Beyond Broken

by Kristin Vayden

  “So we’ve become a stalker?” I tilted my chin.

  “Absolutely. But I’d much rather just get the information from you.” Greyson grinned, a relaxed expression overtaking his features as he studied my face.

  “I’ll text it to you.”

  He reached for his phone.

  “Later.”

  “Really?” Greyson groaned. “You seriously are playing hard to get? Now?” He shot me a disbelieving gaze.

  I rolled my eyes and walked to the door. “Nope. Playing hard to get implies that I’m just leading you on…”

  “Gee, thanks.” Greyson called as I opened the door.

  “I’ll be by to check on you later,” I called over my shoulder.

  Greyson saluted me, shaking his head afterward and ambling over to the couch.

  Chapter Twelve

  The next morning when I arrived at Greyson’s room there was a flurry of activity. Various people were ducking in and out while several women were packing his belongings. I glanced about the room for him. A few men in perfectly tailored and pressed suits were talking next to the large picture window. I didn’t notice Greyson and turned to leave.

  “Sophia!” Greyson’s voice stopped my progress and I turned, my eyes widening at the sight. Greyson strode toward me with purpose in every step. The concentration of his gray gaze was magnified by mimicking color of his dove gray suit. His hair wasn’t tousled, but combed neatly and there was no remnant of a beard, but smooth, perfect skin that accented the strong length of his jaw. His full lips appeared fuller against his clean-shaven skin and I swallowed, not quite believing my eyes. As he drew closer his presence seemed to fill up all the empty space, taking it captive and overwhelming it. The spicy scent of his aftershave hung in the air.

  “Greyson.” I swallowed.

  “Hey, there’s no reason for you to leave. I’m just having everything packed and set up for when I leave tonight. Please… don’t go.” His eyes pleaded and his expression became more familiar, less of a stranger and I relaxed slightly.

  “Okay, I don’t want to be in the way.”

  “Sophia, they…” He gestured to the people in the room. “…are the ones in the way.”

  “Okay…” I eyed them cautiously, not quite believing his affirmation.

  “Come in, let me introduce you to my assistant, Gregory Pines. He’s usually my right hand.” He placed his hand on the small of my back, leading me toward the group of men dressed in a similar fashion to Greyson.

  “Gregory, this is Sophia Holton.”

  A slender man with dark brown hair separated himself from the group and extended a hand. His shrewd gaze quickly evaluated me as he offered a politely restrained smile.

  “Nice to meet you.” I tried to smile warmly, but felt far too lacking to appear confident.

  “So this is the lovely Sophia. I’ve been waiting to meet you. Greyson speaks highly of you.” He released my hand but didn’t pause in his open study of me.

  “Thank you.”

  “Excuse me, sir? You have a call.” Another man in a suit addressed Greyson and he held up his hand to me and gave me a pleading expression to wait.

  I nodded.

  “So Miss Holton, how long have you worked here at the Willow and Oak?” Gregory asked.

  “Not long, Greyson was my first assignment.”

  “Ah, forgive me but that seems a bit odd.”

  “No, you’re correct. It was strange. Greyson requested it.” A smile tipped my lips at the memory of our first… encounter. How things had changed. How he had changed!

  “Greyson? Well, that doesn’t surprise me. What Greyson wants, he gets.” Gregory exhaled heavily and shook his head.

  “He tends to have a compelling personality,” I agreed.

  “You have no idea, Miss Holton.” Gregory speared me with an intense gaze that created a strange curious stir in my heart.

  “Sorry. Have you two gotten to know each other a bit better?” Greyson asked with a grin.

  “Yes.” Gregory nodded.

  “Wonderful.”

  “Greyson? Even though you’re leaving here soon, I need to get a final reading on your vitals. Do you mind?”

  “No, not at all. Here.” Greyson gestured to the couch and I sat, feeling strangely out of place, especially since I had spent so much time in that same spot.

