Be Here Now: A Cedar Creek Novel

by Julia Goda

  “You can hear me,” Jason semi-repeated. He sounded tired and relieved. How long had I been out? “Please, baby, try and open your eyes for me. Let me see those beautiful green eyes of yours.” I wanted to see him, too. So badly. I tried and pried my eyes open another crack. My eyelids were heavy, but I won the fight and managed to keep them open long enough to focus on Jason. He looked unbelievably tired. His eyes were red-rimmed, had black circles under them, and he looked like he hadn’t shaved in a few days.

  “Hey,” he whispered softly. “Welcome back.” I saw him reach for something and assumed he was calling a nurse. I was grateful. The pain was so bad I needed them to give me something.

  “Hey,” I croaked. My tongue was dry and thick and my throat felt like someone had shoved barbed wire down it.

  “You want some water?”

  “Yes, please,” I replied on a whisper, my voice sounding raspy and weak.

  Jason reached for something and came back with a cup of water that had a straw in it. He held it to my mouth and helped me with the straw. I took a tiny sip and flinched when the water hit my throat as I swallowed.

  “Easy, baby. Small sips.” I took another one and this time it hurt a little less.

  “What happened?” I asked when I was done.

  Jason put the cup back on the tray. “You don’t remember?” I thought about the last thing I remembered. We were at a party at the bar. Our party. I went to the restroom and then…Brad. It all came back to me in an instant. “Brad. He grabbed me when I came out of the restroom.”

  Jason nodded. His eyes had turned angry in hearing Brad’s name but his face remained soft. “He was going to take me somewhere and …” I didn’t want to say out loud what Brad had planned to do to me. I didn’t need to. It looked like Jason knew only too well. His eyes turned darker. I kept talking. “I fought him and he hit me. That’s all I remember. He must have knocked me out.”

  Jason’s hand came up and stroked my cheek gently. “He did knock you out. And you hit your head on the cement when he dropped you when Frank tackled him. You have a small crack in your skull, but all your tests came back clean.”

  “He cracked my skull?” That made sense. My head did feel like it was split open right down the middle. Jason nodded solemnly. “Where is he? Did they get him?” He nodded again. “He’s in jail and has been refused bail. You’re safe.” That was good news. I sighed and closed my eyes, exhausted.

  The door opened and a nurse walked into the room. “Hey there. How are we feeling today?”

  “My head hurts,” I said with my eyes still closed.

  “I bet it does. I’ll give you something for it as soon as the doctor has had a good look at you.”

  “Okay,” I said, grateful.

  She made me open my eyes again and checked and prodded what felt like everywhere before she left and said she’d be back with the doctor.

  “How long have I been out?” I asked Jason when the nurse had left.

  “Almost two days,” Jason answered, his voice heavy and tired.

  “Two days?” Wow. No wonder he looked like crap.

  “Two very long days. The longest days of my life.” I tried to lift my hand. I needed to touch him. My arm was so heavy it took all the strength I had to put my hand to his cheek, but I succeeded. We both sighed at the contact. Jason grabbed my hand with his and pushed it against his skin as he nuzzled into it. “You scared the shit out of me, Loreley. If you hadn’t made it…”

  “Shh,” I soothed him. “I’ll be okay. You said it yourself. All my tests came back clean.”

  “I know.” He closed his eyes and kissed my palm.

  “You need some sleep.”

  “I’ll sleep when you’re back home and lying beside me.” I smiled to myself. It might be selfish, but I didn’t want him to leave and I was grateful that he didn’t want to leave my side either.

  Then the doctor came in and examined me thoroughly.

  “You’ll have a headache for a couple of weeks, but everything else looks fine. Your vitals are stable and your memory seems good. Give it a couple of days and take it easy and you can go home.”

  “Okay. Thank you, doctor.” He smiled at me, nodded at Jason, and left the room. The nurse came back and gave me my pain medication, making me pass out in less than a minute.

