you were married to another man. So I started looking into it, found out that you weren’t marri
ed and lived in your hometown in Colorado.”

  His eyes were telling me something. Something that he seemed to want me to figure out. “You knew about Jesse, didn’t you?”

  He nodded. “I did.”

  “But Jason didn’t.” He shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell him?”

  “Because I don’t think he would have gone after you if he had known. He would have either blamed himself and stayed away from you or blamed you and stayed away from you. He had to find out on his own, he had to hear it from you.” Another chuckle. “Maybe not quite as brutally and bluntly as how it went down, but this was the only way.” I understood what he was saying and I agreed with it.

  “Jason never suspected that you were keeping things from him?”

  “No. When he asked me to find you, I told him I already had. I told him the basics, that you were single and lived in Cedar Creek, worked at your dad’s bar. He believed that’s all I knew, that I hadn’t dug any deeper than that.”

  “What if he ever finds out?”

  “He won’t.” His answer came instantly. His eyes again were telling me something he wouldn’t say out loud, but I could read him clearly. He would deny it. He did what he had to do and gave Jason what he had needed, had nudged him in the right direction, protecting him from himself at the same time.

  “You’re quite the matchmaker, aren’t you?” I said through a smile.

  “You didn’t need me to matchmake. From what Jason told me, I knew that you were an outstanding woman. I knew you’d probably give him a run for his money, and you haven’t disappointed, but I hoped that you would find it in you to forgive him.”

  “That’s a lot of faith you had in a person you didn’t even know.”

  “Sometimes having faith is all anyone can do.”

  I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, Frank, for being such a good friend to Jason and for watching his back.”

  He smiled. “You’re welcome, sweetheart. Now go and marry that sorry ass already.”