  I took his readings while he spoke with various people and took another phone call. Feeling like an intruder, I stood when I finished and typed the information into my iPad. I wanted to say goodbye, but it was too crowded, he was too distracted, and everything felt wrong. So, with heaviness in my heart, I slipped out the door unnoticed, feeling like that just might be what was really happening.

  It was easy to pretend, to not realize the full extent of Greyson’s lifestyle, until it was overwhelming me in a single day. As I took heavy steps down the hall to my next assignment, I realized that I should have known all along. While Greyson’s words were great, his actions were what would bear the truth. And that would take time, and time was the very thing I knew would try me the most. Because time wasn’t a respecter of persons or emotions, it was raw, unfeeling and cruel at stages. Especially when you were the one waiting and your heart was hanging in the balance. Like mine. I wanted to believe what Greyson had said… but in the end… words were just that. Words.

  I was leaving my shift and heading to my car when my phone buzzed. I took it out and glanced at the screen.

  Gardens, now, please?

  I tossed my stuff in the car and went around the building to where I knew Greyson was waiting. My heart picked up its pace as I realized he hadn’t forgotten to see me one last time before he left. I rounded the large building and took a grassy path to the grove of oak trees where we had gone to talk before. As I came closer, I saw him waiting with his back to me. He stood straight, appearing taller in his gray suit, his shoulders even more accented by the cut of the jacket.

  “Hey,” I called, as I got a little closer. Immediately he turned, a wide grin spreading across his face.

  “Hey yourself.” He nodded his chin and reached out toward me. Without hesitation I went into his arms, inhaling deeply the familiar fragrance of his clothes, his skin, committing it once again to memory.

  “I’m not saying goodbye,” Greyson whispered into my hair, tickling the strands with his hot breath.

  “Hmm?” I murmured.

  “This. It’s not goodbye. You pulled one over on me this morning. You’re going to pay for it too.” He pulled me back from the embrace and gave me a stern glare.

  “What?”

  “You. You snuck out this morning. I turned around and you were just… gone… without saying anything.” His expression was hurt, but he quickly recovered. “Some girlfriend you are.”

  “You were busy! It’s not like was going to go over there and interrupt—”

  “Interrupting is exactly what you should have done. All those people, they are great and valuable to my company, and to me. But they’re not nearly as important as you. Remember that. I saw your face, the hesitant gleam in your eye. You’re seriously wondering if I know what I’m doing or saying when I’m with you. But I do. End of story. Believe it. Okay?” He pulled me back into a hug and clung to me.

  “Okay,” I mumbled against his starchy white shirt, hoping I didn’t leave makeup on it.

  “Good. Now.” He pulled me back, tracing my lips with his finger. “I have to leave, but I’m planning on seeing you soon, hopefully Friday. Will that work?” His eyes searched mine.

  “That will be wonderful.”

  “Good. I’m glad,” he whispered before leaning forward to drop a light kiss on my lips, as if tasting them.

  “Me too,” I murmured.

  “It will be torture.” Greyson groaned and leaned his forehead against mine.

  “It will go by fast,” I said, unsure whether I was reassuring him or myself. Maybe both.

  He leaned back and gave me a disbelieving expression.

>   “Okay, it might not be fast, but it will go by… That better?”

  “More accurate, definitely not better.” He shook his head. “I have to go. My plane is waiting and I have a meeting that I’m expected for. Just… just remember, Sophia. Promise me again, you’ll remember what I’ve said.” Greyson glanced down and grasped my hands. Warming them in his large palm, he traced the outside of my wrist with his thumbs.

  “I promise,” I vowed.

  “Thanks.” Greyson leaned forward and captured my lips in a fervent kiss. There was no tasting, but devouring. His arms banded around me, pulling me tightly in as he teased my lips with his tongue and artfully, skillfully caressed my lips with his own. There was an edge to the kiss, one of panic, of fear that tasted slightly bitter against sweetness of his embrace. His kiss was almost forceful, not painful, but as if he were wanting something deeper, something more that a kiss couldn’t give. Reassuringly, I teased his hair and held him tightly, knowing that same fear lived within me as well. Fear that this was the beginning of the end. One day at a time, that’s all we could do.