  It went on like this for the next two days, me in and out of consciousness, but more alert and in less pain every time I woke up. My family visited me and talked to me whenever I was awake. Jason never left my side. He grabbed a shower in my room while I was asleep and promised me he would eat something and at least catch some shut-eye with me, but he never left.

  It was the day I was finally being released. Betty had gone to my house and brought me some clothes and everything I needed to take a shower. Jason refused to let any of the nurses help me, so it was he who not only helped me in and out of the shower, but who hopped in with me and washed my body. There was no hanky-panky going on, that would have to wait for a little while until my head stopped pounding. He washed me gently and with a purpose and held me to his naked chest when I asked him to. I needed the contact and so did he. We stood like that for a good long while, until he turned off the water and dried first me, and then himself. Then he carefully brushed my wet hair before he helped me dress and sat me in the chair to wait for him while he sorted himself.

  As Jason had promised me, Brad had not been released and was waiting for his trial at the Colorado State Penitentiary. Robert had called just that morning, informing us that it had been Dana who had paid bail for Brad. If you asked me, she was one fucked-up bitch to say the least. Who does shit like that? Scorned woman or not, the extremes she had gone to were just plain insane. Jason had gone ballistic and if it hadn’t been for the fact the he wouldn’t leave my side I think he would have hunted her down himself. As far as Robert could tell, Maggie had been right in her guess and it was also her who was feeding the media with all the garbage that had been published, though since my hospitalization, the tone of what had been said had changed dramatically. The few paparazzi that had been outside the bar that night, had seen enough to testify; with the pictures they took as evidence. The only one who hadn’t taken any pictures was the man who had gone inside the bar to get Jason. His name was Ajay Chowdhury. The others had run with the story, and let me tell you, it was no fun seeing those pictures of me in the news. Those people had no scruples. But it changed how the public saw me from then on. I wasn’t the gold digger and child killer they had called me at first. I was the victim of a vicious attack, who had almost been killed on top of having endured the trauma of having lost her child just a year ago. So that was at least something. In his gratitude for getting to him that night, Jason had promised Ajay an exclusive interview with the both of us once I was feeling up to it.

  Jason was going to sue Dana, not for posting bail, since she couldn’t be sued for that, but for releasing information that she garnered while she worked for him. It was a little tricky to get the proof on that, but Robert was optimistic that he could get his hands on something they could use in court. He promised us that she wouldn’t dare show her face ever again once he was done with her. I still wanted to bitch-slap the shit out of her, but unfortunately, it looked like I’d never get the chance.

  We signed the papers and Jason took me home. Well, to Cal’s rental. Jason was a little paranoid about my safety right now, and I couldn’t blame him.

  “I want us to stay close to Frank and there isn’t enough room at your house.” I didn’t fight him on it. It’s what he needed. I understood. I was okay with it for now, but we couldn’t stay here forever.

  “I’ve paid the rent for the next few months, baby. Don’t worry about it.” We were lying on the lounge chair on the back deck, Jason on his back, me on my side snuggled into him. I had been released almost two weeks ago now and felt better every day.

  “That’s not it, Jason. As much as I love this house it’s not ours. It’s not home.”

  J
ason sighed, frustrated. This wasn’t the first time I had brought it up and he was getting annoyed with me. “You said you understood. Your house is too small, especially if it turns out that you’re pregnant. And I can’t make it safe enough for our family without some major renovations. I don’t want to leave you right now to deal with any of that, so it’s gonna have to wait.”

  My hand went to my flat stomach. I was late, but the doctors had said my body might skip a period because of the trauma and stress it had endured. I wasn’t worried yet. Not that I would be worried if I was pregnant. I was actually hoping I was.

  Jason’s hand joined mine on my stomach and he smiled a proud and loving smile at me. He was smug. I shook my head at him, smiling, before went back to the topic at hand. “Then buy us a new house.”

