Heaven Hill Series - Complete Series

by Laramie Briscoe

  “But you feel safer doing that.” He finished for her.

  “Could I go to your house?” she asked, tears streaming down her face.

  Her world was crumbling again. She had thought that she had found a home here, a place to belong. And now it was being taken away from her. Everything that she thought was the truth was just an illusion.

  “No,” Tyler cupped her face in his hands. “None of what you and I have shared has ever been an illusion.”

  She must have said that out loud, but she didn’t remember it. That was the scariest thing of all. This had thrown her completely off.

  “I care about you, Mer, I’m never gonna let anything happen to you again.”

  She closed her eyes, reveling in his hands on her face. She wanted to believe him. With everything she had, she wanted to believe that he could keep her safe. Never before this had she ever thought he couldn’t. But now she had doubts. Now, she wasn’t so sure.

  “Don’t do this,” he begged her. “I can see you shutting down on me right now. This isn’t changing anything between the two of us. This is just a temporary roadblock. This is nowhere near the end of us.”

  Tears spilled over her eyes again, and her face screwed up in a look of utter despair. “Then why does it feel like it is?”

  “Because you’ve had a shock, baby. I’m not letting you go,” he promised, putting his arms around her. He held her so tightly against him that his muscles shook.

  “Neither one of us knows the future,” she argued.

  “I do, and mine is with you. I understand that you need some time. I get that. I’ll put you up at my house. Give me a few hours to get Travis over there to wire some security for you. William doesn’t know about that house, so you will be safe there. I’m warning you, I’m not giving up on us. Don’t you give up on us.”

  It felt like such a hopeless situation to her. Things had changed on her in the blink of an eye, much like it had the night she’d been raped. It felt like the biggest setback of her life.

  “I think I need to call Doc Jones,” she whispered.

  “If that’s what you need to do, then by all means do it! Do you need me to take you there?”

  She hated this. She hated pulling away from him and seeing the hurt in his eyes, but he was too close. He was too close to the hurt, too close to the danger.

  “No, I can take myself,” she whispered, trying to ignore the pain in his eyes.

  He knew her well enough to know that she’d stubbornly dug her heels in and she wasn’t budging. “Let me at least give you my truck. It’s got a tracking device on it, that way I know where you are if I need to. You haven’t driven your own car in months, who knows if it’s ready to be driven. It’s winter and it could snow. Let me put you in something that I know you’re safe in. At least give me that much.”

  “Okay,” she agreed.

  He reached into his pocket and pulled a key ring out. Handing it to her, he smiled sadly. “I was gonna give this to you tonight anyway. It’s keys to my house and truck. Anything that’s mine is yours, and I wanted you to know that. Go get your stuff together, and then I’ll show you which truck is mine.”

  Grateful for the exit strategy, she ran from the room before she could sob. Life wasn’t fair, and it had never been more unfair than at this exact moment. Haphazardly, she threw articles of clothing into her bag. It didn’t matter if they matched or not, she just wanted out of this clubhouse. On her way back out of the room, she noticed one of Tyler’s hooded sweatshirts sitting on the dresser. Pulling it up to her nose, she realized he must have worn it recently because it smelled like him. Without another thought, she put it into the bag along with everything else.

  “You ready?” he asked as she walked out of his room.

  “As I’ll ever be.”

  He grabbed her hand as they walked out of the clubhouse. They made their way to the garages that housed club members’ cars, and he opened the one that had been deemed his. A very manly black Chevy stood in front of her. Dark window tinting and chromed out, it fit him like a glove.

  He opened the door for her and helped her in before throwing her bag into the passenger seat. Using his large hands, he turned her to face him and stood between her parted thighs.

  “I’m not letting you go, I hope you know that. I understand why you have to go for now, and it’s breaking my heart, but I do understand.”

  She took a shuddering breath. “You’re way more than I deserve, Tyler Blackfoot.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. I’m exactly what you deserve, and I’m not letting you forget it. I’ll give you a little bit of time, but be prepared. I’m not leaving you alone. I understand that you need to come to grips with this, but expect me in a few days.” He leaned in, giving her a soft kiss.

  He shut the door before she could say anything else and tapped the window to let her know it was okay to leave.

  Putting the key in the ignition and driving away from the clubhouse was the hardest thing she’d ever done in her life.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  “Meredith, I’m surprised you called me so soon.”

  The next day she was in Doc Jones’ office, breathing deeply and trying to control the emotions that had plagued her all night. “I was too, to be honest with you.”

  “What happened?”

  “You cautioned me about trying to find who did this. You told me that I may not like the answer and that it may bring up other things. I foolishly thought you were just being overly cautious,” Meredith explained, tears already coming to her eyes.

  In the past eighteen hours, she’d tried to stop the emotions. She had tried to stop the crying, but she just couldn’t. She couldn’t deny the depths of the feelings she had for Tyler and how it had broken her heart that she’d left him.

  “I take it you found out something that has been difficult for you to comprehend?”

  “What we talk about here is privileged, right? You don’t discuss this with other people?”