  “Greyson.” I broke the seal of our lips. Reluctantly he gentled his hold. “One day at a time, don’t look at the future all at once okay? One day only.”

  “One day…” he murmured, gazing deeply into my eyes, his own pools of gray emotion that swirled with silver.

  “One day,” I repeated.

  “I can do one day…”

  “We both can.”

  His breathing settled as did my own and he just gazed at me, memorizing my face as I did the same to him.

  “My brilliant little nurse.” Greyson’s lips tipped into a lopsided grin.

  “Yeah, don’t you forget it either,” I joked playfully. “Though I can’t take credit for most of what I’ve said.” I shrugged a shoulder.

  “God stuff?” he asked with eyebrows raised.

  “Yeah, you know, credit where credit’s due and all.”

  “Scary part? It’s making more sense every day. Who knows, maybe I’ll even get myself a Bible, you know… find some of this stuff out for myself instead of needing you to smack me upside of the head with it,” he teased.

  “Hey! I did not smack you upside of the head… okay, maybe once,” I amended.

  “Or twice?” Greyson raised an eyebrow.

  “Whatever. You needed it.”

  “No arguments there.”

  “So… not goodbye.”

  Greyson’s grin faded and he pulled me in tightly once more.

  “Not goodbye.”

  He held me tightly for one more moment then released me, his jaw tight with emotion.

  “I’ll see you soon.” He lowered his chin and gazed at me intently.

  “Yes, you will.”

  “And you’ll remember?”

  “Yes… hey.” I paused, my brain clicking a few things into place. “Since when did we decide I was your girlfriend?” I asked, thankful for something to lighten the mood.

  “Caught that, did you? Here I thought I was smooth enough to sail it right by.

  “You’re not that smooth.”

  “Oh yes, I am.” Greyson winked and walked away.

  “I never said yes!” I called after him, a huge smile making my cheeks ache.

  “Doesn’t change anything!” Greyson called back, a smile in his voice.

  “Fine!” I teased.

  “Told you it wouldn’t change anything!” He walked through the grove of trees until I couldn’t see him anymore.

  I waited a few minutes, needing some solitude to think. As I headed back to my car my phone buzzed again.

  Five days, and approx. 15 hours. Counting down.

  I texted back immediately.

  Counting down.

  Chapter Thirteen

  It was hard going to the center the next day. The night before Bekah had sensed my mood and opened up a carton of chocolate cookie dough ice cream. She’d handed me a spoon, and we ate in silence until I spilled everything. She’d listened without a word and hugged me when I shed a few tears against my own will.

  Why couldn’t I just believe him? Trust him to do and live out all the wonderful things he said? I didn’t know, and that was the hardest part.

  The center looked the same, but felt empty. I went through my day with practiced ease and met a few new patients I’d be working with. In their own way, each one reminded me of Greyson. Addiction had many faces, but it still carried a similar personality no matter who you were. It respected no one and cared nothing about the lives it callously shattered. It took, devoured, and ripped until there was nothing left of the addict’s former life but an empty shell. Each person I met, worked with, and helped had been destroyed in some way by their addiction. My heart hurt, broke for them and the pain they were causing themselves and families. Yet at the same time I rejoiced that they were getting help when so many others continued on their path of destruction.

  Slowly as the day progressed, I relaxed and re-found the rhythm of my heart as I remembered the reason I wanted to be there, to help. Greyson had distracted me so thoroughly that I had all but forgotten my first intentions. Guilt washed over me as I realized how weak I was. Falling for Greyson shouldn’t have taken the place of the passion I felt for those who suffered, those who needed help. Realigning my priorities, I felt a surge of energy, of joy. Greyson might be gone… but I wasn’t. I could still make a difference in so many people’s lives. With Greyson gone, as much as I missed him, I would be able to focus on what I needed to do. And that was a blessing in the midst of all the pain.