  His eyebrows shot up in surprise. He had thought I wouldn’t want to leave the house I had raised Jesse in, nor did I like him spending that kind of money. But that didn’t matter to me anymore. The memories would always stay with me, no matter where we lived. And I’d have to get used to us being rich at some point. “You’re okay with me buying you a new house?”

  “Us. You’d be buying us a new house. You and me. And possibly our new baby. And Frank of course.” I smirked at him teasingly. I expected him to hug me or kiss me, but to my surprise, Jason got up and pulled me up with him. “What are you doing?”

  “We’re going to look at houses,” he said in a duh-like fashion as he walked us inside.

  “What? Now?”

  “Of course now. My wife wants a home and she’s not arguing with me about spending too much money on it, so I better seize the moment and buy her one.”

  “You’re insane,” I whined.

  He stopped and pulled me into his embrace. “I’m insanely in love with you,” he said, melting my heart. “Now, get your pretty tush in gear and stop whining.” He kissed the tip of my nose and pushed me towards the stairs, telling me to get dressed in something else than short-short pajama pants and a tank top, another point of discord we’d had over the past week. He thought they were too short for company, but they were the most comfortable clothes I had. I got my way and kept them on while we were in the house, even when we had visitors, but when we left, I had to put on something that covered me up a little more. Little did he know I’d never leave the house dressed in my pajamas anyway, so I was pretty smug about my victory.

  I came back down dressed in my short jeans skirt, a loose fitting beige t-shirt with a longhorn printed on it, and my flip flops.

  “Ugh,” Jason groaned when he saw me. I grinned at him and threw him a kiss. “How’s your head?” He asked as he walked slowly towards me. His voice was low and sexy and very suggestive.

  “Good,” I answered, a little breathlessly. Jason hadn’t touched me since I’d been released from the hospital. Not like that at least and I missed him. The doctor had given us the okay during my last check-up two days ago, but Jason had still been hesitant. He didn’t want to hurt me.

  “Just good?” He had reached me now and stroked his finger down the side of my face, stopping at my bottom lip.

  “Great. It’s great,” I breathed against his finger. Jason removed it and replaced it with his mouth. I sagged into him and groaned. He saw it for the invitation it was and went deep, consuming me. He ended the kiss and rested his forehead against mine, both of us breathing hard.

  “I miss you, baby.”

  “Then take me upstairs,” I whispered, resulting in a chuckle from Jason.

  “House first. I gotta make sure my wife and baby are taken care of. But you’re mine for the rest of the afternoon. No visitors. Just you and me. Naked. Pretend we’re back in Santa Monica.” I liked that. A lot.

  “Deal,” I said. Then he kissed the tip of my nose again and we went house hunting.

  Chapter 22

  EPILOGUE

  LORELEY

  “I can’t believe it took you almost eight years to bring me here.” We were standing in front of the entrance to Disneyland.

  It had turned out that Jason had gotten me pregnant during our wedding night. Two months after the attack and my subsequent hospital stay, my period was still a no-show, so I had taken a test and it had been positive. Jason and I had been over the moon and couldn’t wait to welcome our new baby into the family. We both had been a little worried at first that something might have happened to the baby because of the attack and all the stress it caused me, but my pregnancy had gone smoothly and there hadn’t been any issues whatsoever.

  It hadn’t taken us long to find a house we liked, less than twenty-four hours to be exact. We had looked at three different ones that first afternoon and had bought the second one we’d looked at. It was perfect. Funnily enough, it was one of Cal’s builds. We moved in two weeks later and still lived there now during the school year. All our long weekends and holidays were spent in our house in California. Sometimes we brought the family along, sometimes it was just Jason, me, and the kids. And every year on our wedding anniversary, Jason and I came out here alone and spent three days at the hotel we had been to for our honeymoon. He had wanted to take me somewhere exotic, somewhere I had always wanted to go, but going back to what I thought of as our place every year was all I wanted. So he made it happen and never suggested anything different again. At least not for our anniversary.