  Doc Jones took her glasses off and sat forward in her seat. “I’m bound by federal patient confidentiality laws Meredith. What we say here will not go beyond these walls. That is one thing I can promise you.”

  She took a deep breath and forged on with the story of what had happened. “We found out that William Walker, the President of Heaven Hill, might have ordered the rape on me.”

  Sitting back and breathing heavily, she reacted. “That’s a hell of a shock.”

  “You’re not kiddin’. I’ve lived with that man since it happened. I’ve been alone with him on numerous occasions. I’m best friends with his would be daughter-in-law. I feel so stupid and betrayed.”

  “Those are not uncommon feelings, Meredith. You’re justified in what you feel.”

  It helped to have someone vindicate what she felt, but it didn’t shake the loneliness or the sadness that had plagued her since she’d left Tyler in her taillights.

  “So because that is William’s clubhouse – I left it. I left Tyler there and told him I couldn’t stay anymore.”

  The sympathy was immediate in Doc Jones’ eyes. “That had to hurt both you and Tyler deeply.”

  “It did – it has,” she cried. “But I just don’t know how we get past it. William is always going to be there unless we can find a way to bring him down. I have this feeling of utter despair right now, and I saw the anger in Tyler’s eyes. It was murderous. I don’t want to be the reason he’s angry.”

  Her mouth set in a thin line, Doc Jones took a deep breath. “Do you really think you’re the reason he’s angry, Meredith? Do you really think he’s angry at you?”

  “I know he’s not angry at me, but I don’t want to cause him to have feelings that might get him in trouble.”

  “That’s what you do when you care for someone. You stand up for them, and you tell the world that they are yours. That’s what he’s doing. Don’t punish him because he cares for you. You would do the same for him if the roles were reversed.”

&
nbsp; Meredith knew that Doc Jones was right. If someone had hurt Tyler, she would be the first person in line cussing and throwing punches at them. It was just hard to deal with, the fact that she’d lived with such rose-colored glasses on.

  “I guess I’m angry with myself,” she whispered.

  “Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. Why are you angry?”

  “What kind of a person lets themselves be used like this? I made myself a pawn in a game that I knew would have no winners.”

  “But you never asked to get raped, you never asked to be beaten. You cannot take the blame for what others did to you, Meredith. That’s not the way to handle this. Do not let these people off the hook. They did something wrong and they must pay for it. Remember that you are the victim here.”

  Meredith heard everything that the doctor said, but it was hard to let go. She still felt responsible.

  “I can see it in your eyes. If you feel the need to be responsible for something, take responsibility for the fact that you started the game. That is something you can take responsibility for. Know that you’ve learned a life lesson that many others have to learn over their lifetimes. But 99% of the people who learn this lesson are not raped. Let yourself off the hook for that.”

  Breathing came a little easier as Meredith thought about what the doctor said. Letting herself take responsibility for some portion of this made her feel better. It didn’t completely absolve her, but it did give her purpose. It did give her a feeling of contentment.

  “You’re right. I’m glad I called you, I do feel better taking responsibility for my role. I’m gonna have to do some groveling with Tyler. I completely pushed him away.”

  “You were trying to protect yourself, and Tyler probably understands that,” Doc Jones patted the other woman’s knee. “He has great insights on the human psyche.”

  “That he does, especially mine. I’m sure he’ll forgive me, but I’m a little embarrassed to face him again.”

  Doc Jones waved a hand in her direction. “Things can’t be perfect all the time, and it’s good for your relationship if you have a few disagreements here and there. You know what they say about making up.”

  A blush rose to Meredith’s face. “I don’t know really, I’ve never made up with anyone before. I’m really out of my element in all of this.”

  “Then let me tell you, woman to woman. You enjoy the making up. That’s usually why couples fight.”

  Meredith left her session with the doctor feeling like a completely different person. Instead of the flight feeling that had overwhelmed her the night before, she was back in the fight mode. She wanted to fight for her relationship, fight for justice, and fight for truth. She wondered if she should go to the clubhouse and see Tyler, but realized that he might need some more time to himself. The look in his eyes the night before had told her just how much she’d hurt his feelings.

  Pulling into the driveway of the home she’d stayed in, she sighed. What she wouldn’t give to be coming home with Tyler there every day, every night. He had so quickly become a fixture in her life that it was scary, but she knew after her night without him, she needed him. She needed the stabilizing force he brought to her. It had quickly become something that she couldn’t live without.

  Walking up the front porch steps, she put the key into the lock and turned it, opening the door and walking in. She gasped as she glimpsed Tyler sitting on the couch, looking like he had not a care in the world.

  “You scared the ever-loving shit out of me,” she gasped, putting her hand to her wildly beating heart.

  He got up from the couch and silently walked over to her. When he got so close her back pressed against the door, he put his hands up beside her head and shoulder, effectively boxing her in. A devilish glint in his eye, he leaned so that his mouth was even with her ear and whispered.

  “I told you that I wouldn’t let you get away. I’ve given you a night, and now I’m here to tell you one thing. Don’t ever run away from me again.”