  By the time the day ended I wasn’t nearly as depressed, but once again looking forward to tomorrow, because each new day gave me the opportunity to change someone’s life. And that was a reason to get up in the morning.

  As I headed to my car I pulled out my neglected cell phone, I had left it in my purse during rounds. My heart leapt when I saw I had missed a few calls so I quickly searched through them, greedily looking for Greyson’s name, but it wasn’t in the list. There were no text messages either. With a heavy sigh, I unlocked my car and climbed in, reminding myself that he was busy and it meant nothing that he hadn’t had a chance to call. I tossed my purse onto the passenger seat and drove away. It was easy to trust and believe when you had the person in front of you, but it was so much harder when they were away.

  Faith, I told myself, was believing even when you didn’t see. And that was how I would live each day, trusting that Greyson’s words were true even when I couldn’t see him acting them out.

  ****

  Just as I was heading to my room for bed my phone buzzed. The screen lit up with Greyson’s name. My heart flipped and a huge grin broke out across my face.

  “Hey,” I answered through my smile.

  “Hello, Beautiful. Miss me?”

  “No,” I teased as I entered my room and flopped onto my bed, deliriously happy.

  “Liar.”

  I giggled. “Why? Do you miss me?”

  “Yes. A lot.”

  “Good.”

  “So here’s where you’re to say that you missed me too, a lot and then we go on and on about missing each other and get all mushy…”

  “Or we can skip that part because you already know I missed you.”

  “I never did like the mushy stuff.”

  “How non-junior high of you.” I shook my head slightly, picturing the enticing curve of his lips, the intensity of his eyes as he spoke.

  “How was your day?” Greyson asked after a moment.

  “Fine. Since I got rid of that one patient who demanded all my time, I’m now taking on a few more cases. All in all, a very productive day.”

  “What is it with high maintenance patients these days… probably some rich guy that has more money than brains…”

  “Yeah, that pretty much sums it up… but he did have some killer gray eyes.”

  “It’s always the eyes that get the ladies.” Greyson chuckled.

  “Wear contacts while you�
�re gone.”

  “Jealousy? Whew, getting possessive, are we?”

  “Those eyes are lethal…”

  “Don’t I know it.” His voice dropped to a smoldering tone and my skin prickled with awareness and attraction. “Don’t worry Sophia, I save all my allure and sexiness for you.”

  “Good, keep it that way.” I joked, feeling more at ease. “So how was your day?”

  “Fine, busy, I’m just now getting home.”

  I glanced at the clock and added three hours to the time. It was nine-thirty here, so on the East Coast it was twelve-thirty.

  “Home from work? You know the whole industrial revolution and the unions made it so that there are laws against overworking your employees.” I kept my voice light, yet I was concerned. Though he had healed and moved past the symptoms of his addiction, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to be tempted to re-enter that world.

  “Yeah, sadly that only applies to the employed, not the employer. There was a lot for me to catch up on.”

  “Just don’t overdo it, okay? You’re still… working through things. It would be really easy to slip back—”

  “Sophia…” Greyson’s tone was forceful, not angry but purposefully articulated.

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m not going down that road again. It’s closed, blocked off, and blown up with C-4, got it?”

  “Okay, got it.”

  “That’s the least of your worries,” Greyson remarked, his tone lighter.

  “Oh? What should I worry about then?”

  “Hmmm… how about keeping me within the… rules… once I’m able to come back this weekend.”

  “Not concerned.”

  “Oh? Is that an open invitation, because—”

  “Nope, rules are still the same. I’ll kiss, hug, and tease you a little bit but nada mas.”

  “And how do you know I won’t try—”

  “To seduce me?” I asked, arching an eyebrow though I knew he couldn’t see it.

  “Yeah.” His voice was dark with teasing desire.

  “Because you’re falling for me… and love doesn’t compromise. It protects.”