  “Mom, let’s go already!” Our oldest, Samantha, whined at me. She was seven and was bouncing up and down in anticipation, pulling at her daddy’s hand. Jason grinned down at her proudly. On his hip sat Lola, our five-year-old. She was a complete daddy’s girl, they both were, but Lola wouldn’t leave her daddy’s side. She had been like that from the second she was born. Opening her eyes wide only hours later and smiling for her daddy. It had been a sight to see.

  “Mommy, am I allowed on the big rides?” Ash was our youngest. He was three years old, and just like Lola was Jason’s, Ash was mine. His full name was Christopher Ash Raymond, but everyone called him Ash, mostly to avoid confusion. I remember the day we had introduced him to our family and friends like it was only yesterday.

  “Christopher? You’re naming your son after me?” Chris had tears in his eyes. He was looking down at the bundle in his arms and couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from him. He loved our girls and spent as much time with them as he could. He and his wife Charly were expecting their second. Our kids and Ivey and Cal’s kids were all close in age and were practically growing up together like brothers and sisters.

  “Yeah. Didn’t you say I had to come up with something big to make it up to you for not having you at my wedding?” Jason chuckled beside me and Chris’ eyes shot to mine. “I didn’t mean—” me bursting into laughter at the panic in his eyes stopped him and he realized I had been teasing.

  I grinned to myself, remembering. Chris and Ash were best buddies, just like Jesse and Chris had been. Ash adored his daddy and was a total momma’s boy but he had a special bond with Chris that nobody could miss.

  “No, baby. You have to be taller to be allowed on the big rides. Mommy will take you on the kid rides. Maybe daddy will take us more often now and soon enough you’ll be allowed on the big rides with mommy.”

  “Okay,” he complied and snuggled into my side.

  “I wouldn’t count on it,” Jason muttered under his breath as we walked towards the entrance. I whipped my head around at his words, shooting him a glare. “You agreed that we were done.”

  “I agreed to no such thing.” He showed no remorse as he smirked at me.

  “You didn’t argue.”

  “That doesn’t mean I agreed. I say we try for one more.”

  “Pfft. Try. We don’t need to try. As soon as I go off the pill…boom…pregnant. We probably don’t even have to have sex.” I scoffed. Jason burst out laughing, but he knew damn well that I was right. It had been like that with all our kids. Pregnant within the first week. It was ridiculous really.

  “Well, baby, enjoy the shit out of this day. There won’t be another
visit to Disneyland in the near future.”

  “What do you mean? I’m not pregnant.”

  “Not yet.” The sure way he said that made me narrow my eyes at him. “What have you done?” I asked.

  “Nothing really. Just disposed of your pills this morning.” My eyes went big with shock.

  “You did not!”

  “I did, too.”

  “You…you…I don’t even know what to call you!” Damn it! If I didn’t get replacement pills today I ran the risk of being pregnant already. I was in the middle of my cycle, which meant missing a pill was so not a good idea. That rat bastard!

  “Baby.” Jason’s voice was mollifying. “I love you and I love the family we’ve made. How can you be mad that I want more of what makes us both so happy?”

  “I’m not mad about that. I’m mad about how you went about it. Tricking me into getting pregnant. That’s so low.”

  “You wouldn’t yield so I took the matter in my own hands.” Yield? I thought my head was about to explode! He on the other hand grinned at me almost nonchalantly about being such an ass.

  “Well, if you had given me the courtesy of discussing it like adults instead of demanding that I go off the pill and pout like a little boy when I didn’t yield, I might have agreed. Now I’m afraid I won’t be able to accommodate certain needs you might have later today. Or the rest of the month.”

  “That’s not gonna happen, baby, and we both know it.”

  “Then you’ll have to use—”

  “That’s also not gonna happen. I want nothing between you and me and neither do you.”

  “Arrgh.” I stopped myself from stomping my foot and embarrassing myself by looking like a teenager throwing a fit. Then I took a deep breath and since I knew this would be the only way to resolve this, I decided to compromise and threw him a bone. “Two months. Give me two months. I want to enjoy this summer without being sick all the time.”