  She moaned and closed her eyes. Without a doubt, she was in so much trouble.

  Chapter Thirty

  Tyler took his hands from the door and ran them down her body.

  “I told you I wouldn’t let you run away from me,” he told her again.

  “I know, and I’m sorry I ran,” she whispered.

  Her eyes were still closed and that bothered him. “Open your eyes and look at me.”

  She followed his order, and the look there stole her breath. It was so intense that she wanted to close her eyes again.

  “Keep them open,” he instructed her. “Look at me, see what I’m telling you.”

  The only thing she could do was nod.

  “No matter what happens or what we find out, it’s not going to change how we feel about each other. We have to promise this to each other. I know that it’s not going to change how I feel about you, and I think you feel the same. We can’t let outside forces change the way we live our lives. There will always be outside forces if we let there be.”

  She knew that he was right, everything about what he said was the truth. Couples faced challenges every day and they didn’t run from them. The ones that lasted stayed and fought.

  “You’re right. I want this to last, I don’t wanna give you up.”

  He put his hands at her waist and squeezed roughly. “Then fight for me.”

  She put her hands on his shoulders and hopped up, crossing her ankles at his back. “I am fighting for you. I’m doing the best I can, but I’ve never had anyone to fight for before.”

  “You have me now.”

  She grinned saucily at him before tangling her hands in his hair. “I do, don’t I?”

  “Don’t forget it again.”

  Leaning forward, she took his lips with hers. His lips were always so soft, no matter when she kissed him, they were always full and kissable. Tilting her head so that they could remain connected, she coaxed his tongue out of his mouth. He relaxed against her, allowing their tongues to stroke against each other.

  His hands trailed down her back and stopped when he got to her thighs. Gripping them with strong fingers, he hiked her up higher, making her bend her head to continue kissing him. It gave him an advantage when he widened his stance and pressed her harder against the door. Letting go with one hand, he brought that hand up to the middle of her chest. He broke the kiss as he hooked his index finger in the gap of the button down shirt she wore.

  “Do you like this shirt?” he whispered.

  “It’s not a favorite. Why?” she was confused. Why were they talking about this now and not continuing with the slow screwing against the wall he was obviously teasing her with.

  “Just makin’ sure.”

  With that, he gave a tug and the buttons gave way as the shirt hung limply from her body. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask if she had been okay with him doing that. If it caused any bad feelings because her breathing had picked up speed, but he was silenced when she attacked his neck. He moaned, feeling the little nips of her teeth and then the soothing coolness of her tongue against his flesh.

  The same finger he’d used to rip the shirt from her body made its way to where her bra encased her breasts. Softly, he pulled the cups down under her breasts, effectively trapping them together. As she continued to work on his neck, he swirled his tongue around the hard peak of her nipple.

  Her fingers gripped his shoulders as her core started a slow rock against his. This was different compared to how they always were. Everything in their lives always needed to be done right this instant, and in this they could take their time. His strong arms bulged as he took her weight off the wall and walked them over to the couch. She loved to watch the strength there, the corded muscles and the thick forearms as he performed any kind of task.

  Tapping her thigh twice, he motioned for her to unwrap her legs and then helped her down. Not saying anything, she closed the distance between them and made short work of his cut as well as the shirt he wore underneath it. H
e stood in just a pair of jeans and his motorcycle boots. Without a shirt on, she could see all of his tattoos and for the first time, she took the opportunity to look at them. Some were MC related, others were obviously related to his culture. As she ran her lips around the circumference of his frame, she noticed one that gave her pause. On his left shoulder a dream catcher, inked in grays and blacks, had the date of her attack in its netting.

  “What’s this?” she asked, running her fingers over it.

  He turned so that they could see in each other’s eyes. Sometimes things like this made her feel like they were an old married couple. Other times, he continued to amaze her.

  “It’s there to remind me of the night my life changed forever. And I’m not sure if you’re familiar with dream catchers, but they are supposed to keep the bad dreams at bay if you put them over your bed. I figure if I have you in my arms, those dreams get to me before they get to you. I want to stop them before they start.”

  From any other man that would have been ridiculously clichéd and just a line to get in her panties. But not with this man. Anything he said, whether good or bad, he truly meant. Coming back around to the front of his body, she stopped and took a deep breath.

  “I really don’t deserve you,” she whispered, burying her head in the curve of his neck and nuzzling there.

  “You do deserve me. We deserve each other. There’s a reason I found you that night,” he told her.

  His deep voice told her not to question his words, so she didn’t.

  With more grace than she felt, she ran her hands along the waistband of his jeans. Once her fingers got to the metal button, she lowered her eyes and ran her tongue along her lips as she unfastened it. The tines of his zipper were loud in the quiet room as she fought to bare him to her eyes. After she pulled his underwear and jeans down, he sat on the couch to rid himself of the boots. While he did that, she worked on ridding herself of her remaining clothes.

  When he was done with his boots, he hooked her around the waist and pulled her to straddle his lap. He could feel the trail of moisture she left on his thighs as she situated herself over his girth.